Well here is my introduction. I just recently downloaded the "smash hit" by Leonard Nimoy (the guy who played Spock on Star Trek) called "The Ballad Of Bilbo Baggins", about the hobbit dude from The Hobbit and Lord Of The Rings. Along with this super cool mp3, came a quicktime music video. Well if you haven't experienced this thrill ride yet, let me say it's quite a trip. If you want, you can download it here. For those of you who don't feel like downloading any more hilariously awful crap I suggest, then you may continue with this page.
I originally planned to do an article on why this video is a terrible peice of garbage and why Leonard Nimoy is completely insane and almost butchered music in the 60's. But then I noticed something strange. In my english class, we were just taught to look below the surface of an artistic masterpiece and look for the TRUE meaning. Well I think that "The Ballad Of Bilbo Baggins" has a true meaning, and I am ready to share my findings so that the rest of the world can benefit. So, without further ado, I proudly present:
Leonard Nimoy
Lord Of The Rings Geek?
or
Closet Pimp?
At first, The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins seems like an innocent child's song, purely a fun experiment for Nimoy. But is that what he's really trying to do? Is his only sole purpose to have fun?!? HELL NO IT'S NOT! When you first watch this work of art you see Mr. Nimoy, without his Spock ears and with a black and white suit, kicking back at a hobbitish styled rock. He of course is singing the song along with the chorus singers, a group of teenaged girls. Teenaged girls. Because they are marketable to a youthful audience? WRONG. Because Nimoy is old and horny, but yet he's a genius. He obviously knows that at his age, girls just don't come up to him begging for action. But this ladies man knows the number one trick of being a celebrity: cash in on popularity.
Look at the master at work.
If he wants young teenagers dancing around him, he can and will PAY his way to achieve it. Why? Because he's desperate? NO YOU MORONS! IT'S HIS ONLY OPTION! He does it with ease, baby. As the video goes further past the first verse, this theme is apparent. All Nimoy truly wants is to finally watch young women dance around and smile at him while doing that. He has achieved that. He truly has accomplished what thousands of old men desire for every day of their lives. Face the facts, the man is a true pimp.
Nimoy watching them shake their junk.
This brings me to my next point. If you watch this video carefully with a keen eye, you'll notice Nimoy busting out some old school rap on us. There is a scene where random paraphernalia are being thrown behind Nimoy and the hobbit rock. Take a gander at this.
Check ma shit out, nigga!
Aw hell naw! Some foo just cracked my game!
AND THIS IS IN THE 60'S MIND YOU! Well, what more can I say. There you have it. My beautiful, unnecessary ode to Leonard Nimoy's genius and his mad pimpin' skills. A not so good looking man past his time of youth, yet still getting some college action. Mr. Nimoy, hats off to you.
