Toilet Paper Dude....AKA Hoppy
By: Neko-chan
Disclaimer: Don't own ANYTHING in this fic.....well, actually I do! I own myself!! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!..........Okie, I'm done now. *sweatdrops* Eh......I KNOW that I wasn't the person who decided to make Hoppy an new member of Rinibean.......but that's how it worked out in my story. So.......I take no credit for the idea, too!

BlueMew patiently tapped a finger against her lips, staring down at the papers before her. "Ya know," she sighed, "Cabana Boy Takado is really losing his touch. I mean, I asked for these papers to be in ALPHABETICAL ORDER, DAMN IT!!! And look here," she said, glaring over at Mateo and pointing to several pieces of paper, "O does NOT come after P and A is waaaaay before Z, not after Z and F."

"Oui, Madame," Mateo commented, flicking his cigarette and paging through his Taichi photo album. He smiled fondly when he came upon a series of pictures of Taichi posing in a speedo. Ah, yes. He remembered that particular night well. BlueMew had gone out of town and Mateo had taken advantage of her empty bedroom. Not that he would ever tell Madame, of course.
Sliding up behind Mateo, Nick tapped him on the shoulder and looked at the photo album. "Is that your bitch?" Nick asked, raising an eyebrow. He smirked when Mateo frowned at him.

"You are dead to me........you do not need to know," Mateo sniffed and went back to his Taichi drooling. Nick rolled his eyes and sauntered over to BlueMew. "Hey doll," he commented, sitting down next to her. "What's up?"
BlueMew sighed and plopped her head in her hands, rubbing her temples gently. "CB Takado," was her reply. Nick winced in sympathy and patted her on the back.

"C'mon, doll.....he can't be THAT bad." BlueMew abruptly sat up and glared at her favorite Backstreet Boy member. "'That bad'?! Nooooooo.........he's worse!!!" To show Nick how serious this problem was, she brought out her coffee from that morning. "Do you have any idea what this is????!!!"

Nick leaned forward and stared into the cup. He blinked and looked thoughtful. "............coffee?" he asked, poking the liquid to make sure that it wasn't putrid red Mountain Dew or anything like that. Hey.....with CB Takado, you never know!!

Mateo leaned over his photo album, shielding several particular photos from Nick. He sniffed the coffee delicately, then made a face. "It's decaf," he answered. "And......American French roast........when will you Yankees ever learn that you cannot make French coffee? Leave it to the experts....."

BlueMew's eyes glazed over as she stared at the cup. "Coffee......need my coffee......" She was in a zombie-like trance for several minutes.........until she stood up and......... "THAT'S IT!!!! I'VE GOT IT!!!!"

Mateo and Nick, who were both used to their trainer's erratic mood swings, just blinked up at her. "What's it, Madame?" Mateo asked warily.

PsychoBitch then decided to show her face. "BlueMew........have you been at the Nyquil again?" she asked, frowning in concern. "'Cause if you have........you know what that means....."

BlueMew glared at her friend. "NO, I have NOT been at the Nyquil again. And besides.......you wouldn't DARE lock up the medicine cabinet. After all........your Pepto Bismol is in there too."

PsychoBitch stuck her tongue out at BlueMew and returned to what she had been doing in the other room. BlueMew was about to explain what her great and wonderful idea to her Bishonen when Izzy came running out of PsychoBitch's room, wearing a dog collar and leash. BlueMew blinked and shrugged. It was a common occurrence. She was right; several seconds later, PsychoBitch came running after Izzy, screaming at the top of her lungs: "Get your ass back here!!!!! I STILL don't understand Microbiology, Advanced Computer Programming, and Physics!!!!!!!!! IZZY!!!!!! GET BACK HERE!!!!"

Once PsychoBitch was back in her room with Izzy, BlueMew continued her thought: "Well.....since Cabana Boy Takado has been shirking his chores and duties.....I say that we get him an assistant. How does that sound, guys?"

Mateo looked thoughtful and flicked his cigarette once again. "Oui......it sounds like an excellent idea, Madame. But where would we find someone to become Cabana Boy's bi-.......I mean, assistant?"

BlueMew frowned in thought, tapping her foot against the floor. "Who, indeed?" she mused aloud. Suddenly, her eyes lit up and she grinned brightly. "I know!! Who's the weirdest person you can think of?"

Automatically, Mateo began: "You, Madame; PsychoBitch, Nick, Cabana Boy Takado....."

BlueMew glared at him and crossed her arms over her chest. "No, baka!! Think along the line of.........cat."

Nick walked behind BlueMew and started to snuggle with her. BlueMew's eyes glazed over once again, wondering if there was any more room on her site for shirtless Nick photos. "Neko-chan?" Nick guessed as he began to make circles on BlueMew's arm with his index finger.

Mateo glared and smacked Nick's wrist. Nick stepped back and rubbed his injured organ, glaring back at Mateo. "Oui," Mateo began. "He-Who-Is-Dead-To-Me is correct. Neko-chan probably IS one of the weirdest people we know."

Nick suddenly grinned and gave Mateo an evil look. "Yeah......and remember 'Daddy'?" Mateo paled and suddenly backed away.

Ignoring her fighting Bishonen, BlueMew grinned and shouted, "NEKO-CHAN!!!!" Suddenly, a girl with black cat ears and tail, long red-orange hair, and gray eyes popped out of hammer space.

"BlueMew.......do ya have to be so LOUD?!" Neko-chan asked, rubbing an ear. "And this better be good......you called me in the middle of the Fushigi Yugi episode where Tasuki finally shows up."

BlueMew rolled her eyes. "You've seen that episode hundreds of times!!"

"..........so?"

"Anyways, this is more important. I need to find an assistant for Cabana Boy Takado. Do you have anyone good in mind?"

Tapping her lips in contemplation, Neko-chan caused a portal to hammer space to open. Sticking half of her body into the hole, she began to throw things over her shoulder. "Hmmm.....let's see, let's see........Tasuki.......na......want him for myself.....Sano......nope, he's my mascot.......Yuugioh.....maybe, but I don't think Takado would like him........Howard from Gundam Wing..........eewwww.......how did HE get in there???............Master Roshi from Dragon Ball Z........YUCK!!........damn it, this is the LAST freakin' time Duet is gonna catch Bishies for me!!........let's see what else.....Vegeta.......nope, he'd blow up Takado........OH!!!! I KNOW!!!" Neko-chan unstuck her body from the hammer space portal and grinned in triumph at BlueMew. In her hand there was a black and orange Bishie ball. "This is the PERFECT Bishie assistant for CB Takado!!"

"Who is it?" BlueMew asked as she took the ball from Neko-chan. She examined it closely, but couldn't see anything strange or different about it, besides the fact that it was black and orange.

"Hmmm......well, before I tell you, I have to fulfill a promise that I made." Reaching for one of the Bishie balls she kept on her waist, Neko-chan threw it into the air and out popped......Kojimato. "There ya go, Kojimato-chan!"

Looking around himself, Kojimato spotted his 'daddy.' He grinned widely and ran towards Mateo, glomping him firmly. "DADDY!" he shrieked. Mateo paled and tried to pry Kojimato off of him.......but to no avail........Kojimato clung to him too tightly.

"Anyways........here's the Bishie that I think would work well with Takado. His name is Toilet Paper Dude." Suddenly, the Bishie ball popped open.......and a mummy stared at the group. Once he was over his surprise, he glared at Neko-chan. "I have a NAME, you know," he said crossly.

Neko-chan shrugged and grinned at BlueMew. "I know....it's Toilet Paper Dude."

Toilet Paper Dude.....I mean, Hoppy........silently fumed and glared at his ex-trainer. "You KNOW that my name is Imotep, Neko-chan," he finally said, crossing his arms over his toilet paper covered chest.  "NOT Hoppy, or Toilet Paper Dude."

"It was ONCE Imotep.....but it's now Toilet Paper Dude.  And I refuse to call you Hoppy.  That's Sano's job," Neko-chan replied stubbornly, her black tail twitching in annoyance. "Anyways.....I gotta go! More Tasuki goodness is awaiting!  Ja ne, BlueMew!!" and she disappeared into yet another portal.

BlueMew grinned and said: "Three.......two......one......." At one, Neko-chan reappeared. Or, at least her head reappeared. "Oi, Kojimato, get your butt in gear!! I'm goin'!"

Giving his 'daddy' one last glomp, Kojimato picked up his Blade of Friendship and ran over to the portal. And then both trainer and Bishie disappeared. Once they were gone, Mateo heaved a huge sigh of relief. Muttering something in French, he wandered over to BlueMew and Toilet Paper Dude........er, I mean Hoppy.

BlueMew, Mateo, and Nick (who wasn't really paying attention because he was ogling Mateo's photo album---he had just discovered the speedo pictures of Taichi---and drooling over Tai's nice, studly, but not well-muscled, body) stared at Hoppy blankly. Then: "TAKADO!!!!" BlueMew yelled.

Takado came running in, a huge pink apron covering his body, a handkerchief covering his hair, and a HUGE mop in one hand. "You called, Miss BlueMew?" he panted, gasping for breath. He had been up since three a.m, trying to complete all of his chores. He still wasn't done.

"Well........I think that I may have found you an assistant!" BlueMew exclaimed happily. "What do you think of Hoppy?"
Hoppy........also known as Toilet Paper Dude.......gave BlueMew a dark look. "It's Imotep....." he muttered under his breath.  Then he returned his attention to Takado.

Hoppy and Takado stared at each other for several long minutes. Finally, when BlueMew had begun to give up hope....... "BUDDY!!!" they exclaimed and hugged each other tightly, tears shining brightly in their eyes.

"Feh........Toilet Paper Dude is much too sentimental," Mateo commented, taking out yet another cigarette.
Looking at the Digimon Bishonen with fire in his eyes, Toilet Paper Dude growled, "My name is IMOTEP, not TOILET PAPER DUDE or HOPPY. Neko-chan called me those things. You do not."

Mateo spat at him. "You are dead to me."

Toilet Paper Dude.......AKA Hoppy........sweatdropped and replied, "Mateo....I AM dead."

Mateo was going to reply once again when he FINALLY noticed Nick pawing through his cherished photo album. "NICK!!!!!!" he yelled. Nick looked up, and seeing Mateo's furious expression, decided to run.......fast. Mateo growled a few choice words in French, conjured up his own Friendship Blade and started to chase Nick around the apartment.

PsychoBitch stuck her head out of her room. As Mateo and Nick ran past them, she tripped them. "SHUT UP!!!!! WE'RE TRYING TO STUDY, HERE!!!!!!!" Mateo and Nick got up and continued to run around, this time away from PsychoBitch and her many throwing knives.

BlueMew smiled down at Toilet Paper Dude.......AKA Hoppy.......and smiled. "Welcome to your new home, Hoppy!" she exclaimed excitedly. Heh heh heh.....now I actually have a target to practice my shooting with.......  "Oh, AJ!!! You can start teaching me how to use your shotgun now!!!"