2000Texas500

"Ah, breaker one-nine, this here's the Rubber Duck. You gotta copy on me, Pig Pen, c'mon?
Ah, yeah, 10-4, Pig Pen, fer shure, fer shure. By golly, it's clean & clear to Flag Town, c'mon.
Yeah, that's a big 10-4 there, Pig Pen, yeah, we definitely got the front door, good buddy.
Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got us a convoy...".

I'm not sure....But according to our own Paul Blank, the meaning of life is somewhere in that song.

Was the dark of the moon on the sixth of June in a Kenworth pullin' logs.
Cab-over Pete with a reefer on and a Jimmy haulin' hogs.
We was headin' for bear on I-one-oh bout a mile outta shakytown.
I says "Pigpen this here's the Rubber Duck and I'm about to put the hammer down."

.......Cab-over Pete with a what?....I say we start lookin' there.

I took my own little 'path of enlightenment' this past week on I-20 to Dallas. I've driven that stretch of highway more than Rubber Duck has broken squelch. Anymore, I set the cruise control and take a nap. But this time, on the "East bound and Down" leg of the trip, I found my own Nirvana (...Rock 96.1-FM) I got to see a buncha the NASCAR haulers headin' for the Texas track.

Now these aren't your average 18 wheelers, mind you. CW McCall may think his new Yosemite Sam "Back Off!!" mudflaps 'really make a statement', but he's still draggin' a big gray box. These NASCAR rigs look better than the cars they're haulin'. Like giant parrots. Day-glo green meets Norman Rockwell. I smirked at the Da Vinci on Da Side of Da Lowes' truck. And the Tide trailer used colors that Crayola doesn't even have a name for. Drifted across three lanes trying to get a good look at a couple of haulers running together down the road.....draftin'.

'Cause we got a little convoy
Rockin' through the night.
Yeah, we got a little convoy,
Ain't she a beautiful sight?
Come on and join our convoy
Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way.
We gonna roll this truckin' convoy
'Cross the U-S-A.
Convoy!

Ya may have somethin' there, Paul....

Jeff & Stacy & Ted - Saw a Gordon truck but it looked more like one of the thousands of souvenir haulers he brings to each track. Could've made better use of the DuPont logo. And a lot of wasted space near the back of the trailer. I can't give Jeff any higher than a 19th.

Dave - Sterling's hauler rocks, dude. Giant car. Giant logo. Excellent use of shading. I'd change beers, but I've tasted that Coors crap. Marlin choked tryin' to qualify, but with such a masterpiece in his corner, I'll hafta give him an 8th

Paul & Kim - Didn't see Martin's Valvoline18-wheeler. Can only imagine something with a huge "V" & that big scratchy 6 on it. Doesn't matter though. He coulda drug that Ford in on a flat-bed U-Haul. Mark gets his first win of the Milleminium....Millenimun.....2K.

O' course, there's a threat of rain this weekend. So don't count out Mark's teammate, Jeff. Though I missed the Burton Billboard, I'm sure it's been painted in some southwestern Indian theme......with a few coats of 'Raindance' car wax keepin' it shiny.
.
Molly - More driver changin' for the AJ team. Traded a Dick Trickle for a Rick Mast....(At least we're keepin' the penis theme going.) I didn't see the Foytmobile. Knowin' AJ (and continuing the theme) it's probably gotta big portrait of himself on the side. So I can't give him any better than a 26th..

Doc - You've got Dick Trickle now (.....oh, that's good....) but the 60 car still won't break the top ten till Geoffro gets back. Saw the PowerTeam Hauler and was not terribly impressed. The paint job merits no more than a 18th. 24th if there's any kinda fire.

Lori & Tony - Missed the Miller Wagon. But I remember it from Charlotte. Like a 40 foot bumper sticker. With a mural of a disgusted Rusty out of the car, lamenting into a microphone and pointin' to turn two,. Rusty really needs to do well here in Texas. That, and next week's win at Martinsville will put him right back into the points race. Give him a 4th.

No Michael Waltrip truck to critique. If it's painted anything like the car, then it probably looked like all the highway construction signs along the way. I may have missed it. No "told ya so for" Michael this week, but he'll finish a respectable 13th.

No Caterpillar 22 hauler to goo over either. But I did see an road grader parked near a highway construction sign.....or the Michael Waltrip truck. Ward Burton stays hot with a 5th.

This is Texas Motor Speedway, though. The Labonte boys both grew up a few weigh stations to the south of here. Both have great lookin' trucks. And neither has ever finished worse than 8th at this track. Jeff Gordon grew up somewhere in France. Has an ugly truckling. And has never finished higher than 30th here. Home court advantage?....Maybe. I say it's all in the hauler.

Okay Paul....Take us home.

Convoy! Ah, 10-4, Pig Pen, what's your twenty?
Convoy! OMAHA? Well, they oughta know what to do with them hogs out there fer shure. Well, mercy
Convoy! sakes, good buddy, we gonna back on outta here, so keep the bugs off your glass and the bears off your...
Convoy! tail. We'll catch you on the flip-flop. This here's the Rubber Duck on the side.
Convoy! We gone. 'Bye,'bye.