Disclaimer: I don't own anything. All songs are by Garbage.
Summary: The story explains most of it, but here's a few important facts to know: it flips between present and flashbacks, present being right after graduation, all events till the end of Chant Down Babylon are the same as on the show, and after that my twisted mind takes over.
Rating: Mostly PG-13 I think. Some language and there are some sex scenes, though they aren't graphic.
Version 2.0
Chapter 1
"Temptation Waits"
I'll tell you something
I am a wolf but
I like to wear sheep's clothing
I am a bonfire
I am a vampire
I'm waiting for my moment
You come on like a drug
I just can't get enough
I'm like an addict coming at you for a little more
and there's so much at stake
I can't afford to waste
I've never needed anybody like this before
I'll tell you something
I am a demon
Some say my biggest weakness
I have my reasons
Call it my defence
Be careful what you're wishing
You come on like a drug
I just can't get enough
I'm like an addict coming at you for a little more
and there's so much at stake
I can't afford to waste
I've never needed anybody like this before
You are a secret
A new possession
I like to keep you guessing
You come on like a drug
I just can't get enough
I'm like an addict coming at you for a little more
and there's so much at stake
I can't afford to waste
I've never needed anybody like this before
When I'm not sure what I'm living for (when I'm not sure what I'm)
When I'm not sure what I'm looking for (when I'm not sure what I'm)
When I'm not sure what I'm living for (when I'm nor sure what I'm)
When I'm not sure what I'm looking for (when I'm not sure what I'm)
When I'm not sure what I'm living for
When I'm not sure what I'm looking for
When I'm not sure what I'm living for
When I'm not sure who I am
Temptation waits
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Michael!" Liz screamed out as her orgasm washed over her.
"Liz." Her name grunted out from his throat.
She didn't know why or how this had happened. All she knew was that he made her feel like Max never had. She felt like she couldn't get enough of him. If they weren't together for even short amounts of time her body ached and yearned for his. She sometimes felt like she was going through withdrawal.
No one knew of what had been going on since right after graduation. Actually, whatever it was had been going on for longer than that. The midnight sex romps after closing up had only been going on for the past month.
The Parkers had decided to build another restaurant in Santa Fe so Michael and Liz were left to take care of the Crashdown. When Fall came Liz would still be here. She was going to NMSU- Roswell. It wasn't Harvard, but her family needed her help till the new restaurant was up and running.
Liz didn't really know what she wanted out of these sessions with Michael. Sometimes she thought it was just to be close to someone. Other times she remembered their first kisses, their first touches. She remembered seeing him around Maria and not liking it.
Michael pulled his pants up and grabbed his shirt. Liz straightened herself and stood up. He kissed her on the forehead and left.
Liz's brain drifted back to a few months prior to this evening. She went back to the time when she first realized her life would never be the same.
Chapter 2
"I Think I'm Paranoid"
You can look but you can't touch
I don't think I like you much
Heaven knows what a girl can do
Heaven knows what you've got to prove
I think I'm paranoid and complicated
I think I'm paranoid, manipulate it
Bend me break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you
Bend me break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you
I fall down just to give you a thrill
Prop me up with another pill
If I should fall, if I should fold
I nailed my faith to the sticking pole
I think I'm paranoid, manipulate it
I think I'm paranoid, too complicated
Bend me break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you
Bend me break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you
I think I'm paranoid
I think I'm paranoid
Bend me break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you
Bend me break me
Breaking down is easy
All I want is you
Steal me, deal me, anyway you heal me
Maim me, tame me, you can never change me
Love me, like me, come ahead and fight me
Please me, tease me, go ahead and leave me
Bend me break me
Anyway you need me
As long as I want you baby it's alright
Bend me break me
Anyway you need me
As long as I want you baby it's alrigh
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's been two months since I came back from Vermont. It's probably been the oddest time of my life as well, not counting when I first found out about the aliens.
Maria came back and tried to work on becoming friends with Michael and going to school. After a few weeks the record company was begging her to come back, on her terms of course. I don't blame her for going, it was her dream.
Things were beginning to get weird with Max and I. Right after we came back from Vermont we made love. It was wonderful, but somehow it wasn't what I imagined. Maybe I expected too much.
But now I feel different. I still love him, and I know he still loves me, but I think the attraction is gone. It's almost like we're just friends only we're both too scared to admit it.
Michael's not helping much. Since Metachem burned down he came back to the Crashdown. It's like wherever I go he's there, waiting for me. I think Max told him about everything that's been going on with us. He just looks at me differently then he used to. What am I saying? He never used to look at me at all unless we were arguing and he was trying to prove me wrong. He knew all he had to do was look into my eyes and the sheer strength in him would show through and scare the hell out of me.
Sometimes I walk down the hall and I can feel eyes on watching me. I look up and Michael's there. He's not looking at me, but he seems distracted.
It's the same at work. I'll be clearing a table and I'll feel the eyes again. I'll turn around and Michael will be swearing at the food he's just burnt. I don't know sometimes if it's just my imagination or if he's really just been looking at me and he turned when he sensed that I noticed.
It's almost like he's put this force on me. Whenever we talk all we do is argue. He can be such a jerk sometimes. But in the same instant he'll brush past me attempting to storm off and I won't be able to stay mad. Every inch of me seems to scream his name, to call out for him to touch me.
I think he knows I want him. He knows he's got me wrapped around his finger. He wants to prove I'll do whatever he wants. Why does life have to be so complicated?
Chapter 3
"When I Grow Up"
Cut my tongue out, I've been caught out
Like a giant juggernaut
Happy hours, golden showers
On a cruise to freak you out
We could fly a helicopter
Nothing left to talk about
Entertain you, celebrate you
I'll be back to frame you
When I grow up I'll be stable
When I grow up I'll turn the tables
Trying hard to fit among you
Floating out to wonderland
Unprotected, God I'm pregnant
Damn the consequences
When I grow up I'll be stable
When I grow up I'll turn the tables
Blood and blisters on my fingers
Chaos rules when we're apart
Watch my temper I go mental
I'll try to be gentle
When I grow up I'll be stable
When I grow up I'll turn the tables
When I grow up
When I grow up
When I grow up I'll turn the tables
Don't take offence
Can I make amends?
Rip it up to shreds and let it go
Rip it up to shreds and let it go
Rip it up to shreds and let it go
Rip it up to shreds and let it go
How you like it best, you let me know
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank God school started. I need something to distract me.
There have been break-ins recently in the area and Michael insisted he move in to protect me. I have powers and I just started taking self-defense courses, why do I need protection?
It started out innocent enough. He slept in the guest room and would come in and make sure my windows were properly locked and that the ladder on the fire escape was up and secure. We kept the sex to the break room. We never did anything in my bed just like we had never done anything at his place. Each night he would stay a little longer.
Now every night we were together. We both know it's more than sex, but what exactly is it?
Now things have gotten more complicated. I just took a test and it was positive. I knew before the test but I had to be sure.
I'm pregnant.
We're two eighteen year olds playing house. What is he gonna think? What will my Mom and Dad think? How am I going to tell any of them?
~~~~~~~
Michael came into my room tonight and got into bed as usual. I felt his arms wrap around me and knew I had to tell him now.
"I'm pregnant." I just blurted it out. There was no other way to say it.
I think he almost fell off the bed. He used his powers to turn on the lights and sat up. "What?"
He said it so low I barely heard it. I sat up and looked in his eyes. "I'm pregnant. I'm gonna have a baby."
"I got you pregnant?"
Great. I knew he wouldn't want it. I jumped out of bed and started to pace around the room. "I knew you wouldn't want it. I'm sorry, but I won't get rid of it. I won't. I don't know how but I love it already. I want to give it a good life, a stable one. If you don't want to be a part of our life fine, but you have to choose. You can't go back and forth. I'll raise our daughter by myself. She'll know who you are, what she is. If she asks where you are, why you aren't with her, I'll tell her you died. It'll hurt her, but the truth will hurt more. No child should feel unwanted."
"Our daughter?"
I turned to look at him. "Yeah. I know it probably sounds crazy, especially since I'm still in the first trimester, but I can feel a connection to her. She's so little yet she knows everything that's going on. Must be your genes."
"Liz-"
"No. Just leave now, it'll be easier. I won't tell my parents she's yours."
"Liz! Stop!"
"What?"
"Marry me."
"What?" I think I actually fell onto the bed. I definitely don't remember sitting down.
Michael got down on one knee and held my hands. "Marry me. We'll be a family. You, me, our daughter."
"Michael-"
"We both knew this wasn't just sex, especially not lately. Whether we admit it or not we've been getting flashes from each other. We've felt this way for years. There was just always something in our way. Isabel knows about us, Max and Maria know about us."
"You told them? What did you say?"
"That I love you."
I swear I just stared at him. He loved me. Michael loved me. He wanted to be a family.
"Liz, I love you." He placed his hand on my stomach. "I love her."
"You want to be a family?"
"It's sooner than I thought and I wish you could finish school first, but yes. Please, marry me."
He then put his hand into the pocket of his pants that he had haphazardly discarded at the foot of my bed. He pulled out a ring box.
"Michael?"
"I was going to wait after we made love tonight. I had a whole speech prepared. I told you I loved you and I meant it."
He opened the box and I was staring at the most gorgeous ring I'd ever seen. It was simple, but completely perfect. It was a platinum band with a square-cut diamond inlaid. It looked to be almost a carat. Something on the inside caught my eye. He noticed.
"I got it engraved. Look."
Inside it read 'You're my destiny' and surrounding it were several alien symbols.
"What do they mean?"
"They're the symbols for destiny, love, marriage, and family. Max helped."
"It's beautiful."
"You're dad said you'd like it."
"My dad?"
"The other day when you were at school I went to Santa Fe to visit your parents. I told them that I wanted to properly propose. Your dad gave me his blessing. Your mom was so cute. She started to cry and said 'welcome to the family.' "
I felt my eyes start to tear up. Everything he had said was true. I had felt this way since high school. I did love him.
"Yes."
"Yes?" His face lit up.
"Yes. I will marry you. I love you. I want to be a family."
He grabbed me and spun me around. He placed the ring on my finger and kissed me. "I love you Liz."
"I love you too Michael."
He placed his hand on my stomach again. "Hear that little one? Your parents are in love and we're getting married."
"We'll live happily ever after."
Why didn't anyone ever tell me that the 'happily ever after' part at the end of fairy tales was crap. You can't just ride off into the sunset and expect things to be great. That's not real life. In real life things don't go as planned. The same was true for Michael and I.
WARNING- These next chapters are angsty, sad, and contain some violence. All is crucial to the plot.
Chapter 4
"Medication"
I don't need an education
And I learnt all I need from you
They've got me on some medication
My point of balance was askew
It keeps my temperature from rising
My blood is pumping through my veins
Somebody get me out of here
I'm tearing at myself
Nobody gives a damn about me
or anybody else
I wear myself out in the morning
You're asleep when I get home
Please don't call me self defending
You know it cuts me to the bone
Though it's really not surprising
I hold a force I can't contain
Somebody get me out of here
I'm tearing at myself
Nobody gives a damn about me
or anybody else
And still you call me co-dependent
Somehow you laid the blame on me
Still you call me co-dependent
Somehow you laid the blame on me
Somebody get me out of here
I'm tearing at myself
I've got to make a point these days
to extricate myself
Somebody get me out of here
I'm tearing at myself
Nobody gives a damn about me
or anybody else
And still you call me co-dependent
Somehow you laid the blame on me
And still you call me co-dependent
Somehow you laid the blame on me
Somehow you laid the blame on me
Somehow you laid the blame on me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The past few months had been going pretty well. I was now almost six months pregnant and as big as a house.
We didn't know what to expect from a hybrid-changed human pregnancy so we were worried at first. So far everything had been normal, just like a human pregnancy. That is of course except for the fact that our daughter and I were linked telepathically and that Michael could talk to her through me just by touching my stomach.
I had only used my powers once at the beginning of my pregnancy and we decided that I shouldn't risk it again. I had only tried to change the color of a shirt I was going to wear, but when I moved my hand over it this intense pain shot through my stomach and I could hear our daughter's screams in my head. Michael sensed something was wrong and ran upstairs to find my hunched over on the bed. Max rushed over and checked me out and I ended up being fine, but we decided not to chance it again.
So now Mr. and Mrs. Guerin were awaiting the arrival of Mikayla Eliana. We sat home one Sunday and went through a baby book looking for names. I knew I wanted to name her after Michael so Mikayla was a definite. Eliana just kind of clicked. It means God has answered me and I knew it made perfect sense. I had asked God before Michael and I started our relationship to please let my life be happy for once. So to me Mikayla was exactly that, God's answer.
Michael, Mikayla, and me were a real family. My parents decided to stay in Santa Fe and run the new restaurant so as a wedding present they gave us the apartment and restaurant. They just signed them over like they were nothing. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that they are the happiest grandparents-to-be I've ever seen. Sometimes it's kind of overwhelming, all the people watching over me, making sure the two of us are safe.
Michael has been so cute. I never thought he'd be the type to worry incessantly, but I guess it's just because we're the first real family he has. The entire time the break-ins were going on he refused to go away at night.
Now it had been almost two weeks since the last break-in and we all figured they were done. Michael had to go to Ruidoso to get some supplies for the restaurant so I finally had some alone time. I drew a bath and tried to relax.
That's when I heard the sound from downstairs. It was the sound of breaking glass.
I got out of the tub as fast a second trimester pregnant woman can and put on my robe. I sent my thoughts to Michael "Please get home, I think someone is trying to break in."
I heard him respond through Mikayla.
"Daddy says call 911 and stay up here."
I called 911 but there was no way I could just stand here. I heard whoever it was coming up the stairs quietly. It was only 5:00 but the fact that it was Winter made it very dark. Thank God I had heightened senses after I changed, because all of the lights in the house except for in the bathroom were off.
I tried to walk as quietly as I could downstairs. My thoughts were if I could just make it down the police would be there momentarily and Michael would be right behind them.
Boy was I wrong. No sooner had I crept out of my room then the attempted robber pounce. I knew I couldn't use my powers, and it's kind of hard for someone this big to do any sort or martial arts I had learned over the summer.
The guy was too strong. He had to be at least 6'2" and weighed over 200 lbs. And on top of it, he had a weapon.
I heard Michael say "I'll be right there."
I sent him "I love you. Please hurry."
I tried to hit him in the sensitive areas of the body, but he was too strong. He acted like I was a ragdoll. He slapped me across the face and threw me on the ground. He advanced and I had no choice but to act fast.
I put a shield around me and heard Mikayla scream. I apologized profusely {I'm sorry baby, Daddy will be here soon, just hold on a little longer Eli.}
Soon the pain and screaming were too much. As soon as the shield fell I felt the knife. It slid into my stomach and I no longer heard Eli scream.
I let out the loudest saddest sound I had ever heard and used the small amount of power I had left to throw him across the room effectively knocking him unconscious.
At that exact moment I heard Michael and the police bust in downstairs.
I looked down at myself. There was blood soaking through my robe and I couldn't feel Mikayla. Michael rushed over to my side and tried to connect with her. I heard the police call for an ambulance and fast. I was losing a lot of blood.
Michael looked down at me and started to cry. I knew then that our baby was gone. The combination of the powers and the knife had destroyed the perfect little life that I held inside.
That's when the sobs began to rake through my body. That was the last thing I remember before I woke up in a hospital bed.
~~~~~~~
My eyes were squinting under the harsh lights. I remembered what happened and didn't want to face the fact that my happy ending wasn't going to happen. My child was dead. Our child was dead, and it was my fault.
You're probably asking how was it my fault that that poor excuse for a human being decided to kill my child? That wasn't. What was my fault was the fact that he was given the chance. Michael told me to stay there but I didn't listen. I had to leave the safety of my room, I just had to.
He noticed I was awake and came over. I felt his hand on my forehead moving the matted hair out of my eyes.
"Hey baby. Glad you came back to me."
"She's- She's gone Michael, and it's my fault."
"No, shh.... don't say that. It's not your fault."
But I looked into his eyes and knew what he was thinking. {Why couldn't she just have stayed in that room?}
"It is. I left the bedroom, I used my powers. I killed Eli."
I started to cry and he held me. At that moment a nurse came in.
"Mrs. Guerin, I see you're awake. You gave us quite a scare."
"How long was I out?"
"Ten days."
"Ten days?" I started to panic. "I killed her, and I didn't get to see her buried."
"Shh.... I'm just gonna give you something to help you relax now."
"No, I don't want any drugs. I killed her, I need to feel this pain."
She didn't listen. I saw her add something to my IV and then everything went black again.
The next time I woke up Michael was gone. In his place was my mother.
"He just went home to get you some clothes and fill your prescriptions. The doctor said you could leave tomorrow morning."
"Prescriptions?"
"A pain killer and an anti-depressant. You said you blamed yourself for the baby dying. They were worried you'd try to hurt yourself."
"It was my fault. Even Michael knows it. I deserve to feel pain. I don't want medication."
"Don't say that sweetie. Michael loves you. This is going to be hard on the two of you, but your relationship is strong enough to pull through."
"You don't understand! I killed our daughter!"
"Now you stop that!" My mom was standing up and she looked pissed to say the least. "It was not your fault. It was that bastard who stabbed you, but he'll get what's coming to him. He'll go to jail and never get out if I have any say in it. It's best if you just forget the entire situation and move on with your life."
{Forget? How could I forget feeling a life inside of me and having it ripped away? I knew I'd have scars on my stomach from the knife, so every day I'd see that reminder.}
"Forget? I'll never forget. Every time I look at the children Michael and I will have I'll see her. I'll wonder why she couldn't be here with her brothers and sisters."
Now my mom was crying. "They didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
"The knife didn't only go into you once. They estimate he stabbed you at least three times. Each time he went deeper. The damage was too severe."
"What are you saying?"
"They had to remove your cervix. You can't have any children. I'm so sorry baby."
I swear I just sat there letting it all soak in. I was not even nineteen and I was as good as barren. I had ovaries, I could have a surrogate, but who would hold an alien baby. I would never feel a child in me again. I lost it right there.
Michael came in and saw me upset. He didn't think I noticed when he turned around and walked away.
My perfect life was over.
~~~~~~~
I returned home the next day and Michael was waiting. He tried to make everything normal but nothing would ever be again. He had already taken all of Mikayla's stuff out of her room and painted over the mural he had made on her wall. It was now white, and cold, and empty. It no longer held the warmth and vivacious nature it previously had.
She was really gone and I knew it.
I took the medicine the doctor prescribed mainly because I knew if I didn't the pain would be too much, physically and emotionally.
I had lost a lot of blood and they were worried they'd lose me as well.
The first night back Michael just held me while I cried. He told me he thought his entire life had left him that night. He stayed by my bed the entire time. He slept in a chair and refused to leave until I woke up.
"We can't have children Michael. I can't give you a child. It's all because I was stupid. Why was I so stupid?"
He didn't say anything. He only held me until I fell asleep. When I woke up in the morning the bed was empty. There was a note on the night stand.
Went to open up. Stay in bed. I'll be up later. - Michael
Not love Michael, just Michael. It felt cold. Where had all of the love gone?
Chapter 5
"Special"
I'm living without you
But I know all about you
I have run you down into the ground
Spread disease about you over town
I used to adore you
I couldn't control you
There was nothing that I wouldn't do
to keep myself around and close to you
Do you have an opinion?
A mind of your own?
I thought you were special
I thought you should know
but I've run out of patience
I couldn't care less
I...
I...
Do you have an opinion?
A mind of your own?
I thought you were special
I thought you should know
I used to amuse you
But I knew that I'd lose you
Now you're here and begging for a chance
but there's no way in hell I'd take you back
Do you have an opinion?
A mind of your own?
I thought you were special
I thought you should know
but I've run out of patience
I've run out of comments
I'm tired of violence
I couldn't care less
I'm looking for a new...
I'm looking for a new...
I'm looking for a new...
I'm looking for a new
You were the talk of the town
You were the talk of the town
You were the talk of the town
You were the talk of the town
I thought you were special
I thought you were special
I thought you were special
I thought you were special
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes when your life is bad you try to think back to when things were good. I sat in that bed alone trying to think of our wedding night. It was perfect, it was beautiful. But all I could think of was the bad times.
My mind drifted to a time when Michael and I almost ended before we had even started.
Max and I had broken up, but we were still really close. I could still feel the eyes on me as I walked around.
Michael was staring even more than before.
I had to do something about it.
I wrote him a note telling him to meet me in the Eraser Room. I had to get to the bottom of this situation before it drove me insane.
He walked in all casual and cocky like he was the shit.
"You arrogant sonovabitch."
That perked him right up. "Parker, didn't know you had it in you."
God, he was so infuriating. "You're such a bastard, you know that?"
"Why did you give me that note if I'm a bastard?"
"I had to talk to you."
He sat down and leaned back against the well. "Well, then talk."
"Uggh!"
"Are we cave people suddenly?"
"You mean Neanderthals? Sorry, you just bring out the primal side of me." {Did I really just say that?}
He stood up. {Oh crap, he's coming to me.}
"I thought that was what this was about."
His lips descended on mine and I didn't stop it. That first kiss was intense. All of the months of pent up sexual tension were coming to the surface. He picked me up and moved to the wall. I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist.
He moved his lips and was suddenly licking, sucking, biting at every piece of my exposed flesh. His lips were definitely my favorite part of him.
Suddenly I realized what was happening and I pushed him off of me. "Get off!"
He looked really hurt. "What the fuck? You wanted it. You're a tease."
That's all it took. I backhanded him so hard that there was a handprint on his cheek. "Don't you ever talk to me like that again."
I grabbed my bag and walked out. I swear I heard him behind me calling my name.
Everyone turned to see Michael standing there with a bright red cheek and an obviously painful arousal.
"Didn't know you had it in you Parker."
All I did to respond to their comments was to flick them off over my shoulder.
~~~~~~~
Of course I had to have work that night. I had to close with Michael.
After the last customer left and I locked up I saw him move toward me.
"I don't want to hear it Michael."
"Liz please, just hear me out. I'm sorry I don't know what happened to me. I guess I just felt rejected."
"Michael, do you know what people were saying all day? That we have been seeing each other for months and that's the real reason why Maria left and why Max and I broke up."
"Screw them."
"Michael, you don't understand. As bad as this is gonna sound I don't like the idea of wanting you. You're spontaneous, and violent, and I don't know if I have the patience to deal with that."
"You don't have the patience? Liz, I'm not Max. You can't control me. I have a short temper and I'm probably gonna hurt you sometimes, but that's me. I can't change that."
"What exactly are you asking for Michael?"
"Take me back."
"I wasn't aware I ever had you."
He walked over and placed my hand on his heart. "You always have."
"I won't. I can't. I don't want to. You think you're so damn special. You think you have this force on me. You think you're the shit. 'Everyone knows Michael Guerin. Don't fuck with him, he'll go crazy on you.' "
"Since when do you swear this much?"
"Since you came around. God! You're so damn frustrating. I don't want you. Leave. I'll finish by myself."
"Liz-"
"LEAVE!!!"
"If it means anything at all, I'm sorry."
He turned around and walked away.
~~~~~~~
Obviously I 'took him back.' I realized at that time how much of a hold I had on him. I also realized how even though there was so much bad in him there was so much good as well. I knew that if I wanted the good I'd have to deal with the bad.
But that was then and this is now. Will things ever be good again?
Chapter 6
"Hammering In My Head"
I was stressed but you're freestyle
I'm overworked but I'm undersexed
I must be made of concrete
I signed my name across your chest
Give out the same old answers
I trot them out for the relatives
Company tried and tested
I use the ones that I love the best
Like an animal you're moving over me
Like an animal you're moving over me
When did I get perverted
I can't remember your name
I'm growing introverted
You touch my hand but it's not the same
This was so unexpected
I never thought I'd get caught
Play boomerang with your demons
Shoot to kill and you'll pop them off (bang bang)
Like an animal you're moving over me
Like an animal you're moving over me
You should be sleeping my love
Tell me what you're dreaming of
You should be sleeping my love
Tell me what you're dreaming of
You should be sleeping my lover
Tell me what you're dreaming of
You should be sleeping my lover
Tell me what you're dreaming of
I knew you were mine for the taking
I knew you were mine for the taking
Knew you were mine taking when I walked in the room
I knew you were mine for the taking
I knew you were mine for the taking
Your eyes light up when I walk in the room
A hammering in my head don't stop in the bullet train
From Tokyo to Los Angeles
I'm leaving you behind
A flash in the pan
A storm in a teacup
A needle in a haystack
A prize for the winning
A dead for the raising
A catch for the chasing
A jewel for the choosing
A man for the making
in this blistering heat
Sweat it all out
Sweat it all out
With your bedroom eyes and your baby pout
Sweat it all out
In our electric storms and our shifting sands
and our candy jars and our sticky hands
Sweat it all out
Sweat it all out
Sweat it all out
Sweat it all out
Sweat it all out
Sweat it all out
Don't forget what I wrote you then
And don't forget what I told you then
And don't forget that I meant it when
And don't forget your ventolin
So hammering in my head don't stop
In the bullet train from Tokyo to Los Angeles
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After Michael brought me my lunch my brain started to wander again. Finally a happy time came to mind. Our wedding night.
I was three months pregnant and I had started to show. Michael insisted still looked beautiful. The dress I had worn was a-line so it drew attention away from my ever-growing stomach.
The wedding was beautiful. It was simple, less than thirty people total. Maria managed to come back and be my maid of honor. It was perfect.
Money was kind of tight, so instead of having a honeymoon we just closed up the Crashdown for a few days and stayed in.
I had been working nonstop and we had practically no time alone. But when Michael saw me walking down the aisle the look in his eyes was indescribable. There was awe, and desire, and pure love.
Our wedding night was definitely not what I had expected. We hadn't made love for several weeks to make the night more special, and I had spent the night before with Maria at the Deluca's house.
Michael carried me over the threshold and told me how beautiful I looked. He talked to the baby and told her that she should see her mom.
"I know you'll grow up to be just as gorgeous as she is."
My heart melted anytime he talked to her. Sometimes I would wake up and his head would be on my stomach. He said he was listening to her breath.
I never thought he'd be that way, but people surprise you sometimes.
He told me to wait a minute, that he'd be right back.
He came back out and picked me up again.
"Michael, you already carried me over the threshold. You're gonna hurt yourself."
"Liz, you weigh nothing. Just enjoy yourself."
He brought me into our room, at least I thought it was our room. Somehow in the course of a day he had managed to transform it and make it absolutely beautiful.
There were candles all around and rosebuds on the sheets, which were now a creme satin. The ceiling flickered and I realized he made it look like the sky.
"Michael, it's beautiful. How?"
"Anything for you."
I knew he really meant that. Looking back I'm not sure if he meant forever, or just for that night.
We made love and it was like the first time. He talked to Eli before and told her not to be scared. It was just adorable. When we orgasmed it was surreal. I felt like the three of us were connected and were on a whole other level.
Afterwards I fell asleep. When I woke up I realized he hadn't slept. He was sitting up just staring at me.
"What?"
"Do you have any idea what I'm feeling right now? When I saw you walk down the aisle all I could think was 'I'm the luckiest guy in the world. Liz loves me. This beautiful, intelligent, perfect woman loves me. She's carrying my child.' I think since I found out you were pregnant I love you in this whole other way. You're not just my wife, you're the mother of my child. My future children."
I started to cry and he just held me.
That night was probably the happiest of my entire life.
But now I'm sitting here in my bed wondering what happens next? The rest of my life can't be like this. I'm still a teenager. I'm married, on sabbatical from college, and I have no cervix. How's that for harsh reality?
Chapter 7
"Push It"
I was angry when I met you
I think I'm angry still
We can try and talk it over
If you say you'll help me out
Don't worry baby
No need to fight
Don't worry baby
We'll be alright
This is the noise that keeps me awake
My head explodes and my body aches
Push it, make the beats go harder
Push it, make the beats go harder
Sorry that I hurt you
Please don't ask me why
I want to see you happy
I want to see you shine
Don't worry baby
Don't be uptight
Don't worry baby
We'll stay up all night
This is the noise that keeps me awake
My head explodes and my body aches
Push it, make the beats go harder
Push it, make the beats go harder
Come on push it, you can do it
Come on prove it, nothing to it
Come on use it, let's get through it
Come on push it, you can do it
Don't worry baby
Don't be uptight
Don't worry baby
We'll stay up all night
This is the noise that keeps me awake
My head explodes and my body aches
Push it, make the beats go harder
Push it, make the beats go harder
(this is the noise that keeps me awake)
Push it, make the beats go harder
(my head explodes and my body aches)
Push it, make the beats go harder
(this is the noise that keeps me awake
my head explodes and my body aches)
Don't worry baby
We'll be alright
Don't worry baby
We'll be alright
Push it
Push it
Push it
Push it
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next few weeks were pretty much the same. Michael and I had fallen into a pattern. He was gone when I woke up, I took night classes and didn't get home till he was asleep.
I had nightmares constantly. I heard Eli screaming in my head. She was saying "Please Mommy, make the pain stop."
Michael didn't help. He pretty much ignored me. There was still this dull pain throughout my body. I didn't think it would ever go away. I figured this is what it felt like to have everything inside of you ripped out in an instant.
I realized that the entire time we had been sleeping together I hadn't spoken my mind like that night in the Crashdown. I had all this anger that I hadn't let out.
I just wanted to scream. I wanted to start a fight with him. I wanted to argue and be violent. Anything to know we were still alive. Anything to prove there was still passion.
I pushed every button he had. I'd yell at him for the smallest things.
Finally one night I had had enough. I confronted Michael. I told him about the nightmares, about the pain, the headaches. He made it seem like I should just get over it. I told him that she was ours. I wasn't the only one hurting and I knew it. He said that it was my fault she was dead. That almost hurt worse than losing her.
I left and didn't come back until the next morning. He slept on the couch from that night on.
We didn't talk. When my parents visited we acted like everything was perfect. Even though I was so angry with him for those few hours it was like before. I felt like a teenager in love, which was what I was supposed to be.
They would leave and it would be silence again.
I didn't know what was going on in his head. If I did maybe things wouldn't have gotten so bad.
*****Chapters 8-11 are Michael's POV and should help you guys see why he's done the things he has. The last chapter flips back and forth between Liz and Michael. Oh, and the thing that happens, I checked out medical books cuz I wanted to make sure it could. It's entirely possible under the circumstances. (You'll know what I mean!)*****
Chapter 8
"The Trick Is To Keep Breathing"
She's not the kind of girl
who likes to tell the world
about the way she feels about herself
She takes a little time
in making up her mind
She doesn't want to fight against the tide
Lately I'm not the only one
I say never trust anyone
Always the one who has to drag her down
Maybe you'll get what you want this time around
Can't bear to face the truth
So sick he cannot move
and when it hurts he takes it out on you
Lately I'm not the only one
I say never trust anyone
Always the one who has to drag her down
Maybe you'll get what you want this time around
The trick is to keep breathing
The trick is to keep breathing
She knows the human heart
and how to read the stars
Now everything's about to fall apart
I won't be the one who's going to let you down
Maybe you'll get what you want this time around
(the trick is to keep breathing)
I won't be the one who's going to let you down
(the trick is to keep breathing)
Maybe you'll get what you want this time around
The trick is to keep breathing
The trick is to keep breathing
The trick is to keep breathing
The trick is to keep breathing
The trick is to keep breathing
The trick is to keep breathing
The trick is to keep breathing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I knew it wasn't just sex from the beginning. I had always wanted Liz, I had always loved Liz. So when Max told me they were having problems I allowed myself to look at her more frequently, more freely. She sensed it and I knew it. I also knew she was attracted to me yet denied it. That may sound cocky, but you have to understand, Liz wears her heart on her sleeve and she always has. That's one of the things that first attracted me to her, the fact that she didn't hide her feelings. If she hated you you knew, and if she loved you, well you were one of the luckiest people in the world.
That day in the Eraser Room was the best and almost the worst of my life. Our first kiss wasn't chaste. It was passionate, full of love, full of desire. But she left, she walked out. I thought she would never let me touch her again.
We graduated and things changed. Max knew how I felt and told me to take care of her. The Parkers left and I spent most of my time with her at work. I remember the first time we had sex. It wasn't love yet, but I'll get to that later.
The break-ins started and I pretty much moved in. I sensed her feelings for me begin to change. She realized it wasn't just sex. I mean, we were living together, working together, sleeping together, loving each other.
And then came the night I knew I'd marry her. I got into bed with her like usual. Somehow we had run out of condoms. I told her we didn't need to do that, we could just sleep. She turned to look at me.
I still remember exactly what she said. "Michael, I need you to make love to me."
We sealed out fate that night, in that bed. I knew by the look in her eyes that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I also knew the exact moment I impregnated her. It was strange, it was like I could see it happening. My daughter and I were connected, we communicated before Liz even knew she existed.
I knew when she was due to get her period and I made sure to have the ring and talk to the Parkers first. I felt for the first time that I was doing the right thing. I was in love, I was a father, and I'd soon be a husband.
We got married and everything was great for a while. The break-ins had stopped as far as we could tell and we needed to get supplies. I made sure all of the doors were locked and tried to go as fast as safely possible.
Just as I finished loading up the car I was hit with a wave of emotions. I heard Kaylie and Liz in my head. They were in trouble. I told them to call 911 and to stay where they were. I would be home as soon as possible.
I think I drove as fast as the car would go all the way home. I knew Liz was stubborn. There was no way she'd stay put. I also knew she couldn't use her powers. I was a few blocks away from home when I heard Kaylie screaming in my head. She was telling me to hurry, she was in pain. I knew Liz had no other choice but to use her powers. She loved Kaylie, or Eli as she liked to call her, she would never hurt her.
Then I heard them both scream. It was followed by silence. Liz's sobs filled the silence. I screamed out loud with all of my strength.
I got to the Crashdown just as the police did. I ran upstairs and found Liz bleeding from her lower abdomen. There was so much blood. I tried to connect with the baby, but there was nothing, she was gone. Liz knew too. She lost consciousness and I thought my entire life had ended.
When I got to the hospital they took her away. I handled the services for Kaylie. I picked out her coffin, her headstone, the engraving. I buried our daughter alone.
I was never mad at Liz, I never blamed her. I always blamed myself. If she didn't start a relationship with me this never would've happened. I just kept telling myself that.
But I loved her and she loved me. I knew we had to stick together, everything would be fine. We would get over this someday, it was only a matter of time.
When she woke up she blamed herself. I didn't say anything, I didn't want to upset her further.
Her mom and I didn't tell her the whole truth. The surgeon had only removed part of her cervix. She could get pregnant, but the chance of her carrying to term was small. More than likely she would miscarry. If we told her should would have wanted to risk it and I couldn't let her go through that.
In the ten days that she was unconscious I took everything out of the apartment that would remind her of Kaylie. I only stayed away less than two hours a day, but it didn't take too long. I made the mural disappear. It hurt like hell. It felt like I was erasing my daughter's very existence. But I thought I was doing the right thing.
Liz came home and stayed in bed. I knew she was in pain, but she didn�t want Max to heal her. I think it was more emotional pain than anything. She thought she needed to feel the pain.
After a few weeks she tried to argue with me any chance she got. I knew what she was doing. She was trying to make me feel.
Finally I blew up. I told her what I thought she wanted to hear. I told her it was her fault. I regretted it instantly. She stormed out and didn�t come back till the next morning. I�ve been sleeping on the couch ever since.
Chapter 9
"Dumb"
I never claimed to be your saviour
I said I had a dirty mouth
Stop analysing my behaviour
If you're too dumb to work it out
I've got to keep myself together
You know how I hate to disappoint
A masochistic lamb to slaughter
Maybe you've missed the point
I'm feeling small
I'm climbing the walls
I don't let it show
Now that you know what you know
I bet you wish that it would go
You'll never come sucking your thumb
Better off dumb
Maybe I could write a letter
to help me with my self-esteem
You should get to know me better
No-one's ever what they seem
I'm feeling small
Climbing the walls
I don't let it show
Now that you know what you know
I bet you wish that it would go
You'll never come sucking your thumb
Better off dumb
You still don't know what you think of me
You still don't know what you mean to me
You still don't know what to think of me
You still don't know what you think of me
Now that you know what you know
I bet you wish that it would go
You'll never come sucking your thumb
Better off dumb
Now that you know what you know
You're going to reap what you sow
Nothing will come sucking your thumb
Better off dumb
You still don't know what you think of me
You still don't know what you mean to me
You still don't know what to think of me
You still don't know what you think of me
You still don't know what you think of me
You still don't know what you think of me
You still don't know what you think of me
You still don't know what you think of me
You still don't know what I think of you
You still don't know what you think of me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Liz left me tonight. She told me where she went the night we fought. She went to Max.
She made him tell her exactly what was done to her. She knew we had lied. She told me we could have more children. Max said he would help in any way possible. I felt it was too risky and I told her so.
She flipped out. She said it was because I didn�t love her anymore. It was because I didn�t want her. And then she left. I fell to the ground and started crying. I don�t know how long I stayed down. My entire life was crashing around me and I didn�t know what to do.
~~~~~~~
She�s been away for two weeks. No calls, no letters, nothing. I just wish I knew if she was okay.
I visited Kaylie�s grave today. I brought her white roses, but when I got there there was already a bouquet. I think it was from Liz.
I�ve been thinking maybe I should let her take the risk, with the pregnancy. I mean, one try can�t hurt. If something does go wrong Max�ll be there.
I got home and noticed the light in our room was on. She was there. She was on the bed curled up crying. I did the only thing I could. I held her.
She apologized, I apologized. She said that Max tried to heal the damage but he said there was nothing he could heal. She loved me and just wanted to be normal again. I told her nothing could be the same again.
We had to be honest from now on, we had to figure out how we felt about each other. We fell asleep in that position, in each other�s arms.
Chapter 10
"Sleep Together"
I got you crawling up a mountain
Hanging round my neck
I got you twisted around my finger
Crawling round my legs
The emptiness
The craziness
Satisfy my hungriness
Darling how would it feel?
If we sleep together
will you like me better?
If we cum together
we'll go down forever
If we sleep together
will I like you better?
If we cum together
Prove it now or never
Make me a pretty person
Make me feel like I belong
Make me hard and make me happy
Make me beautiful
The emptiness
The craziness
Satisfy this loneliness
Darling how would it feel?
If we sleep together
will you like me better?
If we cum together
we'll go down forever
If we sleep together
will I like you better?
If we cum together
Prove it now or never
If we sleep together (nothing satisfies me baby)
If we sleep together (I'll wear something pretty baby)
If we sleep together (give me what I crave now baby)
If we sleep together (you will drive me crazy baby)
If we sleep together (save the rest for later baby)
If we sleep together (I save it all for you my baby)
If we sleep together
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I dreamed of our first night together.
We were closing up and it was around midnight. It had to be about ninety-five degrees outside and the air conditioning wasn�t working. It was almost three months after the incident in the Eraser Room. We had kissed a few times since then, but she was avoiding me at all costs.
She was walking around with the top button of her uniform undone. I could just see the white lace of her bra peaking out. I watched a bead of sweat drip from her temple onto her collarbone. It drifted down to her cleavage. I wished I was that bead of sweat.
She dropped her towel accidentally (at least I think it was an accident) and went to pick it up. She bent at her waist, not ladylike at all, but I definitely wasn�t complaining. I saw the milky skin at the top of her thighs where it met her ass and almost lost it right there.
She stood up and turned to look at me. She brought her hand to her forehead and used it to wipe off some of the sweat. I unconsciously licked my lips.
She noticed and spoke. "It sure is hot in here."
"Yeah." I said it very low. I was so aroused that I could barely speak.
"I have a change of clothes in my locker, I�ll be right back."
"Okay."
She brushed past me and I felt like I was on fire. I couldn�t help but look when she came out. She was wearing the smallest tank top and the shortest shorts I�d ever seen. Her hair was on the top of her head in a messy bun. I didn�t think it was possible to get any more turned on then I was at the moment.
I was wrong. "You look hot. Here, let me help you."
She walked up to me and took off my apron. She moved to pull off my shirt and I saw the look in her eyes. She practically ripped off my shirt. I picked her up and moved to the backroom.
Her breathing increased as I kissed her heaving breasts. She tasted like salt with just a hint of vanilla. It was intoxicating. I looked at her face.
"Liz."
"Please Michael, I need to feel you."
How can you resist someone begging you to do what you�ve wanted to since practically the first moment you met?
We stripped feverishly. We moved to the floor. We had just cleaned it and it was the coolest place. I grabbed a condom and put it on as quick as possible.
It was like the first time I had sex. It felt so new and wonderful. Being inside Liz made me feel powerful. She was so warm and tight. Every time I touched her she moaned. Trust me, that makes you feel a lot more confident.
As I neared my breaking point I started to get flashes. They surprised me and I began to slow.
Liz opened her eyes. "Don�t stop, you feel so good."
I continued and the flashes got clearer. I was seeing things through Liz�s eyes. And what I was seeing surprised me. I was seeing me.
::FLASH::
Me with Maria. Liz felt jealous. Why couldn�t that be her?
::FLASH::
Being with Max for the first time and feeling that something wasn�t right. Something didn�t feel perfect. It was the wrong person.
::FLASH::
Our first kiss. She wanted it to be so much more but not like that.
::END FLASHES::
I felt like I was about to explode. I looked at her and knew she was close. I sped up the pace and grabbed her legs. I wrapped them around me and slammed into her as fast as possible.
I had the most intense orgasm ever. I continued to move inside Liz until her body stopped shaking.
But then everything was weird. What had just happened? I got up and got dressed. I finished and looked at her.
"See you tomorrow."
"Yeah."
And I left, just like that.
Chapter 11
"Wicked Ways"
I tried hard to mend my wicked ways
Acted like a lunatic for years
Lord knows I try to be good
I'd keep my promises if only I could
You count your blessings that I can't rely on you
And I tried...
And I tried...
And I tried...
And I tried...
Clutch your pictures of the Pope
Pray to God for love and hope
Bring the Virgin home for luck
Bolt the door to keep it shut
I've done things I never thought I'd do
Sure it helps to lose myself in you
A little time and I'll be all right
C'mon sugar, let's go out tonight
Forgive your trespasses and all that we've been through
And I tried...
And I tried...
And I tried...
And I tried...
Clutch your pictures of the Pope
Pray to God for love and hope
Bring the Virgin home for luck
Bolt the door to keep it shut
That sinking feeling
When you are leaving
All I believe in
Walks out the door
I tried hard to mend my wicked ways
The damage done and nothing left to save
And I tried... and I tried...
Clutch your pictures of the Pope (just like I told you)
Pray to God for love and hope (just like I warned you)
Bring the Virgin home for luck (just like I told you)
Bolt the door to keep it shut (just like I warned you)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When we woke up the next day it represented a new beginning for us. We were going to make the best our of life that we possibly could.
We rebuilt our trust. We tried to get over all the problems our relationship had ever had.
Every night Liz would pray. I don�t think she knew I heard her, but she did. She had never been very religious but Kaylie changed that.
She prayed for another child. Just one. All she wanted was one healthy child. She told God how we had made our relationship stronger, healthier.
I don�t know if I believe in God, but I admit if she could have a baby I would go to church every week.
We had also become intimate again. We were trying for another child even if neither of us would admit it.
Liz had a check up with her gynecologist to see how her body had healed. I went with her for support.
What we were told surprised us. It seemed that the surgeon had only removed a very small part of her cervix. The doctor asked if Liz�s periods had been normal and if there had been any discomfort during intercourse. He then said something that almost made me cry.
"Mrs. Guerin, your body has healed very well."
"What exactly does that mean?" I sort of felt stupid but I had to know.
"Well, I don�t know what the doctors at the hospital told you, but barring any unforeseen complications you should have no problem having children. You�ll have to do normal check ups, but it seems very promising. I�ll leave you two alone."
"Thank you doctor." I spoke since Liz seemed dumbstruck.
He walked out and I turned to Liz. She was crying.
"Baby, what�s wrong?"
"God answered my prayers."
It was a miracle, plain and simple. I held her till she calmed down. She got changed and went home. When we got there she started running around. She was the happiest I had seen her since Kaylie died.
"Let�s start trying right now."
"Liz, it�s only been three months."
"I don�t care. Michael, we need to try."
"Why am I resisting my wife asking me to make love to her?"
"Exactly."
She ran across the room and leapt into my arms.
"Now impregnate me ya big lug."
"Yes ma�am."
We made love and it was so sweet it was almost painful. Does that make sense?
Anyway, she didn�t get pregnant that night. It was kind of upsetting, but it wasn�t the right spot in her cycle. She got one of those fertility testers and checked every day.
We tried for months and it hadn�t worked yet. But Liz never lost her confidence. She kept on saying that it would happen at the right time.
At the beginning of October Maria called and said she was coming for a visit. She stayed for a few weeks and it was actually surprising the way we all were around each other. It was like no time had passed. Liz knew she didn�t have to worry about me and Maria. I only had eyes for her and she knew it. Maria was my past. Liz was my present, my future.
I noticed how Liz seemed to act around Maria. She acted like she was a teenager again. I liked it. The last year had been so somber and serious, so adult. It was nice to see Liz let loose.
I heard them talking one night about Kaylie. Liz told her how she stopped blaming herself because I had showed her it wasn�t her fault. She also told her how we were trying to have another baby but so far it hadn�t worked.
Maria opened her bag and gave her a vial.
"Maria, what is this?"
"Cedar oil, good for stress."
"Uh yeah, I can read. I meant why are you giving it to me?"
"Ever think that the reason you�re not getting pregnant is because you�re trying too hard? You�re so preoccupied with having a baby that you�re not enjoying that stallion of a husband. It�ll happen when it�s time."
I had to admit I liked hearing myself being compared to a stallion.
But Maria was right, maybe we were trying too hard.
Chapter 12
"You Look So Fine"
You look so fine
I want to break your heart
and give you mine
You're taking me over
It's so insane
You've got me tethered and chained
I hear your name
and I'm falling over
I'm not like all the other girls
I can't take it like the other girls
I won't share it like the other girls
that you used to know
You look so fine
Knocked down
Cried out
Been down just to find out
I'm through
Bleeding for you
I'm open wide
I want to take you home
We'll waste some time
You're the only one for me
You look so fine
I'm like the desert tonight
Leave her behind
I f you want to show me
I'm not like all the other girls
I won't take it like the other girls
I won't fake it like the other girls
that you used to know
You're taking me over
Over and over
I'm falling over
Over and over
You're taking me over
(drown in me one more time)
(hide inside me tonight)
(do what you want to do)
(just pretend happy end)
(let me know let it show)
(ending with letting go)
(ending with letting go)
(ending with letting go)
(let's pretend happy end)
(let's pretend happy end)
(let's pretend happy end)
(let's pretend happy end)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was almost our one year wedding anniversary and I wanted it to be as special possible. I made Liz her favorite meal and changed the room to look like it did the night of our wedding.
She had tried to relax lately and not focus on getting pregnant. We had actually been going out to movies and having dinners with Max, Kyle, Isabel, and Jessie. We were living a normal life.
So anyway, back to tonight. Liz had no idea what I had planned. She had gone out shopping this afternoon and was due back any minute. I can�t wait.
~~~~~~~
Michael thinks I don�t know what�s he�s doing tonight. He�s really not that good at hiding things. He thinks I�m shopping right now but I�m actually on my way back from Isabel�s house. She helped me get ready.
I can�t wait till tonight. We�ve been a lot more relaxed and acting like newlyweds lately. It�s been fun. Having Maria visit made me realize that I should take advantage of having Michael as a husband. I mean, what�s the point of having someone as sexy as Michael as your husband and not using it for all it�s worth?
I had bought an extremely sexy dress that I knew Michael would love. It was red, his favorite color on me. It had a deep v-neck and a low scooped back. It came to quite high on my thighs and it made me look great, or at least that�s what Is said.
I put my hair in an updo with some curled tendrils down that framed my face. I felt more confident than I had in a long time. I hoped Michael appreciated it.
~~~~~~~
Liz and I had a conversation last week about the flashes we used to get when we were "only having sex." I told her how the first time I got one of her being jealous of Maria. She told me it was because she just wanted to run up to me and tell me to leave Maria and go with her.
I found it cute. It seems that all the flashes she got from me showed her how long I had loved her. She knew how I felt way before she let on. But that�s what I love about Liz, sometimes she surprises me.
~~~~~~~
I just arrived back home and I see the lights are off in our bedroom. I decide to surprise Michael by going up the fire escape ladder. But then I realize I�m wearing heels and that idea goes out the window. Instead I creep in the back door as quietly as possible. When I make it to the top of the stairs I flashed my hand across the door so that I could see through it but Michael wouldn�t know. Powers come in handy sometimes. The room looked beautiful and Michael was pacing around. He looked so sexy. He was wearing black pants with a red dress shirt. Apparently he knew it was also my favorite color on him.
I flashed my hand quickly fixing the door and tried to enter nonchalantly.
~~~~~~~
Liz entered and she looked gorgeous. Okay, maybe she knew about tonight.
It still was perfect. She didn�t know about the bedroom, there was just no way.
We ate dinner and talked. She told me I sucked at surprises. I told her there was one she didn�t know about yet.
She was genuinely shocked that she hadn�t figured it all out. I stood her up and walked her to our bedroom.
~~~~~~~
So Michael actually managed to surprise me for once. The room was amazing. It was just like our wedding night.
We slowly undressed each other and made love. It was beautiful, like the night Kaylie was created.
When we orgasmed it was wonderful. I hadn�t felt that way in so long.
When we were done he placed his hand on my stomach and looked into my eyes.
"Meet Matthew."
~~~~~~~
When I told Liz to meet Matthew she started to cry.
"What?"
"I said meet Matthew, our son."
She placed her hand on top of mine. "Our son? I�m... we�re..."
"Pregnant."
She started to cry and held me so tight I could barely breathe.
"But how?"
"Remember how you told me you were connected to Kaylie? Well so was I. I knew the second you got pregnant with her, like I did just now."
"And you never told me."
"I told you I had surprises."
"Why Matthew?"
"Well, it means Gift of God."
"It�s perfect."
"Matthew Emerson Guerin, meet your mommy and daddy."
~~~~~~~
So maybe we won�t have a fairy tale perfect happy ending. But for us, that�s alright. We�re in love, we have a son on the way, and wonderful family and friends. For us life is perfect.
THE END
