| I think, there are, 4 yams...And while that may not seem too terribly interesting to ya'll, bear with me. We're what, four races into the season and I've already run outta tropics to white about....And vice averse. Anybody got anything they wanna banter over? Somebody think of somethin'. I dearly need an idea...Lee. Okay....... We, of course, always have sweet potatoes on Thanksgivin'. The brown sweeter, the better. But this marshmallow thing, I never got. Do any of ya'll like 'em that way? Tell us about it. (......C'mon. Think, Jim.) Now, is it nutmeg or cloves that you can put in 'em? I can never remember. Doesn't really matter. I never have nutmeg or cloves in my little spice rackette anyway. Cinnamon I use some-inin-times. But I found this stuff called allspice that I assume you can substitute for anything. I'll have to give that a try. (Think, think, think....Anything's better than yams....) Aw, screw it. Why think? Therefore, I am...gonna be the topic. I was born in a small log hospital in Kentucky, raised by two loving parents, and have never tried to assassinate a celebrity or political head of state. I'm a virgo. I prefer a medium ball point pen. I drink too little, and don't like pina coladas....Nor getting caught in the rain. Ginger, rather than Mary Ann. Make that, Ginger OVER Mary Ann....I can do a chin-up. I'm 4' 23" tall. And a NASCAR fan 365 minutes a week. (An hour or 2 to write this. 3 hours for the race. Another 45 minutes takin' congratulatory calls on my predictions. And 20 to put away my toy cars....Yep, 365.) You folks can't know how lucky you are just to know me. Scoff as you may at my pre-sagitatin', I'm a pretty impotent part of NASCAR. And I've got my fair share of pull. Cat named Gary Nelson is "Director of No-Cheatin", and turns out we're kin. (Traced it through my Nelson Family Tree.....Connects up with Gary's right around Camelot.) I'm pretty tight with some of the racers too. I once gotta nod from Steve Grissom in the garage. I also bumped into one Michael Waltrip as well. And he was nice enough to tell me, quite colorfully, where not to be during Happy Hour. Matter of fact a few of the drivers were quick to offer me the same advice. Yeah, we've talked. And I've got my role each Sunday...."Director of Anti Chaos-ity." Hell, think about this: If I wasn't there, the Kodiak car would just be the Kodak car. (And again, for Dave: "If i wasn't there,...") ......(sigh)....So, do you use marshmallow cream? Or just melt the big, puffy ones? Speakin' of big puffy ones, Hey Doc & Jeff...Your boy, Tony Stewpert brought a real peach of a car to Atlanta. Startin' 35th and fuzzy in practice. Keyword Sunday....Pits. I'm thinkin' 14th. Mollie...Ron Hornaday is startin' 15th and has finished 15th in two practice sessions. Best hope AJ don't get a whiffteenth of where he'll finish. The Foyteen in 19th. Stacy....Jeff Gordon is marchin' into Atlanta like Gen'l Sherman. Took a 3rd at the Rock and a snoozer at Las Vagueness. I'm cogitin' 2nd. Sweet Lorato & Sweet PaTony....Rusty is mashin' into Atlanta like Col. Sherman Potter. Finished 83rd last week. I figure he can spud-der up to around fifth here. Kim & Paul....That number sex car starts 4th, but the practice times seem to be steadily droopin'. Ya say he's just savin' it for Sunday?....Viagree. MarkMarto ergo 3rd. Pam...Matt Kenseth grannied, and had to roush his seth up a provizzy for Springlanta 5 naught naught. I'm noodlin' a 23rd, and 2 laps timid. OUCH!....YOU translate it for 'em, Pam. I just sprung a lingo-ment. Sweet Paulato Parker.....Sounds like an old blues player's name, don't it? Well, guess who's singin' 'em later....Dale, Earn it the Hard way, Jr. I thinks he comin' on hom' eee-leventh. Dave....Not exactly Marlin's track, but in his See-lver Bullet Dodge, Sterling was fastest in the lastest practice. Thinkinnessee's a 6th. Sweet PoTeddo....Steve Park had a Happier Hour than his startin' spot states. (Steve Park's startin' spot states....Steve states startin' spot's Park's....Sparkin' even stops a pot of steaks.) 9th in practice. 32nd at the green....Tongue-twistin' the Chubby-checkered in 12th.....Mind translatin' that'n too, Pam? Michael Waltrip made a quick cameo appearance to qualify 10th, I don't know who it's been tortoisin' around in the NAPA lapper since. Mikey like a high-Mike a hidey ho. ....Again, Pam....If you don't mind. "It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to." -Holden Caulfield (J.D. Salinger) The Catcher In The Rye |
| Cracker Barrel 500 Cogito ergo something.... |