Sometimes it feels like it's all your fault. Nothing ever goes right when you are around. Sometimes you feel as if you just want to end it all. Like life isn't worth living if this guilt keeps on growing. If only you could make it stop. Then it would all be ok. But no, what's done is done and can never be righted. They say time heals all wounds, even the ones that were supposed to be made. Well they were wrong. Sometimes time is too slow and the wounds keep on bleeding. The wounds become too deep and then�
Chapter 1-Beginning of the Pain
Severus Snape awoke with a start. He was covered in a cold sweat. He looked at his bedside clock, 3:07 AM. He got up and went into the bathroom, turned on the faucet and splashed cold water onto his face. 'How long is this going to go on?' he thought to himself.
He'd been having these dreams since it happened, since the day she died. He relived every moment of that horrific day. "Now I know how she felt," he muttered to himself. It had been the final quidditch match between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Gryffindor had been winning when Lexi Walker abruptly ran out of the stands. Snape had sensed something was wrong and had run after her. Little did he know he was falling right into her trap. He finally caught up with her in a classroom where she attempted to kill him. That part always made his stomach twist and writhe in pain. He had moved out of the way of her killing curse just in time. Unfortunately, Lexi had not. Lexi died by way of her own spell, on June 18th, 1996, 14 years after her father. Both had died in Snape's presence.
He thought back to the cool, breezy July afternoon when he ran into Harry Potter at Lexi's grave. The two had been a couple, a match made by the stars. He had asked Harry to do something that he could not bring himself to do. It had been hard enough for him to just bring it to the gravesite. He had asked Harry to make sure no one took his gift; Lexi's wand and Harry had honored his request. Every time Snape returned to the grave, the wand was still laying against the grave with the words he written on the silk in blood, his blood.
A noise from outside the doorway brought Snape back to the present. "Dad, are you ok?" called Tiana, his 17-year-old daughter. "Yes I'm fine," Snape replied wiping his face and hands on a towel. He turned around and unlocked the door. "Did you need something?" he asked her. "No," Tiana answered him. "Well then get back to bed," Snape ordered. "G'night dad," Tiana said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Good night," her father responded.
"Sometimes I think being a father is harder than following the Dark Lord," he mumbled to himself as he got back into bed. He rolled over and fell asleep, praying he would not be plagued by his memories. Down the hall, Tiana lay awake in her bed, staring out the window at the full moon. 'Why has he been acting so weird lately?' she thought to herself. 'I know he took Lexi's death hard but he couldn't have taken it that hard.' She decided she would ask him later at breakfast. She wasn't going to let the memory of a stupid Gryffindor ruin her entire summer. 'Or the rest of my life,' she thought.
