Yesterday, in a rage, Shigeru Miyamoto threw a Gamecube on the floor. The tiny little box of wonders smashed into thousands of pieces, and Miyamoto broke down in tears. This happening is one of the latest in the line of rumours that Shigsy is losing his sanity. We think this might be just a phase. But we all knew Miyamoto was insane anyway, didn't we? I mean, who else would make it so Link's grandma went senile, and then gives you this uber soup?
Shigeru Miyamoto told IGN yesterday:
"Mario 128 is going to be a new genre of gaming. Called 'Mario GCN: Go Go Chameleano,' this latest offering from Nintendo places Mario in a stealth situation. Using different coloured caps to camouflage himself, Mario hides from his enemies.
The new Zelda game for Gamecube has taken an interesting twist. No longer is it about Link fighting an army of evil; it features Link trying to come to terms that Sheik is a homosexual AND a woman at the same time. He finds this very difficult, but by NO MEANS must you become gay with Sheik!!!
Everyone who has played Tales of Symphonia, like DavePave, know how absolutely fandanglydubious the game is. Then they shall be glad to know that Namco has announced the next Tales game.
"Tales of String-Tungnia is the sequel to Tales of Symphonia, and it promises to be even better.
The game features a young boy called Barclay, who, having caused a devastative attack on his village by the Mesmeresians, is cast out of his village, and is forced to go on into the desert. In the game, he stops at the Tower of Salvation to sleep, he then goes on into the desert.
When he reaches the second town, he is captured, along with his best friends, Gesticle, Michael Kratos-Jones and Sheila. He then escapes, and breaks the first seal, after a vital battle," said Mister Poe Link, Namco's spokesman.
"This game features some of the best graphics ever. You can particularly see this when Barclay leaves to go to Palm-Deskta, and obtains a mountain pass to go over the mountain."
Gunpei Yoko, the main Matakock, then hinted that there might be TWO WORLDS in this new game. He also hinted that Michael Kratos-Jones may become a traitor, but he was actually the father of Barclay.
I was certainly bowled over when I heard the news, as if Lloyd had shouted BEAST!!!!!!, and then whacked me in the face.
Shigeru Miyamoto told IGN yesterday:
"The PSP is officially shit. It is nothing but a cluncked up fucking shit version of the Gameboy Advance."
"It has absolutely NO ORIGINAL IDEAS."
I wonder if good old Shigsy was right? Let's find out shall we?
The PSP features:
-A compact console, with a backlit screen. (GBA / GBA SP)
-Online gaming. (Most computer games)
-Portable audio playback. (MP3 Players)
-Portable movie playback. (Portable Movie Players)
-An intuitive control system. (PS2 / PS1 Controllers)
-Memory sticks. (Computers. And these ones cost well over 100 quid.)
-3D Graphics. (Just about ANYTHING)
Hmmm how many of those features are original. MAYBE Shigeru was right!!!!!!!
The best NES game ever, and possibly the best game ever on any console, Du-Pi-Pong-Powza-Gnunununun-Fukhing-Chit (Lost Kingdoms) is coming out on Gamecube in its original form. Ben Coulson-Gilmer, a spokesperson for the failing company, Pong-Powza Studios, stated that Du-Pi-Pong-Powza-Gnunununun-Fukhing-Chit would be released on the Gamecube, in its original form.
"Du-Pi-Pong-Powza-Gnunununun-Fukhing-Chit surpasses anything ever made," said Ben CG. "It has the best graphics ever, and best music. It is the main Matacock of games."
However, Ben's intention to release Du-Pi-Pong-Powza-Gnunununun-Fukhing-Chit in its original form was questioned. Some faggots claim that the game is outdated and predictable. The presentor of Du-Pi-Pong-Powza-Gnunununun-Fukhing-Chit told them to shut up, because Du-Pi-Pong-Powza-Gnunununun-Fukhing-Chit was a great game.