2000Darlington500

I took statistics....I know ya can't always go with the favorites. Common sense says that ya gotta pick two or three underdogs to win when ya got 64 teams to chose from. But just to be safe, I picked 15.......So much for common sense...

I did pick Gonzilla to beat the Cardinals. Wildcat fans would rather root for Duke than to pick Louie-ville.

Picked Heddy Lamar to beat Duke ("That's Hedley") Yeah, yeah, yeah, 'No 16 seed has ever beat a 1 seed.' So what. Wildcats fans would rather root for Louie-ville than to pick Duke.

Bobby Knight and I both found out Peppercorn U. was "nothing to sneeze at." ....(It's a gift...)

Also missed Satan Hall's duck hunting trip.

I picked Valcalypso to upset Michigan St. only cause the name reminds me of Conan's girlfriend....Remember? The one that died and Arnold torched. Or was it Rocky who burned Red Sonja?.....Whatever.

Wanted DePaul to beat DeHeck outta DeJayhawks. DeNied...

And what fool wouldn't picked Central Connectthedot over IOU State....

So now I'm standing at 9 points total. That's alright. I stand to win it all once Kentucky gets through shellacking Sir-Accuse and cruising through the Mideast.

They what?!....

Just goes to show ya - No matter how much of an expert you are on college basketball, anything can happen on the Road to the Final Five.

Who needs basketball anyway. We got "Mark's Madness." Mark Martin is averaging a top 5 so far this year but has yet to win one. And "Oh my" Darlington ain't his kinda track. Gordon, Burton and Jarrett have a timeshare at this track. And Burton only gets it on rainy weeekends.

So how are all of our drivers gonna do this week? Let's just tap into Jim's NASCARnal knowledge and fill out our brackets....

Molly - You're the lead story this week. Told ya there'd be a driver change. No "Bliss" in the A.J. camp. Mike Bliss couldn't live up to his name. Let's hope Dick Trickle can......(uh, "bring bliss". Not "live up to"...Aw, the hell with it.) He'll trickle in around 14th...

Tony & Lori - Rusty starts outside Nadeau and behind Irwin....Something is gettin' bent early. Darlington ain't really his track either. He'll blame his way to a 6th.

Dave - Sterling parked it in Victory Lane here back in his Kodak days. Hope he took a lotta pics. He'll finish a lap down in 17th.

Doc - Musgrave must leave for the A.J. team soon. Hearin' that Todd Bodine may help big brother out....Them Bodine's sure know what 'family' is all about. Just ask Brett......60 car comes in 18th. As for Tony Stoogert; His bell's still ringing from the conk-cushion at 'Lanta last week. Lookin' at a 12th place.

Jeff & Stacy & Ted (& Alice) - Jeff Gordon owned this egg-shaped asphalt back a few years ago. Course that was under the Evernham Empire. Loomis can't help him here. Finishes 7th.

Kim & Paul - Mark Martin won the fall race here back when dinosaurs ruled the earth. Markasuarus Rex will do okay against the Busch leaguers, but will only manage a 4th on Sunday.

I can't venture a winning "told ya so" on Michael Waltrip this week. He's never gotten higher than 3rd at the "Lady" and Darlington is not the track to win your first one on. He'll finish 23rd.....I'm tellin' ya so.

And Ward Burton (...am I sayin' that right?) will finish in.......Wait a second. Aw hell, this is easier....

Oh My........
Clementine