Curious.....Supposin' you had a secret.  Suppose something good was gonna happen, but you were afraid to say anything for fear o' jinxin' it.  Would you bite your lip?  Or bite your tongue?  Is okay to do both?...For weeks? 

Oh what the hell.  It's close enough.  I guess I can tell ya....
I'm headin' to Texas!

Our friend Paul (and I'm talkin' Paul Blank, here....Not that loser, Parker.) has glommed some media passes to this weekend's zoomfest and guess who he's invited to attend?...That's a big affirmatory, good buddy.  He asked me weeks ago.  And I've been so scared of foredoomin' this whole trip by blithering it out in one of these rants that I had to 'shut her down' for a few races.   And bite my tongue.  And my lip.  So far, so good. 

...and the stitches come out Tuesday.

So look for me.  I'll be somewhere in the crowd of 200K, but I should be easy to spot.  I'll be wearin' a Rusty shirt.....Maybe the Wallace shirt.  Or my #2 shirt, my Miller Lite shirt, or the pin-striped Team Penske henley......or maybe something Spongebobular.  I can't decide.  I can't decide!!!!!

I'm headin' to Texas!

Speeds are up "just a tad" this week.  They broke out the asphalt zambonis and resurfaced this track since the last time we were here and there ain't a pimple on her.  Not a bump.  Every corner, every straightaway; smooth as silk.  The mellow roads of Texas....'til they release the Kraken.  Yeah,  NASCAR will be crackin' the very-

I'm headin' to Texas!

...the very fabric of our time/space continuum.  Bill Elliott did a 194 to take the pole.  194 mph.  Shoot, that Geo/Prism/Fiesta/LeCar/Justy from the "Officer, You
sure I wasn't doin' 190?" spot woulda had to take a provisional here....probably.

Let's hope those cats back in Akron have put their Phi Beta Mensa team on this week's batch of tires.  Nexus Motor Speedway was hard on right fronts back when they were subsonic.  With tomorrow's full blown warp speeds, they're gonna need Leonard Nimoy vulcanizin' that rubber.  Tire temperatures are gonna reach "Kiln" and they're gonna be-

I'm headin' to Texas!

....pullin' some serious G's goin' into the corners.  I'm lookin' forward to the speed, but I'm also hopin' it's a safe race.  Here's to a very Goodyear.

Matter of fact.  I'm gonna put the hex on it right now.  I'm sayin' it's gonna be a mess.  A tangled, twisted, big-as-Texas crashapalooza.  The first set of radials to cross the finish line will be on a tow truck.  There'll be mor-

I'm headin' to Texas!

....more wall-bangers than there are Harveys in the crowd.  All of our drivers will finish 43rd, and Johnny Benson will win by default.....There.  I've said it out loud.  That's all ya hafta do....Now, jinx away!

I'm headin' to-

Hey, what's with the weather forecast?....WHO TOLD!?
Samsung/Radio Shack 500 - April 7, 2002

All My Hexes Live in Texas...
Hosted by