Brother's Reply

by Saint Erythros

I.

You look like you're sleeping.

You lie there peacefully
shadow-blue eyes closed forever
in a rictus of slumber
never to open and bathe me
in your unconditional love

Your brow is pale,
smooth
unmarred;
no longer the inverted crescent
brands you as one of my
subjects
minions
servants
as my brother.

Twilight academia
sculptor of crystals
the only one who could possibly understand the risk
of travelling the Time Corridor
and of destroying the past
in order to create the new future
for the triumph of the Black Moon
and for fields of flowers.

Only you, Sapphire,
could ever cheer me;
only you, dearest brother,
were ever truly my friend.
Emerald's idiocy
the stubborn arrogance of Rubius
vanity and frippery for the Sisters Ayakashi -
all was banished when you came to me
when you turned to me
called me oniisan
and gave me your strength by the light in your eyes.

And now you are gone
fled from the world without flowers
gone ahead of me into the Dark.

How will I function without you,
without my brother
my conscience -

How will I function
when half of my shadowed soul is gone?

Serenity will ease the pain of losing you
Serenity can always cure my soul's ache
I can lose myself in the oasis of her eyes -

And it is not the same,
dearest brother,
because her eyes have no shadows;
her blue eyes are not yours.

II.

I cannot burn your body,
Sapphire;
the laws of our people demand that you are buried.
I will not give your body to the soil,
dearest brother;
I will not have the remains of the one whom I loved
the one who loved me
given to the
cold
dark
relentlessly bitter
acidic
ground of this hell-world we call home.

If we had succeeded,
dear brother,
if now I were Prince of Earth,
you would lie under mounds of roses
under fields of flowers;
your grave would bloom everlastingly
with lilies
with bougainvillea
with blossoms of jasmine
and honeysuckle -
anything that I thought might make you smile.

I cannot give you flowers.
I failed you.

Even after your death
I am failing.

Forgive me, dear brother.
Forgive me my sins
forgive me my faults
forgive me;
you had always done so before.

Even when I had hurt you
when I had flung you into a pillar
when I never had time for you
when I spoke sharply
harshly
unthinkingly cruel

You always forgave me
blue eyes wide
gifting me with the one title which means more to me
than a brace of thrones

"oniisan"
which I shall never hear again
nor deserve to.

III.

Everything is falling to pieces now.

Is it just me, or were we once winning?

Our ships, the armada
the cotillion of many-rayed warships,
coated over Earth like
sap over insects
like crystal over the Neo-Queen

There was no withstanding us;
our ships
our forces
our magic

The power of the Dark Crystal
irresistable
inexorable
the dark call of the dark crystal
insistent and fierce;
I hear it still,
the song of the shadow,
it calls to me
it sings to me
it seeps into the emptiness
left by your loss.

That song was the battle hymn
that led our brilliant forces;
the power of the dark crystal
humming along infantry's lines
pulsating through the mighty hearts
of ships' engines -

Sapphire, you were
my tactician;
you knew better than most
that Earth could not long withstand the might of Nemesis
the power of the Black Moon
the power of the White Prince
and of the Wiseman's Dark Crystal.

We struck first in North America,
razing to the ground the great white palace
of the defiant natives;
Nemesis soon claimed all the Western Hemisphere as its own.

Africa was next to fall,
the Dark Continent to the Dark Moon;
there in the wilds of the Congo
and in the deserts of the Sudan
Our soldiers and scouts found by my order
reams
streams
rivers
of flowers, gathered for the Blue Prince of Nemesis:
for you were the gardens of Africa raided,
and for your smile at receiving them
I would have destroyed the world
or saved it.

Europe fell, fell to Rubius' infantry;
not for nothing is he called Kurenaino,
man of the dark
twisted
bitter
heart.
There was a cry in Europe,
swiftly strangled,
quickly cut off,
and most of Earth was mine.

China fell so easily to outside forces
after so much internal strife;
the many-rayed warships awakened in them
no feeling of camaraderie against the common foe,
and Esmeraude's forces presented to me
Asia, on a crystal platter.

And then, dear Sapphire,
beloved brother frozen in slumber,
as the god-empress is frozen in slumber
(only you will never wake)
you were the one,
you were the one who counselled me
to hold fast to what I had;
Earth, you argued, was nearly all mine
and I need not try for the Crystal City
Tokyo of the Gemstones,
Tokyo of Serenity,
Tokyo, the city of the god-empress of the moon.

Dear brother, you never understood
the driving force of ambition
that dwells in me
that devoured Rubius
that dragged Esmeraude into the Abyss
and never extended its claws into your tender mathematician's heart.

It wasn't enough that it should be there
and it should be free;
it, as the god-empress who ruled it,
had
to
be
mine.

And for my ambition,
brother,
light of my life
solace of my childhood
my disciple
beloved
only friend,
for me you died.

IV.

I will never give up,
Sapphire;
as I kneel here by your bier
to pay my respects
as sovereign to loyal subject
(I know full well that you would never betray me)
as elder to younger brother
as last remnant of the Black Moon Family
to you who should have outlasted me,
I reflect that a world will be your grave-price.

Shall I give up now,
when success is so close?

There is no one to whom I can give Earth,
Sapphire.

Rubius, Esmeraude, the sisters Ayakashi;
Garnet, Amethyst, Onyx, Serpentine...

The tally goes on and on, brother,
and your name,
the most precious,
strikes me to the heart.

The Earth will fall,
only friend,
beloved brother,
and the Wiseman will pay for your death
and your pain -

(come back to me, brother,
for you I would destroy the world
or save it)

- to your memory I will dedicate Earth.

And not a field of flowers will be yours,
little brother
otootochan
Nemesis no ao no oji

Not a field of flowers.

But a world of them.


�1999 Jillian Byar. All rights reserved.