WARNING: Rated R, for just about everything! See the first warning. Another chapter the warning is for, this time for violence and abuse and such blah blah blah. Angst, angst everyone! We're getting our teeth into the less friendly aspects of the story now, so if you have a weak stomach for the stuff that you've been warned about, do yourself a favour and don't read. Well, you can read, but don't flame me for something I warned you about.
Author's note: I'm sorry for the recent slack in updating, I went to bed one night and when I woke up the next morning suddenly my life had turned into a cheesy day-time soap opera! Even though none of the crises really revolve around me directly, I seem to be everyone's favourite crisis centre - probably because I'm always keeping so many secrets from everyone, sore wa himitsu desu! - hence why I've been too busy to update quite as regularly as I like. I'll still be updating, don't worry, I'm not putting this fic on ice or anything, but I thought you all deserved to know.
Response to Reviewers!:
Sailor Gotland: I like to insure myself against flamers, ever since my house burned down... I am happy if you liked the chapter, more of that coming I'm sure. I wasn't there in 19th Century Japan, so I really can't tell you how fond they were of kissing back then, though I do have an inkling that somewhere in my studies I heard it was introduced by the foreigners, therefore probably would have come about just after the time period of this fic. However, I put it in there anyway, simply because I want to. Don't ruin my fun, Sailor Gotland! (Heh heh). BTW, I have read one of your fics, Sailor Moon one, I think it was 'Without you I'm.', it was good, but I read it ages ago before I got my account at FF.net so I probably reviewed it under a different name. Thank you for your review!
LadyAnime: Another new reviewer! Welcome! I also am quite fond of the Kenshin/Hiko pairing, but though there are a couple of one-shots with this pairing, I really haven't come across any with any actual length or substantial plot behind them before. I am considering maybe writing a pairing with an older Kenshin and Hiko (I fully don't know why this pairing hasn't been exploited to any level, I mean, I've read five Hiko/Kamatari fics and I would think if that were the case there ought to be dozens of Hiko/Kenshin ones). Hmm, a sequel? I'll have to think about that one... we'll see how the story progresses, I suppose it could be do-able, maybe if enough people ask for it. No, I haven't read 'You Wore the Sunset', after reading your review I tried to track it down but couldn't find it anywhere on the net (damn NC-17 regulations!) so if anyone wants to give me some more directions I'd love to check it out. Thanks very much for your support and your review!
MsJadey: Omg.... what a long review! And I thought I got long-winded. It was great, though! (Can anyone say 'psychology'?) Yes, it feels good to have such a meaningful title, though I don't know why everyone is so impressed, isn't the title SUPPOSED to always be meaningful? I mean, Dr Seuss didn't title a book 'Green Eggs and Ham' and then write about apples and oranges. On Hiko's reasoning, as you may have noticed he's not always very logical when he's drunk, and I do this on purpose because from my experience people that drunk are rarely logical, or have leaps of logic that no one else can quite follow the train of. I'm sure I'll reveal the reason Hiko drinks eventually, just like I promised I revealed Kenshin's motivations for keeping it a secret, didn't I? Though I will say I think you're getting too good and guessing how I think. Fortunately for us all you had so many possibilities..... All this psychology, it's too early in the morning for this! (Even if it is actually three in the afternoon.) A good point on the fact that people with high self-control often also have superiority complexes, though some more obvious than others. Ack, too many questions! I'll just answer them in the fic sometime, though you might be waiting a couple of chapters. Thanks for writing such a long and in-depth review, though, it was great reading, and made me think. Always love hearing from you.
Emz: Glad to hear it. Happy to see you're still reading. You always review so quickly - once almost as soon as I posted the chapter! I insist you are psychic. Thanks for the review.
Crazy Girl Person: Konnichiwaaa! Ugh, school is a pain, I'm lucky I'm still on 'holidays'. University is great that way, I mean, I used to only have about a month and a half of holidays over Summer and now it's like four months in which to write fanfiction! You have my sympathy, though, school can be a pain. Good luck on your assignments, hope you get a bit fat juicy 'A'. Well, the girl obsessed with violent Hiko (you mention him like every two reviews!) is finally given an answer. You can pat yourself on the back for picking up on the issue of change and the title - not even MsJadey picked up on that one. Why yes, I have some food, but I don't think you want to eat it, I'm a terrible cook who has now developed a stomach of iron and lost her taste buds, thus am now the only one who can eat my cooking without dying of either shock or food poisoning. Do you really want my food now? I do, however, make a good cup of coffee. (Coffee, anyone?) And I thought the keyboard thing was pretty funny, don't be beating yourself up there. Aphros might've existed in 1878 (according to eighties' anime, anyway), but somehow I think maybe they were called 'beehives gone wrong'. Or maybe that's 1978. What does this have to do with anything? Argh! Thanks for your review!
Chiruken: Your review reminded me of something I really should say in the author's note sometimes, and that's that I do often tend to write very serious issues or occurrences somewhat candidly or casually. I do this with issues in real life too, probably why everyone thinks I have skin thicker than the earth's crust. However, I would like to remind all the readers that these are still very serious issues and just because I write about them in such a manner I don't mean to offend anyone or trivialise them. Oh, wait, you liked how I handled it? Well, then, forget I said anything, and thanks for the praise! I had a good laugh about Hiko faking it, it was a cool idea, it really was, nothing against you on that! Fair enough about the apprehension of Kenshin and Hiko okama, I was a bit like that myself at first, but then I just HAD to exploit the relationship and now I'm a fan of it. Go figure. I'm immensely glad that you read it anyway, I love your reviews! Thanks again.
Wow, that was a pretty long set of reviews and responses. Thanks everyone! I hope you guys like this chapter, no flaming, constructive criticism is welcome though, and I love getting reviews (who doesn't?). So please, read and review!
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Routine
Chapter 9 - Every Strike Reflects
By Sinnatious
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Kenshin trembled invisibly where he sat, hunched against the wall, almost afraid to move. His mind raced as he thought of something, anything, he could do differently, anything that might work.... but all of it he had already tried and failed. Even from this distance, he could smell the sake on his master, sense the anger building in his ki. Lately he'd been given respite, but now he knew that respite was over once again.
Hiko towered over him - dinner had long been finished and his Shishou's nightly ritual begun. What should he do? Even when he dodged, it made little difference, it just turned on-coming blows into glancing ones. It was all he could really do. After all the efforts he went to be prepared for this sort of thing, it usually ended up the same. He honestly didn't know why he bothered sometimes.
"What do you say? This has gone on long enough! I want an explanation for this ridiculous behaviour!"
Kenshin didn't reply.
Face twisted with rage, the swordmaster picked his pupil up by his blue gi, twisted it around, and pulled him off the ground. Kenshin gasped, but maintained enough self-control to not struggle in the dangerous position he was in.
"Impudent child!" he spat. "Answer!"
"Sh-Shishou," he stuttered out, the way the fabric was twisting around his neck making it difficult to breathe. "You already know the answer to that."
"Give me a straight answer this time! Your stupid pussy-footing around makes you seem even more like a little girl!" Hiko berated sharply, throwing him against the wall. Kenshin managed to flip and land safely enough, but it wound up having himself backed into a corner again.
"I pour my heart and soul into training you and I get a wimp and fool in return!" Hiko raged on, drawing back his fist. Kenshin saw the blow coming, but even with his god-like speed couldn't dodge it completely. Hiko's fist connected again painfully with his abdomen, then he followed with another uppercut. Kenshin's head reeled with the blow, and as he thought he saw an opening in his dizziness his escape attempt simply wound him up crashing into Hiko instead.
This, of course, didn't please the drunk swordmaster at all. Muttering a string of expletives that not even Kenshin initially recognised, Hiko followed through with several more punches to his stomach, and one to his torso. Staggering back from the blows, Kenshin feebly tried to shield himself with his arms as he hit the wall again and tried to straighten his vision, another impact against his block causing him to wince. "Shishou, please stop!"
Hiko loomed over him threateningly. "Pathetic." He backhanded him across the face one last time, knocking the boy to the ground before suddenly appearing disorientated and clumsily making his way to his futon. It was over again for the night. Until next time. How much more of this abuse could he possibly take?
Kenshin sat there, breathing laboured, for some time before he dared try to move. When he did, he let out a barely audible hiss between his teeth at the pain it favoured him. His Shishou really had done him over this time. Gingerly testing himself, he concluded that whilst both of his arms would be badly bruised from blocking some of the blows, they would both be fine. His head was still reeling slightly from the backhand and uppercut, but his vision had at least sorted itself out; those blows hadn't done much more than stun him. He had been winded by one of the blows as well, but that was easy enough to recover from. As for his abdomen......
Trying to rise, Kenshin found himself staggering to his feet, doubled over in pain. He wondered briefly if maybe his Shishou had actually broken a rib this time. Removing his gi and checking himself over gingerly, already he could see the stark marks of the bruises glaring out at him. Just bruises, thank Kami-sama, though how close he was to fracturing one this time was anyone's guess.
Wheezing, the air still knocked out of his lungs, Kenshin tried to re- organise the dishevelled hut as quietly as he could, afraid that even the slightest noise might stir his master from his drunken slumber. Logically, though, he knew that after drinking nothing short of the presence of a blazing fighting ki or a thunderclap would awaken him - he had slept through Kenshin haphazardly dragging him back to the hut the night before, after all.
Finishing by setting back up a chair that his Shishou had somehow managed to knock over, he cast a critical eye over the scene, and with confidence labelled it as normal. He breathed a sigh of relief and slowly and painfully made his way to his futon, wincing even in the act of changing into his sleeping hakama.
Tenderly laying himself down to sleep, Kenshin was already dreading the next day.
So, of course, the next day came far quicker than he would have liked.
Hiko came in, yelling at him to get his lazy hide out of bed, as usual. Startled awake - not that it had been his most comfortable night's sleep - the young red-head barely bit back the groan that threatened to escape when he rolled over to get up. Desperately clamping down on his emotional control - he didn't want Hiko to sense his pain through his ki - he pulled himself out of his futon, pulled his hair into the usual topknot and somehow managed to change into his blue training gi. Reaching for his katana, he wearily slipped it through the folds of his belt, still praying uselessly to the various Kami that he might be given another day's rest from training. That, though, was something he severely doubted - nothing short of terminal illness ever let Hiko have him miss two days of sword training in a row.
Maybe it would be the river, today. For a rare occasion, he wished they would train in the river. His tiredness was suddenly unimportant. If he was slammed into the ground today, he might not have the willpower to hide his pain.
Maybe Hiko sensed his thoughts, or maybe he was just treated to another rare bout of good luck - he had so much bad luck surely some good had to come his way every now and then - because as soon as he entered the kitchen he said, "We'll be training in the stream today. Eat a large breakfast because we won't be coming back for lunch."
Win some, lose some. Mostly lose some, Kenshin admitted to himself, not even bothering to reply as he sat down carefully at the table. At least his injuries weren't quite as bad as they had been the night before. If he could make it through the day, providing he wasn't confronted with a violent Hiko again that night, he'd be able to pull it off.
It disturbed him, though. Whilst Hiko's worst episodes hadn't become that much more regular, they had become more violent. It was only going to be a matter of time until he wouldn't be able to absorb or dodge the blows without serious injury. He was amazed he hadn't even suffered any serious internal damage as it was. He wasn't so proud to not admit that in sheer strength Hiko far outshone him. That would be another interesting situation to weasel himself out of. He was lucky for now - his gi covered all of his bruises, and any marks on his face could just as easily be mistaken for a faint shadow. But his luck was far from legendary, and not even luck could help him out forever.
He swallowed breakfast down as usual, Hiko making no further comment on his uncanny silence - usually it was the older man who did little more than grunt in reply to Kenshin's effort at polite conversation. All such efforts, of course, were usually thrown out the window within a few minutes anyway.
Breakfast was completed in such a manner. Kenshin did the dishes slowly, so slowly that Hiko finally broke the silence again to comment, "Baka Deshi, maybe you should apply god-like speed to those dishes. If we wait around much longer, my hair might turn grey."
He doubted that. Hiko didn't look a day over twenty-five, and hadn't seemed to age in all the time he'd known him. All the sake probably acted like a preservative.
"Yes, Shishou," he replied patiently, but didn't bother hurrying. All the time he could cut out of what was going to be painful task of training, the better.
Hiko grunted something unintelligible to himself. His baka deshi wasn't even fun to taunt anymore. Even his pupil's rebellious teenager attitude seemed like a paltry memory - it wasn't unusual for him to get lost in thought and his own solitude, but a youth like Kenshin? It didn't take a genius to figure out that something was weighing heavily on his mind the past few weeks, maybe even stretching back to months, but it was, in his opinion, becoming critical. These moods were past being a normal healthy emotional trend for any youth.
Hiko was beginning to become conviced that something much larger than 'another teenager thing' was going on. Kenshin was hiding something from him. How, he had no idea; he could pretty much chronicle the youth's entire day from when he woke up to when he went to sleep.
They walked in silence out to the stream, Hiko first talking him through warm-up exercises, then making him run through several kata. This proceeded without too many problems, though Kenshin's jumps weren't quite as high as they usually were and he seemed to land much more carefully.
Once they started sparring, though, Hiko knew for certain that something was definitely wrong. He first noticed it in Kenshin's ki - the teen had been keeping a rigid hold on it recently, so strong at times even Hiko had trouble sensing him nearby, but every time Kenshin was knocked back he sensed spikes in what seemed like his emotional control, of what emotion he couldn't guess. Frustration was the logical conclusion, but that was a familiar one and this seemed much more physical and intense. It was difficult to tell when all he received were glimpses at best - his pupil had been practicing on controlling his own ki more than what he'd thought, and his hold on it was reaching levels he didn't expect him to attain for another couple of months. What could possibly motivate his baka deshi to keep such a hold on his ki here? Not even Hiko went to that much effort if it wasn't necessary.
"Swing more with your hips. Don't hold it too firmly - let gravity guide your sword first. Your skinny little arms alone couldn't drive a sword to cut through paper!" the swordmaster instructed him. Kenshin nodded. It was a token instruction, it came like a reflex by now. He was more interested in reading his pupil.
They continued sparring, and Hiko's suspicion became more akin to concern. Aside from the issue of the sporadic readings from his pupil's ki, he was also moving incredibly slowly - his god-like speed wasn't quite so god-like today. Even his batou-jutsu, one of the few techniques he could nearly match Hiko in, was painfully average.
Hiko was going to comment on the lack of speed, but held his tongue. Kenshin already knew that when sparring with him brute force was a waste of time, so he usually maximised his greater speed and agility to much greater extent to compensate. For these aspects to have depreciated in this manner wasn't simply unusual. There had to be a serious reason. Any fool could see he was putting in effort. Why wasn't he delivering?
He knocked Kenshin back from the next attack harder than he'd at first intended. Kenshin hit the ground with the usual dramatic impact, but it took him a moment to get up again. At first Hiko thought that maybe he'd given the boy a concussion.
"Baka Deshi! What are you waiting for, sunset? Get back up already! I'm starting to get bored," Hiko complained, resting his sword on his shoulder casually.
"H-hai, Shishou," Kenshin half-gasped out, sitting up and clutching his abdomen. The older man frowned at this. If he didn't know any better, he'd say the boy was in pain. And his ki pattern was going crazy. The eyes and facial expression didn't do anything more than twitch, though. What was going on?
Mere moments later, it was as before. Hiko shook his head to himself. Maybe he really was going senile - it had to be half-coming from his imagination. But he certainly wasn't imagining Kenshin's pathetic efforts in training.
Finally, he knew that Kenshin couldn't take anymore of it, and he wasn't sure if he could reign in his impatience much longer either. He lowered his sword, then sheathed it. "Training's over for today." It was still late afternoon, but he'd been hoping to keep training until nightfall.
The red-head tried to smile as he usually did at that statement. He had made it through without Hiko asking any questions yet, however the man certainly looked annoyed. He had not had the fortitude, however, to be able to smile convincingly that day; though he certainly tried, his greatest efforts came out as wan at best. He ached all over, and even moving caused the pain from his bruises to flare up. Training had done him no favours.
"That was a pathetic session of training," Hiko informed him casually. Kenshin hung his head to hide his expression. He knew it was coming, but at this stage couldn't care. If this was the worst his Shishou would say to him, then he was getting off incredibly light. After all, it hadn't been so many nights ago that the man had made him stay out the night practicing when there really hadn't been that much wrong with his Ryu-Shon- Sen. "If you do that again we'll go right back to scratch, and you won't be getting any slack!"
"Yes, Shishou," he replied, trying to keep his voice neutral.
"Any reason for that hopeless display out there today?" the swordmaster prodded a moment later.
This was the question he'd been forever dreading. What could he say? He kept trying to think of a good excuse, but there simply wasn't one without resorting to the truth.
So he said nothing.
After some time, when it appeared at this baka deshi wasn't going to give him any excuse, Hiko merely sighed to himself and tried to look forward to some good sake. It had been a long day.
They arrived back to the hut, Kenshin immediately moving through the automatic motions of making dinner. Hiko watched him for a moment, but then gave up. "Baka Deshi."