2000LasVegas400

"I had $10 on pump two, this Big Gulp coffee, and gimme 5 quick picks for the Powerball......"

I play the lottery twice a year...When it hits triple digits and when I get my tax refund. This time I landed on "GO." Both hit at the same time. C'mon...How else ya think I could afford FIVE picks?

Didn't hit a single number....Only thing I matched was the date. Capped my little bingo marker and reviewed my get rich quick options: Let's see. Hard work and generous 401K contributions......Okay seriously, There's that Regis show or the No Bull 5 Million dollar thing that NASCAR seems to wanna give out every couple of weeks. Some fan just won back in Daytona and here we are at Las Vagueness with yet another armored truck.

You know, they oughta combine that. Make the fan answer a few questions before he or she heads to the Ferrari dealership. And make 'em progressively harder, just like on the show. Hell, get Regis himself to do it....

     For $100
     In which direction do the stock cars go?
     a) forward          c) backward
     b) up                  d) East

     For $200
     What state is home to the Las Vegas Motor Speedway?
     a) Idaho             c) Nevada
     b) Sicily             d) Wayne Newton

Give 'em a chance. But as the music swells and the lighting director goes nuts, make the questions a little harder.

     For $10,000
     Who came in 14th in the Sears Kelloggs Toshiba.com 500 last year?
     a) Terry Labonte      c) Michael Waltrip
     c) Davey Allison      d) Cher

     For $20,000
     What will Goeff Bodine do for attention next year?
     a) Change his name again       c) Change his name again
     b) Change his name again       d) Die

And for the last few leadin' up to the million, make them predict the race. I mean, we gotta pick numbers in the lottery. Make the fan pick & predict a couple of stats and finishes.

     For $64,000
     How many yellow flags will wave at the Race this Sunday?
     "Well Regis, this is a big wide open track. Lotta room to pass. I'm gonna say three yellow flags.
      One for a 80 mph spin by Darrell Waltrip. One for a blown engine on the #33 car. And, of
      course, whatever Jimmy Spencer causes......."

     For $100,000
     What will be the official time of the race?
     "Well Regis, I ain't even seen any practice times, but this is gonna be a fast race with less than 10
      laps under yellow. I'm gonna have to say 2 hours and 45 minutes......"

     For $250,000
     Who will be on the pole?
     "Well Regis, I know that several cars have a good chance of-"
     "JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!!
     "Oh. Sorry Reej......Uh...the #22 Woed Buht'n.
     "IS THAT YOUR FINAL ACCENT?"
     "Yes."

     For $500,000
     Where will Michael Waltrip finish?
     "Well Regis, Michael's been to this track a few t......Sorry...9th."

     And for the $1,000,000....
     Who will be the top 5 finishers?
     "............I'd like to use a lifeline. I wanna call one of my friends. They're not real smart, but they
      ....uh...uh........Can I change to someone else?"
     "I'M SORRY BUT OUR FRIENDS WITH THE BELLSOUTH #42 HAVE ALREADY PLACED
      THE CALL..."

So, help me Obi Wan...You're my only hope. Somebody run 'em down for us - 1st to 5th.   And let's remember: The #2 on Rusty's car will be painted red this week.

Also remember that if you don't get it right, I gotta marry that millionaire guy who just lost his bride.

Jim