| It's an ancient Mayan word meaning "Stock Car."
No, wait. It's that sound ya make when your mouth is full of Doritos, and your fannin' your arms at someone standin' between you and the TV: "Mumfle leethe...Nelvision...NELVISION!!!"
.....It's Buick's new Mini-van?
Actually, it's the name of my self declared-voyant gift. See, I got this inane ability to predic-...(sigh)....I've got this innate ability to predict NASCAR races. And every Sunday morn, a few of my less fortunate friends are subjected to my Miss Cleo patronizations as I e-mail 'em a coupla kilobytes of this tripe, and follow it up with a ouija-tization of where each of our favorite drivers will finish.
It's all in fun. I've gotta soapbox. I've got zestfully clean jokes. I've got omnisci-(...well, mostfully clean jokes.) I've got omniscience. I've got me some erudition. I've got a thesaurus. I've got predictions....And I've gotta fantastic recipe for crow l'orange .
By the way, for you Christopher Columbi out there who may have just stumbled across my new world, a coupla quick notes before you start:
1) Bein' a UK fan, I've gotta little SEC rivalry thing goin' with a UT grajuit on my list of NASCARmigos. And each week, with the subtlety of a two palmfuls of Hai Karate, I try to slip the sound "Tennessee" into his paragraph. (..."10 SE"...."effort & I see he qualified"..."cerveza in his cantina, si?") Of course he never finds it....He's a Vol.
2) Mollie's an AJ Foyt fan....(Swear to ya. There is one.)
3)...uh...Tony's first car was a Gremlin, Lori has a crush on me, Carl speaks French, and Pam's expecting in August.
And please. Somebody tell me how to do this. Sure, I can tie my shoes. I can freeze a tray of ice.
I can name almost half of the 53 states. But IQdn't be less equipped to build a website....