TCP settings...Check.
IP compression enabled....Check.
Primary and secondary DNS numbers...Check.
FIFO buffers...Check.

Jim, you are 'Go' for throttle up.

Forever and ever, I've dreaded having to make the big move from one internet provider to another.  I'm an idiot with computers and I'm quite sure that switchin' ISP's is a matter that would best be left to my 7 year old....I just wish I'd have figured that out last week...When I was online....

I should've known.  Most of my attempts at keyboardin' any changes to this 300 MHz antique have gone terribly wrong.  I tried to change the desktop background when I first got it, and ended up havin' to reload Windows.  I've knocked us offline countless times and have permanently screwed up my DVD.  Hell, I once downloaded some porn just tryin' to re-deal a hand of far as Asunta knows.

I'd never actually thought about changing 'dots.'  Oh, I'd get those little "Free Trial" discs in the mail all the time.  The kids used 'em as Frisbees and I'd set my drinks on 'em.  No sir, I wasn't changin' nothin'.  I'd been with Gateway dot net since I bought this Gateway dot computer.  And they loaded all that
online dot
bull slash it
up before I ever plugged it in.  All I had to do was enter my name and a password.  (....I got the password right.)

But a few months ago, they started sendin' me notices that they were droppin' their online service and that I'd have to find a new ISP before the end of the year.  They also started sendin' me AOL sign up discs at the rate of 4 per week.  Add to that all the other internet carriers' CD's I've been collecting, and I'd built myself a pretty substantial list from which to choose.  And a pretty substantial set of coasters too.  Finally made my decision, and started the process of changin' over to Earthlink.

....That was last week.

For the sake of my own dignity, please don't ask what happened.  Suffice it to say my internet accessibility met my innate hillbillity.  And while y'all have been traipsin' around the wwworld, I've been stuck at this webless keyboard for a week with one hand on my disc and the other on my mouse.  (....And no, I wasn't playin' solitaire.)

I'd hoped to wrap this year up with a few predictions about the banquet.  Or possibly a critique on all the new networks and their NASCAR coverage.  I'd also thought about doin' a year-ender on everything that's happened in this sport in 2001, but nothin' really springs to mind.  Well, 'cept for-.....I don't wanna talk about it.

But y'all know all this already.  Y'all have had the luxury of readin' all about it over the past week.  The only thing I got left is a coupla rumors about the Foyt car, and the results to all my predictions.  And you're not really interested in THAT, are you?


(ahem)  It's probably gonna be Lepage or Compton in the 14 car next year.

Hope y'all have endured this blather as mu-.......I hope y'all have
enjoyed this blather as much as I've had spewin' it.  Thanks for bein' such good sports.  And to show my appreciation, I'm thinkin' 'bout sendin' each of you a little Christmas present....Maybe a nice set of coasters.

Jim Nelson
Last One
Asinine OnLine...1000 Hours Free.
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