Quietly entering the small room, I find Trinity just as I left her six hours earlier. At least one of us is getting some
rest. Looking at her face, I am thankful that she is now sleeping peacefully. Her sleep had been restless and
troubled. Gently, I lean over to pull the thin blanket over her shoulders before lying down gingerly beside her. The
ship is colder than usual and her warmth is a welcome reassurance in a world gone mad. I wish sleep would
come easily but as I lie quietly beside her I cannot help but relive the recent chain of events that have changed
my life forever. As if sensing my unease, she moves closer to me in her sleep and lays her head on my shoulder.
Her mere presence soothes my troubles and I absentmindedly nuzzle the top of her head. Tension in my body
releases as my guard lets down, knowing without fear or trepidation that I will never wake up inside the Matrix
again. I wrap an arm around her and as sleep slowly claims me, vivid memories of the recent past assault my
senses. My mind skips back and forth between the flashes of memory, unsure of what vignette will next rush past
my inner eye.

*****

Images arise from the jumbled tumult, taking me back to my first wakeful night aboard the Nebuchadnezzer.
Morpheus has just left my quarters and I find myself even more troubled and confused than ever. It is tough
enough coming to grips with the truth that I have been living a lie all along but to add to that Morpheus'
unrelenting belief that I am this awaited messiah simply overwhelms me. I'm supposed to be resting in
anticipation for tomorrow's tasks but sleep evades me and I find myself needing to do something. Anything but
think. The lights flicker out and I am surrounded by complete darkness. Sitting up, I contemplate on all that has
happened thus far. My hand runs instinctively over the plugs in my arms tracing out a path. Finally I face my fears
and raise my hand to feel the one at the base of my skull. The feel of the cold metal jack jutting out of my head
makes me confront in its entirety these terrible truths. Yet, many things don't make any sense at all.

Oblivious to the passage of time, I am startled out of my self-inflicted trance by the sound of the ship coming to
life. The lights come back on just before Tank walks in unannounced. He is clearly excited about today as he
explains to me that he is to be my operator. My eyes are drawn to his muscular arms and I survey the
smoothness lacking in mine. Following my gaze he tells me that he and Dozer are homegrown humans created
the natural way, children of Zion as he puts it. For a brief moment I envy him as I realize that he has a real past.
Parents, a brother, a childhood, real memories. He continues talking, telling me of Zion, the last human city
hidden deep in the bowels of the Earth. Maybe someday I'd get to see it. Maybe. He extends his arm and pulls
me to my feet. I follow him and we climb above deck, no one else seems to be about yet.

He directs me to one of the loading consoles and coaxes me to lean my head back and relax. Gently he slides
the plug into the socket at my nape before he clambers onto his chair at the main console. I have no idea what
we are about to do and I glance over at him nervously. He quickly discards several disks before loading the
combat training module. The monitor in front of me suddenly fills with images. Jujitsu flashes on the lower half of
the screen and I look over at him unsure of what is about to happen. He hits his keyboard and suddenly I feel this
immense pleasure-pain in my head. I gasp aloud as my body's nerves suddenly come alive all at once. The
feeling washes over my entire body from head to toe and all I can do is shut my eyes against the sensation. Just
as quickly as it started the sensation eases and I open my eyes gasping for breath. My brain and body feel like
they've been hit with an extreme rush of adrenaline and as the feeling eases I realize amazed that I do know
jujitsu. Tank is grinning as he asks me if I want more and I gasp out that yes I do. As he hits the load button again
I feel the rush of sensation, it's overpowering and I cannot help myself. How long I sat in that chair I can't
remember. Tank kept feeding me program after program and I sought oblivion from my present dilemma in the
intense sensations that gripped my entire body. Finally, I open my eyes to find Morpheus staring down at me
with a questioning gaze. I know kung fu I tell him, to which he scoffs that I show him. My eyes close as I feel my
consciousness ripped into the construct program.

*****

I open my eyes, waking up and wincing as pain shoots through my body. Slowly I flip over onto my back and for a
moment I am disoriented. Gradually I recall the umpteenth training simulation with Morpheus, being hit hard and
slamming into the dojo wall. I recall dragging myself back here after my latest bout with him and falling asleep
almost as soon as my head hit the pillow. Wondering how long I have been asleep, I sit up and look about. At
least the single dim bulb provides me with some light and on the floor beside the bed is a tray of food with a cup
of water. I pick the tray up to find a bowl of the same slop I have been eating. Whenever I miss a meal, I awake
to find someone brought me some food. My hunger overcomes my distaste and quickly the bowl and cup are
empty. Gingerly I stand up intent on walking off the aches and pains in my body. I pick the tray up and exit the
small room, making my way slowly towards the empty mess. The whole ship is quiet save for the hum of engines
and the sound of fingers dancing on a keyboard. Pulling the blanket around my shoulders I head up to the main
deck where someone is busy working at the main console. At this point, any conversation is preferable to this
oppressive silence.

Cypher is sitting at the main console as I walk up to him. He is busy at work on the keyboard and he doesn't
hear me. I don't mean to startle him but I guess none of the other crewmembers wander around at this late hour.
He's on watch he explains as I gaze at the computer screens in front of him. My mind shrinks back at the
realization that I am looking at the world that I had recently awakened from, a world of computer code. He offers
me a drink and perhaps the dazed look on my face prompts him to reassure me that he too still regrets taking
the red pill. His statement strikes me as odd and I stare at him trying to determine if he means it or if he is
merely sympathizing with me. I know despite everything that I am dealing with now I would still have chosen the
red pill. This world is real, no matter how confusing and terrifying it all is. Somehow this reality feels right. He
looks at me and asks if I know why I was unplugged and as I nod my head, I can see the derision on his face
grow. I feel even more uncomfortable around him when he asks me what I had to say to Morpheus when I was
told. His tone is somewhat mocking, as if the whole thing were a joke that was being pulled on me. All I can offer
in return is silence and quickly I retreat back to my quarters, thanking him for the drink. As I make my way back
below deck I realize belatedly that I have already accepted this reality. Reaching my quarters, my exhaustion
quickly overwhelms me and I sleep the sleep of the dead.

*****

Memories randomly flash back and forth, I find myself standing in an elevator that is rapidly descending while I
finish the cookie the Oracle offered. Morpheus is quiet and has a satisfied smirk on his face. Neither of us
speaks as we leave the building and rejoin Trinity and Cypher in the car. The words of the Oracle echo through
my mind but I realize that I don't really believe them. They are the illogical ramblings of a nice grandmotherly lady.
What actually troubles me is how to break the news to Morpheus. His belief that he has found the One is so
powerful. I am afraid of what will happen when I offer the truth that I am not that person. Truth it would seem is a
double-edged sword. My thoughts are distracted as I scrutinize the world around me. Everything seemimgly so
real, so alive. Yet I know that when I existed inside this reality it was never quite right. I catch Cypher glancing at
the rearview mirror but with his dark glasses I cannot read his eyes. He must be wondering what happened.
Trinity is determinedly looking out her side of the car simply avoiding my gaze. I look down at my hands and
clasp them together. Before long we are pulling up to the hotel and I see Apoc and Switch move to meet us.

As we exit the car, Cypher looks at me and offers me an unnerving grin. I stare at him, and uneasiness engulfs
me as I recognize a mask slipping into place over his features. At that moment I grasp that I really do not like
him, there is something sinister about him and that bothers me. I cannot put my finger on it but since that late
night conversation I have been wary of him. Shaking the feeling, I follow after him. Perhaps I am reading too
much into it, I am after all, the new guy and this is an entirely new existence. As we enter the building I blink, my
eyes adjusting to the transition from sunlight to darkness.

*****

My eyes open just as Morpheus crashes through the wall and pins the agent to the floor. He orders Trinity to get
me out of there. Her shout of concern is echoed by my own. I do not want to leave him knowing that my life is not
worth his. But Trinity leaves me no option as she yanks my leg and I slide down the crawlspace. She almost
shoves me down the drain as Switch and Apoc hold off our pursuers. I land on my knee and as I stand Switch is
quickly down the hatch. Apoc closely follows her and then Trinity who lets the hatch close behind her. We move
away quickly with Trinity leading the way. Morpheus, Mouse and Cypher are gone and we are all aware of how
close our pursuers are. After what seems like an eternity underground Trinity climbs up the rungs of a ladder and
pushes on a manhole cover. We are warily walking the street as she places a call to Tank. I have to know if
Morpheus is still alive and I press her to ask. Relief rushes through me as she says he has been taken captive.
At least he is not dead, the thought is reassuring but a wave of disquiet assails me nonetheless.

*****

The scenes shift and I am standing over the lifeless bodies of Switch and Apoc. Their deaths happened so
quickly, so effortlessly. Both of them seemed to have just fainted, they could not be dead. I look up into Trinity's
tear-filled eyes and the stark certainty is mirrored there. She is still talking to Cypher and in the grim silence I can
hear his voice. She pins me with her tearful gaze and I know that I am next. I stare unflinchingly back at her,
waiting expectantly for death. Her eyes lock with mine and quietly she whispers yes into the phone. In those few
seconds I find myself strangely calm, almost accepting of the fact my life is about to end. I refuse to break this
connection to her, at the very least the last sight I will have is of her flawless face, as beautiful here within the
Matrix as it is in the real world. I wait an eternity for death but it does not come. Instead I hear Cypher's
incredulous shout before the line goes dead. Both Trinity and I are hopeful but unsure of what has happened and
we both stand there in silence, overwhelmed by what has taken place. Her face is a mask of pain and I move to
comfort her when the phone starts ringing. This stops me and I wait for her to pick it up but it seems she is afraid
to do so. I know that it is not Cypher on the other end of the line and I pick up the receiver. She has lost more
than I have during this foray into the Matrix and I offer her the phone, she should go first, get to safety ahead of
me. After all I am the sole reason for this ill-fated mission. She takes the phone and in seconds her residual
image disappears. I pick up the receiver and replace it on the phone. Moving quickly I drag the bodies of Switch
and Apoc to the center of the room. Placing them side by side I lean over to close their sightless eyes knowing
somehow that they would have wanted it that way. The phone starts to ring and I hesitate a moment before I pick
it up.

In the blink of an eye I am back in the real world, Trinity pulls the jack out of my head before she moves away.
Ignoring the nauseous feeling, I climb off the seat to help with the grim task of moving the lifeless bodies of the
rest of the crew. Tank and I carefully move the dead while Trinity covers the lifeless bodies with sheets. We work
in silence, no words will offer comfort at such a time. They both embrace tightly after we move the last body,
Dozer's. Neither of them is crying openly though tears are streaming down their faces. I move away allowing
them some space to grieve and comfort one another. Emotions overwhelm me as I look at the shrouded
remains lined up against the far wall, proving once again the truth of this reality. As for Cypher whose body we
have not moved, all I can manage at the moment is a pang of regret that I did not heed my instincts about him.
Slowly both Tank and Trinity step back from each other. They both swipe at the tears running down their faces,
their attention shifting to Morpheus' inert form. Tank moves toward the captain and Trinity moves in my direction.
She does not look at me; instead she moves past me to stare at the covered forms on the floor. I resist the
impulse to drape an arm around her shoulders, knowing it would be of little consolation so I join Tank and his
own grim vigil over Morpheus.

The Captain's body spasms and Tank lays a gentle hand on his shoulder to hold him down. Tank's face is full of
concern yet there is a steely, determined air about him. I can sense his pain but he has set that aside for now,
preferring to deal with the danger around us. Out of the corner of my eye I watch Trinity still standing quietly over
the covered bodies, I can feel her grief and her anger even more. She is still stunned by what has occurred. We
both watched helplessly as Apoc and then Switch died. Everything has happened too fast. My mind is fighting
the impulse to categorize the events as nothing more than a bad dream I can awaken from. The visit to the
Oracle, the chase, Morpheus' actions, Cypher's betrayal, the exit, the complete realization that I have been living
in a dream world all along -- all of these merge into a confusing welter of images and emotions. My mind is
spinning out of control, trying to come to grips with what is real and what is not. Even now I feel I am still trapped
inside a waking dream, no a nightmare. I place my hand on Morpheus' shoulder hoping that in doing so he will
awake and tell me that all this is not real. But he does not move and sweat continues to pour openly down his
shaved head. I stare down at his body completely lost, not knowing what to do next.

My stupor is broken as another spasm ripples through Morpheus' body. What's happening to him I ask Tank and
he turns to explain what the agents are doing to the Captain. He asserts that Zion must be protected at all costs
and declares that we have to pull plug. Trinity's head swings around at Tank's statement and in her blue eyes I
see the depth of her pain before a flash of anger quickly masks that vulnerability. Her tone is accusing as she
voices aloud what we know is the truth; we need to kill Morpheus before his mind breaks. Tank and Trinity lock
gazes and the decision is made without speaking. We are gathered around the chair that holds Morpheus'
prone body and I feel like an outsider. I am after all the newcomer to this close knit group. My guilt almost chokes
me, I am the reason for all this death and pain. Why me, I ask myself as I watch Trinity and Tank silently say their
good-byes to their captain. He means so much to them, to their cause. As Tank's hand closes around the jack,
the Oracle's words flash across my mind, "One of you will die and that choice will be up to you." Wait, I manage
to say as my chaotic thoughts gain a semblance of clarity in my mind. Both Tank and Trinity look at me with
questions in their bleak eyes. My skepticism at the Oracle's words is now being challenged head-on. I refuse to
believe that she has foretold all of these events but her words are ringing like a bell in my mind. I can no longer
completely discount them. All of a sudden I have the answer to the question, why me? I look at both of them and I
know what I have to do. The words of the Oracle suddenly make sense. I am not the One and I will not let
Morpheus die because of his misplaced belief in me. At the very least I owe him my life and my freedom,
however twisted it all seems now. I still do not believe in all this Fate crap and every fiber in my body tells me this
is not how things are supposed to end. I will take control of my life once again and I will prove her wrong. The
Oracle said I had to make a choice between Morpheus' life or my own. I refuse to accept that is the only choice I
have. There is an alternative; neither of us will die today. I try to explain it to Tank and Trinity but it will take too
much time so I tell them the simplest way I can, I have to make a choice.

As I move towards Tank's console, Trinity follows me demanding to know what I am planning to do. When I spin
around to face her, I realize just how much I trust this woman. Trust in her, without any reason other than that I
know I must. Briefly I remember her words in the car when I almost made the mistake of walking away. Trust me
she said then and I did. I am here now because of my faith in her. I'm going back in, I inform her as calmly as I
can while I work the console. Her steely gaze meets mine as she reminds me of Morpheus' sacrifice and tells
me there is no way I am doing that. Tank looks on and says nothing but I can feel his misgivings as well.

I hate to break the bad news to them now but there is no other way to convince them both otherwise. In as gentle
a tone as I can muster given the circumstances I tell Tank and Trinity what the Oracle told me, I am not the One
and I cannot let Morpheus make a useless sacrifice for the wrong reasons. Confusion and disbelief appear on
their faces, their illusions shattering. Tank is taken aback but Trinity does not seem to believe me. It can't be she
says aloud and I look into her eyes and see her fighting an inner struggle. When I ask her why she doubts me,
she does not answer and instead breaks off her gaze.

Tank tells me this whole idea is crazy as I am going up against overwhelming odds. I try to reassure him that the
rescue mission just seems that way. Deep inside I know that it can be done and I'm the one who can do it. It is
strange that at this moment I believe that to be the truth more than anything else. I tell them that I believe I can
bring Morpheus back. Both of them stop and stare at me for a moment. In that slight moment of hesitation on
their part I know I have convinced them.

Quickly I move over to the loading chairs and prepare to upload. Trinity has followed me and is preparing the
chair next to mine. There is no way I am taking her back in knowing the dangers and I turn around to tell her that
she can't come. I am taken aback by her fierce response. For a moment she shows the passion she is capable
of, her veneer of calm control slipping for just a moment. She asserts her command as ranking officer not
knowing that I am secretly glad she is doing this. It makes me even more certain about what we are trying to do.
Her faith in me is stunning and unexpected. Tank loads her up first and I glance at her calm face as her
consciousness enters the Matrix. At that moment I realize why life in the Matrix never felt right, the mind needs
the body to be a complete being. The mind by itself is almost as useless as the body without the mind. But
without any spirit, the mind and body are nothing. The woman beside me embodies that very truth. I engrave the
physical realities of our consciousness in my mind just before Tank loads me into the construct program.

*****

Once again my inner eye flinches as images assault it. Unexpectedly I find myself staring up at the plummeting
helicopter. Trinity. She is still aboard the doomed chopper. Realizing that the harness is still attached to the
helicopter, I immediately wrap it firmly around my arm. Reason has fled me and if the falling chopper drags me
along with it, so be it. I only hope that she knows that I still have the other end of the harness and that I won't let it
go. As the helicopter disappears over the edge of the building in a wild free fall I am pulled helplessly in the
same direction. My legs slam onto the ledge and I am pulled upright by the weight on the harness. My hands
clasp even tighter on the cable as I see Trinity swing free of the crashing pieces of metal. Her body slams hard
against the glass wall below as the building on the opposite side explodes in a shower of glass and metal.
Quickly I pull her up and as I help her to her feet I realize we are both pretty much shaken up. I steady her and
give her a quick once over, she appears to be unharmed. Something passes between us as we stare into each
other's eyes. I would have pulled her closer if Morpheus had not walked up just then. He asks Trinity if she
believes now and I cut him off trying to tell him what the Oracle told me. I don't get the chance though as he cuts
me off in turn and tells me that what was said was what I needed to hear. His words confuse me but I say nothing
as he leads the way off the roof. We quickly make our way back down to the street where he uses Trinity's phone
to call Tank. Relieved and excited the operator directs us to a subway station. Quickly we make our way to the
exit, avoiding crowded areas and people. We run down the steps, taking several at a time as the pay phone
starts ringing. Trinity and I let Morpheus exit ahead of us. As we stand there she tells me in a very quiet voice
that everything the Oracle has told her has come true save for this. The phone starts ringing again but she does
not pick it up. I don't quite understand her and I ask her save for what. She stares back at me, indecision plain
on her beautiful face. The approaching train drowns out any more conversation and she turns to lift the receiver.
Just as her residual image disappears, a bullet shatters the receiver. I turn to see an agent with his weapon
drawn and I am thankful that I let her go first.

*****

All of a sudden I am being held in front of the approaching train. The agent is unbelievably strong and apparently
unharmed by efforts. My body hurts from the blows it has received and most of my strength is drained. In a cold
voice Agent Smith tells me my death is inevitable. My entire being rebels against that bold declaration and I
gather what remains of my strength. No, I am resolved that no one is going to die today. The Oracle's words will
not define my reality. I lock my arms around his and hold him tightly as I jump straight up with all the strength I can
muster. The agent's body slams into the ceiling and we both fall to the tracks. In a split second I cartwheel
backwards unto the platform just as the train passes. I have escaped certain death but as I run up the stairs I turn
around to find the agent exit from the train, whole and unharmed. Cypher's words come to mind and I begin to
run.

******

My body jerks as I feel the burning sensation of the bullet penetrating my chest. Stunned I look down and find
blood on my fingers. My mind revolts at this, it cannot be blood because this is not my physical being, it's all a
mind game. But the blood stains and runs down my fingers feeling wet and sticky. The pain in my chest is very
real. I look up just as the agent empties his clip at point blank range. The pain sears through me and I crumple to
the ground. Breathing is difficult and my skin begins to feel cold and clammy. Blood is gushing all over my hands
as I instinctively try to stem the flow. This is my reality. Slowly my vision dims and I sink into oblivion. Black
darkness surrounds me and I ponder if this is death accepting me into its eternal embrace. The Oracle's words
were true after all, my life for Morpheus'. In this darkest hour, I wholly accept the premise of something larger
than I determining the course of my life.

With ease I slip deeper into nothingness when I hear Trinity's quiet voice. My eyes search her out but I cannot
see beyond the boundaries of my mind. I cannot see her but I can hear her very clearly. You can't be dead
because I love you, her words reach me and I realize that this cannot be real. I feel a light touch on my lips, a
sweet fleeting touch I know are her lips. With that contact comes the full realization that I can't be dead because
my physical being is not in this reality. It is within Trinity's hands on the outside of the Matrix. My mind fights
through the fog of pain, fear and disbelief to find the truth. Bullets cannot kill the human consciousness, computer
code cannot overwhelm the human will to live.

That insight opens my eyes to see that I am indeed still alive. Again I hear Trinity's voice but this time it is an
order to get up. I obey her and stand up just as the agents turn and aim their weapons at me. The world has
changed around me, I no longer see the Matrix. The world is now a river of computer code flowing seamlessly, in
its flawless wake creating this reality. As the bullets fly towards me I hold my hand out and alter the code around
me. Time slows down and the bullets stop in front of me. I pick one of the shells and look at the intricacies of the
coding. With a sweep of my hand I alter the code again and the metal casings fall to the floor. An agent rushes
up to me and attacks viciously. But my mind now completely free of the constraints imposed by the Matrix,
processes each event at incredible speeds and effortlessly I block his every move. Without effort I deliver a kick
to the agent's midriff that sends him flying across the corridor. As he straightens up, I realize what must be done
to destroy the sentient program. Rushing towards him I plunge into the computer codes defining him,
rearranging it as I rip and shred it to pieces. Eventually the program is no longer a coherent unit and it implodes
within itself and I find myself standing where the agent once was. I turn my gaze at the two other agents at the
end of the hallway and they realize the danger and flee. Suddenly Trinity screams my name and I hear the
urgency in her voice. I turn and run for the ringing phone. As I exit the Matrix I can feel Trinity wrap herself around
me. My consciousness is sucked back into my body and when I open my eyes I find myself staring into deep
pools of blue. The whole ship is groaning around us but I can only see and feel the woman above me. She slowly
strokes my face and my entire being reaches for her. I raise my head and kiss her as gently as I can manage.
My eyes close as I relish her kissing me back. In that endless moment I feel my own soul for the very first time.
She tastes sweet, like heaven I imagine. This other soul touching mine, my other half, my soulmate, my life.

*****

The frenzied images stop as warmer emotions soothe my being. My eyes open and my arms unconsciously
tighten around the woman lying beside me. I gaze down at her and perhaps that indescribable bond between us
tugs on her as I watch her eyes open slowly. Deep pools that drown my soul look back at me. I lean down and
kiss her gently before lifting my head to drown anew in those blue depths. Without a word said, we speak to
each other's heart. The world around us vanishes as we live in one of those endless moments. I manage a
lopsided smile as I tuck her back into my arms before sleep claims us both anew.