2000Richmond400

Dearest Brother Tevye,

    Big news! While visiting over here in the US, I got tickets to 'The Price is Right.' Barker dug my shirt and I won bigtime on Plinko. Also nailed the big wheel and took home both showcases. I AM A RICH MAN!!!!
    But that ain't all, dude. Part of the prize is a trip to some horse race. Then it's back to Hollywood for a trip to Disneyland and Universal Studios. Vegas for two days, including Wayne Newton...front row. Then to some car race. Then, up to New York to watch a taping of Letterman. Did ya hear me?..LETTERMAN!!!
    But I saved the best for last....Came into some insider info on both of these races. And I plan on wagerin' every Plinkin' penny. I'm in the zone, Dude!!!
    I'm forwardin' this 'eyes only' info to ya. Hock the fiddle and find an OTB. We're gonna be SO RICH!!!!

Your brother,
Bob

P.S. Your daughter married yet?

----- Original Message -----
From: nelvis
To: Tony ; Ted ; Paul ; Mollie ; Lori ; Kim ; Jeff & Stacy ; Dave ; Doc
Sent: Saturday, May 6, 2000 8:30 AM
Subject: If I were a Richmond...

"And DOWN the stretch they come!!!"......The hair on the back of Doc's neck just sprang up like Alfalfa.

BIG racin' day this weekend. The re-fined meet the e-quined today at the 748th Kentucky Derby. And, later tonight, NASCAR puts on a 2400 furlong race at Richmond.   The planets are aligned, my friends....

You've read my stuff on NASCAR, so you've not missed my skills there. Well, turns out, I'm just as good at pickin' the ponies.....How many of ya knew I was born in Kentu....excuse me....."borned" in Kentucky? We got it in our blood. I've been watchin' them stallions 'Run for the Mums" since the days I grew up in the same area code as Winston Churchill Downs.

Winston Churchill........Winston Cup.....Churchill Downs. Oh, I'm in the zone, Dude!....(Deja vu)

Kentucky Derby predictions:
The Deputy to Win - I shot all the other ones.
Place....Captain Steve - And that rhymes with Shreve and that stands for school.
Show....Fujitsu Pegboard - $4 million for a poor filly and ya come up bronze....Pity.

Find an ATM quick. Bankers to Bookies to Chance...You'll double your money.

Now, choke down a couple of Mint Juleps, because we're gonna "let it ride".....

The Winston Cup boys roll into Richmond for the first night race of the season. And the last short track race until the end of the summer. Last chance at tradin' paint without eatin' the wall. And last chance to see Rusty on the pole till The Bud of the Frontier in the Glen on the Watkins.

And they're off!!

Sterling Marlin
Lucked into a fourth here last fall, Dave. The horseshoe tips over this year and Sterling's lucky to rein in a 20th.

Kim & Paul - Martin still can't find his old Valvoline silks. Throws a shoe and loses a lap late. Then, trots to a 17th place finish.

Geoffrey Bodine
Well Doc, he's back . The boy had one foot in the glue factory back in Daytona, but Geoffro's finally back in the saddle of the 60 car. Startin' 4th too....Lots of attention on only one Bodine. Look for lots of applause and tears during introductions. Look out for the 11 car during the race. Geoff manages a Bodinian 14th.

Tony Stewart
Jeff & Doc, the 20 car won the fall race last year, but he won't run worth a shetland here tonight.. Ponies in a 21st.

Rick Mast
Oh Mollie....Unless AJ can get a hold of Mayfield's oatbag, Rick ain't gonna make the field when he tries to requalify this afternoon. But I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and he'll whip out a 33rd.

Jeff Gordon
Gordon has 1 win and 10 top 10's here. Ted & Stacy & Jeff, ya ever thought about puttin' him out to stud? Well, after his 15th place finish today, ya might wanna put him out to pasture.

Steve Park
Who's your trainer, Jeff? This 3 year old has found his legs in 2000. Starts outside Rusty and gallops ups front all day. 8th at the line.

Ward Burton
Home state advantage for the Virginian. Needin' Wilbur to interpret when Ward comes home 9th

Michaell Waltrip
Mikey smacked the wall in qualifying and will most likely start from somewhere in the high 60's. He'll go to the whip early and get to within a few furlongs, but end up 26th.

Rusty Wallace
Lori & Tony...It's been Affirmed. Rusty by 3 lengths. Just gotta keep him from jumpin' up & down on his roof.

So there ya are....Straight from my mouth.
Mr. Ed