Chapter 7: Hate

Lance watched the sleeping teen with a mix of emotions. Ash slept,
blissfully silent and wrapped in a layer of blankets. Lance had bathed
him and dressed him in pajamas after their consummation.
"What happened to your control, Dragon Master?" He asked bitterly.
Self-loathing danced in those golden eyes.
"Why couldn't you put him to sleep or something simple like that when
he started touching you? He didn't even know what he was doing! You
just raped a child! What sort of protector are you? You couldn't even
protect him from yourself…"
Frustrated, but with nowhere to turn, the Dragon Master sighed and
continued to watch the sleeping child.
"This can never happen again…"

I have to be able to protect you. But I can't even protect you from
myself…
This can never happen again. Never. 
I will stop it. I cannot fail again. I cannot!
Poor little one… what have I done to him?!
His light will fade, and it will all be my fault…
I couldn't even control my lust…
And I claim to love him! What a joke.
What have I done…what have I done…
Poor little one…
You would be safer without me, but you need me… let this be my
punishment then. I will never touch you again…
Please, Lugia, help me…

From somewhere else, Lugia shook his head. * Why is my Chosen still
so blind… his own feelings are never enough… I know the Child of Light
loves him… *
But he must discover this on his own…
I cannot help.
He must learn this lesson on his own…
Chosen, why are you so stubborn?


The next day…
Ash woke up, feeling cold. Looking around, he saw that Lance was not
in bed. Shrugging, Ash changed out of his pikachu-print pajamas into a
dark red tank top and jeans, and went to find Lance.
He found Lance making breakfast.
"Morning, Lance-chan!"
"Good morning." Lance said in a subdued tone. "I made cherry-berry
muffins."
"Yay!" Ash cheered, launching himself at the Dragon Master.
Lance caught him in midair with dragon magic easily and put him down
gently. "Now, now."
Ash frowned, but breakfast got his attention and he applied himself
to the yummy food.

Yummy!
Sweet and warm and yummy…
Like yesterday, even though Lance was cold, very cold…
But it was a warm coldness.
Maybe today, they could play again?
Maybe!
Ash grinned as he ate breakfast and then got out his markers.
It was time to draw again.
He drew rainbows and goldfish today.

Then, Ash read a few books, played with his pokemon, ate lunch, and
finished another picture.
"I hope Lance-chan likes this one…"
Ash frowned as he noticed Lance was watching him with arms crossed
and not holding him. He liked being held!
It was so warm and soft…
Smiling, Ash walked over with the picture.
"Lance-chan? You like it?"
A tangela, Lance mused, looking at the drawing. He nodded.
"Yay!"
Ash jumped at the trainer again.
Lance reacted as before, magic catching Ash before the boy could
reach him. * I will not fail this time… *
So close… I will not lose control. I have to keep my own promises.

"Lance-chan?" Ash looked confused. "Why aren't you holding me? I like
it…"
"It's not good for you." Lance explained, hoping that Ash would take
that.
"Really? But…"
"Yes, its dangerous."
"Oh…" Ash said in a small voice. He shrugged and took a sip of his
hot chocolate.
That was warm too, but it just wasn't the same.

That afternoon, they trained their pokemon, and then went to bed.
Ash was very surprised when Lance climbed onto the top bunk and went
to sleep without a word.
Even though he had a new teddy Pikachu, it wasn't the same…
No, it wasn't.
Pikachus weren't warm!
And it wasn't soft.
Why didn't Lance hold him? That was nice and soft and warm…
He didn't care if it was dangerous!

A bit sadly, Ash went to bad after brushing his teeth.
Does he hate me too, now? Like Misty and father?
The shielded mind still mused.
Does he?
Please don't hate me, Lance-chan… please!
Don't leave me alone…
Please, don't' leave me alone…
Please?

End Chapter

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