What if furinkan high had a shit load of naruto fans who were doing the crazy ninja thing. What if the Amazons were only allowed to give out the kiss of death or the kiss of mariage after a certain age, what if ranma beat her before that age? What if the fifth child was always active and was already following shinji.What if shinji was really freaked out by this. What if Ranma got to know Ukyo, and Ukyo got to know Ranma without knowing who each other really was(like around the age of ten or 14), this lead to each of them being more receptive of each other when they confront each other for real. What if Misato was transported to the past after died during the invasion in end of eva, and to help shinji become a man worthy of saving the world, she kinda becomes his gurdian angel who somehow makes it so he flys over some warzone, at which point misato shoots down the plane.This causes shinji to learn how to fight, either by himself, or misato trains him. What if the red string of fate got reset every time it got cut, what if shampoo lost it, what if kasumi or ukyo found it, what if they decided to play with it with ranma? What if while Genma was engaging Ranma to numerous fiances, Nodoka was slowly but surly setting up a huge harem for her son who would obviously be very mannly, and of course do many manly things with his harem.(x-over with hanaukyo maids. Make it so that ranma is the grandson of grandpa taro, or taro sama was nodoka's mom. At least have the triplets in there, make it so that they got fired and are hoping to have a nice master who takes them, err takes care of them.) What if Rei and Asuka had their places switched, as to where they worked in the begining.(ex. Asuka in tokyo-3 and Rei in Germany) What if evangelion continued but we shinji as some legendary fighter that saves the world, but then the world goes to hell ala world war 3. What if Ranma decided to raise and train a dog to protect him from cats and so he would have a companion during his training trip. What if that very loyal and faithful dog fell into the spring of drowned girl? Ranma as Hotaru's Dad. A Neon Genesis Evangelion & Front Mission crossover, or a crossover of any kind that would replace those three eva's with a highschool's worth of mechs. What if before Shinji came along, Misato took Rei into her apartment (would have to alter the story so that Misato lived and worked with NERV for far longer than originally thought), this also made it so Rei learns to gain something of a personality. What if Rei finally wanted something to have for herself, and that one thing would be shinji, and because of this, the next time rei inputs her dummy plug data, all the rei's recieve this knowledge, become sentient, and all as one break thru the glass to go and have their way with shinji. What if the Children of Evangelion were transported to the world of starcraft all as ghosts, lived there and had a three way relationship with each other, and made it so that they knew each other the best. Then much much later they are transported back to the world of evangelion in their original 14 year old bodies to live out their lives again except with a whole new perspective on life, more knowlegde about the universe, and knowledge about alien technology. What if Kasumi asked Ranma to help her get into shape? What if Ranma and Setsuna were lovers but their memories were blocked somewhat but every time they saw each other they would feel something for each other.(like arousal) What if Mana was trying to get Shinji to defect to her organization rather than get information? What if Shampoo had a sister whom Ranma defeated and they both persue him. What if lilith was sent over to America instead of japan, thus making America the target for the Angels? What if Rei really did kickbox, what if she decided that to help shinji become a better and more competent fighter, he should be taught how to kickbox. And Rei personally takes it upon herself to teach him how to fight. What if Ranma got himself a Succubus that was sent to drain him of his sexual energy? Or what if it was like the oni in the OVA that got kasumi, but eventually took over him, and then decided to hang around with him(ala "lillim's Kiss"). What if the first technique that Ranma learned from Cologne was a modified version of the splitting cat hairs which was more like a clone technique. What if Misato was sent back into the past and her age reduced so that she could be Asuka's replacement as the 2nd children. What if she decided to share an apartment with shinji to keep him company.What if she started falling for him. What if Ranma was an Angel trainee and went after Flone to try and stop her since she is "a weak little girl not up to a mans job" but in the process gets stuck following flonne trying to keep her alive. Ranma/Disgaea crossover. What if Rei had multiple/(a duplex in her head) personality disorder like Admiral Tim from "Nuke It Till It Glows". AKA. Smashing her head into walls screaming for all the voices to shut up (this is because all 127 Rei's can talk to her and have different personalities). What if one morning shinji accidentaly spilled beer over his pants/crotch and at that time misato came in. At this point shinji finds out that in the morning misato isnt totally coherent, and A Ranma / Evangelion crossover. What if Gendo Ikari made a promise to Fuyutski to combine their schools of war by marrying their children off to each other. Asuka would of course take the role of akane tendo, but rei would take the role of either ukyo or/and shampoo, which could be done if rei at an early age was engaged to shinji but gendo abandoned her, so she went off to become a better fighter so she could kill Gendo (she realises that shinji is too young or stupid to realise this) in her seach for someone to train her she meets the chinese amazons, who eventually train her. What if Ranma took a sword from a (several)female swordswomen and in their culture it means she is his property since the sword is the samurai's soul, and he now has their souls. All this happens at an early age, so this could lead to a giant quest for Ranma after Genma sells off the swords in a drunken stupor thinking that it's a dowry. This causes Ranma to go and search for the swords after being sold so he can give them back, but it takes longer than expected. Several years later, Ranma has returned the swords but they have all pledged their loyalty and their love to him during their long journey, and thus they continue to follow him as he goes off in search of his parents whom he lost track of when he went to the pawn shop for swords at the very begining. What is Shinji was attacked by succubus like yasha from lemon punch What if Ranma was a rouge dark general under beryl's command that released himself.What if he was originally the knight of saturn. The story of ranma 1/2 told as an rpg. "Ranma wake up it time to go out and lvl up!" A Juuni Kokki & Neon Genesis Evangelion crossover. A Juuni Kokki & Ranma crossover. this would be more acceptable since ranma works well in a chinese setting, since it has more of a traditional model. What if Ranma and Kasumi get tired of living in the tendo home and the both of them decide to run off together? What if Pen-Pen was really a smart animal on par with Ein from Cowboy Bebop and what if he tried to help shinji out in life, in gratitude for the easier life he has now, since misato wasnt much of an owner.(If one wants you could give him telepathy) What if Ranma was adopted by the military to be a soldier? Then Genma came to bring Ranma back? What if on the first day that the saotomes arrive, Kasumi is the first one to see Ranma in the bathtub, and what if this led to a slow response against an engagement to Ranma making her the fiance. What if third imact occured and afterwards Asuka takes all the credit for bringing humanity back to life. Later the angels begin their judgement but asuka is insufficient in fighting them. Now the reorganized Nerv must find Shinji Ikari who is living with a female version of kawaru, to destroy the angels. This eventually discredits Asuka from the eyes of the people, which makes her blame shinji on her problems, but now other people will see what she is doing. What about an Self-insert where i go into shinji's head ala Insertion, but shinji can take control and keep me from doing things. What if Ranma was trapped in the world of Siren in Girls bravo? "Ikari-kun I would not mind you pursuing sexual reations with me" what if rei said that. A love comedy that involves shinji trying his best not to be tempted by rei who seems to get into the most sexually available positions in front of him. What if shinji was originaly a homeless kid that fell in love with the daughter of another poor family before he was taken to be a pilot. What if shinji was allowed to clean misato's room for her, and while doing that he finds naked pictures of himself, next to several erotic "toy's". How would shinji confront misato about this matter, would he try to confront her and talk about it, but only to stutter and never bring it up, or would he grow a spine and begin deliberatly teasing her, and find ways to accidentaly get seen naked by misato. What if shinji had a shy girlfriend just like him. What if Shinji really did have a sister, one who was shy like him, but when either one of them is in trouble the other half will become determined enough to do anything. What if the reason shinji is always so embarrased is because every girl he meets is coming on to him(making sexy poses and mouthing erotic phrases) behind each others back What if ranma found out that kasumi's food got better the happier she was, and soon she gets into a bout of depresion, it's up to ranma to cheer her up. What if Sailor Mercury recruited Ranma Saotome as the scouts personal trainer. What if one the section 2 agents befriended shinji. This could be done during an attack on the section 2 team guarding shinji leaving one agent to lead shinji to safety, where shinji becomes friends with the agent, or he could just happen to start talking with the agent for some reason or another. What if Ranma or Shinji was trained by the military or someone with military a background, that was fanatic about his or her core. The only military man i can think of being so military is either sagara souseke, a video game character or an original character. Or what if shinji was raised in America and because of his life there he grew up loving violence and wish to grow up as a marine who lives and fights at the front lines risking his life for his country. What if the Angels in Evangelion were deployed so rapidly, that the Eva's were slowly being destroyed because of the Angels rapid assault. This may cause the rest of the world to send their own Eva's, but only after the the public learns what awaits them if the angels reach Adam. What if Ranma or Shinji heard in their heads voices calling out combos or commentary during their fights. Or in shinji's case the techies in the command center make commentary, or a low end techy tries to support shinji secretly be providing comentary. Another path is to combine this with the Yui can talk to shinji story to make it so she's making commentary. What if Shinji found out that he could make personal AT fields? What if Shinji was a Counter-strike freak, and lived with Rei like in the idea below. Working with this idea, we have to incorperate such things as how counter-strike drastically changes people's personalities, such as making shinji kinda having a schitzo type of experience that goes from really laid back to freakishly violent. Rei's personalities would stick mainly in the domain of freakishly violent. Also such things as how fast games, and technology upgrade must be taken into account, possibly making it so that the eva mind-meld technology is put into effect so that they feel like they are really in the game. What if also along with that it starrted out like the cold-hearted gangster shinji, with sufficient weapons training, but a little on the light hearted side so he wont turn away everybody. What if in the begining of the evangelion series, shinji was roomed in with rei instead of Misato taking him in. In this world, Rei and Shinji would sleep in bunk beds, eventually we would realise that rei was ordered to keep from enjoying things so she would find life bland and unenjoyable, but shinji would change that. Shinji would originally have his own room but it somehow gets destroyed and he meets rei nearby, where she informs shinji that she would not be against having a roomate. The authority allows this because it raises shinji's sync ratio. A Change of Morning Procedures. What if Misato went to sleep naked, thus making her come out of the room naked and being very used to walking around the apartment naked. A self-insert where i kidnap shinji and brainwash him into hating gendo so much that he will attempt to murder him every time he see's him. I would take him into my care and train him to kill, thus making him more effective in eva, and scaring Gendo with the numerous close calls. Another way of writing this is for Yui to raise him by telepathy, but she has the unfortunate problem of being very lonely, and thus every time shinji see's Rei he feel an intense urge to have sex with her. Rei from evangelion has never felt pleasure, and what pleasure she has felt was always fleeting, so what if shinji reintroduced rei to a massage, and once that happens rei doesnt want the world to end, and want to feel that more and more.This could be also a lemon where she gets off, a then blackmails shinji into being her loveslave. What if every time shinji went into unit 01 he went into the mind of unit 01 where yui helped him fight to save the world. And this caused a connection to be made with him and unit 01 to both communicate and control it from afar. What if Dr. Tofu left way early into the series, and because of this Kasumi becomes desprate and quite eager to be engaged to ranma in the begining of the series. An Eva and Ranma crossover, involving rei and shinji being trained by ranma saotome in nerima which survived along with most of its residents. An Evangelion & Starcraft Crossover. Sash from Amazon village chasing ranma Basic intro of the two coming on the road to Amazon village Look into tournament fights to see that sash won her way into the finals by blind luck Ranma and genma enter village to see the fight Sash vs. Shampoo: Sash wins by tripping on her own sash and knocking out shampoo by falling on her Standard fight between sash & ranma except after wards sash trips on herself to accidentally kiss ranma on the lips The guide figures out that girl + girl=death & girl + boy=marriage but doesn't know about diff kisses Basic character for sash is usagi with a bigger manga obsession were watching samuari 7 1-2 Macross 0 ep4 fumofu jing dear boys Amphisa from Diablo 2 an ally that helps ranma happi summons demon to kill ranma for ruining a panty raid Demon tries to kill ranma, but soon realizes that he/she/it is losing the battle against the mortal and thus tries to send it into another dimension (the world of Diablo 2) Ranma arrives in the rouge camp in the style of a town portal (inspired after seeing the demo on Front Mission 4) What if Gendo died really early in the series, the commander who takes over in place of gendo grows to actively oppose the seele council creating a small army to prepare himself, and to be used as a mercenary army to be sold to other countries. Shinji Ikari is at age twelve told of what happened to his father and is recrited be the new commander to work for him, he is slowly integrated into the military as a soldier, and as a pilot of both evangelions and other crafts. This experience gives him the ability to competently fight in the Angel wars and the sabatoge missions against seele, which would eventually lead to the final confrontation between seele and nerv. He is even more entusiaized when the base that he is training at is attacked by seele forces, killing a large percentage of the people there. What if setsuna was the councellor at furinkan high? Ranma will become something of a wildcard since he would be like a barbarian/assassin A sorceress is in the camp and follows Ranma since he stole some treasure from her, Ranma then casually defeats her over and over till he figures out what he stole and then she decides to join up with the two of them. Could either follow D2 classic or LOD, with D2 having Amphisa pine away for him sending letters to him or communicating with him some way but keeping in contact with him so he wont forget her, eventually following him with the sorceress to the real world so go after him. Or if following LOD she continues to work with him during her time and then following him to his home saying that since he saved her people that she MUST repay the debt by keeping him from harm The three skill he has is the chestnut fist, hiru shoten ha, moko takashiba The three skill branches will be separated into physical enhacement, elemental magic, and energy projection Natsumi and Kurumi come to the tendos at the same time as ranma The two with their "Where one ends the other begins" motto decide to share him between the two of them They believe that becoming is the way to ensure their selves as heirs of anything goes Ranma's slave Ranma gets separated on the path to jusenkyo right a week or a month before arriving, and ends up at the musk citadel, there he finds and breaks out a slave girl being held captive there. A variant of this is that ranma's mother was in fact filthy rich, and thus had maids at her service, ranma himself had a maid the same age as him, that would grow to be a proper maid at 16. At a young age ranma's maid has to leave home on the training trip, but genma has already left so she has to catch up with them. She is 6 years old at the time, and is obsessivly devoted to ranma. Sooner or later ranma finds her just spying on them, and he assumes that she is a ninja. She decides to serve as ninja to ranma, secretly watching over him and secretly training with him when genma is asleep. She also reads mangas to gain info on her jobs, but their things like la blue girl(for ninja,and later it extends to karma sutra),and for her maid skills which she is reminded of by nodoka, she reads hanaukyo maids. Another variation is that a girl is hit with amnesia, and then follows ranma as a ninja, or maid. Lover's of the battlefield Ukyo gets fed up with the buddy relationship and decideds that she and ranma will either be lovers or be enemies. Ranma in his indecision hems and haws at the subject without really answering which Ukyo takes as a means to declare Ranma as her enemy. Ukyo then proceeds to attack Ranma randomly in the fashion of Ninja Scrolls (hit & run) but these fights soon make them both realize that they both love fighting to the point that Ukyo and Ranma improve their fighting skill dramatically.(or this could be how it all started out, instead of ukyo training, she tries to assasinate ranma since they left her) Jusenkyo Girl What if there was an old wisard who said that he could help Ranma to get rid of the curse, the trick was that Ranma would have to make it so that there was never any spring of drowned girl at all. So the wizard sends Ranma back in time to the era of when the spring of drowned girl was made, and it's Ranma's mission to save the girl from ever drowning. (optional:When he gets there he finds out that his curse no longer works out since there is no spring of drowned girl just a regular spring) When he gets back in time he hits a snag because of two things, one the girl is in fact an amazon, and two the musk are at war with the amazons over possesion of jusenkyo, with the musk and the amazons at a stalemate on either side of the springs. And to make it even more complicated Ranma eventually falls in love with the girl, which will make life even more difficult during the second season of this story in which Ranma and the girl travel back to the present with each....this causes even more maddness than before. This is especially true since both the girl and Shampoo are amazons in which case that means that they would share him for the good of the tribe.....O_o It's all Ucchan's fault(kinda like skysaber's usual ego trips) What if Ukyo was more womanly? At an early age, Ukyo is training parteners with Ranma, but later her okonomiyaki stand is threathened by a new gang that settles into her home town, despite her father being an acomplished martial artist, he is not enough to fend off the gangsters, this leads to both ukyo and ranma fighting them off. The fight ends with the gangsters being driven off, ukyo having an all new view on Ranma. This view being that of a knight in shining armor, which she adores and wish to feverently by the princess that the knight is searching for. After the saotome's leave ukyo goes on a journey to become Ranma's wife, in doing this she eventually meets Ranma's mother who thoughly instill's her view on womanly-ness in order to become the bride of Ranma, and also from her she recieves naginata training. When she finally meets up with ranma she is fould to do anything and everything to be with him even have co-wives with Shampoo in order to be with him.(limey goodness al around) A story about shinji being contaminated by the angel Ranma F3 crossover What if Nodoka knew the family from f3 and decided that they would be perfect for testing Ranma's manlyness with some personal training before hand of course. Final Fantasy Challenge Mix ranma & FF and add drunk female char for laughs The Other Tendos What would happen if Natsume and Kurumi met up with ranma before going to the dojo and the two gang up on him as a way to becoming a tendo. The Disabled What would happen if ranma met and then later on fell in love with a blind (or similarly disabled)girl.[inspired by www.sexylosers.com] Shampoo's Choice What would happen if when Shampoo found out about Ranma's curse, she decided to love(right there and then) Ranma no matter what form? What if some girl revealed that Ranma's scent cause's girls to have erotic wet dreams about him. And later we find out that the cause of this is Genma, who made Ranma drink a potion which caused this effect, just to ensure his manliness. The Siblings What if Ryoga and Ukyo were family? What if Ranma managed to cure Hinako, and because of this she gets a crush on Ranma? What if there was really a japanese amazon tribe? What would happen if Genma died while renting his son to another family, and they happened to be entertainers(singers, actors...)? What if Ranma had other siblings? What if the Kiss of death & Marriage was really illegal during the tornament? What would happen if konatsu went after ranma? What is Squall was part of the disiplinary commitie? And eventually made friends with fujin and raijin as his subordinates. An Evangelion/Starcraft crossover. What if Squall actually thanked Quistis for the help with the spider? What if there was a female gunblade specialist in squall's class as he grew up in garden? What if Ranma was recruted/sold into mithril to work in the same team as sagara souske? An Evangelion AU done in fuedal japan, or in the game Suikoden. What if Misato lived in a one room studio apartment. An Evangelion/FF8 crossover, in which Shinji is put into the body of Squall in which the two merge into a new person kinda..maybe...i dunno. A Evangelion/Xenogears crossover. What if one of the female seeds got amnesia and woke up thinking squall was hot? What if Squall and Quistis had a Gendo/Ritsuko type relationship (in actuality they do love each other but squall is trying to put it off as pure lust and Quistis is just playing along because she knows its only a matter of time before he gives in), this begins as soon as Quistis get fired and gives her heart to squall after the dance. What if Ranma was transported to the world of Diablo 2 as a child of 5 and raised by a shaman to be a leader of the tribe, but the tribe is overrun and destoryed by another clan when he is around the age of sixteen. Lost and without a home he wanders to eventually stumble upon the amazon camp where he stays for a while, till that to is over run. While staying in the secondary camp he learns that he can use a shaman post that's human sized to ressurect people. He and several amazon now go out to strike back against Diablo. What if the angels in Neon Genisis Evangelion was actually just a long range scouting party for aliens. And was preparing for an alien invasion? What if Ranma was a teacher and his charm happened to get classroom after classroom of female admirers? What if Misato adopted Shinji as a little brother as soon as his father abandoned him? And later we find out that Gendo dies or is murdered somehow, and shinji learns of it at an early age (this later lets him grow a backbone so that he can fight using an evangelion competently). What if Shinji's uncle was in Oregon,America and was the boyfriend of Gali the Marine when she was a little girl, this would hopefully give shinji some sort of competency with fighting. Or what if Gali roped shinji into some kind of shotgun marriage? What if Shinji was raised by a distant Aunt that used him as a sex toy constantly? What if a whore thought to decieve ranma into a bed-martial arts challenge to keep her brothel afloat by introducing the place to him as a training area. Later Ranma's mom finds out about the challenge and is whole heartedly supportive of such a challenge? What if Ranma really defeated Shampoo's mom in the tournament instead of Shampoo? What if Ranma's curse allowed him to meet and talk to his curse in his dreams, in his dreams time is extended so that one hour real time is really one day dream time? What if there was no asuka in Neon Genesis Evangelion, she is indeed the most expendable pilot in the series, so what would NGE be if there was no asuka? This can be achieved in several ways, one of the unique one is if she was shot by a religous fanatic, by means of sniper. Another way this can be achived is she lost the battle at sea, either she died at the hands of the angel leaving the navy to fend for themselves and eventually get slaughtered, or she wins but her cord gets cut at she eventually sinks to the bottom of the ocean where she starves to death before her unit can be retrived. An Evangelion/Salior Moon crossover???O_O What if after the end of evangelion the only two people left on earth to become the next adam and eve were Shinji and Misato? shiane silver Akemi Kakihara=ak mahq.com Gomatto Akina Enigma Various - Anime Megamix(para para max)=dj=ketonom http://www.rightstuf.com/1-800-338-6827/catalogmgr/U82znYnzZPx9izY0MC/browse/category/17/309/16 Double ======================================================================= Dear Lord... I can only find ONE fatal flaw with Orta..IT'S TOO BEAUTIFUL!!! Sincerely, the sheer awesomeness of the game is TOO distracting! I catch myself looking at the beautiful scenery, and then realize (usually about half an energy bar later) that I'm being attacked ^_^. It's like having the most beautiful woman you could ever meet, standing in front of you with a loaded gun to your head, saying the most erotic things to turn you on while she's slowly pulling the trigger. Anybody else pick this nominal loveliness of a game up? (This message was generously aimed a Kwok and the murderous rage it should throw him into ^_^ ) ======================================================================= I bought this rose to show it how beautiful you are. Smile! It’s the second best thing to do with your lips. Is your last name maple? I could have sworn you’re as smooth as syrup. I’m not a music teacher, but I can make you sing like a choir. My name’s Mike, and I’m rich. Need I say more? I’ve been here for almost an hour. Are you going to buy me a drink or what? Whoop! Whoop! I apologize for pulling you over, but I have to write you a ticket for driving men crazy. Girl, if you were ice cream, I’d order two scoops. Hey, babe. Nice tooth. Know what’s wrong with you? Not a damn thing. How do you do it? ("Do what?") Get prettier every time I see you. Some people think money can get you a woman, but I think you’re priceless. Go ahead; take your clothes off. It’s on me. Are we near the airport, or is that just my heart taking off? So, when does your centerfold come out? Excuse me, what time is it? {She gives time). Meet you at my place in an hour. Ever danced with the devil under the pale moonlight? If you look as good as I think you do, I’ll take this bag off your head and put it on mine. Excuse me. Do you have a date with me? Hi, my name is Tommy, and I want you to be my baby’s mommy. Hey! I’m not being picky. Why are you? Grab your purse. We’re going home. I thought you should know that I’m going home to make love to you, and I would really like it if you were there in person. If you were a potato chip and I was a battery, you’d be Frito-Lay, and I’d be Eveready. Let’s get off on the right foot and do all the wrong things. You are so fine, let’s dine. Don’t let me see you naked on payday! Survivor pick-up line: I vote your pants off the island. So, you want to make out or what? Excuse me, miss. You dropped something: the conversation. I see something sexy, and it’s not me this time. I hate to see you leave, but from here it’s great to watch you go. I can’t wait for tomorrow. I get better looking every day. If you were a president, you would be "Babe-ra-ham Lincoln." Woman is checking you out) See something you like? I’ll bet your smile can light up the whole room?Damn, I was wrong! My shoes are having a party later. Why don’t your pants come on down? Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me. Don’t fight the feeling. You know you want me. Here’s a quarter to call heaven to let them know you’re lost. Could I bring you a fan? You look really hot to me. I will gladly marry you next Tuesday if we can have the honeymoon tonight. Wanna come over to my place and play poker? So, how big is your boyfriend? Just trying to figure out how badly I’m going to get beat up for taking you away from him. I’d take you for a walk, but sugar melts in the rain! Your face or mine? Is your name Schnapps? You give me that warm, fuzzy feeling inside. Wanna play doctor? Shall we go through a thorough exam or head straight to malpractice? Roses are red; the sun is gold. I’ll get on my knees and do as I’m told. Are you free tonight? Or is it going to cost me? Ah Fragments... liked it, but I've found that Catharsis has just got something to it as well. Whereas Fragments has fulfillment, Catharsis is more of the unrequited type. Both very good. An "oldie"... Waters Under Earth. Epic story... Speaking of epic stories... Process of Elimination is a must read. Comes the Cold Dragon is excellent.. however some may feel bogged down in the story, particularly with the time and details that Don spends on cultural items. I rather enjoy it, but some do not like stuff like that... Rendevous with Fate... a nice AU set back during the Edo period. It even has a little AMG in it as well. Love, hate, and a complex plot... makes for good reading. Gaijin... just when I thought that Carrot had done his best with Insertion, he brings this fic out and out does himself. Of course Insertion: Reflux is a good read as well... Ten... great story...what else needs to be said? Just can't die... good stuff. Came out of nowhere on me... the Just can't die:reborn got me hooked after a chance reading... Hearts of Ice... great fic that only keeps on getting better. Only prob is that Krista's life doesn't permit her much time to finish it up... Ranma Chronicles by Mark MacKinnon... two Ranma's?!! It only keeps getting better from there. Sailor V in leather... a thong in particular. Highly recommend. Choices and The Curtain May Fall by Michael Noakes. Both excellent... Mike's descriptions are wonderful... drawing the reader deeply into the story. And the list can go on... While Jurai Knight's Quantum Destinies is easily my favorite (surprise :P), and would recommend it to just about anyone, I am going to bring up a several that have been overlooked: Mortal Engines. An El Hazard OVA series that Alan Harnum wrote that, IMO, was superior to anything he did, including the earlier Waters Under the Earth. The only downside is, it's incomplete and likely to remain so since he seems to have stopped writing. Still, I think what's there is easily worth the read. Then you can pester him to continue it. Also of note, Needful Things/Aurora of Rainbow Fire, Tenchi fic by Ragun P Moody. While it does have lemon flavor to a lot of it, (NOT involving Sasami in any way shape or form), the stories are solid in their own right, especially once the Tenchi/Ryoko/Ayeka situation is resolved. Of special note are the Kiyone, Mihoshi, and Sasami chapters, which are some of the best writing I've seen in quite a while. Across Honour: A R1/2/Excel Saga xover by Bjorn Christianson. It's a brilliant work that so perfectly parodies so many horrible trends in R1/2 fanficdom, while maintaining an overall humorous feel, that I was left laughing my fool head off for quite a while. Others I would regard as worth reading, (and can recall off the top of my head since I usuall don't do favorites lists): Nuke 'Em Till They Glow, by Ben Oliver. An SM fic that has a rather... unique sense of humor. Process of Elimination by Brain Randall, multi-xover with the emphasis on Ranma and Tenchi. Diamonds in the Rough, an Love Hina/R 1/2 xover, also by Randall, and currently ongoing. Power, by intrasonic, Ranma 1/2 fanfic. Blonde 1/2: An older humor one in the Ranma 1/2 genre, but it kept me amused nearly every page. There are, of course, many others I like, but I'm keeping the list short, with mostly ones that haven't been mentioned already, and trying for a spread of different series. DB Sommer Summary: A very silly fic. It seems like in every FF8 fanfic, Squall is the object of EVERYONE'S affections! There's just something about him that says "screw me senseless." Things are getting out of hand since nobody can keep theirs to themselves! What will Squall have to do to finally get some paperwork done? Drastic measures are required! Warnings: For comedic purposes only! Not to be taken seriously. Contains language, sexual themes, incest (implied), mentions of bondage and more pairings than you can safely shake a stick at (that includes YAOI/SLASH). ***** There's Something About Squall-ie! ***** "Mmmm, nice," Irvine drawled as he passed, his eyes lit with bald appraisal. He made no attempts to hide the path his eyes took, travelling from Squall's crotch to his face and back. The cowboy even paused in the hall, waiting for him to pass, apparently he was planning on getting a back view as well. And for once, Squall just couldn't suffer the innuendo that tainted their dealings. He'd had all that he could take. All the sexual jokes and "accidental" touches would have to wait for another day when Squall didn't feel like killing someone. He just kept walking, ignoring the fact that Irvine was most definitely staring at his ass all the way down the hallway. Zell waiting outside of his room wasn't a welcome sight either. Zell's eyes traveled the same path that Irvine's had, but he even licked his lips. "Got a minute," the excited blonde blurted so quickly the three words sounded like one. "No." And with that, Squall walked through the doors, locked them behind him and tried to ignore the way Zell had looked at him like he was something good to eat. That made the total number of encounters like this twelve for the day; three of them being Seifer, one from Zell, two from Irvine and Quistis, two from Rinoa, one from Cid and the weirdest one coming from Laguna Loire, his father. That last one, he didn't even really want to think about. In fact, Selphie was the only one who always left him alone and he couldn't have thanked her enough. It came down to the fact that Squall was beginning to feel like a piece of meat. Wherever he went, somebody hit on him, grabbed him, made a lewd comment or tried to jump on him. And Quistis with all her talk about whips.... Squall shuddered involuntarily. Something had to be done... **** Seifer looked around at the gathering in the room and couldn't figure out what any of the people had in common enough for it to warrant a meeting. He took stock of each individual, sure that an explanation was there somewhere. Zell was shadow boxing in the corner and Irvine was lazily hitting on Quistis who just looked bored. Laguna Loire, president of Eshtar was talking lazily with his assistant, Kiros while Xu, Nida and Rinoa chatted happily with Cid Kramer. All things considered, they were in charge of different areas in the Garden and really had no reason to be in a meeting together. But when Squall called a meeting, you came. And here came Commander Puberty now. He strolled into the room and it suddenly dropped a degree or two. Seifer watched as everyone in the room shivered at first, and then immediately stuck out their chests or cocked hips to the side. Irvine let his hair down and combed it in an enticing manner. Quistis and Zell looked like idiots with starry-eyed expressions and Cid blushed. Laguna was suddenly stumbling all over himself. Even Seifer was shifting in his seat uncomfortably, trying not to stare. How exactly DID Squall get in those pants? Squall took one look around the room at their faces and was reminded why this meeting was so necessary. Not interested in delaying any longer, Squall got down to business. "All right, you're probably wondering why I called you all for a meeting today, so I'll get to the point." He crossed his arms over his chest and leveled an icy glare at the room at large. "I want all of you to stop hitting on me, grabbing me and generally making sexual comments and advances towards me. Got it?" The silence of shock lasted for two seconds before chaos broke loose. Irvine looked like someone had broken his favorite rifle while Zell was a bright shade of pink as was Quistis. Laguna might have been having the worst set of leg cramps in his life and Rinoa was crying. The rest of the room's occupants were at various stages of shock, disbelief or indignation. It was Quistis who brought the room back to order. "Squall, listen. That's a very serious statement," she said, trying to laugh it off. "Not to mention you're accusing ten people all at once!" "Right," Seifer chimed in, intrigued by the turn of events, "And I have numerous examples of each one of you placing me in aggravating and embarrassing situations. This meeting is to tell you all that it stops now. Since I see the people in this room more frequently, the bulk of the harassment comes from you. I have another meeting like this one scheduled in fifteen minutes and then two more tomorrow but these are for minor things, love notes and the like. It shouldn't be too bad. I figure I can take care of the first half of the problem by next week..." "First half!" Laguna choked out. "Who's to say," Nida asked, "that you aren't just being egotistical? Maybe you're paranoid." "That's a good point, you're probably overreacting," Quistis said, thinking. A sudden idea made her speak before she had really considered. "Raise your hand if you've NEVER wanted to have sex with Squall." There was an alarming lack of movement in the room. Seifer was looking at his shoes with great interest while Zell stared at a spider as if it held the meaning of life. Rinoa was still crying but her arms stayed firmly at her sides. Everyone found anything and everything to do while they DIDN'T look at Squall and DIDN'T raise their hands. In fact, only Kiros raised one sure hand into the air. Everyone, too embarrassed to look anywhere else, turned their eyes on him, looking for answers. "Er...I wasn't invited," he explained nervously. "I just came because I'm his assistant," he said, jabbing a thumb towards the President. Satisfied, they all returned to not looking at Squall. No one saw it, but Kiros was having a pretty hard time with all of this and kept looking at his employer as if he was a mutant. Laguna, for his part, wouldn't meet his gaze. The president was pretty certain the rest of the room would look at him the same way if they knew his particular relation to Squall... "Well," Quistis said, somewhat saddened, "that settles it. Almost everybody in this room has some sexual fantasy about Squall." Seifer grinned as the details of his came back to him. He was still thinking about how to get that torture rack back from the D District Prison when Squall's voice cut in on his fantasy. "Now that it's confirmed, I want to say again that it's all going to stop. I feel like a piece of meat..." "Meat," Zell mumbled and wiped a line of drool off his chin. The rest of the room also seemed very distracted by the word and had to force their eyes away from Squall's pants and back up to his face. "See! That's what I'm talking about! Why can't you leave me alone? What do I have to do to have some peace?" "For one thing," Seifer said, rising to his full height, "those pants are waaaay too tight. Wear something baggier..." Squall looked down at his pants as if noticing them for the first time. "Too tight?" "Oh!" Zell chimed in excitedly, "And can you stop walkin' that way? You know, with your hips swiveling?" "Hips?" And suddenly, the room was full of helpful suggestions. Quistis clapped her hands together happily. "Cut your hair too! Every time I see it I want to touch it, so it has to go! Better yet, shave it all off!" "Never ever smile again," Rinoa contributed, still sobbing. "Um, could you make your voice less like smoky sex?" Nida suggested, very much so wanting to help. "And you'll have to wear contacts to make your eyes less dreamy," Laguna added, nodding at his intelligence. Kiros suddenly felt ill... "Gunblades are just sexy in and of themselves, could you switch to something less phallic?" Cid stretched his arms wide to mimic the size and shape of the weapon. "That might help some..." "The damn belts!" Irvine shouted, pointing at the offending, somehow erotic accessories. "Can't we keep the belts?" Zell whined. "No, no, the belts have to go," Seifer said sadly, shaking his head. "I just want to tie him to the bed with them and fuck him raw, so they've got to go..." Most everyone in the room nodded, understanding Seifer's problem and sympathizing. Those belts had lost many of them a good night's sleep or two. Or thirty. "I don't suppose you could stoop over a little and talk with less authority?" Xu directed the question to the now seething SeeD commander. "I find authority very sexy and...you've just got it in spades. Power...ohhh." Squall took a deep breath. "So am I to understand that I have to change everything about myself to get you to leave me alone?" "Yes!" the room replied in unison, glad that he finally understood. "Can't you just try to learn a little self control?" his arms flailed for a minute and their was a room-wide thrill. He was just so damn hot when he was angry. He gave them "that" look and they tried to behave and actually considered his question for a minute. Self-control? Seifer shook his head and tried to imagine a world where he had that. It was a sad, boring place that he envisioned. A world where Squall walked around in tight leather pants like living, breathing sex and Seifer couldn't grab his ass or try to kiss him or anything! What a sad, sad place... Zell stared wide-eyed at Squall. He really did try to contain himself. But sometimes he just had to hug the guy. And he usually kept his hands from roaming around too much. Just a little feel here and there. Did he really have to change? Quistis thought about whips. And then Quistis thought about Squall. Finally, she thought about whips AND Squall together and decided that self- control was boring. Xu was very good at self-control and decided that she would hit on Squall less as soon as she could fit it into her schedule. Unfortunately, she was booked for weeks and weeks. Years really. Busy, busy, busy! Nida was still stuck on the word "meat" and really hadn't heard anything Squall had said since he had been too focused on the fact that Squall's breathy voice always sounded like he was on the brink of an orgasm. And what did Squall sound like when he had an orgasm? Did he just scream or did he stifle? Was whimpering involved? Nida decided to find out as soon as he had finished all of his duties and chores and could be alone with the Commander without interfering with operations... Irvine figured he was already the very model of self-control. The way he saw it, he hadn't even slept with Squall yet, so that meant he was being good. He decided to treat himself to a little "congratulations sex" to reward himself for his self-control... Laguna didn't know what else he could do since he already tried everything he could do to not hit on Squall. Making sexual advances towards one's children just didn't go over well. He only slipped up every once in awhile! It looked like he was going to have to stop talking to Squall entirely... Cid was trying not to think about Gunblades... Rinoa was hurt and angry. Just because she had gotten a little...frisky...after their first kiss, didn't entitle Squall to treat her like this. He had called her a nympho and worse when she had proudly shown him her collection of "toys" and she really thought she deserved a bit more respect than that. Suggest a giant orgy to a guy and they get all icy on you. All things considered, she was a paragon of self-control since the threesome she wanted with Seifer hadn't happened yet... Squall waited for a time while they thought then said, "Well, can't you control yourselves?" "Nah," the group replied, unanimously. Squall looked like he might have a coronary. They were all more than willing to help him with that... "Seifer! Don't touch me!" "Sorry..." "Um, excuse me," Kiros piped up from beside Laguna. Once again, all eyes turned to him. "What I was wondering is, how many of you hit on people who are attached. You know, raise your hand if you've ever hit on someone who's in a relationship..." Seifer, Irvine and Rinoa raised their hands. "Ah ha!" Kiros said, somewhat excitedly. "Except for those three, the rest of your fan club has morals!" Only Rinoa took the time to be offended by that. Irvine was used to being called much worse and Seifer mistook it for a compliment. "What are you getting at, Kiros?" Quistis asked, suspiciously. "What I'm saying is, since most of you would leave him alone if he had someone, Squall would knock his problem down considerably if he had a steady boy..er...girl...er...companion!" Rinoa was more bitter than ever since she had almost been that "steady companion." She should have waited before showing him the butt-plug. That was probably what broke them up, she decided. "We could try again," she suggested with hope in her eyes. Squall turned white and backed up against a wall. "Or maybe not," Rinoa said, heartbroken. Laguna limped over to his son and hit him on the back. "Well, you've got the whole garden to pick from! Find yourself a 'companion' and you've almost got your problem solved. We can get Seifer and Irvine assassinated and I'm sure something can be done about Rinoa!" "The whole garden to pick from?" Xu asked with doubt in her voice. All eyes were on her. "I mean," she continued, "if Squall tries to find someone from the whole garden that he doesn't completely hate, who can actually bear to tolerate him, he's going to have to search for awhile..." "Tolerate me?" Squall parroted between clenched teeth. "Oh come on, Squall," Seifer consoled him under his breath, "you may be the sexiest thing anyone has every seen, but you're a bit of a prick." "He has a point," Laguna added in a confidential whisper. "I fail to see what's wrong with Squall dating around," Nida said, eyeing Squall hopefully, as if he might be the first date if he behaved extra- specially good. "Ah come on!" Irvine scoffed, "Can't you see the results already? He's already got half the garden in love with him! He starts dating around, we'll have the whole damn world chasing after his sweet ass!" Squall rubbed his temples but the rest of the room nodded in agreement. "What I suggest," Xu continued, "is that Squall pick someone to date from the group that already has the hots for him. That way he doesn't unwittingly attract anybody else since he's probably always going to wear skin-tight leather. If he's an item with someone, Squall will have a buffer to scare off the hordes." "Then the only thing that's left is for you to pick one of us who doesn't bother you as much as the others," Quistis added, trying to be helpful. And at her words, the room was bathed in silence while everyone turned expectant eyes on Squall. None of them even blinked. Somehow, this had all gotten out of hand. All he wanted was the opportunity to work without someone stretching out naked on top of his paperwork. He wanted to go to the shower like everybody else and not be groped. He wanted to walk into the cafeteria and sit down at a table without half the Garden coming to join him. Why couldn't he go anywhere without being followed by a squad of drooling admirers? Squall was tired of come-ons and love notes and wandering eyes and hands! And in order for him to eliminate 70% of the worst of his problem, he was going to have to start up a relationship? And there was even the possibility that the rest of his "fan club" would go away too, once the news spread far and wide that he was attached. So he had to pick. He cast steel-grey eyes around the room and almost vomited from the dedication and hope on each face. Why oh why couldn't they all like Irvine? "Hey, Irvine's pretty! Why not hit on him?" Squall said, echoing his thoughts. "Been there." "Done that..." "Easy lay." "Open port to every sailor in the fleet..." "I actually PREFER a challenge..." "You know, he's a screamer..." "Oh, and he talks in his sleep...about Squall actually..." "Really? It was Seifer with me..." "Hah! He was all about Zell! An' he snored!" "We were drunk and he was easy..." Everyone turned to stare at Kiros who was unaware of the attention. He blanched when he finally noticed. "What? I'm human too..." "Irvine, but not Squall?" Laguna asked his assistant, sincerely surprised. "I..er..like guns," was the only explanation they got. Kiros blushed and wouldn't look at Laguna who was beginning to wonder if his fetish for firearms extended to machineguns. "Stop stalling," Seifer demanded, pinning Squall with a menacing look. "You either make yourself ugly or pick somebody already!" A million scenarios ran through Squall's mind. The meanest one was picking Selphie and hiding behind her forever. Only, he couldn't torture her that way since she was the only friend he had who hadn't grabbed his ass yet. So he sighed internally and weighed his options. And the candidates were... Zell? Too hyper and too eager. Irvine? Too easy. Cid? Too old. And he was married. Rinoa? The words "butt plug" suddenly echoed through his mind. He shuddered and quickly moved on. Quistis? Not too bad. Well-built, pretty, clever. He thought about it for a minute, remembered the whips, and kept going. Xu? All in all, too formal. Nida? Too...too...Well, actually, there was nothing special about Nida at all. Maybe too straight-laced and obedient. Next. Seifer? Gorgeous. But just too evil, arrogant, smug, obnoxious, arrogant, controlling, (deep breath) manipulative, evil, vindictive, evil, arrogant, snobby, evil. That about covered it. All that was left was... Laguna? Too related...wait a minute. An idea suddenly occurred to Squall. "Hey, um, dad? What do YOU think, dad?" he said, turning to the older man, trying to sound innocent and casual. He looked at Laguna with big doe- eyes, clasped his hands together by his cheek and smiled. "Urk?" was all the Laguna got out before the room exploded in loud accusations. "You're his father! And you've got the hots for him?" "That's even too kinky for me," Rinoa added in a holier than thou tone. "Wrong, wrong, wrong!" "You're right, Zell. I don't even think it's legal!" "Shut up, Nida!" "You shut up, you big, blonde idiot! It's NOT legal!" "Did you know about this, Kiros?" "Urk." "I thought so!" "Quistis, focus on the issue at hand..." "The 'issue' is that this man wants to fuck his own son when I haven't even gotten to! Tell him to wait his turn! I'm fuckin' him first!" "We don't have to be vulgar, Irvine! And who says you're first?" "I do!" "Well you're not! I was his instructor, so I get first dibs!" "Ha! He's MY Knight! I get him first!" "Why don't you let him pick for himself!" "Yeah, like he'd choose you, Chicken-Wuss!" "OH! Like YOUR chances are any better! You're a traitor!" "And you're a bore! And you can't pilot the Garden for shit! Squall is MINE!" "Squall is not property!" "So the pervert speaks! He's your son! You stay out of this and bow your head in shame for breaking several laws!!" Squall watched all of this with amazing calm considering the circumstances. Things were looking up; he could see the light at the end of the tunnel. But first he needed their attention. He knew just the trick... Squall cocked one hip to the side and tossed his hair dramatically and the room was instantly silent again, each occupant enthralled. What shampoo did he use? How did he even MOVE in those pants? What would it take to get him out of them? "Meat," Zell mumbled... "Uh-huh," the room at large agreed, heads nodding. "It's settled," Squall said, ignoring their attention and grinning. "I pick Laguna." he was almost certain that even Seifer, Irvine and Rinoa would back off in the face of incest. Laguna fainted. And the commotion sounded like the Lunar Cry all over again. "But why? WHY!" "Don't feel bad, Chicken, there's always Irvine..." Squall smiled, perhaps things would settle down. He almost got giddy thinking about all the paperwork he'd finish. He shuddered in anticipation. Paperwork....ahhhhh... There was nothing left to do. The room cleared out, shuffling feet and bowed heads. Only Squall and the barely conscious Laguna remained behind in the now peaceful, silent room. Laguna sat up startled when the door closed firmly behind a crying Rinoa ("Why couldn't you be more adventurous, Squall! Toys bring the romance!"). The president looked happy and oblivious for a moment before he looked up, saw his gorgeous son, and remembered why he fainted in the first place. Squall got his father a glass of water and helped him to the couch. "I'm going to die," Laguna mumbled over the rim of the glass. "It's not so bad," Squall said, feeling better than he had in awhile. The looks of disgust on their faces....It gave him hope. He saw blissful days ahead of him. No ass-grabbing, no fear of reaching for soap... "Er, so...what does all this mean?" Laguna questioned, still hiding behind his drink. "Well," Squall considered, "it means that I have a charade of an incestuous relationship with my father and that I get left alone..." "That's all well and good for you!" Laguna moaned. "What about me? Everybody knows I'm your father now and that I...I...you know." "Laguna," Squall said, trying to keep the amusement out of his voice. "Do you really care what they think?" "Yes! I mean, I have a position to uphold and friends. Oh God! Kiros! What is he going to say? And Ward! Well, Ward never has anything to say, but he can look really, really disapproving! And the news is going to spread like wildfire. Even if they didn't think I was sleeping with you, they'd know that I wanted to! It even feels wrong saying it! There's a special place in hell, I'm telling you. It says 'Laguna' on it and it's waiting for me since that's my name and all. And what would your mother think? I just know that...." Squall had stopped listening after the first sentence, but that didn't stop Laguna. His chattering stretched on and on so Squall let his mind wander. Trying to talk to the elderly always led to this sort of thing. Finally, he had to interrupt. He waited for a small pause in the monologue and said, "Would it make things better if we were actually sleeping together?" "And the torture in hell! I've read about this! It's horrible! Worse than what they do to murdere...what did you say?" "I said 'would it make things better if we were actually sleeping together?"' "Oh." "Well?" "Let me get this straight. Are you saying you...you...want to?" "Just answer the question, Laguna." He bit his lip and pushed a lock of hair behind his ear. "Well," he began, "I suppose at least I'd have something to distract me from the gossip." "Then it's settled," Squall proclaimed before leaning in for a kiss. A kiss that went on for longer than either man had anticipated (and Laguna had only prayed for). "Wow," Laguna breathed after their lips finally separated then added, "Kiros is gonna be pissed." Squall smiled, and somewhere, Kiros sneezed. "Bless you," Irvine said and pulled the older man close, kissing his forehead. Kiros sighed into his shoulder and decided that, even though they weren't as cool as machine guns, rifles weren't too bad either. ~end~ Epilogue: "You mean he picked Laguna? And Sir Laguna is his father?" "Yep," Seifer answered, still pouting about the whole thing internally. "Damn," Selphie said, viciously biting into a hotdog, "I was hoping the 'friend' trick would work. You know, put him at ease with me while all the rest of you were drooling all over him? Now I'm gonna have to spread myself out naked on his desk." "Don't try it, sweetheart," Quistis said matter-of-factly, "it doesn't work." Everyone at the table nodded sadly. There was a moment of shared silence and wretchedness, then: "Bastard," the dejected bunch all said in unison. "Bless you," Laguna said worriedly and offered his son a handkerchief. "Thanks," was Squall's only reply right before he leaned in for another kiss and let his fingers do the talking.... A LETTER FROM AN OREGON FARM KID, NOW AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORP RECRUIT DEPOT Dear Ma and Pa, I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer that the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad,there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon,etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food. But tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route" marches, which the Platoon Sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A "route" march is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat. The Sergeant is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none. This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you, like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes. Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. He joined up the same time as me. But I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and weighs near 300 pounds dry. Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in. Your loving daughter, Gail Dear Terri: I know the counsellor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says... "There's no one like you, Terri." I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at the Rainbow Room and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, Terri, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits you wouldn't believe and an ass like a tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch being blown by this coed, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so surface. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes. But you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Terri? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little. Later, after I'd tossed her about a quart of throat yoghurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Terri, to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you, baby. Jesus, Terri, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you. Do you remember Carol, that single mum we met at Mt. Sinai Baptist Church? Well, she drops by last week with a pan of lasagne. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we have a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're fucking in our old bedroom. And this broad's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's not hung up about God and her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad too. 'Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Terri ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex aid." (Some of this I thought about later.) You know what I mean? What happened to our spontaneity? You get so caught up in the routine of a marriage and you just lose sight of each other. And then you lose yourself. That's the saddest part of all for me. But I keep thinking we can get it back. I know we can, because I only want this stuff with you. Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Shannon's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders. She's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general. (She's pulling for us to get back together, Terri. She really is.) So we're drinking in the hot tub and talking about happier times. Here's this hot girl with the same DNA as you although, let's face it, she got an extra helping of the sexy gene and all I can do is think of how much she looks like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out Shannon's really into the whole anal thing and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fuelled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside the steaming hot Dutch oven of your sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It's true, baby. In your heart you know it. Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh? I think we can. I keep thinking that I think if you'd just try it, I wouldn't have to pressure you so much. Because who needs all that bitterness, Terri? It just tears us apart. And I can't be apart from you. Because I love you, God help me but I do. -- Regards, L I've never had any cherished dreams or ambitions. I don't aspire to any career or profession in the future. That is, unless you consider hoping to one day be my Cousin's equal at the Art, I've come to love an ambition. So far, in the first fourteen years of my life, things have always happened as they've needed to. If we needed food, we found food. If we needed shelter, we found shelter. If we needed to survive the odds, we found away to do so. And things will probably always continue in this manner. And for this reason, I've never cared whether I got into an accident or something and died. For, besides my Uncle, his family, and the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts... I have nothing or need nothing. I wrote that in an essay for school nearly two years ago and predictably, the teacher yelled at me and told me to take the assignment seriously. The sad thing was... I had. http://Trooper1023.tripod.com/ My Writer's Block Lists by Archone I've gotten some praise for my fanfics(I'd love to receive more, actually. Everyone loves having their egos stroked). In my time with RPGClassics, I've honed my writing style and literary abilities, learned the art of creating a world with words, met some wonderful people online, not to mention receiving lots of help with RPGs... But I sometimes have problems with my stories. Not in writing them, but in conceiving them. I use conceive with a definate intention. I liken the writing process to the birthing process. Both are acts of creation. Both can be painful to accomplish. And you can't rush either one. But just as women today can receive assistance in conceiving a child, I find there are ways to short circuit the difficult process of conceiving a story concept. The best, I find, is my writer's block lists. I have two, thus far. I'll be listing them at the bottom of this article. Feel free to use them, or create your own. The first list was intended to create characters. Characters are what stories are all about. Without good characters, you have nothing, whether the story is a fanfic, comic, TV show, or RPG. Would Final Fantasy VII have been nearly as good, without the villainous Sephiroth, the saintly Aeris, or the brain damaged Cloud? Would Terranigma have been as much fun without the irrepressible Ark? Where would Phantasy Star IV have been without Chaz, Rika, and Alys? The second list is for plots. When I write a fanfic, I'm using previously established characters. But unless I'm doing a novelization, I don't have a basic outline to draw on. In my latest story-Glorious Eyes, a Faxanadu fanfic-I drew a blank. I had to do a FX story to keep my promise, but I didn't know what to write! Enter the Writer's Block Lists. I took my ten sided dice, and rolled, once, twice. 94! What's 94? Rejuvenate. Hhhmmm, I thought. A story in which the hero(since I'm using a first person perspective, I need never name him) is healed, somehow. Roll again! 37-Faithless! Faithless? Perhaps the healing was spiritual. Did a guru have to restore his lagging faith? Or a description of what happens when the character "dies" in the game? Never mind that. Third time's a charm. 54...Heroinne? A female character healed his spirit? Gurus in the game were all male. Hmm. Um. Oh! A romance? Perhaps the hero has a brief affair with a female elf? And the result is there for all to see. So I'm offering my lists to all. Use them as is, or replace the words with your own- preferably strong words, to evoke a definate response within your creative centers. Just roll three times, and use the chosen words as inspiration for creating a character or plot. Writer's Block List I(Characters) 01:King 02:Queen 03:Ace 04:Joker 05:Master 06:Mistress 07:Slave 08:Witch 09:Wizard 10:Sniper 11:Gunsel 12:Gunfighter 13:Gundam 14:Bioweapon 15:Armor 16:Guns 17:Firearms 18:Weapons 19:Swords 20:Knives 21:Axes 22:Flails 23:Bullets 24:Arrows 25:Shields 26:Love 27:Hate 28:Compassion 29:Pity 30:Sorrow 31:Grief 32:Loneliness 33:Fear 34:Confidence 35:Freedom 36:Solitude 37:Bondage 38:Emancipation 39:Drugs 40:Sober 41:Alcohol 42:Drunk 43:Murder 44:Rape 45:Thief 46:Fighter 47:Boxer 48:Kickboxer 49:Karateka 50:Gungfu 51:Aikidoka 52:Kendoka 53:Swashbuckler 54:Swordsman 55:Cavalry 56:Reinforcements 57:Thinker 58:Books 59:Restitution 60:Repayment 61:Wailing 62:Crying 63:Screaming 64:Howling 65:Moaning 66:Begging 67:Pleading 68:Mourning 69:Day 70:Night 71:Darkness 72:Light 73:Twilight 74:Shadow 75:Thug 76:Bully 77:Warrior 78;Lover 79:Politician 80:Mafia 81:Ghetto 82:Gangster 83:Whore 84:Addict 85:Infant 86:Juvenile 87:Teenager 88:Punk 89:Adult 90:Mature 91:Elderly 92:Deceased 93:Undead 94:Colt 95:Horse 96:Smith 97:Ruger 98:Nazi 99:Samurai 00:Knight Writer's Block List II(Plots) 01:Run 02:Hide 03:Climb 04:Fly 05:Fight 06:Love 07:Rage 08:Anger 09:Passion 10:Beg 11:Threaten 12:Jump 13:Dodge 14:Fire 15:Freeze 16:Look 17:Search 18:Turn 19:Twist 20:Burn 21:Ache 22:Pain 23:Sneeze 24:Sicken 25:Overwhelm 26:Underwhelm 27:Overestimate 28:Underestimate 29:Betray 30:Trust 31:Break 32:Blast 33:Curse 34:Bless 35:Religion 36:Faith 37:Faithless 38:Judge 39:Repent 40:Sin 41:Lost 42:Found 43:Portray 44:Write 45:Draw 46:Color 47:Picture 48:Cryptic 49:Guileless 50:Nerve 51:Coward 52:Brave 53:Hero 54:Heroinne 55:Villain 56:Villainess 57:Magic 58:Science 59:Illusion 60:Reality 61:Damned 62:Elevated 63:Charity 64:Greed 65:Selfishness 66:Empathy 67:Repayment 68:Renege 69:Impoverish 70:Enrichen 71:Justify 72:Excuse 73:Responsibility 74:Attack 75:Defend 76:Ambush 77:Assault 78:Sneak 79:Brazen 80:Open 81:Close 82:Try 83:Fail 84:Succeed 85:Transform 86:Remain 87:Leave 88:Depart 89:Altar 90:Live 91:Die 92:Survive 93:Sicken 94:Rejuvenate 95:Befriend 96:Embitter 97:Enmity 98:Joyous 99:Relax 00:Tense he Mazrim Method: Six Easy Steps to Writing Great Fanfiction So, you want to write some Fanfiction, huh? And you can't seem to find any good ideas, or else you wouldn't have clicked on that link on the main page. Unless you're just curious. Curiosity is all right too, hey, it gives the Fanfiction section of the site more hits! :P Anyway, you came here to learn how to write fanfiction. Fanfiction is in fact quite different from normal writing, in that you hardly have to do any development of characters. One can say "Magus" or "Aeris" in their story and not need to explain anything about who that character is. Chances are, the people who will be reading Chrono Trigger Fanfiction or Final Fantasy 7 Fanfiction will have already beaten those games, or at least played them far enough to be interested in others' renditions of Magus and Aeris. A beginning plotline, as well, is usually provided by the designers of the game that the fanfic is based on, since most fanfiction starts directly at the end of a game or even in the middle of it (ex. the many game "novelizations" being made out there). So, mostly what matters to a good fanfiction writer is the ability to evoke strongly images and feelings in the minds of the readers, to make them feel that they are really there, in the story. Either that, or the good writer must be able to make the reader laugh out loud while reading the fanfic; I'm not sure which is harder. Here's the Mazrim Method for Writing Fanfiction: Step One: Make a list of your five favorite RPGs at that specific point in time.. Then, pick number two. This is the game that you can write a fanfic about. It's high enough so that you actually like it a lot, but not so high that you try to pass off everything in the game as rigid fact. That brings me to one of Mazrim's major Do Nots for writing fanfiction. Don't stick word for word, little thatched house for little thatched house, to the game! Some of the worst fanfiction that I've ever read came not from the fact that they were written poorly, nor from the fact that they were too gory or lemon-y. Rather, their badness came from the fact that they spent way too much time trying to get everything about the game exactly right. Some extreme fanfiction authors will, without trying to be funny, use "HP" or "MP" in their stories! More than once, I've read, "Oh no, I'm all out of MP! I can't cast Fire3!" Now, while this may sound quite humorous, be aware that the author isn't trying to be funny! Honestly, would you hear any realistic person say something like this? Or, less extreme, when someone uses the name of something like "The Land of Summoned Monsters," to describe where Rydia and the "Espers" live. It is quite obvious that this is the result of a poor translation error: Can you imagine a real group of people using the term "Land of Summoned Monsters" to describe a place where mythical beasts roam? Think of something more interesting, like "The Heavens Underground," or something else, my creative mind isn't working today. And nothing peeves me off more than if an author borrows a somewhat contrived plot device from a game (can anyone say FF8?) and uses it in their story to make it more like the game. DON'T DO THAT! It's evil and horrible and calamitous and disgusting to deny your own talent like that. Anyway, just write what comes naturally to you. Don't steal too much from the plots from Final Fantasy or wherever. Remember: The Game Plots and Characters Are not Meant to Be Walls; They Are Only the Beginning... Anyway... Step Two: Take that RPG that you picked before, and think about a few things that you really liked about the plot of that RPG. Maybe there were specific characters, places, believable villains, relationships between characters, philosophical ideas, or some other aspects of the game that you really admired and enjoyed. For example, in Final Fantasy IV, I was really interested in how Kain lost his mind periodically, but when he was "free," he really tried to be a good person. Or how Cecil almost mirrored Kain in that he had demons of his own, but managed to purge them. Or about the effects on Edge when he lost his parents...Or whether Rydia would rather live with those monsters who brought her up or humans... Hence, I came up with the beginning plot and characters for my story, "Feral Wind." Step Three: Choose a starting point. Do you want to start directly after the game? One hundred years after the game? During the game? Many years before the game? This is entirely your preference. I prefer to have my fanfics start a few years to a decade after the game's end, since that way I'm not so constricted in choices of the plot, but I still have a bit of a stepping stone to base my fanfics around. With longer timespans, you can insert your own little plot events, which is sometimes fun, depending on the kind of writer you are. So sorry, but you'll have to figure this step out on your own. Step Four: Think. How can you present the ideas that you chose from before effectively starting from this point? Where will you base the story? Who will be the main character(s)? What will they be doing? Why? What do you want them to do in the future? How do you think the story will unfold in the next few paragraphs/pages? Will the story be from a single point of view, or multiple points of view? You might want to go back to Step Three and change your setting around a bit to match up with your ideas. If you easily forget things, you might want to write some of your thoughts down on pieces of paper or in your favorite word processing program. You don't have to plan too much, just enough so that you can get your story going. Once you start writing, it will be amazing how quickly you can come up with new ideas. Continue doing this until you find that you can't stand another minute without writing down your ideas for a story (or at least feel confident that your idea will make an interesting, engaging story), and then proceed to the next step... Step Five: Write! Let yourself be taken in by your story...I don't want to say too much here since then you'll think too much about the writing process, but if there is any advice that I can give you, it's to not be too afraid of changing around your ideas, and not to be afraid of diverging from the settings and ideas of the game. As I said before, the game settings aren't supposed to be walls, but instead beginnings. It may happen that after you've written a page of your fanfic, you realize, "Oh, crap! What I was planning ISN'T good after all, at least not in the vein that I'm writing in!" Well, then screw the plans. If you are on a roll in your writing, that's MUCH MUCH more important to a good fanfic. Don't stop to think, "Oh no, this is bad, I'm going away from my plans." Just write. Once you're maybe half done, or you reach that first writers' block that all writers encounter at least a third of the way into their story, you can start thinking about what you want to say next, or whether you want to change anything that you wrote before. Basically, do whatever you think needs to be done in order to turn your ideas into a well-written, finished piece of work. Step Six: Ah, the last and final step. After finishing your fanfic, I'll bet you're pretty proud. Well, you should be! It's hard work to create a great piece of writing. However, you're not done yet. After you're done partying, eating pizza and drinking soda, go back to your computer screen and scroll up to the beginning of your story. Then, read it carefully, from start to finish. If you encounter any mechanical or spelling errors, fix them immediately. If, while you read or after you read, you realize that you've made a continuity error (you say that something is one way at the beginning of the story and a different way at the end of the story), then you should fix it the best that you can. Also, if you don't like the look of anything that you've written, change it so that it looks right to you. The writer is usually correct about his own work. Step Seven: Send in your fanfic! You can send your fanfic to me at macallister@csi.com, and if you've followed all of these directions at least partially, I'm sure that your fanfic will be accepted into the RPGClassics Fanfiction Archive. Also, if you want to send a fanfic in just for editing or proofreading, or even if you just want to talk about fanfiction or writing in general, send me a message. While I don't check my mail often enough, I'll happily give you a response. If you want to have a more fluid conversation, my ICQ # is 71143993. Thanks! -Mazrim Taim Librarian of the RPGClassics Fanfiction Archive, Whimsical Philosopher, He-Who-Frolicks-Through-Fields-Of-Daisies-In-Midsummer's-Eve Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a few people who did.... I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I prefer playing with men's balls." My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter. Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had! This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true story.......We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard! Now, didn't that feel good? Pass it on to someone you know needs a laugh, we all do from time to time... The Peace of the Ten-Year-Olds A Noir fanfic by hkmiller 2 March 2004 - prereader draft 15 March 2004 - FFML draft The characters of Noir were created by Ryoe Tsukimura and Yoko Kikuchi, and are copyrighted by A.D.Vision, Inc. in the USA and Ryoe Tsukimura / Bee Train / Victor Entertainment in Japan. No disrespect intended by my unlicensed usage. This is a continuation, so it contains spoilers for the entire series, as well as mild shoujo-ai and not-so-mild violence. Thanks to pre-readers Michael A. Chase and Zorknot, without whom this fanfic would not be nearly whatever it is. (But blame me, not them, for its shortcomings.) - - - - - - - - - - The old man slumped against the dank stone wall, the chains on his wrists holding him upright. A thin man, medium height, with a full, bushy beard, his face was marred by the bruises surrounding his left eye. His naked chest was a mass of bruises and cuts. The pain fooled you, Boris Sarkhovsky thought. The throbbing ache he now felt constantly seemed as bad as it could get, only to be proven wrong by the white-hot, searing agony each time the barbed whip struck. His eyes cleared momentarily, and he saw a thin, red stream of blood on the floor, flowing out through an ancient stone drain. "You WILL tell me, old man, now or later!" Boris could no longer see his tormentor clearly, in the dim light filtering into this dungeon from somewhere above, but he could still hear the oily hate in that voice. The owner of that voice was furious that anyone else had the gall to go on living without his leave. "How long will you hold out when we begin smashing your granddaughters' faces with a sledge hammer? The last thing their eyes see in this world will be your obstinate refusal to save them." - - - - - - - - - - Kirika Yuumura woke to the sound of gunshots. She felt the warm body behind her tense up. She released Mireille's encircling arm, which she found she'd been clutching to the bandages over her stomach wound. Sweeping the wool blankets off them both, she got to her feet quickly, even as her head turned, seeking the direction from which the shots had come. "Over there, I think," Mireille whispered as the blonde pointed. "Through those trees. Not more than a few hundred meters." "Ummn," Kirika murmured, nodding agreement, brushing her untidy mop of dark hair out of her eyes. Kirika and Mireille ran lightly over the dewy grass to the nearest stretch of wood. Behind them, the morning sunlight caught Mireille's rented Range Rover as it filtered through the trees. In this stretch of the Pyrenees, people were far and few between, so they'd been forced to camp when Mireille proved too exhausted to drive farther. Kirika saw no sign that any human had visited this small clearing in many years. Mireille had her gun, Kirika noted with relief, held carefully, pointing up. Kirika did not waste time wishing she still had hers. Inside the wood, each took turns covering the other's advance as they crept from tree to rock to bush in near-total silence, both alert for hand-signals from the other. Reaching the edge of another clearing, Kirika dropped to the ground and peered through a shrub while Mireille watched her carefully from behind a nearby tree, where Mireille's lighter hair would not be visible from whatever lay beyond. Kirika's eyes widened. It was a small clearing, with a deep, wooded ravine on her right, more forest on the far side and to her left. A Toyota Land Cruiser sat on a dirt track, just inside the woods to her left. Five men in dark suits stood in the clearing, two keeping watch while the others the dirty work. One was just pushing a dead male body, thirty-something, into the ravine while the other was hefting the corpse of a woman of about the same age. A fifth man was video-taping the dumping of the bodies. Two young girls, huddled on the ground in terror, sniffled, their feet tied together to prevent escape, mouths gagged. One clutched a doll of some sort. For just a moment, Kirika saw another girl, a blonde, appear in their place. Kirika blinked, and the illusion disappeared. "Dump their mother after the father. Once you're sure the tape's okay, we'll tie the kids back up and leave. The boss wants them done slowly, with his 'client' watching," one of the men keeping watch said gruffly. Kirika glanced back at Mireille, only to see her own horror echoed there. Peering forward again, Kirika gave Mireille a quick series of left-handed signals: 'five total', your two are 'there' and 'there', 'go on two'. Kirika took one last deep breath and darted from concealment, running in a crouch straight for the nearest guard. Mireille's first shot dropped that same watchman just as Kirika reached him. Diving, Kirika caught the dropped gun and somersaulted twice, twisting to the side as she did so. Two shots spurted into the dirt bare inches to her right. Kirika performed a shoulder roll to get to her feet in one motion just as Mireille's third shot finally downed the second watchman. Spinning and crouching, Kirika fired two quick shots and dropped the two men who'd been carrying bodies. That made four down. Unfortunately, Kirika's gun clicked on an empty chamber for the fifth and last man. But the gun had good balance by its feel; Kirika flipped it around, without looking, so that she held it by the barrel, and threw. The heavy barrel hit the cameraman on one temple, stunning him. Kirika followed right behind it without waiting for it to hit. Behind and to one side of the cameraman, she kicked the back of his right knee, dropping the man to his knees, while rifling through his camerabag with her left hand. Ah, the recharge cord. Kirika flipped it around the cameraman's throat and caught the other end in her right hand, then tightened and twisted, using her weight for extra leverage. Grimacing at the pain from her abdomen, Kirika unholstered the cameraman's unused gun and got slowly to her feet, alert for any movement. Mireille emerged from the wood, poised to act. Without a word, the two women moved slowly into a back-to-back position, careful never to obstruct the other's line of sight. They circled the clearing, carefully checking the bodies to make sure all five were dead. As they passed the ravine, Kirika looked down into it. A near-vertical cliff dropped two hundred feet straight down to a rushing river. There was no sign of either body. Just above the torrent, a small piece of cloth, the same yellow as the woman's dress, flapped, caught on a root or a rock. Finally they deemed it safe, at least for now. Mireille kneeled, using her unbandaged leg, and removed the girls' gags. "Are you all right?" Mireille asked in French. When neither showed any sign of comprehension, Mireille repeated it in English. The two girls were of an age, and dressed similarly, but obviously not related. One was oriental and dark-skinned, probably from South-East Asia, and a few inches the shorter of the two. The other looked to be from northern India or Pakistan, and was as tall as Kirika, though even thinner. Both wore American-made bluejeans, casual tops showing a bit of bare midriff, and designer running shoes. "We're fine," replied the Indian girl in an American accent. "But what about Mom and Dad?" she asked urgently. Kirika shook her head sadly. "There's nothing we can do. Their bodies have been swept down the river. I'm sorry." Both girls looked bleak and somber at that, but neither started to cry, which Mireille thought strange. They stood up, holding hands, both eyeing their rescuers uncertainly. The Indian-looking girl suppressed a giggle as she threw a glance at Kirika, earning her an elbow to the ribs from her frowning companion. Ignoring this, the Indian girl asked, "Do you two always rescue damsels in distress while dressed like that? Doesn't it get cold?" Kirika looked down at herself blankly, then up at Mireille. Both were still dressed in exactly what they'd worn to sleep the night before: Kirika in nothing but shiny gold briefs (part of the ceremonial outfit she'd donned yesterday), plus the bandage over her stomach. Mireille wore only a black bra and panties, plus bandages wrapped around her right thigh and right upper arm. Mireille just rolled her eyes. "Yes, we make six impossible rescues every day before breakfast, dressed in our underwear. Now, you can call me Mary, and her Carrie; what shall we call the two of you?" The Indian girl spoke first. "I'm Aditi Sarkhovsky." "And I'm Tati Sarkhovsky," added the Asian girl. "We're ten." Mireille asked, "Do you know if there are any more of those men around? Or if any more of them are coming?" The two girls just grinned at each other, in what looked for all the world like glee, before the words started coming, the girls interrupting each other in their excitement. "The car dropped two more men off just a little bit before we stopped, scouts or lookouts!" "Their car has a radio in it, and they were probably supposed to call their boss when they were finished here! Or he could call them!" "And the boss's hideout can't be very far away; it took us less than an hour to get here, on that bumpy dirt road!" "There's more men at the hideout! At least another ten or twelve!" "And he's got Grandfather! You've got to rescue him before they get the secret information out of him!" Without a word, Kirika nodded to Mireille, then ghosted into the woods at a trot, collecting a second dropped gun in passing. "Could you two PLEASE keep it to a whisper? I'll stay here to guard you. Now, as soon as I've untied you, I want you to go hide in that big bush over there, okay? And BE QUIET." - - - - - - - - - - Making her way through the trees parallel to the dirt track, alert for any sound, Kirika thought about her stomach wound. It was starting to hurt again, and it didn't look like they'd get any medical attention for quite a while yet. Untreated stomach wounds could be very dangerous, Kirika knew. Without quite knowing why, Kirika's eyes started to catalog the vegetation around her. These woods were thick, not alpine, with lots of vines running up the tree trunks. Roots and mushrooms peered out from under the fallen leaves. There! The bark of that shrub would do. Without stopping, Kirika stooped to peel some off, then put it in her mouth and started chewing it, careful not to swallow. It tasted awful. She looked at the brown stain on her hand thoughtfully, then began rubbing it across her face, chest, and legs in broad streaks. No sign of the lookouts; Kirika circled around, crossing the dirt track and starting back on the other side. After going just a short way, she noticed that she could glimpse Mireille's Range Rover through the trees, still exactly where they'd parked it last night after leaving the Manor, too exhausted to go on. The lookouts would definitely have noticed that, so Kirika turned in that direction and slowed, moving more stealthily. - - - - - - - - - - "So you're both adopted? And you were mostly raised by your grandfather?" Mireille asked, summarizing what they'd just told her. She stood crouched behind a tree next to the girls, her eyes constantly searching the wood. Javanese and Punjabi by origin, Mireille thought, raised in Russia and America. "Mother and Father worked most of the time. They traveled a lot, too. I think they only adopted us because Grandpa liked us, and they thought we'd be cheap company for him," the Javanese girl, Tati, remarked quietly. Both girls were pretty thin, Mireille saw, but seemed well- muscled for their age, as if they were used to playing outdoors a lot. Both girls had their hair cut the same, short bangs in front and a shoulder-length pigtail behind. Their doll wasn't anything like her own had been, Mireille noted absently. It was a poseable plastic figure, like a Barbie, but dressed in a green t-shirt, suspenders, and hiking boots, with twin holsters at its hips. What kind of little girls played with a doll like that? "And what does your grandfather know, that this 'boss' is so eager to get out of him? What is your grandfather's job?" "Grandpa is a priest, Russian Orthodox," Aditi said indignantly, raising her voice slightly. "He's never hurt anyone!" Mireille gestured to her to keep it down. "And this boss? Who is he?" "I didn't understand that part. He's a 'You-Skal' something..." "You-Skal-Dune," Tati clarified. "But the other ones don't like him 'cause he's too violent. And the people who aren't 'You-Skal-Dune' don't like him either." "Euskaldun?" Mireille asked, recognizing the Basques' name for themselves. That would make sense for a Basque terrorist group to have a hideout just over the border in France, but still well hidden in the Pyrenees. But what DID they want with the girls' grandfather? Well, it had nothing to do with her or Kirika; they'd just drop off the girls at a police station and be on their way, as soon as Kirika finished the two lookouts. - - - - - - - - - - Kirika saw ruefully that she was too late. The Range Rover's hood was up; clearly they'd disabled the engine. One of the men was searching their scant possessions; the other was just disappearing into the trees, moving carefully in Mireille's direction with gun ready. Neither of Kirika's guns were silenced. The man would turn back if she fired. She emptied her first gun at the nearer man, then dropped it and fled back into the woods, grimacing. Certainly the gun was unfamiliar, but even so, it must have been very badly maintained. When the first two shots were so far off, she'd corrected her aim, but still only managed to hit her target twice, once in an arm and once in a leg. After crashing through brush deliberately for twenty meters, Kirika stopped. This tree looked good; it would appear unclimbable to those men. She would have to get very close; she dare not trust the second gun at long range. Her briefs would serve as a good decoy; they were shiny enough. Kirika arranged her briefs so they were just visible through a pile of leaves, then started climbing. It was difficult with the gun, but she could climb anything offering finger- and toe-nail-holds. She fired her gun once on the way up, just to make sure the men were still headed in her direction. From above, unmoving, she watched the two thugs approach, one limping and cursing, both wary, eyes sweeping the terrain. She saw the one spot her briefs and point, then both carefully advance. They fired in unison into the pile of leaves, then advanced more confidently. Kirika judged that the man she hadn't hit had the more accurate gun, and it was a Beretta M1934 like her own. Kirika waited until the two were directly below her, then let herself fall, feet first, silently. She came down balanced on one foot on top of her target's head, but off-center so her weight would force the head sharply sideways. As she hit, she emptied her second gun into the limping man, correcting after each shot. As soon as she heard her landing point's neck snap, she went limp again, falling atop the man so his body would cushion her fall and she wouldn't break or sprain an ankle. After checking both men, she retrieved her briefs and the Beretta, then rejoined Mireille and the girls. - - - - - - - - - - The Range Rover wouldn't start. Mireille kept turning the key and pressing the accelerator. Kirika looked at the engine, but nothing came to her. It seemed she'd never been trained on car engines, and Mireille knew nothing about them either. They'd have to take the villains' Toyota to get out of here, which presented a further problem. "The track it's sitting on isn't shown on our maps," Kirika noted. "And we can't drive it here through the trees." "We just have to backtrack. We're bound to hit a meadow or something, then we can angle back to the way we came in!" Mireille, now fully dressed in her red blouse and black leather slit mini-skirt, set about gathering her scattered possessions. Kirika finished donning the rest of her golden Greecian dress, leggings, gloves, and sandals. "The track may lead straight back to this boss's house." "We're not going there! This isn't anything to do with us! Let the police rescue the girls' grandfather! It's not our business to rescue hostages without pay!" Mireille ranted, switching to French. "The peace of the newly-born, their black hands protect," Kirika murmured. "What?" Mireille was surprised at the apparent non-sequitur. "It's part of the oath, the Noir oath. And we are Noir now, for real. Maybe this IS our job, now. Maybe our path only crossed theirs because we completed the ceremony." Mireille's eyes and mouth rounded in astonishment for a moment, then she rolled her eyes heavenward. "You think it's now our JOB to risk our lives protecting the peace of ten-year-old girls, without getting paid for it?" "We don't need the money," Kirika pointed out. "Altena saw to that. And you heard what else she said." That caught Mireille off-guard. She remembered the day before... - - - - - - - - - - Mireille finished pulling Kirika from the pit, still teary-eyed and sniffling. Once Kirika was well clear, she wrapped her arms around Kirika and hugged the smaller woman desperately. "Idiot! Don't you EVER do that to me again! Kirika... I was so miserable with you gone. I hated living. Please, don't ever leave me again! I need you!" "But, Mireille, what about our promise?" Kirika still looked worried and upset, a small part of Mireille noticed, and she had not returned the hug yet. "I'm breaking it. I am not killing you, now or ever. I can't. I couldn't in that graveyard. I can't now. I won't ever be able to. You'll just have to live with it." "But your parents..." "...gave their lives for my happiness," Mireille interrupted. You owe it to them to make me happy, Kirika. And I won't be happy unless you are alive and with me. So you have to live. Don't you want to be happy? Your letter said you were happy with me." Now Kirika's eyes were filled with tears of happiness, and Mireille felt the pressure of Kirika returning her hug. "Yes. I was happy. Mireille, you mean so much to me. I'll do anything for you, anything at all if it makes you happy." "Then you have to live. You mean everything to me, too, my dearest Kirika. I need you." Mireille was enchanted to see a wide smile on Kirika's face, bigger than any she'd ever seen there. It made her look so glorious. After a few minutes, they stood, wiping the tears from each other's eyes. "Come, we'd better get going; it must be dark by now." They were just reaching the foot of the stairs, arms supporting each other, when it happened. A hidden panel in the wall rose up and a television monitor behind it came on. Altena's face appeared. "Whoever sees this recording will have passed the final tests and completed the ceremony by now. I will be dead, of course, as my life is the final sacrifice. You two are now Noir, now and forever, irrevocably." Kirika cried out a denial at that, and Mireille made a rude sound, but both kept listening. "I cannot know or control what you will want to do at this point, but I know what Noir is, and I am confident that your tasks will find you. There is more to Noir than a pair of tightly-bound maidens. Every part of the Oath applies. You reign over death. You protect the newly born. You shield the nursing babes. And you are a lure to the lost children. You will not be able to escape this ancient fate. "Noir will need resources to do its work. In the drawer beneath this screen is a folder containing information: numbered bank accounts in Switzerland, Lichtenstein, and the Cayman Islands holding Soldats funds for which I was trustee. Should one of you be Mireille Bouquet, you may wish to know that your parents' non-Corsican holdings comprise one of these accounts." Mireille tightened her grip on Kirika, involuntarily. "Kirika and Chloe, should you survive, you may want to know that those are your real given names. I am sorry that I cannot tell you your parents' real names, but withholding them was a condition for giving you up." Altena quirked a smile. "They were all quite uncomfortable with the notion that a Noir whom they'd abandoned would ever be able to find them again. Kirika, one of the sheets of paper inside the folder is an outline of where you've been and what you've done during your life; I hope it will help you to avoid crossing paths with many of those who might feel a need for revenge upon you. But be warned: you will not be able to avoid all of them." Mireille felt Kirika shiver. "The rest of the material consists of organizational charts and contact data for those parts of the Soldats leadership which I know, and credentials for accessing a copy of those parts of their intelligence database to which I had access, which I've stored, encrypted, at an off-shore web-site." Altena smiled. "Good luck, Noir; I will not be able to watch over you, but my best wishes are with you forever." The tape ended. Mireille and Kirika glanced at each other in astonishment, then reached for the drawer as one. - - - - - - - - - - "Okay, we don't need the money. We don't have to work any more at all. So why do we want to have anything to do with this?" Mireille asked, clenching one fist. "We both have many enemies, survivors of those we have killed. We have to stay in practice, face real danger, in case they come after us. Why not this?" Mireille sighed. Kirika's logic was uncomfortable, but she saw the point. But did it have to be THIS job? When they were still both wounded? Couldn't they at least get back to Paris first, have a cup of hot tea? "I guess we'll take it as it comes. Let's pick up this stuff and get going, at least, before any reinforcements arrive." - - - - - - - - - - The two girls had been quiet while Noir conferred in French, but as soon as Mireille and Kirika turned, lifted their bundles, and started walking, the floodgates opened. "Are you guys detectives?" Aditi asked eagerly. "Or secret agents? Or superheros?" "No, they're millionaire archaeologists who travel the world righting wrongs and befriending girls like us everywhere they go!" Tati replied, waving her doll around in the air. "How do champions of justice like you guys get to be so good with guns and knives and things? Can you teach us? That would be so cool!" Aditi mimed shooting an imaginary gun. "Blam, blam!" "Can we help you beat up the bad guys? We've had judo lessons." Mireille and Kirika froze, horrified. "NO!" they expostulated in unison. "You don't want to be like us at all!" Kirika insisted. "We've had very unhappy lives. Don't you want to be normal? To be happy?" "We're only as proficient as we are because many bad things have happened to us," Mireille added. "And we're not champions of justice or anything like that. We're not the good guys. We've done many bad things. You really, really don't want to be like us, or even to know us." "Alone against the underworld, you travel the world, beating up bad guys, protecting the innocent, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor, forsaking romance, relying only on each other and your faithful apprentices, Tati and Aditi!" Tati pronounced proudly, darting behind a tree to fire imaginary bullets at Aditi, who fired back from beneath a bush. "No! We're not like that at all! And you're not going to be our apprentices! We don't have apprentices!" Mireille shouted desperately. "Maybe they have handsome spy boyfriends, who constantly watch over them and will show up any minute now to help us!" Aditi speculated excitedly, engaging in mock karate against Tati. "We don't have any boyfriends," Kirika replied, beginning to despair of bringing these two under control. "You seek solace and comfort only in each other, lesbian lovers who can never trust a man lest he betray you to a sudden and violent death!" Tati rejoined as she judo-threw Aditi over her shoulder into the grass, then leapt on top of her. Kirika pursed her lips. A bit florid, but that seemed fair, if redundant. A lesbian was a woman who lived with and loved another woman, right? Surely that described her and Mireille, and she'd overheard some of their neighbors use the word a time or two. "You've got to be kidding," Mireille said loudly and peremptorily. "Do we look like lesbians?" Mireille rolled her eyes, her voice dripping with scorn. Mireille pointed to herself while glaring at the girls. The two girls' eyes got very wide. They stopped wrestling each other and fell very silent. Kirika stared at Mireille, eyes wide. What was Mireille saying? Was Mireille denying that the two of them lived together? Mireille glanced at Kirika and suddenly stopped cold, eyes wide. Why was Kirika looking at her with such a devastated expression? She put one hand on Kirika's shoulder. "What's wrong?" she murmured, switching back to French. "Mireille... do you want me to move out?" Kirika struggled to get the question out through her constricted throat. "WHAT? No, of course not!" Mireille looked Kirika in the eyes, puzzled, then understanding slowly dawned. "Oh, Kirika, God, I didn't think, I'm so stupid," she murmured. "I didn't even think about what your feelings might be! Mireille took a few moments to sort through what she wanted to say. She had to get it right, this time. "Kirika, I love you, please believe me. And I like living with you. It's just... I have some issues... with that word. About being labeled with that word. They're my issues, not yours. We can talk about it sometime, if you want; but it may take a while." Mireille took Kirika's hand and gave it a quick squeeze of reassurance. Kirika offered her a tentative half-smile, but Mireille knew she'd hurt Kirika. She just didn't know how much. - - - - - - - - - - It was easy to start up the Land Rover once they reached it; the key was still in the ignition. As Mireille started driving slowly back down the track, Kirika broke open the trail bars and passed them out to the girls. Aditi gleefully opened her and was about to bite it when Tati elbowed her. "We can't eat these yet. We have to wash our hands first," Tati explained. "Grandpa always insisted on it. He said if we didn't, we'd get smallpox and die horribly." "Or just be marked with nasty pox-marks all over our faces for the rest of our lives." Aditi added. "Grandpa was a scientist studying germs back in Russia, before he became a priest, so we figured he knew what he was talking about." Something very cold formed in the pit of Mireille's stomach. "Did your grandfather talk about smallpox often? Or other diseases?" "Well... one time he talked about the ebola virus all afternoon, about how fast it kills people. It was kind of creepy, really." "And he used to say that if we ate our spinach, we'd grow up to be as hearty and long-lived as anthrax spores." Sighing, Mireille glanced at Kirika. "You win. We'd better go save their grandfather before these Basque terrorists obtain smallpox virus or something equally lethal. But you girls," Mireille warned sternly, "are NOT coming, understand! You're going to stay with the car, well away from the action, even if we have to tie you up!" Aditi and Tati nodded solemnly, but Mireille caught them smirking at each other and sighed again. "Make yourselves useful, why don't you? Take some paper and pencils out of that box and start drawing floor plans for the place where they're holding your grandfather. And tell us everything you know about these Basques holding your grandfather. Everything." "We couldn't understand what they said to each other, so we don't know much," Aditi admitted. "Not even the Devil can learn the Basque language," Mireille quoted the old saying, nodding. "Actually, I know a little Euskara," Kirika remarked absently, turning on the car's radio and putting the earphones on. "You would," Mireille muttered. "The boss's name is Lash-out, I think?" Tati remarked, looking to Aditi for confirmation. "Josh Lash-out," Aditi nodded. Mireille went cold. Joxe Laxalt? He led a tiny group which had splintered from the main ETA, or "Basque Homeland and Freedom" organization, originally over tactics. Laxalt favored less discrimination in the choice of targets. The split had become deadly enmity when Laxalt led an ambush which decimated the main wing's leaders. Laxalt was a hunted man even among his own people, one with a reputation not just for utter ruthlessness, but for sadistic enjoyment of the work, and for deliberately targeting women and children. Mireille shook her head ruefully. Was Kirika right? Less than twenty-four hours after completing the Noir ceremony, and they found themselves up against the murderer of at least a dozen nursing babes. The track they were on wound through a wooded hollow with a stream to their right. There was now a steep hill to their left, in the direction their Range Rover lay. It was beginning to seem as if they had no choice in the matter. "Four more men are just leaving now to investigate," Kirika reported, intent on the radio. "They're saying it will be fifty minutes before they can expect a report." "And we've been driving for ten," Mireille added. "Start looking for some place to set up our ambush." "Why don't we just hide and let them go past us?" Tati asked curiously. "Can't we just outsmart them?" "We can't leave enemies behind us," Kirika replied, puzzled at the question. "They might return unexpectedly and catch us on both sides. We have to kill these men now." "Oh." Aditi and Tati looked at each other, subdued. "That's not how it works on TV," Tati muttered to Aditi. - - - - - - - - - - They chose a spot with an abrupt turn in the road. The steep hill, a cliff at this point, blocked one side of the road, and the stream blocked the other, a few boulders in its midst. Mireille parked the Toyota in the middle of the track right after the turn, so that the oncoming car wouldn't be able to stop until just before hitting the Toyota. "You girls walk back down the way we came, past that tree, and hide behind those rocks, you understand? And STAY there until we call." The two girls nodded, then walked back down the track, whispering to each other in some language Mireille didn't know. She had no idea what it might be. The two girls looked back frequently, she noted, and seemed to smirk or giggle each time. "To the depths of hell's fire, their black souls lure the lost children," Kirika murmured, watching them. Mireille closed her eyes momentarily, in the midst of cleaning her gun. "Another part of the oath?" she asked wearily. "Ummn. Altena said we would be a lure to lost children. I wonder if this is what she meant." Kirika carefully inspected both sides of the barrel, then, saying "there we go" under her breath, began reassembling her gun. "I'll come up behind them; you find some cover here," Mireille suggested. "Ummn." Mireille trotted up the track about twenty meters past the point where they'd have to stop, then moved into the trees. Kirika looked about herself for a moment. Cliff, stream, track. An idea occurred to her, and she again began taking off her clothes. - - - - - - - - - - "Joxe was pretty angry when those guys didn't report back," one of the men in the back seat ventured. "Probably their damn radio just broke or something, but I sure wouldn't want to be in their shoes when they get back," the driver added. "Xaber will be lucky if he gets away with ten lashes, you ask me, he being in charge and all." The driver cursed and braked abruptly. He barely managed to stop their car before it hit the other. "What the hell is their car doing here?!" He got out in a strangled voice. "Xaber couldn't even spare a man to warn us?" The driver got out, slamming his door, and strode over to give Xaber and his men a piece of his mind. Behind him, the other three men in his car got out more slowly and carefully, guns ready. Alfonso, the slowest, stumbled and fell just as he got out. The Land Cruiser was empty inside, except for a gold cloth of some sort, folded, lying on the passenger-side seat. The driver looked around, perplexed, then put his hands to his mouth to shout. The sound of a nearby shot caused him to duck behind the truck instead. He looked around. He'd only heard one shot, but all three of the men who'd come with him were down. One silenced gun, a second unsilenced, then. Easing around the car slowly, he carefully looked around the corner. Nothing but the boulder-strewn stream. Where were the attackers? The driver had taken two steps forward when it happened. One of the boulders suddenly unfolded itself and stood up. He had just enough time to realize that it was now a naked oriental girl when the gun in her hand spoke. Mireille and Kirika slowly walked out from the hiding places, eyes watchful for any movement by the bodies. "That was SO COOL!" Aditi yelled down from the top of the cliff. "You guys killed all four of them just like that!" Tati added from beside her, eyes shining in adoration. "I wish we could do that!" "No, you DON'T!" Mireille and Kirika yelled in desperation. "Just get down here!" While the girls descended, Mireille and Kirika checked the guns and ammunition on the fallen. Still no silencer for Kirika, unfortunately, and no ammunition either of them could use. - - - - - - - - - - "They're following us again," Kirika remarked as the pair moved carefully forward through the ancient stone sheep-pen towards the main house. "Damn it! How did they get loose? We can't afford to go back and tie them up more securely; we're too close!" "Ummn," Kirika agreed, nodding. "If one of us stays put when we split up, they'll have to follow that one." Joxe Laxalt's hideout had turned out to be an old, abandoned manor house, once somewhat fortified but now partially in ruins. One side lay up against a steep cliff. Nothing indicated to the casual passerby that the complex was inhabited. The girls had been held in an upstairs room of the sole wing still uncollapsed; they didn't know where their grandfather was held. The girls had seen an assortment of handguns, but couldn't rule out heavier weaponry. The two women arrived within sight of the main door. Two guards were standing outside it, one smoking, eyes alert; the other sitting and cleaning his AK-47 rifle. Without a silencer, Kirika couldn't fire, so Mireille darted out of hiding and shot both men. Mireille advanced to the door while Kirika covered her. Both were dead, Mireille noted in satisfaction; it HAD been a fairly long shot. Still no silencer for Kirika, although one man did have some ammunition she'd be able to use. From the door, Mireille covered Kirika's advance. Once Kirika was inside, Mireille started up the stairs just to the right. This was the main hall, a large, square room of two stories, with doors leading out in various directions and a second- story balcony all the way around. Kirika picked a place in the shadows and settled down to wait for their two 'apprentices'. Aditi and Tati appeared soon enough, scampering quietly up from the sheep-pen to where the two guards' bodies lay. Aditi tried to pick up the AK-47 automatic rifle, but it was too heavy for her, so she and Tati settled for a handgun apiece. Kirika, alarmed, hissed at them to at least put the safeties on. "You shouldn't do this," Kirika whispered, trying one last warning once the girls were inside. "If you follow us, you'll be hurt, maybe killed. If you go back outside and hide, you'll be safe. PLEASE just go outside and wait for us." Neither girl moved. Instead, both grinned, ready for action. Kirika sighed, but couldn't think of anything else to try. "Okay, then. We don't have silencers, so our job is to wait here for an assault, rather than sneak around taking them out one by one. We need to find a spot with good cover, but from where we can still retreat if need be." The three of them crept around the periphery of the main hall. Kirika led, checking out each room as they came to it. The first such side room had no exit and no surprises. She was carefully looking around inside a second room, gun poised, when a party of five men entered the main hall through another door. Aditi and Tati squealed, but raised their guns, laboriously flipped off their safeties, and started squeezing the triggers. The recoil threw off their aim badly, surprising both of them, but neither dropped their guns and each got off a second, then a third shot. In the time it took Kirika to return to the door of room, the girls had actually managed to wound one assailant, but the other four had closed the distance substantially. None were firing back at the girls, Kirika noted, but as soon as their attackers caught site of her, all four fired. Kirika dodged, falling, but took one bullet in her left leg and a second grazed her left upper arm. Her own return fire dropped two more attackers before the last two reached them. Kirika somersaulted backwards, and was just about to shoot the last two attackers when Aditi suddenly jumped up, right between Kirika and her target, arms spread. Kirika barely managed not to pull the trigger. Joxe Laxalt grinned. Perfect. With his left hand, he picked the annoying girl up by the front of her blouse, using her as a shield as he closed on Kirika. Once close enough, Joxe Laxalt kicked Kirika viciously in the jaw with his steel-toed shoe, then dropped the child on the gun-arm and held her down. The other man ripped Tati's gun away and pinned her to his chest with one brawny arm. Laxalt kicked the side of Kirika's head, which rebounded from Laxalt's foot and hit the stone wall behind her with a dull thud. "Just kill her," the second man said tiredly as Laxalt continued to kick the unconscious Kirika, screaming about what she's done to his men. Laxalt changed his aim, targeting the bandages over Kirika's stomach wound. "No!" Aditi shouted. "She's..." Aditi glanced pleadingly at Tati, eyes wide. "...Grandfather's chief assistant!" Tati interrupted. "She knows as much as Grandfather does about his research!" Laxalt stopped abruptly. "Does she now? I think you're lying, but it's simple enough to check. We'll take the three of you down to see him." - - - - - - - - - - Upstairs, Mireille heard the gunfire, from below, oddly faint, but was only halfway through sweeping this wing of the house. She'd eliminated two sleeping men so far. She considered investigating the gunfire, but decided she'd better stick with the plan. She carefully continued her sweep, finally coming across a smoky room where four men were playing cards. One window was open, on the backside of the house. She had only two more bullets, but one of the men had the same gun she used, the Walther P-99, hanging in a shoulder holster on the back of his chair. Mireille came into the room at a run, headed straight for the shoulder holster. Her two bullets took out the two men facing her, then she threw her gun into the face of the third. The fourth man was her target. He was still getting up and turning when she reached the gun. She flicked the safety off and fired through the holster into his foot, causing him to stumble badly. Mireille stepped past him and calmly shot the third man through the heart, then spun and nailed the gun's owner. Mireille retrieved her own gun and reloaded, using the dead man's ammunition, while she considered. There was a good chance that this was it for opponents on this floor, but Mireille had been bitten too many times to take that for granted. She had to cover the rest of the floor. It was another ten minutes before Mireille returned to the stairs and started down. - - - - - - - - - - "Old man!" Boris Sarkhovsky woke up as a bucket of ice-cold water was thrown in his face. His granddaughters were there, he noted blearily; he'd hoped they'd somehow managed to escape. And another girl, unconscious. Laxalt threw Kirika to the floor and kicked her in the ribs another couple of times for good measure. "Now, you talk, old man. Or your other daughter here does." Other daughter? Sarkhovsky wondered what that was about. And why were Aditi and Tati moving their mouths so strangely? Were they trying to tell him something? "Well, shall I wake her up and threaten to torture her nieces?" Laxalt asked. Assistant. They were mouthing the Russian word for assistant. "Not their aunt," he got out between his missing teeth. "My assistant." Laxalt looked startled. "Okay, you've bought her a little time, then. But not your granddaughters. I'll be plucking out their fingernails one by one while you make up your mind. They managed to kill one of my men." Laxalt glared at the two girls with a murderous expression. "I will hear them both scream in torment for that act." - - - - - - - - - - Mireille found three bodies in the main hall, no Kirika, and no girls. She searched carefully, but found only one man on the first floor, the cook, apparently. Instead of killing him immediately, she had to show herself and make threats, in Spanish, to find out where Kirika and the girls had been taken. He was a small man, not a combatant, apparently, so after he'd shown her the hidden door down to the dungeons, Mireille advised him to flee immediately, to get as far away as he could. Laxalt would be dead soon, she told him, so there wouldn't be any comeback. The cook backed away, nodding and bowing, then ran. "I'm turning soft," Mireille mused as she descended the dark stone staircase, gun ready. "I never would have let him live before." Finally Mireille reached the bottom. The smell was awful down here, ancient bloodstains mixed with moss on the dank walls. She started down the single hallway. Light was coming from a room at the end. Nevertheless, she carefully checked out each side door as she came to it. Most were locked or jammed, and she dare not make the noise to force the latter open. Finally she reached the door with the light. She crept up to it in a crouch, moving silently, gun ready if anyone peered out. The first thing she saw, at an angle, was Kirika, lying on the floor, with blood spattering her golden tunic. Mireille froze, hoping Kirika was still breathing. But her task didn't change if Kirika wasn't. She continued to inch forward, angling slowly to the opposite side of the hallway, careful to stay in the darkness, gun ready to fire. An old man, chained to the wall, appeared, presumably the girls' grandfather, horribly beaten. Next two men came into view, a large man holding the two girls, and a second seated before them, utilizing a pair of pincers on Aditi's left hand. Both girls were sobbing with pain and terror. Aditi screamed as the man holding the pincers finished his task. "Keep that up; I like it," he said to Aditi just before casually backhanding her across the face. Tati already had several bruises on her cheek. Two men; was that all? Mireille continue to inch sideways until she had seen the entire room. Good, that WAS it. Her first shot was centered on the forehead of the large man holding the two girls prisoner. He looked vaguely surprised, then dropped. Joxe Laxalt leapt to his feet much faster than Mireille had expected, facing her with a hideous expression on his face, then darting out of her angle of fire. Mireille dived through the doorway in a rolling somersault, hoping to surprise him. Two shots ricocheted off the stone just behind her. From the floor, she sighted upside down and got off two shots, just missing Laxalt as he moved. He started in surprise, then fired at Mireille again, screaming profanities. Mireille rolled desperately, then came to her feet and kept going, firing sideways on the run. She hit Laxalt twice at least, but he was moving himself, and firing back. Suddenly he stopped moving. On reflex, Mireille fired two careful bullets through his brain and throat before she noticed why. Aditi and Tati were on the floor at his feet, their arms wrapped about Laxalt's legs, their faces scrunched up in terror and determination. Laxalt toppled slowly to the side, surprise and fury warring on his face. Mireille carefully checked both men to make sure they were dead, then smiled at the two girls. "Can you please make sure Carrie is okay? And you can untie your grandfather. I have to check out the rest of this floor, but I'll be right back." Mireille found no-one else on in the dungeons. By the time she returned, Kirika was up. All three were kneeling by the side of the girls' grandfather. With a sick feeling, Mireille noticed fresh blood on his chest. He must have been hit with a stray bullet during the firefight. "Aditi, Tati, I'm glad you're all right," a faint voice came out of the wheezing, gasping chest. "Grandfather! Please don't die!" Aditi and Tati were both crying freely and blubbering. "How is he?" Mireille asked Kirika soberly. "He isn't going to make it," she replied in a low voice. "Girls... don't have choice... when Good Lord calls," the old man got out, slowly, gasping for breath. "But He sent... His angels... to save you." Boris Sarkhovsky's eyes turned to Mireille and Kirika. "Girls have... no living relative," he struggled to get out. "My friend... Catholic priest... will take them. Address... in pocket." His eyes returned to Aditi and Tati, and he smiled in love. "Have to... go now. Beloved granddaughters, try... be like... these angels. We'll be..." A sudden spasm took him, "...together... heaven." Mireille closed her eyes and uttered a silent prayer, to whom she could not say. She knelt, taking Aditi into her arms and letting the girl cry out her grief on her shoulder, even as Kirika did the same for Tati. - - - - - - - - - - They buried Boris Sarkhovshy in the ruined manor's chapel, with a wooden cross bearing his name. Mireille found herself drafted to say a few words of benediction, which she did in the church- Corsican of her youth. "Goodbye, Grandpa," Tati murmured, wiping her eyes, then turning to follow Kirika and Mireille. "We'll miss you," Aditi added, her own eyes still filled with tears. Back at the car, Mireille retrieved the first aid kit and began bandaging wounds. Kirika's leg wound was not too serious, and the graze on her upper arm only needed antiseptic. Both the girls' hands needed bandages where Laxalt had removed fingernails, and the bruises on their faces needed attention. Mireille gave them both pain-killers and sleeping pills as well. Finally, Mireille and Kirika stripped off their bandages from the day before and put new ones on. Mireille was surprised, but very relieved, to see that the wound in Kirika's stomach was no worse, and probably better, than it had been the previous day. There was no trace of infection. Before leaving, Mireille opened the folded note they'd found in the old man's pocket. They'd have to take the girls wherever it was first, assuming it was nearby or on the way, before going back to Paris. But at least they'd finally be out of their hair. Note open, Mireille read it and stared in disbelief, then read it again. No. It couldn't be. Her mouth opened and closed twice. Kirika peered around her shoulder. "Umm... isn't that the church three blocks from our apartment, in Paris?" - - - - - - - - - - Mireille wearily opened the door to their room at the little pensione they'd found. Inside were two beds, both somewhat narrow. "You girls can have the nearest; Carrie and I will take the one nearer the bathroom." The two girls, eyes still red with tears and wincing from their wounds, gingerly undressed and crawled into bed without another word. As they undressed for bed, Kirika tilted her head sideways in thought. "Mireille?" "Hmmm?" "what will we do after we get back to Paris and hand over the girls?" Mireille laughed as she settled herself into bed, lying on her left side, back against the wall, right arm up and welcoming. "Yesterday, I just wanted to have a nice hot cup of tea. But now I want to go shopping! You've never had a nice wardrobe, so we'll go shopping for new clothes. I get to dress you up, and you have to sit still for it. Then maybe we'll go out to dinner, someplace nice with candles, just the two of us. How's that for our first day back?" Kirika smiled shyly as she settled herself into Mireille's embrace. "That sounds like fun." End. The Sacrifice of the Lambs A Noir fanfic by hkmiller 28 March 2004 - prereader draft 20 April 2004 - FFML draft The characters of Noir were created by Ryoe Tsukimura and Yoko Kikuchi, and are copyrighted by A.D.Vision, Inc. in the USA and Ryoe Tsukimura / Bee Train / Victor Entertainment in Japan. No disrespect intended by my unlicensed usage. Contains spoilers for the entire series, mild shoujo-ai, lime content, and VERY dark content. This is a sequel to my earlier story, "The Peace of the Ten-Year-Olds". To summarize: the day after leaving the manor, Mireille and Kirika rescued two ten-year-old girls, Aditi and Tati Sarkhovsky, from a splinter Basque terrorist group. The girls' grandfather died requesting that the girls be delivered to a priest in Paris. - - - - - - - - - - "What does 'Les ministres confronte au financement des services publics'" mean?" Tati asked from the back seat, running a bandaged finger over the headlines in Mireille's discarded newspaper. "'Ministers confront financing of public services'," Kirika replied. Kirika was half-turned in her seat, facing the two girls in the back seat, wearing that rare smile which Mireille had come to treasure. "BOR-ING!" Aditi declared. "We need a real case." The Indian girl, sitting next to Tati, promptly moved on to the next story. "What does 'un tueur en serie possible' mean?" "'A possible serial killer'", Kirika replied. "MUCH better!" Aditi pronounced. The two twice-orphaned girls bent their heads down over that section of the newspaper. "'De le Sud de France' means 'from the south of France'," Tati offered, as she thumbed through a French-English dictionary. "Now for 'entre dix et vingt jeune filles manquant'..." "Are you trying to learn French, or are you really looking for a case?" Kirika asked them. Aditi, panicked, looked at Tati, who answered, "You two live in Paris, right? So obviously we have to learn French if we're going to live with you." "You two are NOT going to live with us," Mireille snapped. Tati ignored her; Aditi briefly stuck her tongue out at Mireille. "Now, THIS story..." Aditi nudged Tati. "...sounds like a job..." Tati continued, smirking. "...for YOU TWO!" they finished in unison, fingers pointing into the front seat, between Kirika and Mireille. Aditi added, "Ably assisted, of course, by ..." "...your lovely and talented apprentices, Aditi and Tati Sarkhovsky!" Tati said, buffing her bandaged fingers against her blouse with a pleased smile. The two ten-year-old girls looked at each other and nodded in unison. "We are not going to do anything about that story. We are going to drive straight to Paris, today, and hand you over to this Father DiFrancesco." Mireille eyed the two girls sternly in her rear-view mirror as they threw the newspaper down, crossed their arms, and huffed in disappointment. Kirika was still looking into the back seat with a fond smile. "What are you looking at?" Mireille asked curiously. "Nothing important," Kirika answered wistfully. "Kirika, do you remember what our apartment currently looks like?" Mireille said sweetly. Switching to German, Mireille added, "Living with us is too dangerous for them. You do know that, right?" "I know, I know," Kirika answered sadly, also in German. "I just... like having them around." Mireille patted Kirika's leg. "We'll find a way to keep tabs on them, maybe visit them occasionally. Does that help?" "Ummn." Kirika smiled at Mireille and nodded. "Did you see anything in those papers Altena left us?" Mireille asked curiously. Kirika looked down at the papers she'd been holding in her hands. "Nothing much. Apparently I rarely came to Europe in recent years. I was in Marseilles for a short time two years ago, but it doesn't say what I did there." "Probably nothing terribly important." Mireille switched back to French. "We'll make a brief stop soon, in Bordeaux, for gasoline. And we'll have to get you something to wear which won't attract so much attention; I know where there are some nice shops in Bordeaux. After that we'll drive straight on to Paris." Kirika nodded, her eyes drifting again to the back seat. - - - - - - - - - - It was mid-morning when the rising sun crested the roofs on the east side of the narrow street enough to fully illuminate the light-colored stone of the buildings on the west side. Few shoppers were on the streets yet, here in the 'Golden Triangle' shopping district of Bordeaux, despite the trendy fashions displayed in the boutique windows. Armand Gafori sauntered up the street whistling, his hands in his pockets, his eyes hidden behind sunglasses, watching the few shoppers out and about. He was of medium height, lean and wiry, dressed in a fashionable white suit and flashy, narrow tie. Wind-blown hair topped a long, narrow face. He watched a Toyota Land Cruiser came to a stop and park in front of a fashionable women's clothing store. Two women got out of the front seat, one rather nice, a blonde; the other a little young, and an oriental. Hmmm; he hadn't tasted Chinese yet. Two more Asian kids got out of the back seat. The oriental woman was wearing some bizarre golden gown, and had bandages wrapped around one leg. She wasn't the type he'd normally watch, but with the amount of leg that gown was showing... Suddenly his eyes widened. It couldn't be; could it? He had to get a closer look! He followed the four into a clothing store, and studied the woman closely out of the corner of his eyes while buying whatever lingerie came first to hand. It WAS her! He was sure of it! For a moment it all came back to him... The dingy, dimly-lit warehouse on the Marseille waterfront was filled with the smell of smoke and shouts of confusion. Automatic weapons fired here and there there in the smoke. He and the two men with him quartered their assigned section, wary and alert. The icy-eyed girl came out of nowhere, simply materializing out of the smoke. She fired three rapid shots in a single motion of her arm, her face completely expressionless. Armand saw his teammates fall out of the corner of his eye as he himself fell backwards in shock. A lung puncture, he thought vaguely, coughing up blood. As if in a dream he lay where he'd fallen, watching the girl whirl and duck just before Big Jean's reaching arms grabbed her from behind. He saw the quick two-step which tripped Big Jean just as Jacques and Leon emerged from the smoke and took aim at her; he watched her take three unbelievably quick steps and jerk Jacques' gun around just as he fired so that the bullets killed Leon. Stepping past Jacques, the girl held her arm straight out, without even looking, and shot Big Jean just as the latter got back to his feet. Jacques got himself turned around to face the girl just in time to meet the same fate, drilled through the middle of the forehead. Moments later the girl was gone, vanished again into the smoke. Armand waited another few minutes, then slowly got to his feet. Both the men with him had been drilled through the heart, he saw. Well, this gig was done. He slowly staggered towards the corner where the boss kept his safe and all the cash. Armand left the store with his purchases, turned and walked around the corner, suppressing a shiver. The girl was death on wheels, that was clear; on the other hand, what a prize for his collection! This might well call for breaking his rule about not hunting on his home turf. But carefully, carefully; he'd have to figure an approach. Perhaps a hostage? Would she sacrifice those two little lambs with her? Or maybe the blonde who'd been doting over her? The lambs he dismissed as any threat, but he hesitated over the blonde. Treat her as formidable, for a woman, of course; but what if she were the oriental girl's equal? Gafori shivered involuntarily, then smiled and relaxed. No, women weren't fighters; they were made to be appreciated, by connoisseurs such as himself. He'd treat the blonde as formidable, but there could not be two like the oriental in the whole world. - - - - - - - - - - Inside the shop, Mireille began picking out clothes for Kirika to try on, one outfit after another. It was not a large shop, occupying just a front and back room on a single floor, and only the smiling proprietress was present at this time of day. It was sparsely decorated, just white walls, mirrors, and mannequins. "I thought we wanted to be quick," Kirika noted in an even tone, fingering the cloth on the first outfit, a light blue sun dress. "But this is such as darling outfit! I have to see how it looks on you!" Mireille gushed, a fond smile on her face. "And I did say that you need more clothes," Mireille reminded Kirika. "You really are just too adorably cute when you dress right. You should show it off more." Aditi whispered to Tati in their private patois, "This is our chance! We GOTTA find another case, before they can dump us off on Grandpa's old friend, or we'll never get to be spy-detectives like them! You keep 'em busy, I'll go outside and look for a case! They're going to be at least another half hour." "Aditi, no!" Tati hissed. "Not now! Just stay put! What if they decide to just leave you?" "That's exactly why we gotta find the next case! You stay here, and don't tell them I'm gone until they ask!" Aditi replied, just before sneaking out the front door. Outside, Aditi grinned and began to stride down the street, turning her head from side to side. If she were a terrorist group, where would she hide in Bordeaux? What other kinds of cases would Kirika and Mireille let them help with? Bank robbers? Spies? That serial killer? Where should she look? She had just passed the mouth of an alleyway when she heard a faint scraping sound close behind her. - - - - - - - - - - "What do you mean, she's gone? Where did she go?" Mireille asked Tati sharply as she paid for Kirika's new outfits. "She was just restless; went out for a walk..." Tati looked a little scared and uncharacteristically subdued. "She can't have gone far. Let's just split up and search. Tati, you stay with Kirika, understand?" Mireille frowned at the child. Another hitch; just great. "We'll meet back here in twenty minutes. I'll go left." "Ummn." Kirika nodded, then took Tati's hand. Leaving the shop, they turned right. Mireille was just finishing her third block at a steady pace, having seen no sign of Aditi, when the rear door of a black Citroen sedan parked at the curb opened just as she came abreast of it. Glancing inside, she stiffened. A wiry but capable- looking man sat in the back seat, holding a silenced Beretta with the barrel up against the side of Aditi's head. Aditi herself was gagged and tied up, quite professionally, it appeared. "Please don't make a scene," the man spoke softly. "It would be SUCH a pain to get her brains out of the upholstery." Mireille froze and watched the man calmly, bending her legs slowly in case she needed to jump, right hand drifting to the mouth of her handbag. "Your move," she acknowledged with a nod, wondering whether she should just shoot him anyway. "I'll take that handbag of yours, to begin with. Toss it to me with your left hand, please. Then get in the front seat driver's side. The key's in the ignition. Start the car and pull us carefully out into traffic. I'll give you directions as we go." Mireille sighed. Kirika liked the girls, heaven only knew why; she refused to admit that they were growing on her a bit as well. She tossed the handbag and got in the car. The man didn't look at all familiar, Mireille thought. Wonder where he knows me from? "My friends will be wondering where I am," she said slowly. "My dear, I'm counting on it." The man smiled nastily. - - - - - - - - - - Kirika and Tati stood in front of the Toyota Land Cruiser getting increasingly worried. Aditi might be impulsive, even reckless at times, but it was very unlike Mireille to have missed this rendezvous. Tati just looked scared. Kirika thought about going to the police. But what credence would the police place in their story? They were two girls, one underage, neither French by origin, and neither had any documents to show that they were in France legally. The car they were using belonged to a wanted Basque terrorist, now dead. The police were going to have to be a last resort. - - - - - - - - - - Mireille frowned. The man had given her no good openings, and now she was running out of opportunities. The man had ordered her to circle through the winding streets for a while, into an old residential neighborhood with centuries-old stone houses. She'd pulled into an enclosed garage in back of one of the houses, and now the automatic garage door opener was shutting again. "You get out first. Place your hands on your head once you're out, and walk over to that door. Don't turn around once you're by the door." Mireille heard the back door of the Citroen open behind her as the man herded Aditi out of the car. Glancing into a shiny surface close to her, she could see that the man was still watching her closely and all but ignoring Aditi. This is your chance, girl, Mireille thought. Kick him in the shins. Unfortunately, Aditi did nothing. Staying carefully back, the man ordered Mireille to descend ahead of them into the cellar. The bottom of the cellar stairs opened into a large central room taking up most of the basement, well lit by an overhead fluorescent lamp. A butcher-block table sat near a large freezer towards the back, with a cleaver and knives sitting on a large cutting board. A few brown stains smudged a large pewter platter also sitting on the table. A lone mouse scurried out of sight. Towards the front of the house was a thick wooden door with a heavy bar across it. Glancing around, Mireille decided that the stone walls were much too thick for any noise to escape the basement. Her captor motioned her towards the barred door. Mireille noticed now that the door had a small peephole in the center of the door, currently closed. "Lift the bar." "I can't lift that," Mireille bluffed. "Not without help." "I don't believe you. Do it!" "I CAN'T!" Gafori, frowning, approached Mireille, who waited, listening. At what she judged the correct moment, she lashed back at him with an elbow to the throat. Unfortunately he was ready for her, and caught it easily with his left hand. Almost simultaneously, he riposted with a vicious sidekick to her stomach, driving Mireille into the door. "None of that, now, or the girl dies. You have ten seconds to open that door, or I shoot her left kneecap." Mireille caught her breath, then stood and did as he asked. The man had reach and strength on her, and was a trained fighter. The bar WAS pretty heavy, Mireille thought, though she did manage to lift it and open the door. The bar seemed to be solid oak. "Inside." The front room was not large, Mireille saw, perhaps five meters deep by ten wide. The door was in the center of one of the long walls, recessed from the room since it opened in the direction they'd come from. There were no other doors, and no windows. To Mireille's left was a narrow metal bedframe with a ragged mattress on top. The head and foot of the bed, also metal, just barely overtopped the mattress. Adjustable metal cuffs, for someone's ankles and wrists, were welded to the top of the head and foot of the bed. To Mireille's right were several sturdy wooden chairs, one currently occupied by a woman tied to it by a thick rope. The only light in this room came from a single, dangling, overhead yellow bulb. "Lie down on that bed, face up, and fasten yourself into those cuffs," the man said, pointing with his gun. Doing her best to look intimidated, Mireille put her ankles into the cuffs at the foot of the bed, being careful to not quite fasten them, then lay back and put her wrists into the cuffs just above her head. If she could lure the man into approaching her... Studying her carefully, the man smiled nastily, then abruptly gave Aditi a vicious backhand, sending her flying to the stone floor. Producing a knife from another pocket, he cut Aditi free. "Now, girl, I'll be right behind you with this gun. You're going to walk up to your blonde friend and fasten those cuffs for me. I'll tell you exactly what to do, understand?" Aditi nodded, then stood slowly and approached Mireille, eyes hopeful and mouthing something. Mireille shook her head; Aditi would just get herself killed trying something now. After Aditi had done her best, their captor threw her aside and inspected her work, checking that all the cuffs were tight. Finally smirking approval, he hauled Aditi over and tied her into a chair near the other woman, who was now awake and looking at them. The man left the room for a moment, then returned with a sharp carving knife. He carefully inspected the knife, running his thumb along the edge, humming in satisfaction. Holding the tip of the knife against Mireille's throat, he slowly moved the knife down the length of Mireille's chest, slicing through her blouse and bra. The point left a red smear between Mireille's breasts as the fabric parted. Gafori kept the knife point going past Mireille's waist, though he redirected the point slightly, slicing through her panties along one leg. Once they were sliced, he pulled the point back from Mireille's skin and ripped through the rest of her skirt in a quick swipe. Almost as a whimsical afterthought, Gafori pulled the remains of her bra and panties out from under Mireille and casually threw them to the floor. "Now," Armand Gafori smiled lazily as he looked Mireille in the eyes, "you'll pardon my rudeness, but I'll need your skirt and blouse for my next trick." He took the blouse and skirt with him when he left, barring the door behind him. Mireille turned her head to look at the other prisoner. She was an adult woman in her mid-twenties with shoulder-length light brown hair. Her dress, once nice, now looked worn and dirty. "Are you all right?" Mireille asked the woman in French. "As well as can be," the woman replied. "My name is Charlotte, Charlotte Merril. Does the Indian girl not speak French?" "No, but she does speak English and Russian. My name is Mireille; hers is Aditi." "What is that man going to do with us?" Aditi asked in English. "Something very bad, I'm afraid," Charlotte said sadly in accented but understandable English. "I've been here for five days, I think. There was another girl, a teenager, here when I arrived, but he took her away yesterday. I think he killed her." "Ewww," replied Aditi, making a face. "He kidnapped me in Toulouse," Charlotte added. "I was there researching medieval manuscripts. Did you have a chance to see where we are? I'm not even sure what city we're in, or if we're even in a city." Aditi shrugged. "Sure; we're in the old part of Bordeaux. We're only a few blocks from where he grabbed us." "Did you say Charlotte Merril?" Mireille asked curiously. "There's a woman in Paris by that name I've heard of. Some sort of police consultant." Charlotte's eyes shifted away as she replied, "I'm just a medieval historian, I'm afraid." - - - - - - - - - - The Citroen pulled up next to where Kirika and Tati were still impatiently walking up and down the street, eyes peeled for any sign of Mireille or Aditi. Armand Gafori got out, Mireille's red blouse and black skirt draped over the gun in his right hand. Kirika had her gun out and pointed at Gafori's face before he could blink. She held that pose, arm outstretched, expressionless, awaiting an explanation. "Please make no hasty decisions," he spoke quickly. "I have confederates who will act on our hostages if I do not return soon." "You have Mireille?" Kirika asked. "That would be the delightful blonde lady? Yes, she is unharmed at present, and will stay that way provided you accompany me." Kirika lowered her gun and stood waiting. Gafori beckoned Tati over to him. Tati glanced over at Kirika, who nodded. Tati walked over and Gafori put a heavy hand on her shoulder. "Now, get in the front seat of the car," Gafori said. "You'll be driving. I'll be in the back seat with the girl. And I'll take that nasty gun of yours; put the safety on so I can see you, then slide it under the seat." Kirika was not used to driving; indeed, she was not sure she ever HAD driven before. Mireille made it look easy, but not hitting other cars in these narrow streets took most of her attention. The man holding Tati was doing something in the back seat; she couldn't spare the time to determine what. As the car came to a stop inside the garage, Kirika found out: one hand snaked around her head from behind and held a damp cloth against her mouth. In her remaining moments of consciousness, she recognized the scent: chloroform. - - - - - - - - - - Mireille looked up as the door opened. It was their captor, carrying Kirika and pulling Tati along by one arm. He carried Kirika over to the bed and dropped her on top of Mireille, then turned his attention to tying Tati up in one of the remaining chairs. Mireille sighed in relief once she was sure that Kirika was still breathing. Once finished with Tati, the man came back over and picked Kirika up again. He glanced down at Mireille and pursed his lips in amusement. "Given how comfortably we have you situated, we certainly mustn't slack our duty to our other guest here." So saying, he again produced a knife and cut Kirika's clothes from her body in the same way he had Mireille's. "I was quite surprised to see this little demoness here in Bordeaux, you know," he said conversationally. Mireille's eyebrows shot up. Kirika, rather than herself, was the reason they'd been waylaid? "You know her?" Gafori chuckled. "One of my lungs made the acquaintance of one of her bullets two years ago, in Marseilles. She missed my heart by less than two centimeters. You wouldn't happen to know for whom she was working on that occasion, would you?" he asked hopefully. Mireille shook her head. "I only met her about a year ago," she said truthfully. "A pity," Gafori said regretfully. "We had such a nice business going, too: the importation and distribution of certain substances which, although frowned upon by society's earnest guardians, never seem to lack demand." As he spoke, he arranged Kirika atop Mireille to his satisfaction, face down, then began tying her arms and legs to the bed. "I suppose I shouldn't complain, though. As sole survivor of the event, and being privy to the whereabouts of our ill-gotten gains, I was freed up to pursue my current, more artistic pursuits. After the months it took to heal up, that is." "If Kirika killed your entire gang, why did you risk seizing her? Why not stay as far away as possible?" Gafori smiled in delight. "Ah! Now there you touch upon one of my core principles, as it were: eliminate possible threats early, even unlikely ones. She might have been here in Bordeaux to finish the job on me, for all I knew. Much the same reason I picked the delightful Ms. Merril up," Gafori continued, gesturing at Charlotte with a thumb. "A tattly little article in one of the trashier tabloids claimed that she helped the police find my immediate predecessor in the business of widespread feminine disappearances, by means mysterious and supra-mundane. My curiousity aroused, I investigated, and found her just comely enough to warrant extending an invitation to enjoy my hospitality." "You wouldn't happen to have featured on the front page of today's Le Monde, would you?" Mireille asked. "Ah, you saw that? Yes, I must confess: I am the cause of the disappearance from their loved ones' embrace of so many fair flowers of France. They seek me here, they seek me there, the French do seek me everywhere. Though I must say, I've never had so many guests at one time before. Fortune favors me." Nodding satisfaction with his ropework, Gafori left the room and barred the door. - - - - - - - - - - Kirika came to gradually and much more slowly than she normally did. She was lying face down on some lumpy surface. Something was restraining her arms and legs. "Kirika?" Mireille whispered. "Are you awake?" "Mireille?" Kirika felt a momentary wave of relief. "Where are we?" "We seem to be in that man's private dungeon. Aditi, Tati, and another woman are prisoners here as well." "Wha- what's holding my arms back?" Kirika opened her eyes and raised her head. Her arms were stretched out in front of her, her wrists tied to two strands of thick fibrous rope which ran to the foot of the bed and down. A bit of experimental tugging proved that the two strands were in fact one long one. Looking back down, Kirika found that she was lying on top of Mireille, head pointed towards Mireille's feet. Mireille's thighs lay on either side of her head. Mireille's ankles were bound to the foot of the bed as well, cuffed in solidly, it appeared. "I'm cuffed to the bed in a spread-eagled position, face up," Mireille said. "He cut my clothes off me with a knife, and then did the same to you: your nice new sun-dress is in tatters. Our captor is NOT a nice man, I'm afraid." "The house?" "Stone. Foot-thick walls. We're in a front room of the basement, only door has a bar outside which I could barely lift. No other doors, and no windows." "I can get out of this rope if we have enough time," Kirika murmured. "We'll also need a way out of this room. If he looks through that peephole and sees we're free, he can just leave us in here until we starve. We have to make sure he opens that door, and he's really paranoid about you." "Ummn." Kirika tugged experimentally on her bonds, alternately pulling on one arm, then the other. "The light is dim. Can we use that? Aditi is almost my height." "Good thought. Aditi," Mireille spoke up a bit, "can you bounce your chair over to your left so you're over by the wall? You other two stay where you are. Aditi, it's very important that this man get used to the idea that he can't see you from his peephole, understand?" Kirika wrinkled her brow as something occurred to her. "He said he had confederates." "Not to me, and I haven't seen any. Charlotte's been here for days, and she hasn't seen anybody else. I don't think he can afford to have any, based on what he seems to be up to." On the other side of the room, Aditi, Charlotte, and Tati had been holding a whispered conversation of their own. "Don't worry, they'll rescue us!" Aditi assured Charlotte. "Those two?" asked Charlotte, confused. "They're prisoners just like we are. How are they going to rescue us?" "They'll get free, you'll see," Tati expanded, "cause they're spies or detectives or jewel-thieves or something. They haven't told us which yet." "And why do you think they are any such thing? How long have you children known them?" "Just since yesterday, when they rescued us from the Baxes! Bang, bang, they shot all the bad guys dead, just like that!" Aditi said enthusiastically. "Basques, not Baxes!" corrected Tati. "And we weren't supposed to tell anybody about that!" "We have to prove they can rescue us!" "No, we don't! She can see for herself when they do!" Just then Mireille called for Aditi to move her chair. Straining, Aditi managed to get her toes to touch the floor. She see-sawed her way across the stone floor until her chair was touching the wall to the side of the door. Charlotte was unsure how much of what the girls were telling her she ought to believe. Two women, one a teenager, outfighting a Basque terrorist group? Preposterous! But then their captor had seemed to know the younger woman from some previous, violent- sounding encounter. The two women looked normal enough. "If you don't know what their job is, how do you know they're not criminals themselves? " "We know part of their job. They were talking about it and thought we couldn't overhear them." "Yes. It was in French, but we looked some of it up this morning. They said something about an oath, and a ceremony the day before yesterday," Tati remembered. "They were wondering whether the ceremony was responsible for them meeting us just in time to rescue us." Aditi scrunched up her face in thought. "What was it they said? Something about black hands and 'the peace of the newly born'..." Charlotte lifted her head abruptly. "WHAT!? Was it 'les mains noires protegent la paix des nouveaux-nes'?" "That sounds right," Tati said thoughtfully. "And they underwent a ceremony based on that oath TWO DAYS AGO?" "Umm, we think so." "Incredible. A group still engaging in religious practices based on the Langonel manuscript. What an incredible find!" Charlotte's eyes gleamed, but she bided her time rather than asking questions of the two women right away. Villagers practicing archaic religious forms, in her experience, did not respond well to questions from complete strangers. After a few hours, Kirika heard the faint sound of approaching footsteps. She sensitized herself to that sound even as she turned her head away from the peephole. She heard it open; their captor's eyes were sweeping the room. Could he see Aditi? As he opened the door, Gafori craned his neck around, checking for Aditi's whereabouts before entering, then relaxing. "My darlings, a precious opportunity has occurred to me, which I don't wish to waste. I'll have to ask these two lovely children to assist me in the preparation of my evening meal." Mireille and Kirika tensed involuntarily, then consciously relaxed themselves again. There was nothing they could do. "I shall untie you two children. My wants are quite simple, just go out the door to the freezer you'll see in the outer room and open it. Inside you will find a carcass; simply hack off a chunk of meat using the cleaver I keep there." Gafori untied Aditi, then Tati, then shepherded them out the door. Aditi approached the table and lifted the cleaver, then nodded to Tati, who grabbed Gafori's arm. Aditi rushed him, cleaver held high. "Children, children, children," Gafori admonished, shaking off Tati and then kicking her, hard, in the side. She collapsed to the floor, clutching her side. He caught Aditi's wrist on the downstroke, removed the cleaver from her hand, then wrenched her arm behind her back and marched her forward to the freezer. "You two are no match for me, and don't forget it. Now," he said, opening the freezer, "start chopping." Aditi gaped in horror. Inside the freezer was the naked body of a girl, a dead teenage girl, with most of one leg already chopped off. She collapsed, stomach heaving its remaining contents onto the floor. "If you're quite finished," Gafori said impatiently. "we can resume. Both of you children simply MUST cut me an additional slice of leg, if I have to swing your arms for you. Do we have an understanding?" Aditi wiped her mouth clean on the back of her right hand, grimly eyeing Gafori from where she huddled on the floor. She understood, all right. She understood what kind of a monster they were dealing with. What would Kirika and Mireille do in her shoes? Aditi knew the answer the moment she asked the question: Kirika, at least, would simply do as the man requested, biding her time. And so would she. - - - - - - - - - - A few hours later, Gafori again returned to the prisoner's room, this time wearing pajamas. Again, he craned his neck through the door and around carefully, making sure of Aditi's whereabouts before entering the room. At the sight of his pajamas, Charlotte let out a despairing moan. "I'm afraid it's time for my evening relaxation, ladies. Now, as visually appealing as I find the two of you," Gafori nodded towards Mireille and Kirika, "I find I really have no desire whatsoever to approach either of you closely. So I shall again make do with the not-quite-as-young Miss Merril." "Not in front of the children!" Charlotte cried, sobbing. "None of that, now, or I shall do it TO the children." "You would... you MONSTER!" Charlotte sobbed. With quick, practiced motions, Gafori untied Charlotte from her chair, then retied her, kneeling, to the back of the chair, tipped forward onto the ground. Another quick motion flipped her dress back over her head, then he kneeled behind her. "The view is missing something," Gafori commented as he set to work. "A dynamic element. Ah, I have it. You two ladies will have to get busy yourselves, or I shall hack off one of the children's legs as soon as I'm through and let her bleed. Protrude those talented tongues of yours and start licking." "Mireille?" Kirika whispered uncertainly. "Just do it," Mireille whispered back as she raised her head. "Buck your hips after a few minutes and cry out my name." When he was finished, Gafori retied the sobbing Charlotte to her chair, then left. Kirika set to work, alternately pulling one arm as tight as she could while stretching the other out. She tried raising her arms as far as possible. Ah, there: the rope was caught on something, a part of the bed, probably metal, possibly rusty or sharp, to judge from the parts of the bed visible to her. Kirika worked away into the night, not knowing how long her task would take, ignoring the desire to sleep, ignoring fatigue. This had to be done. As the hours passed, Kirika put herself into a trance, as she kept her arms moving. She had to stay alert enough to stop instantly when the peephole opened again. Finally, after what must have been quite a few hours, Kirika heard the faint noise of approaching steps and the sound of the peephole being opened. She hastily relaxed all her muscles and turned her face away from the door. The door opened. This time Gafori walked right in, turning his head to his right as he saw Aditi's chair against the wall. "Ah, there you are again, my delicate Indian flower. Anyway, your attention please!" Gafori clapped his hands for their attention. "It is now nine in the morning. I admit to having been somewhat stumped at just how to go about entertaining two such delightful children, but I have had an amusing thought. It involves two former business associates of mine, a venture of my misguided youth, you understand, involving the liberation of excess currency from vendors of intoxicating beverages. Those were great times." Gafori smiled reminiscently. "We got away with murder. Repeatedly." "Anyway, it has occurred to me that my two former compadres may, just may, have some slight inkling of my current preoccupation, and, given proper incentives, might be inclined to share what they know with the constabulary. And we just can't HAVE that, now can we? "The entertainment I have in mind involves two ordinary letter- openers, which items I shall busy myself in sharpening. You two little lambkins get to practice with this pencil, one rather incapable of impairing my health or your ropes. I will, of course, happily supervise this practice, as it necessarily involves freeing the two of you from your ropes. And we can't have any nimble fingers working away at the knots holding certain people captive, now can we? "The rules are as follows: I shall return at eleven o'clock this afternoon for said practice. At one o'clock I shall take these two charming children with me on a drive. Once we reach a suitable spot, I shall remain in the car with child number one and my gun; child number two will be equipped with said sharpened letter opener and depart the car. Former Business Associate Numero Uno, we hope, will be lunching at his usual spot, and the child number two will casually approach my former comrade, letter opener in hand, and hasten his departure from this doleful vale of woe without fanfare or fuss. "Should Child Two fail to expeditiously end my former comrade's life, I shall kill Child One. Should any alarm be raised before Child Two clears the area, I shall kill Child One. In either event I will return here to kill the rest of you. "Should all go exactly according to plan, we will go in search of Former Business Associate Number Two and repeat said procedure, only with the children's roles reversed. "At the successful conclusion of the above, we shall all three return here triumphant." Gafori smiled winningly, both hands raised, fingers beckoning. "Any questions?" "You CAN'T! They're just CHILDREN!" Charlotte pleaded. "Yes, yes, I know, my dear, I did notice. Now, if no questions, the lecture portion of your lessons may commence." - - - - - - - - - - Aditi and Tati looked at each other grimly, then looked at Kirika and Mireille. "Teach us," they said in unison. "You can't!" Charlotte cried. "You can't let these children commit cold-blooded murder!" "It's their decision, not mine," Kirika replied. "I don't have the right to decide what they should do. In their shoes..." she trailed off, unwilling to say it aloud. "They can't possibly succeed, they're too young! That monster will just kill them when they fail! Better that they not even start!" Charlotte pleaded. "They are both too young to have to do things like this," Mireille agreed sadly. "If we knew of a way to spare them, we would." "They are NOT too young to succeed," Kirika added sharply. Charlotte was about to reply nastily to that, but something in Kirika's tone shut her up. Everything she'd heard since meeting them agreed that this woman, barely eighteen, was supposedly an experienced, capable killer. How old had Kirika been when first sent on a similar mission? Mireille turned her head to the girls. "You don't have to do this, Aditi, Tati. If you do decide to, be sure you know what you're doing and why. This isn't like shooting back at people who are shooting at you. These men have done you no harm. If you kill them, it will change the rest of your lives. It must be YOUR decision. It's okay if you decide you can't." Kirika added, "Don't think of them as bad people. They may be, but everyone has someone who will be sad when they're gone." Tati looked somber, but Aditi looked defiant. "Are we beating your record or something? Are we younger than you were when you first killed?" Kirika stiffened. Mireille sighed. Tati replied to Aditi sharply. "Don't be such a jerkface!" Mireille spoke slowly, "I would not answer that question in any other circumstance I can imagine. But if it helps you two decide what to do..." Mireille felt a few hot tears fall onto her thighs. She saw first Tati, then Aditi, stiffen, their eyes widening. "I was a few years older than the two of you when I first killed someone in cold blood. His face still haunts me, sometimes." Mireille took a deep breath. "Kirika was younger than you are, by several years. I may be haunted, but Kirika carries wounds in her soul that she will never know the full extent of, sins she despairs of ever adequately atoning for." "Mireille..." Kirika cried. "I..." "Hush," Mireille whispered. "I'm here, Kirika. If I could hold you right now, I would. But we need to get out of this, Kirika. Just do what you have to." "Ummn." Kirika sniffed, recovering. "Well, you have to hold the letter opener horizontally. The best way is to slide it into the heart from the back, between the ribs, with one quick push. The hard part is missing the ribs. If he's sitting with his back on a solid chair, or wearing a bulky jacket so that you can't see his ribs, that won't work. In that case you have to either cut his spinal cord in the back of his neck, or cut the carotid artery in his throat." The lesson continued. As Charlotte listened to horror after detailed horror come from the mouth of this teenaged girl, she felt a growing sense of unreality. This couldn't be happening. It COULDN'T be that easy, that simple, to take human life. Tati and Aditi just listened, concentrating. When Gafori returned and untied them, the girls began practicing various one-handed thrusts of their pencils through the air and into the mattress of the bed. Two hours later, Gafori checked his watch with satisfaction. "Are we all quite prepared?" he asked brightly. Aditi and Tati scowled at him, but nodded in determination. - - - - - - - - - - Gafori drove the black Citroen slowly down the Allees de Tourny, then pulled into a free parking spot. The streets were busy at this time of day with shoppers and businesspeople enjoying a late lunch. The sidewalk cafes were doing a brisk business on this warm, sunny day. Birds flit about in the upper air, or swooped down to feed on stray crumbs dropped to the ground. "That's him, in the cafe to the right. The corner table. Sandy hair, clean-shaven, with the wife and kid. Rolled sleeves, drinking a beer. Got him?" Gafori asked Tati, who nodded slowly, eyes fixed on her prospective target. "Then get out slowly and do it. Remember, your friend here dies immediately if anything goes wrong. I'll be watching you with binoculars." Whitefaced, Tati nodded. "I understand." Tati opened the curb door slowly. Her right hand held the letter opener using a scrap of black cloth (a fragment of Mireille's panties), her fingers holding the handle so that the point rested against her right forearm. The man had a wife and baby! She took a deep breath, then, following Mireille's advice, she pushed the wife and child out of her awareness and focused only on her target. She had to do this, and without raising an alarm, or Aditi was dead. The man wore only a shirt, and was leaning forward, right arm gesturing wildly, as he angrily explained something to his wife, who nodded, once, eyes lowered. The ribs, then. Tati entered the cafe slowly, sweeping her head from side to side as if searching for someone, then walking briskly towards the table where her target sat, aiming to the right of him. Reaching the back of her target's chair, she purposely stumbled, left hand out to catch herself. Her left hand landed on her target's back, fingers spread. She found the fourth and fifth ribs by touch, then brought her right hand around as if to help pull herself back up. The letter-opener went in cleanly. She released its handle, leaving it in place, and palmed the cloth. "Pardon me," she said in carefully memorized French, then stood and brushed herself off without haste. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the target's wife's eyes upon her. Gritting her teeth, she looked up and smiled at the woman. "Are you all right?" the woman asked in French. "Your face looks pale." "So-so," Tati replied, then hurried off at a brisk walk. She was out of the cafe and almost back to the Citroen when she heard the woman's voice call, "Bertrand? BERTRAND?!" - - - - - - - - - - Back in the basement, Charlotte watched Kirika methodically work her arms back and forth. What WERE these two women? What was their connection with the Langonel manuscript? She went back over the text on the page her old professor had faxed her a few weeks previously. 'Ce mot designe depuis une epoque lointaine le nom du destin.' Some word (which word was not stated) designated a name of destiny during former times; this didn't seem to mean much. 'Le deux vierges regnent sur la mort.' Well, that was clearer; two maidens... Oh. Charlotte thought it over, but really, what did she have to lose? "Do the two of you really think you reign over death?" Kirika ignored her. Mireille turned her head towards Charlotte, perplexed. "WHAT?" "Your black hands, protecting the peace of the newly born. Do you really believe in all that?" Mireille's eyes widened. "You know about the Soldats?" "Who? All I know is one page of the Langonel manuscript. You're the two virgins, right? Who reign over death? Whose black hands protect the peace of the newly born?" Mireille paused, pursing her lips while she considered her reply. Any knowledge of the Soldats would put this woman in great danger. Best to say as little as possible. "We know about the manuscript. In fact, we may be the source of the page you saw, if you got it from Professor Chatel." "He said you were looking for the whole book, right? So that you could perform the ceremony the girls mentioned! You must have found more of the book! Where? Where did you find it? Can I see it?" "We don't have the book," Mireille replied neutrally. "We were told that it doesn't exist any more." "Altena had a copy," Kirika helpfully interposed. "It's probably still there, at the manor. Unless those men took it." Charlotte quivered in her bonds. "An intact copy? You must tell me where it is!" Mireille rolled her eyes. Great; an obsessed scholar. "We have to get out of here first. Then... we'll talk about it." - - - - - - - - - - The Citroen was now out into the suburbs. Tati now sat next to Gafori, shivering, while Aditi was next to the passenger door, left arm around Tati, trying desperately to comfort her. "He was a bad guy, Tati, just think of it like that," Aditi said pleadingly. "He had a wife and a baby," Tati murmured, miserable. "I looked her in the eyes. I heard her scream when she found what I did." "Tati, please: please snap out of it. You're alive. I'm alive." "I can't ever face her again, undo it. I can't ever make it better." Aditi glared at the monster tormenting them. "Can you PLEASE find this second guy? I have to- I have to join Tati. Be together with her again, in guilt. We have to be murderers together." "DO you now?" Gafori replied, smiling with delight. "Well, we're just coming up on him now." This afternoon's entertainment was proving to be more than he'd hoped for. "That's him helping the old woman with the cane, the thin guy in the sharp clothes. That's his mother on the other side, so the old woman's probably his grandmother." "You know JUST how to make it worse, don't you?" Aditi glared. "I do my best," Gafori replied airily. "Reminder: little Tati here dies if anything goes wrong. Get going." Aditi emerged from the car slowly, grimacing. Tati would feel better once Aditi shared her guilt; that was all that mattered. Plus Tati's life, of course. Whoops! While she'd been dallying, her target and his companions had seated themselves on a hard wooden bench. The ribs weren't going to work. It was going to have to be the back of the neck. As she approached, she watched her target fidget; it was clear he really didn't want to be there. Once he said something sharp to his mother, who retorted angrily; his grandmother remained seemingly oblivious to the exchange. Aditi drifted towards the back of the bench, angling to pass just behind it with the bench on her right. It was a small park: a fountain in the middle, a pair of old men playing chess off to the left, half-a-dozen kids to the right, running and shouting. Aditi wondered if she would ever feel like running and shouting again. Walk, girl, she told herself. Slowly, but not too slowly. Concentrate on the timing. Her target was just handing his grandmother birdseed, she saw. Some was already on the sidewalk in front of them, and a dozen birds had already landed and were feeding. The grandmother was smiling in delight. Without breaking stride, Aditi brought the letter-opener across her chest, point out, with her right hand, then thrust it as hard as she could into the back of her target's neck. She released it, palming the cloth with which she'd held it. She continued walking past the bench, suppressing the urge to turn around, to see what she'd just done, as well as the equally strong urge to run as fast as she could, and get as far away as she could. - - - - - - - - - - Kirika relaxed her arms and looked up just before the door opened. Both girls looked like they'd been crying, she noted, and were very pale. They'd done it, then. At their captor's brief instructions, both sat back down in their chairs passively, utterly without energy. Neither displayed the slightest will to resist as he tied them back up and left. "We can't abandon them now," Kirika said to Mireille. "We know how they feel. We can help them." "And nobody else can," Mireille finished. "We have to get them to talk about it. We'll have to know what kind of clues they've left behind." "Leave them alone!" Charlotte hissed. "They're heartbroken! It's all your fault!" Mireille ignored her. "Aditi, Tati, stop crying!" she commanded, then continued in a calmer voice, "The job isn't over until we're all free. There'll be time for sorrow afterwards. First thing: Aditi, get your chair back over by the wall." Still sniffling, Aditi nodded, then laboriously started moving her chair. "Did you leave any fingerprints?" Mireille asked both girls. "We both held the letter openers with the pieces of cloth, just like you said," Tati said. "And we both brought the pieces back. The only other surface I touched was the back of his shirt." "I didn't touch anything else," Aditi said. "How about witnesses? Anybody get a good look at either of you?" "I don't see how," Aditi replied. "Only the two women were close, and they didn't look up. If they looked up after I passed them, they could only have seen my back; I didn't turn around again. That part was as hard as you said," she conceded. "The target's wife," Tati broke into fresh sobs, "saw me up close. She said something to me, looked me in the eyes." "Before or after she learned what you'd done?" Mireille asked. "Before," Tati whispered, head down. "That's good. The chances are good that she forgot about you immediately, then. Or at least won't be able to describe you well." "What ARE you?" Charlotte whispered, face white. "How can you think this way? How can you talk about... what these two children have done, been forced to do... so CALMLY?" "Because I have to," Mireille replied, glaring back. "Kirika and I are going to do whatever it takes to get all five of us out of here alive. And we're going to win. Do you understand?" Charlotte looked back at Mireille, into those feral eyes. Kirika was giving her the same look, she saw. Something lay behind those eyes, something enormous. She concentrated a bit more; what was it? Something she felt rather than saw was settled like a cloak over the two women's shoulders... Sudden terror abruptly gripped her. Charlotte Merril screamed and fainted. When she came to, Charlotte didn't open her eyes immediately, afraid of what she'd see. But when she did, she was still looking at two ordinary women, naked and bound to a bed. "Did I really see..." she trailed off. "Are you all right?" Tati asked, concerned. "I... think so. It was just so unexpected. I just thought I saw, just for a moment, huge black wings, surrounding them like robes. I thought I was looking at a pair of angels, angels of death, coming in mercy. It was terrifying! But they're just normal women." "They're not normal," Aditi and Tati hissed indignantly. Kirika said nothing, still working her arms. - - - - - - - - - - It was hours later when Kirika finished sawing through the rope binding her arms. Gafori had not reappeared, either for dinner or for his bedtime 'relaxation'. Kirika worked her arms a bit to loosen them up, then knelt up, knees straddling Mireille's face. She turned her head to see how the ropes tying her legs were arranged, still wiggling her fingers to restore circulation. She flipped herself over so that she was sitting on Mireille's chest, then reached forward and untied the knots around her ankles. She briefly examined the cuffs around Mireille's wrists, but it was clear that, without the key or a lockpick, nothing was going to be done about them. Standing, she went through a few brief stretches. Finally she went over and knelt behind the dozing Aditi and untied her. Aditi woke up when Kirika pulled her to her feet, with a hand over her mouth. Kirika led Aditi over to the bed. "I have to tie you down in the exact position I was in," Kirika explained quietly. "Take all your clothes off." Aditi's eyes widened in understanding and she began undressing. Once done, Aditi lay down on top of Mireille. "A bit further forward," Mireille whispered. "That's it. Don't forget to mess up her hair and take the bandages off her hands. And rewrap them around her leg." Kirika ran both hands through Aditi's hair, doing her best to make it resemble her own mop-top. Then she tied Aditi's ankles to the ropes at the head of the bed and her wrists to the ropes at the foot. Kirika retied the rope strands together at the point where they'd parted due to her sawing. "If you leave the ropes loose, I can get up fast and help!" Aditi hissed, annoyed at being tied back down. "Too risky," Mireille replied. "Kirika won't need any help, Aditi, but your role here is very important. He'll never open that door again if he has the slightest reason to think that Kirika is free, understand? We'll all die here unless he believes that you're Kirika, and that Kirika is still tied to the bed. Just go back to sleep, but keep your face turned away from the door." "I got it; okay, already," Aditi muttered, then lay her head down and tried to go back to sleep. Kirika walked back to where Aditi's chair still sat. Two swift kicks dismantled it and produced a couple of sturdy, sharp sticks. She moved the remains of the chair back against the wall, then moved to the other side of the door, so she'd be on Gafori's left as he entered. - - - - - - - - - - Kirika came out of her standing doze as she heard the approaching footsteps. She flattened herself against the wall to her back. Aditi looked good, though a little too tense, she thought. Tati was looking fearfully at the door, which was right; Charlotte was tense and holding her breath, which was not quite right. Kirika took the time to clearly mouth "relax" at Charlotte even as she heard the peephole open. "Damn girl's against the wall again. I swear," she heard him mutter, then the door swung wide open and her target walked in, head swiveling to his right. Kirika struck for the back of the exposed neck with the pointed stick in her right hand, just as her left struck Gafori's left hand, in which he was holding a cleaver. He dropped the cleaver, but something must have warned him, because her strike on his neck missed the vertebrae, just leaving a nasty, bleeding gash on the side of his neck. Kirika ducked the return backhand, then dove over the follow-up kick, stabbing the man's belly as she went. Gafori's eyes were white, she noted, and his breathing was uneven. A quick shoulder-roll to her feet, then she was back again, stabbing and then weaving through his follow-up. She left her left-hand stick implanted in his abdomen, flipping the other stick from her right to her left hand. Ducking, she grabbed the dropped cleaver with her right. As she straighted, she moved her head just enough to avoid two quick, frantic punches, then swung the cleaver upwards into his groin. Gafori howled and folded over, eyes bulging. Kirika then brought the cleaver around and down on his exposed neck. His dying body collapsed heavily to the floor. Charlotte was gaping, her mouth working silently like a fish, Kirika noted absently as she recovered her breath. Kirika untied Tati, then let her see to Charlotte and Aditi. She stooped and checked the man's pockets and belt. She found a keyring, then tossed it to Tati. "Try these on Mireille's cuffs. I need to check out the rest of the house." Carrying the cleaver, Kirika ghosted out of the room. By the time she returned, everyone else was untied and stretching, and Aditi had her clothes back on. "There's nobody else in the house. We're clear to go." "You and I need clothes first," Mireille noted in amusement. "Let's head upstairs; we'll wear his. Ms. Merril, may I ask just what are you planning to say about this episode? And to whom?" "Me?" Charlotte Merril stood, hugging herself and slowly easing herself from one foot to the other. "I can't believe it. We're free. Alive. The monster's dead. You did it." She shook herself. "What CAN I say? If this ever made the newspapers, my name would be in print as a rape victim, and pointlessly so, with the perpetrator dead. The girls' names would be in print as cold- blooded murderers. I may not agree with everything you did, but I can't, I won't, see that happen to them. Not to ten-year-old girls. You don't have to worry; I won't say anything, ever." Mireille nodded. "Then let's get out of here and on the road to Paris as fast as we can. We'll take his car. Do you need to make any other stops here in Bordeaux?" Charlotte Merril shrugged. "Nobody knows I'm in Bordeaux at all. I just need one thing: can I have a bath first? I've been wearing these clothes for a week now!" Mireille laughed. "I think we can manage that." End. ALTERNATE VERSION One of the most mysterious and interesting aspects of the production of the End of Evangelion film centers around the live-action segment that appears towards the end of the movie. In the final version of the film, what we see are beautifully shot and composed images of daily Tokyo life. Swings, stray cats, commuters, trains, sky scrapers. A day in the life. However, this is not what was originally intended. This was first pointed out by Olivier Haque of the Japan.Anime.Evangelion newsgroup. He described what was claimed to be the original transcript of this live-action segment as written by director Hideaki Anno. When this was reported to the Evangelion ML that Bochan_bird and I are members of, it caused quite a fury. After digging a bit through the plethora of Japanese Evangelion websites, he found the source of this information in the form of a website. This website can be accessed here (Japanese only). After reading through it, he concluded that it was too detailed and well-constructed to be a prank or a piece of fan-fiction. Coupled with the Evangelion theatrical trailer, which used scenes filmed for this version of the live-action segment, we both strongly believe that this is authentic and indeed was what Anno originally envisioned. What follows is Bochan_bird's English translation of the live-action transcript that is hosted on the Japanese website. Why Anno abandoned this version and replaced it with the version we see in the final film remains a mystery. But what we are left with is an incredibly fascinating look at what might have been. Enjoy. ________________________________________ Episode 26' "Sincerely Yours" New script draft (6th revision, for in-house consideration) Live-action film part In the EoE screenplay draft, this live-action (reality) film part follows the flashed images and jumbled women's voices ("I hate you," etc.) at about the same place as the live-action part in the second half of the finished EoE film. The EoE theatrical trailer shows excerpts (images/dialog) taken from this originally planned reality film. (Note: The question marks (? ? ?) also appear in the screenplay draft.) =================================== The film changes to a world that is not "cel animation". * This is the start of the "reality film" part. (Everyday life is portrayed in as raw a manner as possible like a documentary film.) Here, "reality" itself is shot on film, making it a "reality film". Asuka waking up. (24 years old) 6-mat (9' x 12') one-room apartment. (extremely "lived-in" feel) TV sounds can be heard from the lower apartment. A naked man lies sleeping next to her on the bed. Asuka raises her upper body and stares blankly. (camera = bird's eye view) Asuka: "A dream?" [Eye-catch] B? type only. English title: "I need you." • 6-mat one-room apartment. Clothing and a bra lie scattered on the messy floor where they were cast off last night. Asuka sits up. Naked man sleeping next to her. (face not shown) Asuka: "Idiot Touji?" Touji sleeps sprawling on the bed. (about 24 years old) Asuka: "I see. I drank on the way home from work and ended up sleeping with this jerk again." (not sure, but Kobe dialect) Asuka: "Lately when we see each other that's all we do..." Asuka: "Men...You let them do it with you once and from then on that's all there is. I wonder if they think about anything else..." Asuka: "Well, I guess if you do it once, then it's no different from a hundred times." Asuka makes an unpleasant face. (The inside of her mouth feels disgusting.) She grabs her panties and a shirt (men's) off the floor, puts them on, and gets out of the bed. • Bathroom sink Asuka gargling/rinsing out her mouth. Asuka: "*gag* Yeeeck! There's still some left in my mouth." Asuka: "That idiot, always dodging the issue like that and refusing to commit. Even though we both know it's just convenient excuses to make do for the moment." Asuka: "But things proceed and before you know it we're living together. How did -that- happen?" • Kotatsu (note: small square table with a heater and a quilt) Misato waking up. Same type of 6-mat one-room apartment. (but appearing even older and more "lived-in") Misato: "A dream?" Misato: "A bad dream. I wonder if I'm balancing my stress..." Misato: "Things could never work out with that man now...absolutely impossible." Misato: "Well, I guess it's no use complaining about reality in your dreams." A man and woman arguing loudly (lover's quarrel) can be heard from the lower apartment. The man (Touji) speaks Osaka dialect and the woman (Asuka) speaks Kobe dialect. Misato makes a disgusted face. Misato (lethargically): "And now of course the live-in couple is just going to start the peacemaking ritual again..." The sounds of the quarrel cease abruptly. Misato: "See, they're getting ready." The phone rings. Misato slithers out from the kotatsu and picks up the phone in an annoyed manner. (Shall we compose this scene as a ??nakanuki?? shot?) Misato (lethargically): "Oh, Ritsuko." Misato: "The upcoming vacation? Sure, no problem. Okay, okay." Ritsuko: "Really? But didn't you already have plans? Misato: "Canceled without a doubt. There's no way I'd visit back home now. They'd arrange some marriage meeting and I'd be done for." Loud "female moans" are heard from the lower apartment. Ritsuko: "What was that? Are you watching porno flicks at your age? Misato: "Not a chance. It's the neighbors -- the neighbors. Like cats in heat, they never seem to tire of it. Night after night -- it's like they don't have anything else to do; not another care in the world. Ritsuko: "Oh, how lively. Sounds like fun." Misato: "You're just saying that because you don't have to live with it." Ritsuko: "But didn't you say that your neighbor had just gotten a new boyriend?" Misato: "That's right, and they're already living together. And they're so young." Ritsuko: "It's their youth that lets them do it." Misato: "Men just want a mother figure who'll spoil them, and women become intoxicated with the comfort that situation provides. It's just two lonely people making a couple. It doesn't look like it'll last long. They'll probably hit the breakup battle stage soon." Ritsuko: "Inference based on personal experience, huh?" Misato: "Common sense. Why do you think mothers don't let their children go? Because mothers need their children. Without a child a mother cannot exist. This is the same thing -- it's so stupid. • New Tokyo 2 - panorama view (mat and CG composition) If possible, a light dusting of snow? ? ? Tiled roofs. Telephone poles. A pile of garbage bags (unburnable garbage) printed with the New Tokyo 2 City logo. A steel tower for high-voltage lines in the middle of the town. A railroad crossing. A mass of bicycles parked in front of a station. A row of pay phones. Misato and Asuka run into each other unexpectedly somewhere in the apartment complex and exchange greetings and small talk. The two are polite toward each other, and the conversation is superficial and light. (Misato holding a garbage bag?) ? ? ? etc. Images of daily life. (play BGM /M? 15?) The camera follows the back of a woman riding a bicycle, ringing the bell. *rattle* Close-up of leg setting bicycle kickstand. *click* Close up of hand removing bicycle lock key. The bicycle nameplate shows Asuka's address and full name. Bicycle parking lot. Asuka's back as she walks quickly toward the station. (Attach the camera to your hand.) Asuka: "Aah -- that neighbor lady. Wasting my time with pointless talk!" Asuka: "Shit! Now I'll never make that :31 express. Jeez she pisses me off!" Sound of a linear rail train passing over the viaduct. • Workplace Coffee room. Numerous coffee-makers around the room hum noisily. Two girls in work uniforms stand in the room, methodically changing the pots/filters. Rei (without looking at Asuka): "Why don't you just break up? It's a lot easier that way." Asuka (without looking at Rei): "Yeah, I guess so." (trying to speak standard Japanese at the company) Rei: "Of course, that's just cheap methodology." Rei: "If you leave things vague and just try to put on a good face, you'll only get hurt." Rei: "There's nothing worse than an obsessed/brooding man." Rei: "There's no telling what he'll do. Rei: "Just like a spoiled brat." Asuka: "Senpai, did something happen?" ? ? ? The dialog drama continues thereafter with the location changing here and there. Only the dialog links the time-line. Elevator, escalator, lunch, on the roof, a nearby convenience store, a box lunch shop, etc. Rei: "So what's the problem? You get romance and at the same time your sexual appetites are satisfied." Asuka: "But it doesn't feel like that. The seductive inner feelings are only at the start, and now it's just like a condom that's been all used and stretched out. Even when we're together it's like we're immersed in daily routine, just floating along aimlessly. Asuka: "Aaargh! -- It's not romatic in the least!" Rei: "You don't really know if it's love until after you hang up the phone." Asuka: "Huh? Really?" Rei: "When you're doing it, it seems like the purpose is just to overlap your bodies, and there's no warm, fuzzy feeling. You're just ravenous toward each other. Asuka: "Whenever we put a little distance between us, I get confused and wonder whether I even really like him." Asuka: "It's the same old pattern every time where I think that maybe I'm just forcing myself to believe that I like him." Asuka: "It won't last for long. I have a pretty short stance." Rei: "You're pretty cold-hearted, but you just become attached pretty easily, don't you -- like keeping a dog." Rei: "And you're the type that recklessly and willfully causes men to misunderstand." Asuka: "He's quick to say he's stupid as an evasion tactic." Rei: "That's because he thinks that if the word "stupid" comes from his own mouth he'll be forgiven." Asuka: "He does it because he thinks he can always get my sympathy." Rei: "That's because he's afraid if he doesn't have excuses ready. Because afterwards he'll only end up hurting himself." Asuka: "He's a nuisance, seriously -- always ringing my cellphone at work." Asuka: "But then, when he doesn't call I get really irritated and upset..." Rei (rather coldly): "That's just selfishness on your part, isn't it?" Everyday scenes. A cluster of hi-rise buildings against a mountain-ridge line. (CG composition / can we just casually slip this in somewhere?) Asuka walking through the city. (waiting for a signal to change?) The camera continues to follow her back. (like a bird's-eye view) Shinji's voice (abruptly): "Asuka" Asuka turns to face the camera. Instantly the camera hides behind a telephone pole with a low angle. (as if it was suddenly afraid) Crane close-up shot of Asuka turning and continuing to walk as if nothing had happened. The camera follows her again. (from the perspective of an invisible Shinji) Shinji's voice (abruptly again): "I'm not here." The film frame feed stops suddenly. (creaking sound of motor slippage) Then Shinji's voice is heard over the forcibly stopped scene. Shinji's voice: "This isn't reality. It's a world without me." Shinji's voice: "Even if I'm not here, the world doesn't change." Shinji's voice: "Only the relationships with me have disappeared." Shinji's voice: "That's right, I'm not here." Rei's voice (left): "You were taking revenge on reality with convenient dreams." Shinji's voice: "Is that bad/wrong?" Rei's voice (right): "You were fleeing into dreams, and glossing over the truth." Shinji's voice: "Is it wrong to dream!?" Rei's voice: "That is not a dream. It is just an illusion. A compensation for reality." The film rips suddenly. (special effects) Cel animation screen appears suddenly. The characters in this story belong to their respective creators and rights holders. Ranma 1/2 is the creation of Rumiko Takahashi. Sailor Moon is the creation of Naoko Takeuchi. All original content is the creation of Samuel Phoenix. Recognition is given to Harold Ancell who has been a near constant source of input, information, and ideas. Circumstance and Consequence Prologue: Happy Birthday to Me... PsyckoSama (syp104@psu.edu) From the roof of the Tendo home, Saotome Ranma gazed at the sunset and basked in his own self-pity. In his hand was a single blue frosted bakery cupcake crowned by a single small candle. It was the solitary marker he had seen all day to commemorate the date of his birth, and he had bought it himself. This really irked him. Everyone else had birthdays. The Tendo sisters had rather garish affairs. Shampoo and even Mousse celebrated the Amazon way. Hell even Ryouga got a happy birthday and a pat on the back when he showed up. What did Ranma get? He got nothing, absolutely nothing. Not a celebration, not a cake, and even a single utterance of “Happy Birthday, Ranma”. It was like they didn’t care. He was the center of the all the chaos in Nerima. They had all done crazy things, life altering things directly because of him. He couldn’t leave or escape, because they would hunt him down to the ends of the earth just to start the same crap all over again. Did they care? That was the question, and in his mind all signs pointed to no. They couldn’t give a damn about him, or what he felt. If they did, the madness that was slowly draining his confidence, would have ended long ago. His very will to live was draining away. He was tough, but he was only human. Never a moment’s peace, just constant anarchy with no respite. No matter what he did, it was never enough. He couldn’t get rid of them, but he would rather die then forsake any one of them. It pained him to admit it, but they were his only friends. That is what made it just that much more pathetic. With friends like his, you’d rather have enemies. Part of him wanted it to end, but he could only see one out, Seppuku, but he really couldn’t consider that an option. That would be giving up, and Saotome Ranma *never* gave up. No matter the odds, no matter the situation, no matter how many times he fell on his face, he always will win in the end. That is what has kept him alive, the hope of a brighter tomorrow where he could be happy and at peace. Unfortunately, hope can die... and his was slowly waning. “Oh, fuck it,” grumbled the disgruntled youth as he cast away the cupcake. He was not Ryouga. He was not the type to sit around and feel sorry for himself. He was not a victim, he was a fighter, and tonight he would do something to fight this crap! But first, he really needed a drink... ----------------------------- Ranma looked at the place where he would get his poison. The guys from school were always acting as if this place was something special because they carried lots of imported liquor. Of course, at his college, there were too damn many Americans, and they probably just appreciated the reminder of home. Ranma could not see the appeal. A bar was a bar. You went there to get drunk, not for silly nostalgic reasons. He looked at the place for a moment. It was nothing special. A normal out of the way hole in the wall with a large neon sign simply labeled “Jack’s” in English. “Oh well,” remarked Ranma. Time to get smashed. The youth slowly slipped through the door and looked at the interior. Someone had gone to a lot of effort to make this place look like an old American style tavern. With a shrug he walked over to the bar and sat down. “Hey, gimme something strong!” The barkeep, a graying Gaijin in his mid fifties turned to the martial artist. “How old are you, kid?” He asked with a very heavy American accent. “Eighteen... No, wait. I’m Nineteen.” mumbled Ranma, wondering what this was about. The man behind the bar gave Ranma a dirty look, and said, “Kid, you do realize the legal drinking age is twenty. Come back next year.” Ranma sighed. This was wonderful! He was old enough to go through daily hell, be forced into marriage, and kill a fucking god, but he could not get a drink. “I’m sorry for bothering you, sir.” With a scowl on his face, he started back outside, pushing his way through the crowded bar. He never got a break. ----------------------------- Setsuna sighed to herself as she gazed across the bar of Jack’s, her personal haunt. It was the best place in the area to get imported liquor. She really hated Japanese booze. She guessed her centuries of traveling the world had given her a sensitive pallet. She looked down at her whisky shot. Was this her tenth or her eleventh? She gulped it down, then thought about the travesty that was her life. Oh, how she longed the travel to world, to once again visit the avenues of Paris, the fast paced bustle of New York, the classical charm of Rome and Athens, or one of a thousand other location she had been in her life. She had always relocated at least one every ten years. It spared her the pain of watching friends and lovers grow old and die before her eyes. The rebirth of the Senshi was both the best and worse thing that had happened to her in many, many years. They gave her both hope that her ten millennia of suffering would come to a happy conclusion, and a connection to the long dead civilization of her birth. She had been in Japan twenty years, ever since the rebirth of Neptune and Uranus. For the first time in thousands of years she was not able to run from death. Once again she had to watch friends and lovers, people she knew and cared about slowly rot away with the passage of time. Her immortality was a dire curse. Most people would love to live forever, but they did not understand the cost. You were doomed to be alone. Everyone you would ever meet was doomed to die in what amounted the blink of an eye. What was a human lifespan to a person who lived outside of time? That is why she was heading to this bar. To drink away her pain, and maybe find someone special for the night, so that for one moment she could have a connection with another human being. She just wanted a split second where she was not alone in the world. Setsuna was thrown out of her emotional monologue by a sharp impact as some one knocked into her shoulder. The impact upset the balance of her barstool, and sent her flying backwards. She winced as she prepared for the impact with the cold hardwood floor, but it never came. She slowly opened her eyes, and looked directly into a beautiful pair of gray-blue orbs. Eyes which mirrored her own suffering. “Err... I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to knock you over,” muttered the blushing young man who owned the eyes, as he helped Setsuna back to her feet. “I’ll be going now.” He murmured as he walked away. Setsuna smiled. The boy was very handsome, and she could tell that there was something special about him. She was not letting this one go that easy. She grabbed the young man’s arm, “Wait a second, at least let me buy you a drink. Most people would have just let me fall on my ass.” “Sorry. I’m not old enough,” he replied with a nasty expression. “The guy behind the bar refused to serve me. Guy can’t even get a drink when he’s having a bad day...” Setsuna shrugged, sat back down, and pulled Ranma onto the stool next to her. “Don’t worry, I’ll handle it.” She turned to the barkeeper and said, “Hey, Jack! Two shot of Whisky. One for me, and one for my friend here.” The old gaijin shot Setsuna a sour look. “Setsuna, you know how I feel about serving those damn ignorant college kids...” “Jack, just shut up and give me my drinks,” replied Setsuna in a sarcastic tone. “Fine... but if this brat drinks himself into a stupor, it’s your problem,” grumbled the old bartender. Setsuna just glared at the man, who sighed and poured the drinks. “Drink up, kiddo!” said Setsuna jut before choking down her shot. Ranma looked at the miniscule glass. The only alcohol he had ever had was sake and maybe some beer. He slowly lifted the glass and swallowed the brown liquid within. He gagged. This stuff was nasty! “I take it you don’t drink much,” commented the green haired beauty who was sitting at his side. Ranma shrugged, “Not really... What’s your name anyway?” The woman smiled and replied. “My name is Meiou Setsuna, and you’re...” “Saotome Ranma,” replied the young martial artist. “So Saotome-san, fancy another drink?” “Sure, this time I’ll cover it,” he said as he pulled out his wallet. Setsuna chuckled to herself. “Buying a lady a drink... what a gentleman!” Ranma couldn’t help but laugh with her. It was not all that funny, but her laughter was infectious. The barkeep quickly refilled their drinks and was on his way. Almost in unison, they gulped down the hard liquor. “So, why are you so glum?” inquired Setsuna. Ranma sighed and looked down at the empty shot glass before him. “No one remembered my birthday...” “Well, then... Happy Birthday, Saotome Ranma!” Ranma blushed slightly, and looked down. “You, a perfect stranger, are the only person who wished me a happy birthday. Not my friends, not my enemies, not my fiancées, not even my damn parents. They didn’t give a damn....” Setsuna blinked and gave Ranma a funny look. “Fiancées? Plural?” Ranma looked turned his head to the woman. “Yeah, I got three of em... It’s all my old man’s fault. He would engage me to lots of girls then run off with the dowry, and not I’m stuck with his mess.” “That man should be shot on general principle.” “Yeah, I almost agree with you,” chuckled Ranma. He paused for a moment then said, “Most people don’t believe me when I tell them that.” She replied with a shrug. “I’ve seen a lot in my day, and you seem like the honest type. Just call me jaded.” “Well, at least there is one person in the world who is not out to get me! I swear, everyone I ever meet is out to kill me, marry me, or possibly both!” exclaimed the pigtailed youth. He paused for a moment, and turned his head to Setsuna. “So, what’s your story.” Setsuna froze for a moment, lost in thought. “I... I’m a wanderer, a person without a place to call my own. I travel the world, never allowing myself to get tied down.” “Why.” “I... I don’t want to talk about it. It’s painful.” Ranma nodded. “I understand.” Setsuna chuckled lightly and shook her head. “No, you don’t.” Ranma’s eyes narrowed slightly, and he replied. “Yes, I do. I am, or at least was a wanderer too. I spend ten years on the road training to be a martial artist. I had no friends, no family, and no roots. Just the Art and my baka old man.” He paused, then continued, “And at least you can run from your demons. Mine will hunt to the end of the earth, and maybe then some.” Setsuna slowly cracked a dour smile. “So, maybe you do.” It was at that moment that their drinks were refilled. With a smile, Setsuna slowly lifted her shot, as did Ranma. The green haired Senshi held her drink toward Ranma, and with a look of irony on her face she said, “Here’s to misery and the good company it brings!” Ranma chucked and bumped his glass against hers. “Cheers!” The two continued to drink and talk for over an hour. After about ten or twenty more shots Setsuna’s alcohol resistance began to wear down while Ranma’s superhuman constitution began to give up. Through slightly hazed vision, Setsuna looked over the young man at her side. Damn, he was cute. He was nice too, and they could actually sympathize with each other’s problems. That in its self was something rare. He might be just what she was looking for... “Ranma?” asked Setsuna. The pigtailed youth smiled stupidly at the woman by his side. “Yeah, Set-chan?” Setsuna blinked. “Set-chan?” The drunken teen shrugged. “Hey, you look like a Set-chan to me.” “Okay, fine. But if you call me Set-chan, I get to call you, Ran-chan.” Ranma winced a little. “If you gotta... but I got some rough memories of that nickname.” Setsuna shrugged. “Fine them I guess we’ll have to add some good ones to it, eh Ran-chan?” “Fine with me!” laughed Ranma. “so, what ya wanna ask me.” Setsuna’s eye narrowed slightly, and she smiled seductively. “So, Ran-chan, you wanna stop by my place, hang out for a while, maybe have some fun?” This invite shocked Ranma clear out of his drunken haze. “Hey, Set-chan, the last think I need is another girl out to marry me!” Setsuna laughed. “I never mentioned anything of the sort. All I’m asking is for you to be my friend. Someone I can talk to. A best friend with ‘benefits’.” Ranma gulped. “Yeah, but sex don’t got nothin’ to do with that!” “Oh my naive little Ran-chan. That is the ‘benefits’. All I want from you is friendship, and maybe some casual sex, and nothing more. I’m not going to try and kill you or marry you,” commented Setsuna. Ranma looked at the beautiful woman who was offering herself to him. His mind was in conflict. His warning signals were flaring. This could mean nothing but trouble. To do so would be betraying his fiancées. His fiancées? What they hell did he care about their feelings? They just showed him how much they cared about him. They never listened to him, they always hit him, they treated him like a piece of meat, and they didn’t even care enough to even say Happy Birthday! On the same note, Setsuna’s offer sounded great: a real friend to talk to, and someone to help blow off three years of pent up sexual tension. That he could work with. The look of panic on Ranma’s face slowly rose into a sly little smile. In a low, sure of himself voice he said, “Sure thing.” The characters in this story belong to their respective creators and rights holders. Ranma 1/2 is the creation of Rumiko Takahashi. Sailor Moon is the creation of Naoko Takeuchi. All original content is the creation of Samuel Phoenix. Recognition is given to Harold Ancell who has been a near constant source of input, information, and ideas. Circumstance and Consequence Chapter 1: A New Perspective Part 1 PsyckoSama ( syp104@psu.edu) Ranma slowly opened his eyes to the harsh glare of the morning sun, and smiled. He had done something. He winced at the horrible pun, but it was true. He *had* done something, and he didn’t mean the sex. He had made up his mind. Last night had affirmed so much that he had heard but never experienced. He was in the prime of his life, and he’d be damned if he’d throw away his new found freedom. His father, the girls, and all his rivals could go straight to hell. He was going to life his own life, have some fun. If he had to sneak around their backs to do it, then so be it. Ranma smirked and looked down, to gaze upon his lover, who was draped over him. Set-chan was very cute. No, she was not cute. “Cute” was something for girls, and Setsuna was no girl. She was a woman. A *hot* woman. She had the body of a supermodel, a sensitive soul, and with a wince he noted, the ability to snore so loudly that it would put a chainsaw to shame. Slowly he began to maneuver out of her grip. She really deserved an undisturbed sleep after the “busy” night they had shared. Ranma began to carefully maneuver out her grasp. Once he was free, he began to sit up, but was stopped by a firm tug on his pigtail. Setsuna yawned, and looked Ranma in the eyes. “Where do you think you’re going?” “I didn’t wanna wake ya up, Set-chan” replied Ranma. Setsuna chuckled, and shook her head. “No problem, Ran-chan. I’m fine...” She smiled coyly and continued, “but do you really know what I could use?” “Err... what?” Setsuna’s smiled widened, and she pulled Ranma down onto the bed. As soon as he had hit the bed, she threw her leg over his waist and whispered in his ear, “Another go around.” Ranma smirked. This woman could not get enough of him! Not that he minded. That she was beautiful, nice, and didn’t beat him with blunt objects went without mention. With both the tactile sensation of her pressed up against him, and the delight of looking upon her curvaceous, perfectly toned body, he rose to the occasion. With a smile on he face, he pulled the green haired beauty into a long kiss. “I can’t see why not...” ----------------------------- Setsuna smiled as she snuggled into the arms of her lover. Wild Horse indeed! Ranma had more energy then she knew what to do with! This in itself amazed her. He past lovers had oft commented that her lusts were neigh insatiable. Last guy she could remember that could keep up with her was Ragnar back in the 900s AD. Nothing like a 7ft Viking warrior to make a woman feel like a woman! With a glance at Ranma she wondered, who could get enough? The young buck was a cutie, and it had been far to long since she had ‘tasted’ the real thing. Twenty-five years was just too long a time... She looked up at Ranma and smiled. She’d be walking like a cowboy, but maybe just one more time. Slyly she kissed the young man on the lips, and purred, “Well, lover... tenth time’s a charm?” Ranma chuckled and squeezed her tightly. “Set-chan... I think I’ll start lose all feelin’ down there if we keep this up...” Setsuna smirked and let her hand wander downwards. Once she felt what she was looking for, she gave it a firm grasp. She was rewarded with a lout “eep”, and a jump backwards from Ranma. She wondered how some one could be so enthusiastic one moment then be so shy the next. With a giggle, she shrugged it off. Either way, it was cute. Looking at Ranma, who’s face was burning red, she asked, “Now can you feel it?” The pig tailed you gave a brief nod. “Yeah, but I really don’t think I got the time….” Setsuna sighed, and rolled away from him. In a melodramatically forlorn tone she said, “Oh, but I want to play some more!” “Me too,” chuckled Ranma, “but I gotta get home before the fiancées get paranoid.” Setsuna sighed, and shook her head. Pinching Ranma’s cheek, she said, “I don’t think so my adorable little Ran-chan. I’m not letting go of you THAT easly.” “Hey,” replied Ranma, “I though we were just friends with ‘benefits’! Ya said you weren’t gonna rope me into anything.” Setsuna giggled and released him. “Ranma, you are *so* cute when you’re paranoid.” “So, you ain’t gonna try and do anything like marrying me?” asked Ranma. He obviously still having trouble believing that there was a woman on earth who DIDN’T want to marry him. Teasing him was apparently not an option. She would have to make her plans obviously clear. “Yes,” confirmed Setsuna. “I’ll be quite happy with an occasional pony ride, thank you very much.” “So, why can’t I go?” asked the martial artist. A Cheshire Cat grin slowly made it’s way onto Setsuna’s face. “You’re not leaving my presence until we’ve at least had breakfast. Nothing like a night of carnal sin to build up an appetite!” Ranma’s stomach answered with a loud rumble. “Now you’re talking!” Setsuna slowly got off the bed, her motions smooth and deliberate like the slither of a snake. Once she was up, she slowly stretched, bringing attention to every single one of the curves of her well-toned body. She wanted to make it damn clear that she was a prime specimen of womanhood. While she wouldn’t always show it, she just loved the attention. ----------------------------- With the click of a turning key, and a slow, labored creak, the front door to the house opened. In from the cold of the late winter morning walked Haruka and Michiru. Tiredly the two filed in, dragging their night bags. Once they were clear of the doorway and inside the house, Michiru lazily kicked the door shut. Michiru yawned and glanced at her lover. “Haruka, next time you have a race in Hokkaido, I’m not interested.” Haruka shrugged. “You insisted. Besides, its not my fault you couldn’t get any sleep on the train.” Michiru glared at her lover. Haruka blinked. “Hey, it’s true...” “I know its true, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it,” grumbled Michiru. “You know, you get grouchy when you’re tired...” Michiru shot Haruka a dirty look, then sniffed the air. “Hey, something’s cooking.” Haruka blinked. “Looks like Hotaru is still at Chibi-Usa’s, does that mean...” Michiru nodded. “Looks like it.” In one bewildered voice they muttered, “Setsuna’s cooking?” That was a surprise to both of them. From the whole two times she’d actually cooked a meal in the last two years, the knew that Setsuna was a masterful chef, but the simple fact was: she didn’t like to cook. If Setsuna had to choose between starvation and actually touching a pot and pan, she wouldn’t eat. Haruka and Michiru both wondered how she’d survived before living with them. They suspected a great deal of cup-ramen and takeout. They both dropped their bags and began to stealth towards the kitchen. If Setsuna was cooking something couldn’t be right. Was this the sign of a Dark Kingdom plot, or was Haruka just being exceptionally paranoid? The two peered around the corner and were surprised by what they saw. Setsuna was dressed in an apron, and men’s Chinese shirt that was several sizes to large. It made an effective dress, preserving her modesty while leaving her long shapely legs clear to view. Michiru punched Haruka in the arm for looking too long. Her hair was a mess. Usually, Setsuna was an early riser, bathed and perfectly groomed by the time everyone else managed to get up in the morning. Today she looked like she just barely managed to pull herself out of bed and down the steps. Setsuna was humming while she cooked. She looked unusually happy, all but dancing around in place, moving with an unusual bow-legged bounce to her step. “This is not normal,” muttered Haruka. “Yeah,” Michiru said with a nod. She paused for a moment and added, “I looks like she got laid.” They looked at each other and shook their heads. “Nagh...” From their prospective, Setsuna looked about as sexually active is your average igneous rock. She never looked at boys, was not interested in girls, so the very idea of Setsuna getting some was just alien to them. The other door to the kitchen slip open, and as almost a counterpoint to their denial in walked Ranma clad only in boxers and a smile. ”No way...” they both muttered in one voice. Ranma walked behind Setsuna and grinned, slipping his hands around her and cupping her full breasts. “Smells great, Set-chan.” Setsuna twisted around, and smiling brightly, she kissed Ranma on the lips. “Well, Ran-chan, I don’t cook much but I...” Her eyes narrows slightly and her gaze bored right into Haruka and Michiru. “What are you two doing here?” she asked. “Ah, we live here...” Haruka snapped. “And who the hell is this guy.” Setsuna scowled. “He’s none of your business, Haruka. Now, what the hell are you doing sneaking around like a couple of third rate ninja?” “You’re actually cooking...” Michiru wondered to herself. “Yes, I am,” Setsuna stated bluntly. “You never cook...” “I cook for friends.” “Never cook for us...” “You’re not that kind of friend.” “Hey,” Haruka interrupted, “It’s not like we haven’t offered.” “I’ve told you before, I don’t do girls...” “Set-chan,” Ranma interrupted, “Who are these people?” “Ranma, meet my roommates, Haruka and Michiru. Haruka, Michiru, meet Ranma... now go away.” Ranma waved hello. Haruka scowled. “Setsuna, this could be a…” Haruka began before she was cut off by Setsuna. “Haruka, say a word and I will have to hurt you. You can your paranoia to yourself for once.” “But...” “Shush!” “Setsuna you’re being inma…” “Shush!” “I’m serious…” “Ever here a story about the man named Shush!” “Oh, come on, now you’re not even being…!” “And another one bites the SHUSH!” Michiru sighed and looked at Setsuna. “Been watching Austin Powers again I see…” Haruka turned toward Michiru and began to speak but was hushed by Michiru putting her finger to her lips. “Shush.” “Not you too!” Michiru smiled eloquently. “Lets give Setsuna her privacy. I feel like going out for breakfast.” “But…” Brooking no argument, she took her lover by the arm and all but drug her out the door. Setsuna sighed “Well now that they’re gone…” She turned around and blinked. “Ranma?” --------------------------- “This was a bad idea!” Ranma muttered as he pulled on his pants upstairs. “They’re going to find out and they’re going to kill me.” Slipping on his shit he growled. “Never a break…” “Ranchan?” Ranma turned around and sighed, looking at the beautiful, robe-clad woman standing in the doorway. “I’m sorry, Setchan, but the crap in my life never stops...” “Trust me, Haruka’s always like that. It’s not you.” Ranma sighed. “I wish I could believe that” She laughed and walked over to him, and put her arms around him. He flinched at her touch. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing,” he replied. “If it was nothing then you would not be so tense.” Ranma looked down and sighed. “Listen, my life is just crazy…” Setsuna laughed and sat down next to him. She sighed deeply, and smiled. “You don’t have a monopoly on strange. Trust me.” Ranma smiled. “I wish I could believe that.” Setsuna laughed and grabbed him by the arm. “Come on! You still need to bathe, and I hate to cook, so you better not be wasting my time!” Ranma laughed. He guessed he could stay. No Saotome man had ever turned down a free meal… NOTES: This has been on my HD for the better part of a year with no change. I have another half a page that has had me stuck for all that time. If anyone is interested in helping me get out of my damn slump, lets talk... please AIM/YIM: Psyckosama The 213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to Do in the U.S. Army 1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when I'm supposed to be working. 2. My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz' not 'Princess Anastasia'. 3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic. 4. Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair. 5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants. 6. Not allowed to play 'Pulp Fiction' with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer. 7. Not allowed to add 'In accordance with the prophesy' to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me. 8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don't like to War Criminal posters. 9. Not allowed to title any product 'Get Over it'. 10. Not allowed to purchase anyone's soul on Government time. 11. Not allowed to join the communist party. 12. Not allowed to join any militia. 13. Not allowed to form any militia. 14. Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo. 15. Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to 'Sic Brass!' 16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my 'Sampson like powers'. 17. God may not contradict any of my orders. 18. May no longer perform my now (in)famous 'Barbie Girl Dance' while on duty. 19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I'm right. 20. Must not taunt the French any more. 21. Must attempt to not antagonize SAS. 22. Must never call an SAS a 'Wanker'. 23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they've been smoking crack. 24. Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if it's true. 25. Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one. 26. Never tell a German soldier that 'We kicked your ass in World War 2!' 27. Don't tell Princess Di jokes in front of the paras (British Airborne). 28. Don't take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times). 29. The Irish MPs are not after 'Me frosted lucky charms'. 30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash. 31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions. 32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post. 33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody. 34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody. 35. Not allowed to sing 'High Speed Dirt' by Megadeth during airborne operations. ('See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I'm off to meet my maker') 36. Can't have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn't over). 37. Our medic is called 'Sgt Larwasa', not 'Dr. Feelgood'. 38. Our supply Sgt is 'Sgt Watkins' not 'Sugar Daddy'. 39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once. 40. I do not have super-powers. 41. 'Keep on Trucking' is *not* a psychological warfare message. 42. Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankind's baser instincts in recruitment posters. 43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform. 44. I am not the atheist chaplain. 45. I am not allowed to 'Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddies little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies'. 46. I am not authorized to fire officers. 47. I am not a citizen of Texas, and those other, forty-nine, lesser states. 48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision. 49. Not allowed to trade military equipment for 'magic beans'. 50. Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours. 51. Not allowed to quote 'Dr Seuss' on military operations. 52. Not allowed to yell 'Take that Cobra' at the rifle range. 53. Not allowed to quote 'Full Metal Jacket ' at the rifle range. 54. 'Napalm sticks to kids' is *not* a motivational phrase. 55. An order to 'Put Kiwi on my boots' does *not* involve fruit. 56. An order to 'Make my Boots black and shiny' does not involve electrical tape. 57. The proper response to a lawful order is not 'Why?' 58. The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we've all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid. 59. May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain of command. 60. 'The Giant Space Ants' are not at the top of my chain of command. 61. If one soldier has a 2nd Lt bar on his uniform, and I have an E-4 on mine It means he outranks me. It does not mean ‘I have been promoted three more times than you'. 62. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz. 63. Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority. 64. Inflatable novelties do *not* entitle me to BAQ or Separation pay. 65. There are no evil clowns living under my bed. 66. There is no 'Anti-Mime' campaign in Bosnia. 67. I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot. 68. I may not line my helmet with tin foil to ‘Block out the space mind control lasers'. 69. May not pretend to be a facist stormtrooper, while on duty. 70. I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication. 71. I must not flaunt my deviances in front of my chain of command. 72. May not wear gimp mask while on duty. 73. No military functions are to be performed ‘Skyclad'. 74. Woad is not camouflage makeup. 75. May not conduct psychological experiments on my chain of command. 76. "Teddy Bear, Teddy bear, turn around" is *not* a cadence. 77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for." 78. I may not call block my chain of command. 79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese. 80. Not allowed to wear a dress to any army functions. 81. May not bring a drag queen to the battalion formal dance. 82. May not form any press gangs. 83. Must not start any SITREP (Situation Report) with "I recently had an experience I just had to write you about...." 84. Must not use military vehicles to ‘Squish' things. 85. Not allowed to make any Psychological Warfare products depicting the infamous Ft. Bragg sniper incident. 86. May not challenge anyone in my chain of command to the 'field of honor'. 87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it. 88. Must not refer to 1st Sgt as 'Mom'. 89. Must not refer to the Commander as 'Dad'. 90. Inflatable sheep do *not* need to be displayed during a room inspection. 91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad. 92. When asked to give a few words at a military ceremony 'Romper Bomper Stomper Boo' is probably not appropriate. 93. Nerve gas is not funny. 94. Crucifixes do not ward off officers, and I should not test that. 95. I am not in need of a more suitable host body. 96. 'Redneck Zombies' is not a military training aid. 97. Gozer does not dwell in my refrigerator. 98. The proper response to a chemical weapon attack is not ‘Tell my chain of command what I really think about them, and then poke holes in their masks.' 99. A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield. 100. Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are. 101. I am not allowed to mount a bayonet on a crew-served weapon. 102. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are "casualties of war". 103. My commander is not old enough to have fought in the civil war, and I should stop implying that he did. 104. Vodka, green food coloring, and a ‘Cool Mint’ Listerine® bottle is not a good combination. 105. I am not allowed to bum cigarettes off of anyone under twelve. 106. I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD’s. 107. Must not mock command decisions in front of the press. 108. Should not taunt members of the press, even if they are really fat, exceptionally stupid, and working for UPI. 109. I am not authorized to change national policy in Eastern Europe. 110. Never, ever, attempt to correct a Green Beret officer about anything. 111. I am not qualified to operate any US, German, Polish, or Russian Armored vehicles. 112. When saluting a ‘leg’ officer, an appropriate greeting is not "Airborne leads the wa- oh...sorry sir". 113. There is absolutely no need to emulate the people from 'Full Monty' every time I hear the song "Hot Stuff". 114. I cannot trade my CO to the Russians. 115. I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me. 116. Crucifying mice - bad idea. 117. Must not use government equipment to bootleg pornography. 118. Burn pits for classified material are not revel fires - therefore it is wrong to dance naked around them. 119. I cannot arrest children for being rude. 120. An EO briefing is probably not the best place to unveil my newest off color joke. 121. I should not use government resources to ‘waterproof’ dirty magazines. 122. Radioactive material should not be stored in the barracks. 123. I should not teach other soldiers to say offensive and crude things in Albanian, under the guise of teaching them how to say potentially useful phrases. 124. Two drink limit does not mean first and last. 125. Two drink limit does not mean two kinds of drinks. 126. Two drink limit does not mean the drinks can be as large as I like. 127. 'No Drinking Of Alcoholic Beverages' does not imply that a Jack Daniel's ® IV is acceptable. 128. "Shpadoinkle" is not a real word. 129. The Microsoft ® 'Dancing Paperclip' is not authorized to countermand any orders. 130. 'I'm drunk' is a bad answer to any question posed by my commander. 131. No dancing in the turret. This especially applies in conjunction with rule #113. 132. The loudspeaker system is not a forum to voice my ideas. 133. The loudspeaker system is not to be used to replace the radio. 134. The loudspeaker system is not to be used to broadcast the soundtrack to a porno movie. 135. An order to put polish on my boots means the whole boot. 136. Shouting 'Let's do the village! Let's do the whole f***ing village!' while out on a mission is bad. 137. Should not show up at the front gate wearing part of a Russian uniform, messily drunk. 138. Even if my commander did it. 139. Must not teach interpreters how to make "MRE" bombs. 140. I am not authorized to sell mineral rights. 141. Not allowed to use a broadsword to disprove ‘The Pen is Mightier than the sword’. 142. 'Calvin-Ball' is not authorized PT. 143. I do not need to keep a 'range card' by my window. 144. 'K-Pot, LBE, and a thin coat of Break-free' is not an authorized uniform. 145. I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test. 146. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same. 147. I should not threaten suicide with pop rocks and Coke ®. 148. Putting red 'Mike and Ike's' ® into a prescription medicine bottle, and then eating them all in a formation is not funny. 149. Must not create new DOD forms, then insist they be filled out. 150. On Sports Day PT, a wedgie is not considered a legal tackle. 151. The proper way to report to my Commander is 'Specialist Schwarz, reporting as ordered, Sir' not 'You can't prove a thing!' 152. The following items do not exist: Keys to the Drop Zone, A box of grid squares, blinker fluid, winter air for tires, canopy lights, or Chem-Light ® batteries. 153. I should not assign new privates to 'guard the flight line'. 154. Shouldn't treat 'piss-bottles' with extra-strength icy hot. 155. Teaching Albanian children to taunt other soldiers is not nice. 156. I will no longer perform 'lap-dances' while in uniform. 157. If I take the uniform off, in the course of the lap-dance, it still counts. 158. The revolution is not now. 159. When detained by MP's, I do not have a right to a strip search. 160. No part of the military uniform is edible. 161. Bodychecking General officers is not a good idea. 162. Past lives have absolutely no effect on the chain of command. 163. Take that hat off. 164. There is no such thing as a were-virgin. 165. I do not get 'that time of month'. 166. No, the pants are not optional. 167. Not allowed to operate a business out of the barracks. 168. Especially not a pornographic movie studio. 169. Not even if they *are* 'especially patriotic films' 170. Not allowed to 'defect' to OPFOR during training missions. 171. On training missions, try not to shoot down the General's helicopter. 172. 'A full magazine and some privacy' is not the way to help a potential suicide. 173. I am not allowed to create new levels of security clearance. 174. Furby ® is not allowed into classified areas. (I swear to the gods, I did not make that up, it's actually DOD policy). 175. We do not 'charge into battle, naked, like the Celts'. 176. Any device that can crawl across the table on medium, does not need to be brought into the office. 177. I am not to refer to a formation as 'the boxy rectangle thingie'. 178. I am not 'A lesbian trapped in a man's body'. 179. On Army documents, my race is not 'Other'. 180. Nor is it 'Secretariat, in the third'. 181. Pokémon® trainer is not an MOS. 182. There is no FM for 'wall-to-wall counseling'. 183. My chain of command has neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Fruit Roll-Ups. ® 184. When operating a military vehicle I may *not* attempt something 'I saw in a cartoon'. 185. My name is not a killing word. 186. I am not the Emperor of anything. 187. Must not taunt officers in the throes of nicotine withdrawal, with cigarettes. 188. May not challenge officers to 'Meet me on the field of honor, at dawn'. 189. Do not dare SERE graduates to eat bugs. They will always do it. 190. Must not make s'mores while on guard duty. 191. Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot. 192. The proper response to a briefing is not 'That's what you think'. 193. The Masons, and Gray Aliens are not in our chain of command. 194. Shouldn't take incriminating photos of my chain of command. 195. Shouldn't use Photoshop ® to create incriminating photos of my chain of command. 196. I am not allowed to give tattoos. 197. I am not allowed to sing 'Henry the VIII I am' until verse 68 ever again. 198. Not allowed to lead a 'Coup' during training missions. 199. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born. 200. My chain of command is not interested in why I 'just happen' to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car. 201. Must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad. 202. Despite the confusing similarity in the names, the "Safety Dance" and the "Safety Briefing" are never to be combined. 203. 'To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is a bad long term goal to give the re-enlistment NCO. 204. NEVER nail a stuffed bunny to a cross and put it up in front of the Battalion Headquarters sign as an "Easter Desecration." 205. Don't write up false gigs on a HMMWV PMCS. ("Broken clutch pedal", "Number three turbine has frequent flame-outs", "flux capacitor emits loud whine when engaged") 206. Not allowed to get shot. 207. The Chicken and Rice MRE is *not* a personal lubricant. (Skippy wanted this noted for the record that this is not something he has ever attempted or considered! It was something we heard at dinner on 22 September 2001 and it was just so obscene it had to go here.) 208. Not allowed to play into the deluded fantasies of the civlians who are "hearing conversations" from the NSA, FBI, CIA and KGB due to the microchip the aliens implanted in their brain. 209. An airsickness bag is to be used for airsickness *only*. (Also not a Skippy-ism...this was the same dinner.) 210. Must not make T-shirts up depciting a pig with the writing "Eat Pork or Die" in Arabic to bring as civilian attire when preparing to deploy to a primarily Muslim country. 211. Don't ask LTC Steele to sign my copy of Blackhawk Down. 212. Must not go on nine deployments in six years that require a security clearance that I don't have, even if the Army tells me repeatedly that I have one and I have no reason to question them. 213. Do not convince NCO's that their razorbumps are the result of microscopic parasites. (Setting: A furious lightsaber duel is underway. Darth Vader is backing Luke Skywalker towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader chops off Luke's hand. It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down....) Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father. Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him! Darth Vader: No, Luke... I am your father! Luke: No! It's not true! It's impossible. Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true. Luke: NO! Darth Vader: Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours? Luke: Threepio? Darth Vader : Yes, C-3PO. I built him -- when I was only seven years old. Luke: No! Darth Vade : Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at yourself: No lightsaber, no hand, no job and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp. Luke: I destroyed the Death Star! Darth Vader When you were 20! When I was ten, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship! Luke: Well, it's not my fault... Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... “Poor me! My father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith...waahhh wahhh!” Luke: Shut up. Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights! Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon! Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor...! Listen, ten years old and winner of the Boonta Eve Open, the only human to ever fly a Pod Racer -- right here, baby! (Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.) Darth Vader : I was wrong. You're not my kid. I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine. (Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft. Darth Vader looks after him.) Darth Vader : Get a haircut!' HELLO PEOPLE! This is my first attempt at a fan fiction so hope you like it. It’ll be a bit dark but don’t worry to much. Welcome to my world of Evangelion! “Spoken” ‘Thought’ --setting location— --The Start-- Things Left Unknown Chapter One Having lived with her new ward for about three weeks now Misato Katsuragi was fairly used to the boy’s, Shinji, activity. He’d wake up, make her breakfast, get her cloths ready, and a bevy of other chores that they were supposed to share. She didn’t mind having him do all the work she wasn’t a morning person anyway. What did bother her was his lack of confidence. ‘I’m tired of all his moping around and being depressed. Hell I don’t even know why he didn’t leave the other day.’ A shiver of fear shook her body as she sat at the table where not fifteen minutes ago the topic of her mental dialogue had just pushed himself away from and left for school. ‘I don’t want him to go now.’ Truthfully she had taken him in as a way of shooting up the ranks, but now she kind of liked the boy. The only problem she didn’t think about was how she was to relieve herself of certain ‘problems’ that life presented each human with on certain occasions. ‘God I thought he’d never leave today.’ The purple haired woman thought as she finished her can of beer and headed to the bathroom for a nice long soak. Ever since Shinji moved in with her, Misato had been to nervous to relieve her pent up frustrations and the itch just kept growing. ‘If he were to hear me or God forbid see me fingering myself in the bathroom I don’t know what I’d do.’ But for some reason the thought of his young eyes on her made her start to tingle a bit more, grabbing her work attire Misato had enough fuel in her libido to make a run and headed to the bath. “I’ll just have to leave a note for him to clean the tub afterwards,” She said softly as the idea of being caught still lingered heavily in her mind. ---Tokyo-3 School--- Not having much confidence in himself, Shinji counted his failure to leave Tokyo-3 to his own inabilities. ‘I don’t know why but I don’t want to go back to live with Sensei.’ The real reason that Shinji didn’t want to go back was that living with Misato hadn’t been bad, compared to living with his teacher and his wife living with Misato was paradise. “Hey Shinji, glad to see you back in school again,” Touji shouted from the doorway as he strode in and over to Shinji’s desk. Though the side of his face still hurt a little from where Shinji hit him, Touji was glad the shy boy was back. “Now don’t look to happy to see me either.” Doing his best to try and replicate the larger boy’s enthusiasm, Shinji smiled and waved meekly. “Hello Touji-san, are you doing well today?” He hated feeling awkward like this, but Shinji just couldn’t relax around strangers that well, even if they called themselves his friends. Waving Kensuke over, Touji turned back to Shinji, “Drop the ‘san’ stuff, were buds now! And as buds we have a favor to ask you.” Touji stopped and waited for Kensuke to get over and pull his camcorder out. Shinji was well versed in people asking favors. He was asked to do ‘favors’ all his life ever since his father abandoned him. So he took it as a part of life, it wasn’t a question of willingness to comply it was a question of ability. “Ok, what is it?” Smiling Kensuke put his camera into focus over Shinji’s face. Looking around for any would be spies, the speckled boy whispered, “Can you take a picture of that lovely lady that you’re living with?” Pushing his glasses up slowly as the inched their way down his nose, Kensuke and Touji held their breaths. ‘How did they know I was living with Misato?’ Shinji questioned mentally before he had to ask. “How do you know I live with her?” Squirming a bit under the camera’s gaze, Shinji just hoped they didn’t really want this of him. Kensuke nudged Touji’s side, “This big dork was worried about you when you stopped coming to class so we made a visit and saw her there.” Zooming in closer, Kensuke could feel Shinji getting more nervous and that’s what they needed for the boy to submit to their demands. ‘A little grease makes the wheels move easier.’ “She your mom or something?” Touji asked in a confused tone, “I mean why is she living with you and all?” Try as he might Touji couldn’t think of a reason the older beautiful woman would live with a fourteen year old. The word ‘mom’ striking a very sever emotional cord in the young boy Shinji’s head dropped a bit. “No she isn’t my mother. She’s my commanding officer and I live with her for supervision reasons.” Nodding their heads in unison, “Makes sense,” Kensuke said, “So will you do it?” Using his free hand, Kensuke handed a small camera out towards Shinji. They couldn’t help it but their hormones were really messing with their minds. Looking back and forth between Touji and Kensuke’s hopeful faces, Shinji wilted. ‘I don’t want to lose my first friends.’ Taking the camera into his hands Shinji hoped that they just wanted a simple picture. “Isn’t this wrong of us to do?” “With a body like hers it would be wrong for you NOT to take pictures of it man!” Touji exclaimed as the thought of getting photos of the woman danced in his mind. “The hotter the better you understand?” Kensuke shushed his friend as he noticed a few people starting to pay attention to their conversation. “Just get a few good shots is all we ask man. We’ll even cu…” Kensuke cut himself off. ‘I doubt he’d agree to this if he knew we were going to sell them.’ Luckily for the two boys, Shinji had already delved into his inner mind to reassess the events that just happened. ‘Can I do that to Misato-san…no but I’ll humor them for now.’ Shinji couldn’t do it to the woman that had never asked anything personal of him, not yet anyway. ‘Misato will one day though, just like she always did,’ Shinji thought a little darkly. ---Geo-Front--- With her morning finger bath still fresh in her mind, Misato walked with a little extra perk in her step. Strolling into the command bridge, “Hello Rits-chan! How are ya doing this morning?” Misato called out. From over her mug of coffee, the blond doctor sighed, “Looks like somebody’s in a good mood this morning.” A few thoughts passed in the Ritsuko’s mind, most of them involved Misato, beer, and one lucky unknown man. “Any reason?” Blushing softly as she recalled what did create her good mood, Misato poured herself a cup of coffee. “Not really, just Shinji left earlier today so…” Misato stopped and checked the bridge crew for snoopers. “I was finally able to relax.” An eyebrow raising Ritsuko pressed her questions, “You can’t relax when he’s home? Something about the shy boy bothers you?” Setting her cup down on the console Ritsuko gave her friend her full attention “You want to ditch him already?” Times like this Misato wished her friend wasn’t such a prude, “I mean I was able to get a little satisfaction this morning. With him around I’m too nervous. Hate to have him see that. And no I don’t want to ‘ditch’ him already.” Her eyes widening into saucers Ritsuko almost sprayed her drink on the computer. “You’re indecent! What the hell are you telling me this stuff for?” Ritsuko just couldn’t figure Misato out sometimes. ‘Why does she have to be so candid about this stuff?’ Following Ritsuko’s outburst, Misato could feel her cheeks redden in embarrassment. “Shit Ritsuko, don’t bust a gasket its not like I said anything THAT bad.” All she said was that she masturbated, not that she fucked Gendo, now that would have been bad. Shaking her head clear of the fallout that Misato’s statement implied, “Maybe we should take Shinji out of your care. He doesn’t need your sick impulses ruining his life. What if he ever DID see you?” ‘It’d turn me on apparently,’ Misato thought back to earlier that morning where the fear of being seen acted as one hell of an aphrodisiac. “Don’t worry so much about it Ritsuko. He’s a teenager I’m sure he’s not so ‘innocent’ as you think he is. I’m sure he’d just nosebleed a little and run off apologizing.” Knowing full well that most teenagers Shinji’s age start experimenting with their bodies Ritsuko couldn’t refute Misato, but that didn’t mean she had to life it. “Just don’t press your luck ok. Shinji’s personality is fairly unique, I’d have to have you fuck his mind up because you’re perverted.” Suddenly feeling unwelcome in Ritsuko’s company, Misato opted to check out the other stations and leave Ritsuko to her now cold coffee. ‘Bitch saying I’m perverted. I’m just acting as God intended for me.’ But try as she might, Misato couldn’t overlook the feeling of slight wetness on her leg as she thought about the possibilities again. ‘Maybe I am a little…’ ---Katsuragi/Ikari apartment--- With supper finished as well as his homework, Shinji sat in front of the television. ‘Without Misato here, this place is quite.’ He thought as his hand ran the length of Pen-Pen’s head. The penguin seemed to like having the spot between his eyes pet so Shinji did it. Absently Shinji’s eyes wafted downward to the coffee table where Kensuke’s camera sat Could he really do what they wanted of him? He could take a few innocent pictures and be done with it. Pen-Pen warked as if reminding Shinji to keep his hands moving. Smiling at the bird, Shinji continued his activity and returned his attention to the television. ‘I said I would do it so I guess I’ll need to,’ Shinji sighed in defeat. He was always defeated. When he failed in his lessons before, and was beat, he failed when he talked to other students at his old school and was reprimanded, he failed when Mizuho came to him he failed. Old memories and feelings started to swarm in his mind and the urge to cry of reasons unknown to him hit him, he was thankful the door opened and broke his revelry. “Shin-chan you home?” Misato called out, hoping to be greeted by silence. Over and over again at work she replayed her morning and it made her more anxious for some more private time. ‘God I hate feeling like this sometimes.’ Her regret increased a few seconds later when she received her answer. “Supper is ready and on the table Misato-san,” Shinji’s voice hailed from the living room. Misato’s face sagged for a moment as she was denied her ability of action. Heading to the spotless kitchen, something that she was incapable of cleaning, Misato found her dinner waiting. ‘Then again living with him is the greatest thing, I don’t need to cook, clean, or any of the other chores. Like having my own little maid,’ Misato thought with a chuckle. “Thanks Shinji, so how was school? She said as she removed the plastic wrap from her plate. Heading into the dining area from the living room, Shinji sat at the table. “Things are nice.” He had to admit. “Teacher seems to really like talking about second-impact and times before it.” He looked up to see Misato looking at him, but something seemed off, “Do I have something on my face?” Caught staring at the boy, Misato waved it off, “Just thinking about work is all,” Misato lied. She’d been thinking about him. ‘What do you think of living here? Do you mind doing all this work for nothing in exchange?’ Impaling the last bit of fish, Misato pushed her plate away only to see Shinji stand, grab the empty plates and head to the sink. ‘Its like a reflex for him.’ Filling the sink up with water, Shinji gently yet skillfully removed all the caked on food and grime from the plates. “How was work today?” he asked offhanded as he set another plate to dry. Watching the boy from behind, Misato again thought about what lead Shinji to this state in life. “Same shit different day,” Misato said with a smile. Resting her chin on her extended hands, Misato felt up for a little teasing. “So Shinji how are you’re classmates treating you?” Having not really spoken to many of them, Shinji relied on his only positive experience, that being Touji and Kensuke. “Fine I guess, Touji and Kensuke apologized for going out doing the last battle and things are going better.” Reaching for a towel, Shinji started drying the remaining plates. Cooing softly, “I meant the girls Shinji, any young filly catch your attention?” Misato couldn’t help but smile as she saw Shinji’s back stiffen minutely at the question. ‘He’s just to shy.’ Shinji hadn’t paid attention to the girls in his class, ‘why would they want to talk to me anyway?’ he thought. Putting the plates in their proper place, Shinji turned to see Misato’s lingering gaze, a gaze he had come to know and understand, pushing his fears down deeper into his subconscious he replied, “I haven’t really talked to them.” Smiling a bit broader, “Well you’ll have to make time someday, I’d like to have a few more people around the dinner table.” Stretching out after he supper finally settled in her belly. “Think I’ll watch some television then turn in for the night, these long hour shifts really suck. Thanks for the meal, great as usual.” Blushing at the compliment, Shinji simply said, “What I’m here for.” Walking into the living room followed leisurely by Misato, Shinji grabbed the camera without her noticing. “Not much on so I think I’ll turn in a bit early myself tonight.” Thanking God for the news Misato waved to Shinji as he disappeared into his room, ‘Man, I can’t get this thought out of my head!’ Misato kept repeating in her mind as she sank into the couch. Her eyes watched the television but her mind was calculating how long it took for a boy Shinji’s age to fall asleep. She normally wasn’t this active but for some reason her body was aching for some release. ‘Think I’ll do it in my room this time, he might have to go to the bathroom during the night.’ Watching late night talk shows, Misato could feel her anxiety building with every minute, part of her thought it would be nice to leave the door open. ‘What if I woke him and he came to see what it was?’ Her mind played out a few scenarios before another part of her mind cried. ‘Are you listening to yourself? This is a child you’re talking about? Do you want to corrupt him?’ Yes she felt bad thinking about Shinji in that light, but she was human and when humans are exposed to hormones they often don’t think straight. ‘It could build his self-confidence a lot, and hell with his job he’s hardly a child anymore. He’s more mature than my last few boy friends.’ Shaking the thoughts away, Misato stealth fully walked over to Shinji’s door. Taking a quick peek inside she found the boy lying on his bed. ‘Good he’s asleep, I’ll just have to be quiet.’ Dashing to her room Misato momentarily cursed her humanity that forced such urges on her body. Opting to shut the door after all, Misato stopped and looked down at herself. ‘Now that I can do it…why am I hesitating?’ Normally when she’d had the urge before it was in with the room, off with the panties, and then she was up to her knuckles for a few minutes, feel the electric pulse of an orgasm, if she was lucky enough, then after a quick clean up go to bed. ‘Shit the desire is here but not the material,’ Misato thought as she laid down on her futon. She needed something to jump-start the engine or she’d just lay frustrated on the bed. Thinking of Kaji had long ago stopped working for her, neither had remembering the last time she’d lain with man like that. Thinking back to the morning though, her memories of the fear kicked in and her engine started. Slipping into her sleeping attire that consisted of set of baggy flannel pants and a large t-shirt, Misato flipped the light off and lied back down. Her left hand snaked its way down her stomach and stopped inches above her maidenhood. ‘Why do I still feel bad doing this, I’m a grown woman dammit!’ But old memories die-hard and despite knowing that almost every human pleasures themselves on occasion her hand hesitated. A creak from outside her door caught her attention, ‘Maybe Shinji’s heading to the bathroom and is going to check on me?’ The thought added fuel to her fire and after a few seconds of silence her hand made the remaining distance and her finger started rubbing her clitoris lightly, sparks of pleasure would up her back as she continued her menstruations. Her right hand moving to her breast, she started to pull and flick at her nipple through the light garment. As her hands moved, so did her enjoyment, her finger stopped being content merely rubbing herself, and descended deeper into her maidenhood. Her mind clouded with the experience, she’d stopped trying to remain quiet and her moans started filling the apartment. --Shinji’s Room— After he heard Misato shut his door, Shinji sat on his bed thinking. With the camera in his hand he had come up with his plan. ‘I’ll just take a picture of her sleeping and give it to them. That’s all the asked really.’ He still felt bad about doing it, but he didn’t want to lose his friends either. ‘But if she finds out won’t she be mad?’ his conscious told him. He couldn’t deny that concept. ‘But it’s just a harmless picture, why would she be mad?’ The camera sitting in his had seamed to be gaining weight as it sat in his hands. ‘She hasn’t asked us to fulfill our other obligations, and you want to betray her?’ Tears started forming in Shinji’s eyes. ‘True she hasn’t asked that of me, but I don’t want to be alone anymore, I like having friends.’ Swallowing hard, Shinji stood up and camera in hand headed out of room. ‘I have to go to the bathroom,’ he thought as he started walking. Hearing an odd sound from Misato’s room he made a sidetrack to her door. Listening for a few moments at her doorframe, he contemplated calling out to her. Whispering to himself, “I wouldn’t want to wake her if she is asleep.” Heading to the privy, Shinji relieved himself and looked at his reflection in the mirror. ‘Mizuho was right. Nobody could love a person like me. I’m just good for doing my duty.’ The harsh words of his teacher’s wife reverberated in his head as he looked at the camera sitting by the sink. Building his courage and reminding himself that it was only a picture of Misato sleeping, she shouldn’t get to mad if she found out. ‘She is very beautiful to,’ Shinji had to admit as he shut off the light in the bathroom and quietly walked towards Misato’s room. ‘What is that sound?’ he thought as he approached the door, ‘She must talk in her sleep.’ He thought as he noticed the light was out and only soft murmurings could be heard. His fingers gripped the shoji door lightly and he softly and quietly drew back the door. As he tried to adjust his eyes to the dimmer light in Misato’s room his eyes could make out the shape of what he thought was Misato, who was now on her knees with her right arm against her chest, her fingers working vigorously on the folds of her maidenhood trying to find release. As he realized what she was doing, Shinji dropped the camera, which landed with a deafening crash on the ground. Time froze as Misato’s head shot towards the door and her face paled as she saw Shinji staring at her, not just at her but in her actions she’d positioned herself with her head away from the door so Shinji saw her sacred place fully and unabashed. ‘Oh God he IS seeing me!’ Misato was frozen in place as she felt Shinji’s eyes boring down on her, all she could do was slowly move her hand away from herself and weakly mutter, “Sh…inji?” Now Misato had many possible scenarios for what could happen next. She could picture him freaking out, having a nosebleed, or even fainting. She didn’t expect what actually happened. If Misato could have seen his face clearly she’d have seen a look of sadness, Shinji was defeated again. Walking the few feet over to Misato’s futon, Shinji dropped to his knees and before Misato could react slide his tongue softly into the folds of her vagina. Moving slowly around the folds of flesh and pecking softly at Misato’s clitoris. As the waves of pleasure began flooding Misato’s mind she tried to stop it. “Shinji…what are you…” was all she could get out before her body took over and her mind shut down. All the while Shinji’s sense of sadness grew. ‘Mizuho was right, nobody could see me as a person. I’m just a commodity to be used by people when the need me.’ Continuing his menstruations Shinji was aware that Misato’s arms gave way and her face was now implanted in her pillow. Adding a little more pressure as he was often instructed, Shinji’s tongue batted at the slightly bulging clitoris of his commanding officer. She had never expected such a possible response from Shinji. The shy boy was doing things with his tongue that Kaji hadn’t been able to do, but how was that possible. If she had been in her right mind, she’d have stopped him, questioned him, but at the moment all she could do was moan softly into her pillow as another wave of sure bliss shot her body. Shinji wanted to cry, he’d thought things had changed for him, that he’d escaped the worse of his duties. Misato didn’t seem to want him to do such things before, never asked him to, or even ventured that it was expected but now…now things seemed to change. Raising his finger to the lower edge of Misato’s vagina, he inserted his index finger slowly in time with his licking. Misato was about to go over the edge, yes self-pleasure was one thing, but to have another do it for you, and do it well shot her through the gears to fast. Her whole body tensed as she flushed Shinji’s face with her excitement leaving the poor boy dirty just as he always felt. So content was Misato that after her climax, she fell asleep and didn’t wake till morning. Shinji doing what he thought was his duty, cleaned her up, dressed her, and put her back in her futon before cleaning himself off and heading back to bed. He climbed into his futon and stared at the ceiling. ‘I was a fool to think I’d not have to keep working. Mizuho was right again, I am a failure.’ Turning on his side, Shinji didn’t know that while his body fell asleep he cried silent tears into his pillow. --Akagi apartment – Not having the liberty to leave as early as Misato, Ritsuko had just gotten off work as the clock chimed one a.m. Not ready for sleep, the blond doctor took her cup of warm milk to her small living room and turned on the twenty-four hour news station for a recap of the day’s events. ‘I can’t believe Misato talking about doing that while Shinji could be around,’ Ritsuko thought with a hint of disgust. Turning up the volume and taking a drink of her milk, she hoped it’d calm her enough to get some sleep soon. “She’ll probably warp the poor kid’s mind if we don’t watch her.” Listening to the television Ritsuko was slightly shocked when the newscaster repeated a story from earlier in the day. “In a shocking development, a teacher named Mizuho Kamazaki, wife of Kei Kamazaki, was found guilty today to sexual assault on a child. Mizuho had been found trying to seduce a fourteen-year-old student of hers. At this time it is unknown whether this is her first act of sexual assault, but it has ended her ten year teaching career, on a lighter note…’ Ritsuko turned the television off. “What some people will do for a little fix,” she headed to her bed and got in still in her work cloths. “Wonder if that was the first time that woman did something like that?” Ritsuko said aloud before falling to sleep, not knowing that said woman had been one of Shinji’s guardians for most of his life. --Katsuragi/Ikari apartment next morning – Finding herself in bed alone, Misato thought she’d just had the strangest dream of her life. ‘Damn Ritsuko for making me think weird things about Shinji.’ The Captain dressed herself for her normal morning routine and went to greet the boy she’d just had one of the steamiest dreams about. Finding Shinji cooking breakfast, Misato couldn’t help but laugh softly, ‘yeah that’s a real sex machine right there.’ The pink apron he was wearing didn’t really mesh with Misato’s supposed dream. Hearing Misato take her seat, Shinji knew better than to ever say anything about the previous night, he’d learned his lesson the hard way as it cost him one of his back teeth the last time he’d mentioned things. “Good morning Misato-san sleep well?” ‘Is he upset about something?’ Misato wondered as she could hear a bit of fear in the boy’s voice. “Had one of the best nights sleep ever Shinji. Could stand for a lot more of um.” Sighing Shinji thought he understood what she meant. “I’ll get you’re your beer Misato-san.” She thanked him and watched as he handed her the beer a bit timidly. Silently Shinji ate his food then cleaned the place before he left, never saying anything. After he left Misato sat at the table as Pen-Pen waded into the room. Talking to the bird, “I have no idea what I did last night, but I must have done a number on myself to have a dream like that.” Smiling at the bird that now was eating his meal. Misato was ready for another day of work, opening the garbage can to throw her can away, Misato stopped. “What is this camera doing in the trash?” to that Pen-Pen didn’t answer and Misato’s blood chilled --end chapter— Author Notes Well it’s the premise I guess. Hope you guys enjoyed this. Again my first fic so don’t be to harsh with me ok? And thank Zen-chan for pre-reading for me!!! Reviews are very welcome. Household Tips 1. Drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional pain relievers. 2. Did you know that Colgate toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns. 3. Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints. They'll clear up your stuffed nose. 4. Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 Tablespoon of horseradish in 1/2 cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes,then apply it as a massage oil, for instant relief for aching muscles. 5. Sore Throat?? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 Tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria. 6. Cure urinary tract infections with alka-seltzer. Just dissolve two tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of the symptoms. Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly-even though the product was never been advertised for this use. 7. Eliminate puffiness under your eyes.....All you need is a dab of preparation H, carefully rubbed into the skin, avoiding the eyes. The hemorrhoid ointment acts as a vasoconstrictor, relieving the swelling instantly. 8. Honey remedy for Skin Blemishes......Cover the blemish with a dab of honey and place a band-aid over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin sterile, and speeds healing. Works overnight. 9. Listerine therpy for toenail fungus....Get rid of unsightly toenail fungus by soaking your toes in Listerine mouthwash. The powerful antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again. 10. Easy eyeglass protection....To prevent the screws in eyeglasses from loosening, apply a small drop of Maybelline Crystal Clear nail polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them. 11. Coca-Cola cure for rust...Forget those expensive rust removers. Just saturate an abrasive sponge with Coca Cola and scrub the rust stain. The phosphoric acid in the coke is what gets the job done. 12. Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer....If menacing bees, wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you can't find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409. Insects drop to the ground instantly. 13. Smart splinter remover.....just pour a drop of Elmers Glue-all over the splinter, let dry, and peel the dried glue off the skin. The splinter sticks to the dried glue. 14. Hunt's tomato paste boil cure....Cover the boil with Hunt's tomato paste as a compress. The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain and bring the boil to a head. 15. Balm for broken blisters.....To disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops of Listerine.... a powerful antiseptic. 16. Heinz vinegar to heal bruises...Soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and apply it to the bruise for 1 hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process. 17. Quaker Oats for fast pain relief.... It's not for breakfast anymore! Mix: 2 cups of Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute. Cool slightly and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing arthritis pain. Pets: 17. Kill fleas instantly. Dawn dishwashing liquid does the trick. Add a few drops to your dog's bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations. Goodbye fleas. 18. Rainy day cure for dog odor....Next time your dog comes in from the rain, simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly making your dog smell springtime fresh. 19. Eliminate ear mites....All it takes is a few drops of wesson corn oil in your cat's ear. Massage it in, then clean with a cotton ball. Repeat daily for 3 days. The oil soothes the cat's skin, smothers the mites, and accelerates healing. 20. Vaseline cure for hairballs.....To prevent troublesome hairballs, apply a dollop of vaseline petroleum jelly to your cat's nose. The cat will lick off the jelly, lubricating any hair in its stomach so it can pass easily through the digestive system. I'm jealous of you. by HBondageWriter summary: Rei put Asuka in bondage and torture her as well as rape her as she hate Asuka stealing Ikari from her. Bit of Torture, Rape, and heavy bondage, rated NC-17 as well as lemon inside. You have been warned, so don't give an flames to me, but I admire any review. TYPE: I takes YURI- I still don't feel right with sexual intercourse before mariage, so I still won't break any virginity of any girls nor boys. I myself hate YAOI, so don't expect me to write one. Well, I may write M/F lemon later, but without sex intercourse anyway. DISCLAIMER: I don't own Evangelion. She was awakened by some dizzy feeling, as blurry visions come to her eyes. With dizziness still covers her, she slowly opens her eyes, revealing the dark chamber in front of her. The chamber is so dark, because no light reachs there, causing she cannot see anyhing, even her ownself. And top of that, she feels so uneasy because she cannot move her arms nor legs for even slight a move, just as something hinders her way. As she thinks for what had happened, she has remember slight of what's happened to her. She was at her way to get home with Shinji, but because she gets angry at Shinji for incidentelly saw her change cloth in school, she left him in the way. However, as she was walking, somebody attacks her from behind, making her unconsious. The lamp shines brightly at the chamber, making her close her eyes slightly, as a blue-haired motionless girl enters it. She was accompanied by a man there that she doesn't recognize. "Is this the one?" the man spoke. "Yes," the girl replied and then the man leaves the chamber, leaving the girl inside. As she could see what's hindering her moves, she gets a bit panic. Her wrists are shackled separately to each other, each shackle connect to the chain that attached to the edge of the ceiling. Her angkles are also attached separately to the chains at the floor. That makes she is bonded to those chains, making she is spread-eagled at this moment. At this position, she cannot move anything of her, except her head. "Wha... what do you want, REI!?" the bonded girl shouted at the other girl. Still without any emotion, the girl named Rei moves nearing the bonded girl, staring at her. The stare countered by the bonded one, as she also stares at Rei at the same time. "I hate you..." Rei said with motionless tone. "I hate you... I hate you, Asuka," she continued. "What do you mean, Rei?" Asuka asked her. Without answering the question, Rei places her hands through Asuka's chin, then trails her hand along Asuka's curve body, as Asuka trembles. Her school uniform still there one piece, but cannot restraines the feeling that she had never felt. Rei's hand still trailing Asuka's body, until she stops at the end of Asuka's short skirt. Rei moves her hand through Asuka's underpants, making Asuka moans slightly, still trembles harder, trying to moves her legs to covers her curve, which she cannot because of the chains. "Don't... don't do..." Asuka said with requesting tone. Still not giving her emotion, Rei stops trailing Asuka's body, rather she softly touches her spreaded legs and her shirt where the breast was, making Asuka itching nonstoply, moving her body at her might to stop the itching. Then, she takes the whip and begin slashing the painfull whip to Asuka's slender body. "Arggh... please... stop..." as Asuka get pains from the slash of the whip. "You steal Ikari from me..." Rei said to Asuka, still slashing the whip, she avoids slash Asuka's face, but consentrating at her chest, torning her shirt and wound and blood formes together. She stops her slashing. Suddenly, Rei's face changes a bit, showing some kind of expression that she couldn't tell. Then, she moves her other hand to Asuka's shirt uniform, caress the upper body of Asuka, maing her more itching all over her body, as she moans louder. With one grap, Rei tore Asuka's shirt, revealing her bra, as she breaths heavier. "No, what do you think you're doing?" Asuka shouted again. "You need not this..." Rei replied as she also tore her bra, exposing Asuka's breast to the entire chamber. Asuka's eyes got widen as she feels that her front upper bpdy was bare open, exposed to the world. Her nipples grows harden because of the cold and the pain of the slash. The track of the slashing whip leaves the wound there, still iritating so much to her. She felt the cold got her naked breast as she trembles hard. Rei moves to the backside of Asuka slowly as Asuka's eyes trails as she moves until she get out of her sight. Not long afterward, Asuka sweats as Rei's hands cups her breast from her behind, as she moans in pleasure. Asuka's hand grew tired so much, 'cause she struggles trying her best to free from her bond, but she cannot. Covered with pains as well as deep pleasure, she cannot do anything but closing her eyes, as tears forms at her eyes. Rei suddenly stops her grasping the breast, then a moment after Asuka's skirt got tore off too, leaving her wet panties with her and the shattered cloth she wears. Asuka gasping as she trying to free herself again, still without avail. Then Rei's hand circles Asuka's below part, as she stops on her panties. "No, please... don't," Asuka pleads. Without listening Asuka, Rei moves the panties lower, exposing Asuka's lovely pussy. The cold makes Asuka shivers. Rei stops and starts caressing Asuka's clit as Asuka arched harder. Rei moves one hand to grasp the breast while the other caress Asuka's pussy. With tears rolling from her eyes, Asuka moans harder. Rei's actions also hardening her nipples, then she stops her actions and moves in front of Asuka again. Still hiding her emotion, she undid her cloths with Asuka gasping. Without bra inside her shirt, Rei's breast also exposed to Asuka's sight, with her nipples hardened as she is. As she undid her mini skirt, there is no trace of single lingerie there, exposing Rei's full naked body to Asuka. Breathing heavier, Asuka trembles again as Rei moves nearing her with naked body like that, and suddenly something inside her makes she stops pleading, waiting in silence of what would Rei do to her. After there is no distance anymore between the two girl, Rei spreads her hands and hugs Asuka by her chest. The two hugs each other, making their breast touch each other, their hardened nipples caressing each other. Their clits touch each others, makes they shiver hard. Still hugging Asuka, Rei rubs her clit to Asuka, makes her trembles harder, her breath getting heavier. Still placing her head on Asuka's mid of breast, Rei places her right hand to Asuka's left breast as she fondles it. Then she pinches the hardened nipple, delivering pain as well as deep pleasure to Asuka. She almost shouted, as she felt the pleasure running through her vein. As Rei sucks at her nipple, Asuka moans louder, almost come to her orgasm. After minutes sucking, Rei moves after Asuka's twin breast, as she fondles it and sucks at it, and one hand trailing Asuka's curve body to her cunt, as she places a finger of her inside the hole. Once again, Rei moves to Asuka's back, as she approaches her from behind. Her hands roaming Asuka's breast, Rei's right leg tangles Asuka's leg, as they beginning hugging. After Rei gets enough pleasure fondling Asuka's breast, she trails her hands lower to Asuka's G-spot, as she thrust her finger to Asuka's pussy. Asuka shivers hard as she is about to explode, cannot moves freely in the bond, keeps sweating and the juice flowing from her pussy, soaking Rei's finger. A moment after, the two girls comes to their orgasm, panting so heaviliy, making Rei lies down to the cold floor. Almost done at her work, Rei moves to Asuka's front and getting lower as she appoaching Asuka's lovely pussy. She licks the juice flowing there, no blood dripping, so the hymen shouldn't have been broken, since she is still virgin, she doesn't break the virginity. Then Rei takes her soaking finger to Asuka's mouth. "You are delicious, aren't you?" Rei said, now her voice gets a kind of tone, mild tone. Done with her work of Asuka, Rei falls of exhausted, still nude lying at the floor, panting heavily, as Asuka also sleeps at her spread-eagled position, breaths heavily. However, not long after, the door opens with loud voice as a boy rush inside. "Asuka!" the boy shouted as she sees Asuka chained. "Shi... nji...." Asuka voiced as she sees who comes. Rei gets up from her lying, as Shinji gets through the nude Rei, Shinji slaps her hard and pounces her to the floor. Worrying about Asuka so much with sweats covers her body, with juices still dripping out from her pussy, and the wounds because of whip still there, as the shirts get torn apart, still exposing her breast and her pussy. Seeing Shinji just worrying Asuka's condition, Rei just can murmured. "I'm jealous so much of you, Asuka..." AUTHOR'S NOTE: No saying what happens afterwards, I won't think of it. Oh well, this is my first lemon, so I'm so much anxious of what people said when they read, so please give me your comment. oh, and I want to post it too in , but it seems I cannot log in, it keeps returning me to the hompage, I don't know why, maybe someone can help me? Well, if someone who has account in wants to post it there, I'll give permission, just tell me okay? A mother passing her daughter's room was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: Dear Mom, It is! with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with John and he is so nice-even with all his piercing, tattoos, beard and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion, Mom, I'm pregnant and John said we would be very happy. He already owns his own trailer in the woods and has a whole stack of wood for the winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. John taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so John can get better; he sure deserves it !! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I'm sure we'll be back to visit. Your daughter, PS: Mom, None of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe to come home.