Has anyone watched this show called " The Saint"? no.. its not bout any SA students.. its bout this guy becoming one by accomplishing 3 miracles.. I've seen two today... and received one..

miracle one) Qianyu actually wanted to meet up earlier!!

miracle two) Yongling wore a skirt~~

miracle three) Paul called me back after I cried and spoke to me for half an hour (costs him 100 over bucks)

does that make me a saint? heh...

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Lihling surprised me at home today.. dropped by coz she had to settle some VISA stuff... ok.. so she's going to India.. had hopes bout visiting her in China... but then looks like its back to square one.. hm.. she's going for what she likes.. so I'm happy for her..

No worries gal~ I'll always be here for you.. =) said all I've wanted to say in the so many mails and letters.. will support you no matter where you go~ =)

can never get tired hanging out with you.. haha.. our intelligence downgrade to the minimum.. even if we don't speak.. I feel nice.. =) doing nothing is fun... haha.. sounds funny?

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traveled down to town together.. both went to do our stuff..

met up with Qian.. was getting excited bout meeting her coz I haven't seen her for like months?!?!?! hung around town... looked around for bags.. ten traveled down to city hall .. had some yummy soup there.. just sat down and talked.. crapped.. most of the time was telling her bout Japan and cute guys.. heh.. then to Bugis~ finally bought her bag.. and then it was time for us to meet Chuan, Pui and Yong~ ooo.. they all looked so nice.. in black~ I think people who wear black look nice in photographs.. heh.. I can't exactly figure out why.. so yeah .. walked from Raffles to Far east square for our Ramen.. =)

ambitious Me Chuan and Qian decided to go for the super hot ramen (4 chilli) BIG MISTAKE~ coz I could barely eat it.. exchanged with Yong.. let me tell you all.. Chuan is the winner of all.. she finished the soup~ (almost) Yong second.. Qian third.. Me and Pui were still far away from their standard.. was tearing while eating.. gee.. its hot!! could taste nothing but chilli.. but the food there is good~ =)

can never remember good restaurants.. but good thing they can~

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Qian left earlier (whats new?) not before we took lots of pictures~

so 4 of us walked around taking more pictures before proceeding home.. =) nice day~ nice.. just hanging out..

imperfects here and there... but it was ok..

wore the pair of earrings brother bought.. ooo.. ears are in pain (and swollen) due to the clip ons.. feet are in pain due to high heels.. women.. ladies.. gals.. willing to die for beauty.. ha.. I'm but one of the noble spirits.. heh.. =p

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came home around 1030.. daddy didn't really nag me.. hm... nice..

I can never get over how cute Clark Kent is.. oh gosh.. finally managed to catch this episode.. missed friends.. though was very tempted to take cab home to catch that... argh.. but still~ oh gosh. Tom Welling is sooo gorgeous!!! ah!!! sad episode.. but erm.. nice.. Witney didn't have to die.. did he? sigh..

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maybe I'm oversensitive.. but the imperfections of the day got to me.. (nothings perfect) it didn't hit me at first.. coz I kept thinking, its just me.. but... who would call every hour just to check up on that person? even if he knows very well that I'm with her? perhaps that very fact sorta freaked him out.. too afraid that I might brain wash her? hey.. you can't do the same thing twice.. she's already been done so by you.. felt very pissed off.. coz I thought at least she could do something bout it.. but neh.. I was once again invisible.. it still hurts.. even though I thought it wouldn't.. neh.. I still face disappointments.. =( worse.. he hasn't improve... I'm speechless... I don't want to give a damn.. really... and today.. I've really for the second time in my life.. experience meaninglessness in a relationship.. a friendship to say the least.. you told us 10.. but you left well early before that... did you have to? or were you just dying to get away? or maybe, he can't stand you being with us.. coz he's just too coward.. too chicken.. too insecure?? whenever I see him... I feel a unexplainable anger.. and all I want to do.. is to bash him up.. but no.. I won't do that.. he's not worth my strength..

got home and spoke to my brother bout it.. I told him... no.. I've really lost that connection.. I've really lost that touch.. bond broken.. its not what it was... no.. she hasn't changed.. I have.. I feel more fake around her.. I feel more tensed around her.. she's no longer my comfort zone.. as sad as it may sound.. but she's outta my life.. maybe coz my minds like a whirlpool.. anyway I just need to get this out..

brother commented "once Lihling leaves, you'll have a hard time..."

......

I see her in happiness.. but I dread the future.. coz one day when she needs me.. I might not be there for here.. I might not know.. I might not want to be there.. brother said "peng you yi chang..." yeah... peng you yi chang... friends afterall.. I know.. I just feel off... I know I will be there.. I know I will feel her pain.. I know that I won't turn my back from her when she needs me.. I'm like that.. a soft shell..

I didn't know why I cried.. I don't know.. perhaps coz my brother said 'peng you yi chang' it hit me.. why have we come to that stage? when did we reach that stage? so much so we had to use "friend afterall" ??

it sounds scary...

cried to Paul.. I just didn't know why.. I just need to cry.. was touched coz he called back.. touched coz he encouraged me.. that some things just have to be rebuilt... I'm upset because I care... But I don't want to care and I can't make myself not.. anyway.. I'm now over this.. decided not to cry too much over it.. so yeah.. I'm ok now.. especially after the phone call ...

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finally received mail from my pen-pal... =) relieved.. found out why he didn't reply.. so really.. both cheered me up a lot.

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walking did me good.. talking did me good.. receiving mail did me good.. 3 together.. healed me.. =)

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