Hey boys and girls!! Look I finally motivated my butt into writing part 4 *everyone faints in amazement* hey!!! You need to be in a certain frame of mind to write this level of gothic angst you know and after two bottles of red wine and severe koi missing all day I think I'm there and before any off you think I'm sad you try having a boyfriend the other side of the world!!! Well lets get stuck in shall we? WARNING: CONTAINS JUSTIFIED SWEARING!!

SHINIGAMI PART FOUR. memories

"Damn underworld rules!!" growled Duo cracking his knuckles and gritting his teeth trying to ignore the press of the dead all around him, their cold lifeless eyes were beginning to get to him.

"All places need rules Shinigami, a cosmic uniformity that binds all without exception, imagine the chaos there would be without them" his father had told him this once, right after he'd refused to end the life of a little girl in hospital. he just couldn't do it she'd been so happy and bright, like sunshine made flesh she should have had a chance at life. that really had been the beginning of the end for him he couldn't stand bringing an end to lives like hers, he didn't want to be death anymore he wanted to live, to feel, to save that girl he wanted to be mortal. His father hadn't agreed and did not share his appreciation for life, he viewed all humans as souls to be processed. Humanity to him were just ants beneath his feet, pitiful creatures scurrying about their pathetic lives till the day death comes to claim them, To Duo though they were so much more, all individuals, in the second before he ended their lives he saw it all, their hopes and fears, dreams and failures, joy and love.

Love...this is what had effected Duo the most, the way two souls could become entwined and linked, form a bond and feel for each other, he wanted it. There was no love amongst the immortals, lust was common but love? No that was rare and slowly but surely Duo began to crave it, burn for it till it ate up his insides became his every waking thought. To be accepted, not feared, wanted not rejected, to be loved not loathed. One day he could take it no more he took his own scythe and severed his immortal life, from that day he was able to cry, hurt, die and love from that day on he was mortal. Yes he'd felt the pain of love, death of friends and family, jealousy, guilt but he'd also felt the joy of falling in love and the comfort of friends who cared for him and he wouldn't trade it for the world he'd die fighting for it. He'd finally been happy and his father ripped it away again it wasn't fair!!!

"What happened to the rules father?!!" Duo yelled into the darkness his eyes blazing.

"You had no right father it wasn't his time!!! I would have known!! Answer me!!" no answer was given, the only sound that Duo could hear was the echo of his own voice, the faint hum of the life stream and the stifled wailing and murmuring from the mouths of the lost souls around him.

Duo quelled his building rage and took a deep breath.

"Quatre is coming back dad if not for his sake then for Trowa's, they need each other they've found real love they should have a chance to explore that" spurred on by his anger he broke into a run his feet making dull thumping sounds and kicking up the black sand on the ground. He began shoving his way through the drifting souls heading closer to the life stream his chestnut braid swinging like a pendulum as he ran emphasising the time slowly ticking away to save his friend .

As Duo drew nearer to the shimmering fluorescent river of souls a searing pain shot through his head knocking him to his knees and leaving him gasping.

"Damn it!!" He growled clutching his head and trying to focus as his vision swam in and out of darkness. He had forgotten he had the power of telepathy, the very ability that let him as Shinigami to seek out the ill and those who's time to die it was. No that wasn't true he'd used the ability enough times as a mortal to prevent Heero from self destructing or knowing when Quatre had just made pancakes. Wufei had once complained that Duo seemed to have a 6th sense for knowing when food was ready. Duo smirked though with the pain it came out more like a grimace.

"If only you knew the truth Wu-man" he sighed. Yes he'd used his telepathy but only a tiny amount and that was just a drop in the ocean compared to the volume of minds he had pressing into his skull right now. The closer he got to his father the stronger his powers became, this meant that every thought, fear and scream from the souls in the river were now crashing round poor Duo's head smashing his senses like sledge hammers.

Suddenly he felt something warm and wet trickling between his fingers, wiping his hands over his ears he looked at them expecting to see sweat. Instead he saw his life blood dripping off his finger tips onto the black parched earth below which drank it up greedily like a leech. His frail mortal body couldn't handle all these thoughts battering it and his skull was caving in under the pressure causing him to haemorrhage. Duo began to panic his face frozen in shock the colour draining from it as blood began to pour from his eyes and nose too staining his vision a hellish red and filling his senses with the smell of freshly slaughtered meat, this invoked a strange feeling of de JA vu within him.

The gundam pilot desperately racked his brain for a way to stop himself from bleeding to death or going insane as he struggled to disentangle his thoughts from those of all the other minds in his head. Think Duo think he was screaming at himself but his body was already ahead of him and he watched with a strange sense of detachment as the black fire once more wrapped itself around his body in a cool embrace. Part of his mind was yelling at him to be careful to take care as this time he hadn't even called upon the powers of death, they'd come of their own volition. But this tiny voice was quickly silenced by the sheer feeling of relief as both the pain and bleeding stopped and his vision cleared once more. Just before his mind became his own again he caught a faint whisper from the chaos of noise, a whisper of a voice that was all too familiar and like a tranquil breeze in the storm of the gundams lives.

"Trowa......i'm sorry"

"QUATRE!!! I'm coming buddy hold on!!" yelled Duo scrabbling to his feet his voice hoarse as it echoed through the cavern of the underworld.

"Please Quatre hang in there" he whispered squeezing his eyes and fists tight trying to ignore the salty tears slipping soundlessly down his cheeks. Against his will Quatre's death played out before his eyes once more. They had all been too confident that day too cocky.

Duo swung death scythe hells blade round in an arc grinning like an idiot as 6 mobile dolls quickly fell apart in front of him in a shower of sparks and molten metal.

"You'll all die no one shall escape the god of death" he crowed shooting straight up in the air to avoid a clumsy attack by the dolls before bring the scythe down on it full force cutting though the doll like butter. Duo had felt like a king that day there was nothing him and his gundam couldn't do no one could touch them.

"99 oz mobile dolls to chop down 99 oz mobile dolls" he sang at the top of his voice over the com to anyone who cared to listen while heading into the next wave this time mobile suits.

"Hey Quatre looks like we got their attention buddy they're going all out on us today huh?" Quatre's worried face appeared on the screen.

"this is beginning to feel like an ambush Duo be careful my friend don't do anything reckless we can only win this war if we stay together and don't get killed" Duo grinned at the blondes concern.

"Don't sweat it Q-man bring it on they'll all be scrap metal before the god of death by the end of the day" Quatre smiled and shook his head

"Just be careful ok" he warned

"Sure thing hey careful is my middle name!! you chop one down splice it around 98 oz mobile dolls to chop down" he continued to sing happily dismembering another 4 mobile suits, he thought he was doing pretty good till he saw Shelong's extendable arm shoot out in front of him like white lightning causing Duo to haul back on death scythes controls and making him smack his head off the back of his seat.

"Hey Wu-man watch it ya can put someone's eye out with that thing!!! Back off!!" Duo yelled at Shelongs pilot.

"kissima! Fine with me Maxwell next time i'll let you die it would make my life a lot more peaceful!!" Wufei spat over the com his glare rivalling that of Heero's and his knuckles going white with anger on the controls of his beloved Nataku.

"HUH?" duo looked to his left where Shelong's arm had gone and saw the remains of a mobile doll he hadn't noticed, one that had been about to cleave the cockpit of the death scythe in two. Duo felt his face go very hot and red.

"Hey... um Wuffie sorry man... I mean thanks......eh really thanks a lot" he stammered partly in shock at how close he'd come to death and partly at the fact Wufei had been the one to save him. Wufei's lip curled.

"Maybe if you spent less time singing and more time concentrating Maxwell you would have seen it, you're a better pilot than this so start acting like it and it's wuFEI not Wuffie!!" He barked before disappearing from the viewer and slamming into the next line of suits picking one up and using it as a weapon against the others. Duo was stunned that had kind of been a compliment from Fei!! Then he sighed Wufei was right this wasn't a game it was real he needed to focus more. He checked his screen for any oz troops near him luckily there were none but one of the gundams appeared to be surrounded, correction one of the gundams was walking right into the middle of the oz forces!! The gundam wasn't even attacking who was that stupid!?! Duo's insides twisted in a knot, Heero!!

"HEERO WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??!! GET OUT OF THERE!! ARE YOU COMPLETELY NUTS!!??" screamed Duo franticly his face ashen but Heero didn't answer.

"Damn it Heero!!" Duo growled punching the wall of the cockpit. Taking a deep breath he let the tendrils of his mind gently brush against the cold hard diamond he'd come to know as the mind of Heero Yui. He carefully wormed his way into Heero's thoughts ignoring the usual collection of dark images and nightmares that were always present in Japanese boys mind.

"what are you planning this time you suicidal baka?" he muttered pushing his bangs out of his eyes and concentrating harder, his brow knitted beads of sweat began to form on his fore head. Heero's thoughts were always hard to read because he kept his emotions so closed off his mind was as disciplined as his body but finally Duo found his goal and his eyes went wide with shock as he read the boys mind.

"Too many.....sacrifices must be made......stop oz at all costs.....ninmu ryookai"

Duo hauled savagely on the controls of his gundam spinning it round so fast he nearly knocked it over, his mind going nuts.

"jeez Heero do you have to try and kill yourself every mission??!!" he snarled ploughing his way though the dolls towards Heero hacking with his scythe sending mobile suit parts flying like metal confetti and ignoring the repeated attacks being slammed into death scythe making it rock violently.

He broke through the line and saw wing zero stood motionless in front him it's weapons pointed at the ground as if in stasis and not on a battle field he could feel Heero about ready to push the self detonate button and tried yelling over the com again but it had no effect on his friend. Out of ideas he body slammed wing zero with his gundam slamming it hard into the earth and pinning it under death scythes extra weight.

"Got your attention yet Heero?" he yelled at the struggling gundam below finally Heero's cold scowling face appeared on the screen.

"Baka what do you think you're doing?!!!" snarled the Japanese boy continuing to glare from underneath his dark brown bangs at duo.

"Hai duo no baka, that's why i'm stopping you from acting out forth of July with your gundam buddy." panted duo smirking as he received another death glare from Heero. Heero tried to get up again but duo kept anticipating his moves and kept wing firmly pinned.

"Destroy oz at all costs those were the orders" replied Heero, his voice cold and flat, completely devoid of emotion.

"He-cha....Heero one mission is not worth your life ok? Come on buddy we'll blow these guys up another day whada ya say?" getting no reply he grinned.

"Fine then if you're going out with a bang take me too, i'll keep you company on your journey to hell I hear it's nice and warm this time of year" Heero looked up sharply

"there is no point in us both dying baka you....you shouldn't have to die duo" for a second duo could have sworn he saw a spark of concern in the normally cold cobalt eyes of the perfect soldier but it went as quickly as it came. Duo started to say something but was cut short by Heero yelling

"Duo! Quatre!!" duo turned to look for sandrock and that's when it happened, all of it playing out in sickening slow motion.

Painfully slowly Quatre seemed to swing sandrock's twin scimitars up and into the mobile dolls in front of him cleaving them in two. Time moved like treacle as the screeching sound of metal on metal filled the air like a dying scream and the dolls slowly parted and fell as twisted wrecks on the ground their dying sparks casting a golden glow over sandrock. Quatre didn't even see the mobile suit behind him about to fire straight into his back but someone as ever was there to protect him.

"Quatre look out!!" Trowa yelled over the com his eyes for once wide with fear, he desperately punched heavy arms controls and let loose everything the gundam had to try and save his angel. as heavy arms assault headed for the suit duo shook his head trying to scream "no" but the words got caught in his throat he could see what was going to happen. At the sound of Trowa's voice Quatre turned to his koi sadly at this moment the mobile suit behind sandrock took off. Trowa's missile meant to save Quatre punched right through sandrock and out the other side. On the screen all four pilots saw Quatre's sapphire eyes go wide with shock as he gasped.

"T...t...trowa" a single tear slid from the corner of his eye before they closed and Quatre's head fell back against the seat his hair fanning round his head like a halo. The missile had gone right through the cockpit. Trowa's hoarse screams echoed over the com mixing with the sound of sandrock's swords crashing to the ground. Duo turned his head away from the screen unable to meet Trowa's gaze. For a second it looked like sand rock was ok then it swayed, dropped to its knees before slamming into the ground imbedding itself into the earth like a grave.

"QUATRE NO!!!" screamed Trowa desperately fumbling to free himself from the harness of heavy arms.

"Shimatta Quatre answer!!" Heero growled trying to pull up the visual on sandrock's cockpit again but most of the systems had been ripped out by the explosion.

"Kissima winner, damn it more dolls" Wufei quickly turned to meet the new threat where they met a quick end.

"q-man say something" whispered duo "you can't be dead, I....I didn't feel it" Trowa vaulted from heavy arms and hit the ground running his feet skidding in the mud and oil on the ground, his breath coming in sporadic bursts as he hammed across the ground towards the wreck of his fallen koi's gundam.

"QUATRE!!! QUATRE!!!" he screamed still running and ignoring the fire he was still under from oz, duo leapt off Heero and began covering the taller pilot with the help of the Japanese boy.

"you bastards will pay" snarled Heero ramming the first suit near him and ripping it apart in his rage before using his beam cannon and melting a whole battalion trying to find somewhere to pour the anger that was bubbling in his chest. Trowa was nearly at the hatch to Quatre's gundam when Wufei rugby tackled him knocking him into the ground burying him face first into the mud leaving the boy gasping for air

"Wu what the hell are you doing?!!" snapped duo protecting the two pilots on the ground.

"Use your eyes Maxwell it's going to blow!!" Fei snapped back twisting Trowa's arms behind his back to try and restrain the frantic pilot who was just sobbing Quatre's name over and over into the dirt and repeatedly trying to get up

"It's WHAT!!!" duo yelled looking at sandrock which was bathed in an eerie white light; somehow the missile had shorted out the systems putting them into self destruct mode.

"SHIT TROWA GET OUT OF THERE MOVES IT!!" Duo screamed jumping from death scythe and racing towards Wufei to help drag the kicking and screaming Trowa away.

"No I have to help quatre get off me!! He needs help Quatre i'm coming" sobbed Trowa tears streaming unchecked down his face. Duo felt sick and balled his fists he knew he'd be just the same as Trowa if it were Heero; he'd want to be by his side regardless of the risk. But there was nothing Trowa could do to for Quatre now. Trowa continued to sob into the ground his tears soaking into the earth as Heero threw wing zero over the pilots to protect them from the blast. They all felt the force of the explosion and the hot wind of the after math blow over them but this seemed trivial compared to the empty sick feeling they all felt in the pit of their stomachs as Trowa began searching the wreckage for Quatre still convinced that if he could just get to him he'd be ok. He found him, his small body laying awkwardly over the remains of sandrock's hand almost cradled in his gundams fingers, his hair was shot through with red streaks and his clothes virtually gone,. Trowa pushed the hair from Quatre's head and kissed his fore head before picking him up in his arms and carrying him to an open piece of ground and laying him down.

"Breathe Quatre come on you're alive I know it" murmured Trowa desperately trying c.p.r

"Breathe damn you please for the love of god breathe!!" Trowa whispered still trying to revive the dead boy but it was useless Quatre had been dead before sandrock had even hit the ground and the others knew this finally wufei put his hand on Trowa's shoulder

"Bart........Trowa he's gone my friend" Trowa broke down in earnest cradling Quatre's body to him and sobbing

"You can't go I need you" he whispered "i...i love you"

duo felt the tears on his cheeks again "we all need you Quatre" he whispered his thought returning to his surroundings once more, his mind was made up if he had to become shinigami once more to bring back the angel it was a small price to pay.

"No mortals boy, get your filth from this place" hissed a voice like wind through a tomb. Duo looked up at a shrouded figure completely hidden by dirty torn black cloth one knarld grey bony hand was the only visible feature and this was wrapped round a moldy black oar in a death grip. He was stood on an ancient wooden boat black as coal and covered in horrific carvings that would have felt at home in Dantes inferno, the boat rocked gently on the river of souls that was casting a fait blue light over craft and boat man.

"I said get out" rasped the voice glaring from beneath its hood with a crazed red eye. Duo glared back and walked up to the boat getting in it and ignoring the stench of decomposition emanating from its owner.

"what do you think you're doing i'll throw you to the lost ones" the boat man gasped pointing at the moaning spirits in the river with one bony finger and grasping duo round the throat with his other rotting hand the grey translucent skin hanging from the bone in strips. Duo grinned showing his fangs and letting his eyes flash black for an instant "Chiron don't you recognise me?" he asked innocently throwing his head back and laughing. The walking corpse dropped him instantly backing up to the far side of the boat and rasing his hand to where his mouth would be

"M...mm...Mmaster Shinigami!!" he threw himself to the floor of the boat keeping his eyes fixed on the ground.

"P.p.pplease forgives me I had no idea you had returned" the pathetic creature whimpered, duo put his foot on its back and pushed him lower.

"That's right death is back and I want to see my father NOW is that understood?" he then let him get back up. Chiron nodded his head dumbly and cast off, duo sighed ah hee-chan if only you could see me now you wouldn't recognise me he thought sadly as the boat lurched forward into the river leaving the cries of the damned behind. Duo turned and looked to far shore where the gates of Hades stood beyond there was Quatre, beyond there was his father, beyond there was hell and that was where he was headed, right into the jaws of hell.

elspeth chang wythces cavern http://www.kjkemp.co.uk