2000WatkinsGlen

I'm no Roads Scholar, but for the most part I do attempt to get my fax straight. I try to get all my datum together, pour over the info, and only after cross-checking more than a hockey goalie, do I whacks rhapsodic. Then, just be for I rap this thing up, I try to proofreed it to make shore I don't say or right anything stupid or unintelligenceful.

And while some of ya'll all have tried to mach these skills, you really can't no how much effert I put into this. Each one must be a masterpeace of Mensaic perportions. I try to fill every pair of graphs with inciteful predictions and words of wiseness. I want you to feel like you'd just been threw a riddle-cluelessly large amount of NASCARnal knowledge, composted into a mere 10-20 kilobites of e-male @.com address box space.

Yet, mistakes get maid. (Mostly by Tony, but I ain't won to start another spat) Miner details slip. A miscorrect fact is not caught. Bad sin taxes gets passed. An Aaron Spelling is overlooked. And now I, myself, have been guilty of a little phallusy.

The last note I sended out to you contained a factual airer. There Tony...I said it. You said it. Boris Said it. But I think Alanis Morris said it best when she sang Thank you Indira;....ahem...."Thank you frailty. Thank you consequence. Thank you fu-tile di-gre-ssion."

......(Ya with us, Dave?......) Any weigh, dispite the shame, I must protect the intergritty of this weakly little litter. My repudiation is at stake. And so with head held hi, I'd like to make the following retractable:

     My prior prattlings included a referee fence to the 24 car's points push. And how Gordon was
     lookin' for his 3st championship. Everybody knows Robby's already won the championship
     3 times and is looking for his forth. Sorry for the incontinence.

Now. Correct me if I'm wrong....

Jeff, Stacy, Ted, Sue, John Boy, Waldo, Dharma & Greg...."Robby" looks to be King of the Road with consecutive road coarse wins dating back to the Days of Thunder. Correction: Cole Trickle was still laid up and missed that race....Jeff Gordon must've won 'em all. He was fastest in Happy Hour until the rains came. His reign ends today. 4th.

Doc & Jeff...Stewart was third quickest in happy hour, but he never shod the shower clogs, and didn't try stepping around this course on rain tires. Correction: NASCAR doesn't have rain tires. NASCAR doesn't run in the rain. Re-Correction: Yes they do. NASCAR has a set waitin' and says they'll use 'em if it starts rainin' again. Won't matter to Tony anyway. He'll be into the wall early and finish a lap down in 26th.

Kim & Paul...Mark Martin won this thing 3 times in the early 90's.   He was fastest in Happy Hour on the new rain tire. Hell, he just might win this thing and take the championship.   Correction: Please strike any mention of "win" or "championship" when talking about the 6 car. At least he DOES finish this time. 3rd.

Sue...A new ado for the stew from Sue. She do like Nadeau too. (Alright, Alright. I'm stoppin'.)....(Correction: Whew!) Nadeau's never been good on road courses.....Yeah, and neither has Jeff Gordon. Jerry's been hot and Maydeau as well as 8th. Jeff a 4th. And Stacy Compts a 35th.

Doc...Remember the summer that Geoffro won this race? Or was that the August that you spent at the camp for wayward teenagers? Correction: The Bode at the Glen happened in '96 and Doc was in his 30's already....(Oh, he still went to the camp.) Geoffrey bodes well enough with 16th.

Mollie...Mast would score more points here by just stayin' outta the car. Correction: Okay, make that less....A FEW less. A.J. should seat an unseeded Said instead. (Try sayin' that out loud....and watch your dog's ears.) Rick + #14 = 37th.

Dave....Sterling's Sears Charge Car'd be the thing to use here. He finished 2nd there and given a couple more laps and a restrictor plate, he coulda won it. I'll give him credit for a 10th here. Oh, and Dave. Had to drive through Tennessee on my vacation.....My, what a lovely state!....CORRECTION!!!

Paul Parker brings his superhero instincts and 'Spidey' senses to our little group. Correction: It's PETER Parker I'm thinkin' of. PAUL Parker is alliterate and possesses paltry powers of perception. And he's picked the 8 car. The Instigator, Jr. weaves to a 13th, but bumps Dad in the process. Grounded. No more Taz commercials.

Back to Jeff....Steve Park has finished 33rd, 18th, and 12th over the past three Bud at the Glens. He was 8th fastest in practice and he starts 18th....Let's see. Carry the 1...Divided by-....Plus 5. Correction: 6.....Wind from the NE......5 lugnuts per -....I keep comin' up with 23rd. How bout you?

Ward Burton starts 7th here. Must've finally learned to control his slice in that Cat Car and qualif-...Correction: Qualifyin' was rained out and Ward worms into the primo start on points. Leave it to Beaver's Dad to screw this up and finish 28th.

Michael Waltrip's best finish in the past few months has been his 12th at Sonoma's Sears Point essessss. (....Down Boy! Go away.) (Correction: My pets can't hear frequencies higher than a can opener.) But Michael's startin' 27th and it's a long way to Cali. He won't sibilantly bitch much, but I'll dog his silly butt over his 25th.

So where's that leave Rusty? G-Pie, do I forgo all logic and go with your gut, foolishly picking Rusty every week? Or Lori, do I bet it all on a Rusty to place 2nd, and hope I win enough gas money to join ya at the Talladega race?.......Scrounge up another ticket for me. I'm goin' with 2nd.

Oh. Correction: It's Lori who has the gut.

(Goodbye Talladega)
Jim Nelsun