In NASCAR, the drivers are required to attend a pre-race meeting.  If they miss it, they forfeit their qualifyin' position and hafta start from the parking lot.  Robbie Gordon pretty much knew that.  I pretty much knew that.  Robbie missed his.  I almost missed mine....

"Good Morning, Asunta....Jessica...Nik.....Y'all have a great day.  Goodbye."

Yesterday, Robbie couldn't make it to his because he was racin' in the Indianapolis 500.  I almost missed mine because I was Rip Van Winklin' in the Posturepaedic 500.  Thankfully, I woke up in time and was able to turn my little pre-race meeting into such valuable quality time with the family before the green dropped.  And thankfully I remembered all their names.

Huge racing weekend, Groovers.  And not just for our home-grown tracks.  The ground-to-air go-karts in Europe had their biggest race of the year on Sunday too.  87 continuous hours of high speed racin'.  Indy in the morn.  Then a tape delayed Formula-1.  Then the 600 in Charlotte.  And I did 'em all.

Robbie Gordon, Shmobbie Gordon.

Granted, I was hibernatin' when I coulda been predicticatin'.  And I really shoulda tried to get some sort of note out to y'all before such a big day of racing.  Sorry.  But rest assured, I DID make a few picks.

....And of course they were all right.

Okay, well, actually the Greg Ray winning thing didn't quite work out.  He was out of the race before I could finish my Crunchberries.  Helicopter Castrol'navy won his second Indy 500 in a row with a fuel mileage run that would make a Honda jealous....Jealous enough to enter a Civic into next year's IRL series. 

Shmobbie finished 8th.

Knowin' this was gonna be a long day, I made some adjustments in between races.  I yanked off the Little-Al t-shirt, and donned a Texas Motor Speedway cap.  I re-fueled with some Doritos, switched from slippers to tennis shoes and I was back in my seat with remote in hand in under 14.2....Let's see Kenseth's crew do THAT!

As I understood it, the Formula-1 race was gonna have Grand Prix's and Monte Carlos, but I didn't see a single GM car in the bunch.   Although, I did catch sight of a French guy in a old Dodge Monaco. (....You may not find that very funny, but my elitist F-1 friends are laughing their derrieres off.....)  Of course, pickin' the winner here was easy;  Schumacher.  A Schumacher has won every single Formula-1 race this year.  The only race that Michael Schumacher didn't win, his brother, Ralf,
did.   This was easy....Schumacher.

I meant Coulthard!.....

I was still needin' an adjustment.  My leg was fallin' asleep, and that TMS cap felt a little loose.  Switched to a Rusty shirt and a Penske cap, changed back to the slippers, and cranked a round of wedge into that recliner's footrest.  Pace yourself, Jim.....Still gotta long night ahead. 

Shmobbie Gordon had wussed out on the F-1 race, but did join all our favorites in Charlotte for the day's finale.  The Coke-Cola 600.  Surely I could pick THIS one.

Paul Blank - It's been years since Markansas a win, and I'm happy for the old hillbilly.  I swore I'd stop makin' fun of Martin & his # Sex car soon as he won, and I'm a man of my wood...WORD.

Lori - Rusty has actually won this marathon before.  But that was so long ago, Ricky Rudd was just a part-time driver.  Russell hustled a 10th,

Christy has employed her years of experience and investigative skills to select a driver...Matt Kenseth.  Sounds reasonable enough.  Until you realize she got her degree in journalism from Texas....Pffft!  Probably picked him cause 17 is her lucky number.

...Yeah?  Yeah?!...Whatcha gonna do now, Christy?  Huh?.....Bring it on!

(Sorry y'all had to see that.)

Deshanna - I picked the 8 car to win this race.  I truly thought that Junior could do it.....Course I truly thought that Chevy's and Pontiacs were charging into the corner at Ste. Devote. (....Again, the F-1 crowd goes nuts.) 

Michael had a pretty quiet day and somehow snuck into the top ten.

Roy - Ryan blew his Penske motor around lap 102.  I was "in and outta the pits" with a cap change by lap 103.  A 41st for the new man at Penske.

Sue - Didn't see much of Jerry Sunday night.  Coca-qualified well but his crew let a tire get away in the pits and he stayed in the back after that.  28th for the Nadeau-well.

Spiderman - I just knew Dale would be climbin' the fences like Hello Costanza did earlier at Indy.  But Jr. stubbed a toe, lost a belt, and finished 35th.  I guess my "spidey-senses" have faded......Well, 'cept for the 'creepy' part.

Andrea - I just knew that-...Rusty wouldn't win.  He was overheatin' early and I'd written him off once I saw his teammate blow up.

Pam - Wisconsin's Kenseth was kind.  Cut a tire late and made it up.  Then cut his boss some slack at the end....Matt cut the cheese in second.

What is with you anchors and Kenseth?  It is the man?  Is it the car?........Wait; I've seen the man...Gotta be the number.

Kathy - The big brown truck had to take a provisional and DJ could only deliver a 19th.....You're right Dale.  This has got to stop.

Kim - How 'bout Mark & his Viagra team?...Sprang to the front early and stayed up there all night long.


Ted - Bobby and Martin flapped fenders early in the race and obviously, Labonte came out on short end.  Probably cost him the race.....That, or when he drove off without a wheel. The big lug manages a 14th.

Tony - At least Rusty squeezed a top ten outta this'n.  Not bad, considering his overheating problem.....And his car's too.

Mollie - C'mon.  How could we forget Compton in the Foyteen car?......Easy.

And Gordon closed out his double dippity doo-dah day with a 16th.....8th and 16th.  Not bad Shmobbie, but talk to me when ya want an even bigger challenge.  Talk to me when ya feel like takin' on MY triple.....(Okay, so I ended the night 0 for 3.)

(...I had a cramp.)

Shmim Nelson
Coca Cola 600 - May 26, 2002

Triple Dippin'...
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