|In the day we sweat it out in the streets of a runaway American dream, and listenin' to music that wasn't sampled or MIDI-fied on a Macintosh, I thought Springsteen was one of the rockin'est groovers to ever strum a tangible guitar. I'm no music afishin'-auto, but I do know that whether E Streetin' Born to Run,
or A Cappellin' Nebraska, the boy could balladate a tune. And it's my understandin', he was also quite the employer.
I'd seen the HBO promo for his Madison Square Garden concert, and had circled the date in my mind. (....Sharpie...Left nostril...Trust me: Stick with the old, string on a finger.) Sure enough, Saturday night rolls around & I'm sittin' there watchin' a Sponge Bob Square Pants that Nik had taped for me. Sponge Bob and Patrick were blowing bubble messages back and forth to each other past Squidward. Then Squidward started interceptin' the bubbles, disguisin' his voice, and blowin' mean messages to them. It all backfired on him, of course, when Patrick wanted him....to..........Do...any..of you watch Sponge Bob?
Eventually, I realized that I'd missed the first half hour or so of the concert and lunged for the newfangled remote. (Oh yeah. Finally got that newfangled TV.) God, I hate these remotes. Ya can't find the channel changer upper/downer buttons, for all these damn numbers. Let's see. HBO....down-down-down-down-down-down-down...up-up. Cranked the amp and settled back just in time to hear him get done with Atlantic City, and apparently the audience hated it. They were all boo-ing him.
Bruuuuuuuuuce thundered on. And I mumbled along to all of my favorites. "Na-na...yeah...for the.....la-la-la...TRAMPS LIKE US! BABY WE WERE-..." From The River, to Badlands, to Murder Incorporated...He was singin' all of the songs that I'd forgotten the words to. All in all, a pretty rockin' TV concert. Although I did find it odd that he introduced everyone in the E Street band during the song 10th Avenue Freeze Out. And Madison Square Bob Sponge Garden is located at 2 Pennsylvania Plaza. (......I think that Sharpie may have bled through my calendar and inked-out a small portion of my brain.)
But then again, Springsteen's yesterday. Today, it's back to my N'Sync & Britney.
Weird how your tastes change. Back then, I also had a hungry heart for the high speed tracks. I had no use for these itty bitty circle cities. Bristol, Richmond, Nawth Wilkesburra....You could keep 'em; too slow. I had the need...the need, for...fastness. (How's that go again?. Damn Sharpie!) I much preferred watchin' a 2 1/2 mile last lap at Daytona, or a 170 mph pass in the lawn (?) at Charlotte. But with the infestation of
boa-restrictors and cookie-cutter Mile & a Half's, I slowly started enjoyin' the older shorttracks. And I slowly started understanding that it's a completely different kind of racing.....Slowly.
Now, it's gotten to where I'm more anxious for these wee ovals than I am for runways of Atlanta & Talla-dare-ya. The Martinsville track could fit in my bathroom. And with 43 cars on her, she can be a mess. Brakes are key here. Along with a good startin' spot. Aero-dam-namics mean nothing, so nobody's worried about bangin' up their nose. Which makes it the perfect place to avenge an old grudge.....And this tiny corral is OK-sized for gunfights. Yeah, I think I like these putt-putt courses.
Besides, Rusty schools 'em at the short stuff.
Hey, they're not chrome-wheeled or fuel injected in NASCAR, but let's step out over the line with a prediction or two. Trust me Wendy, I was born to do this.
Paul Parker - The pressure has been hard on Jr., but Little E Street finally got a top ten hit last week at Texas, after weeks of triple digit finishes. It's hard to be a saint in the cities that Saint Senior built. A top ten start here helps, but he's slow. 26th.
Don't expect Matt Kenseth to see the checkers anytime soon, Pam. Can't start a fire without a spark. And Matt may need to check his plug wires. Eh, so he 19th's today...He'll get better and grab a win before the season's up. But like you, I ain't expectin' the boy till August.
Jeff & Doc - Who's the Boss? Tony stanz about 16th at the start but could care less. The 20 car has a different speedo-murder incorporated into his strategy: Go just fast enough to catch that 24 car........And kill him. 12th.
Oh, and just so ya'll know, I once gave Doc a boy-band shirt....and he LOVED it.
Dave - Ya gotta hate where Sterling is startin'. He sees the river of traffic in front of him from 32nd, yet he was 16th in Happy Hour. Wait a second....Why, you sandbaggin' little volunteer. A brilliant disguise, if I must say so myself. 8th
Stacy - Hey little girl, is your Daddy home? No, Gordon's up in the Badlands. Which in this case, is located near the right front bumper of Tony Stewirked. Gordon on fire by lap 270. An edgy and dull 25th.
Lori & Tony - It's Glory Days for Rusty, Win, winner, one-th. Workin' on the Backstreets of My Hometown in Darlington County, Nebraska....Whatever play on words it takes. And Baby, I was Born to humorously use words or combinations of words to emphasize the different meanings and applications.
Oh, and look who's back? Andrea's door reappears after sinkin' off of this list. Her subscription's paid up and she's Rusty rootable. And after this race, she'll be the one dancin'....in the dark. Ain't that adoriable? (Baby I was born to humorously use wor-....Damn! Anybody got a shorter word for all this?)
Kim & Paul - This is hard....Mark Martin won this war last year, but has been strugglin' most of this year in that Viagra car....And I can't think of one uplifting song that Bruce has sung. Adam Raised a Cain?. This Hard Land? Growin' Up? Spear it in the Night?......I'm sorry, "Spirit!".....I'm sorry, 9th. Try oysters!
Ted - Steve's hour went pretty happy. Workin' on the highway and low way around this track, the Pennzoil posted a 10th in the last practice. But starts 29th, from the streets of Parkadelphia. 31st at the end.
Mollie - Hornaday rolls out 39th and when AJ found out, Ron end up like a dog that's been beat too much. But Foyt's a cool rockin' daddy when his Hornaday finishes 10th.
Waltrip - Glory Days, Mikey...Gonna pass you by!....Waltrip has been gradually finishin' worse and worse with each race. A Downbound Train. A 10th Avenue Freeze Out. I'm Goin' Down......Hey Kim & Paul, It seems to be workin' fine for Michael. Waltrip's had better days, but he'll take the 5th....teenth.
Granted, some of you may not be as polished up on your 'Bruce' as I am. Some of you may not recall the various titles I'm tossin' out here. And I'm bettin' even more of you don't have a half dozen CD's sprawled out in front of you right now, like I do. But believe me. They really are titles. I'm not the kind to make up this stuff just so I can humorously use words or combinations of words to emphasize the differ-
"Jim!!!!...Garbage needs takin' out NOW!!!"
I don't remember THAT song....But it sure sounds like the Boss.
Baby I was Born to...uh...?