dddrules

The Den of Devoted Deviants(DDD) is a group of bisexual/homosexual men and women into light sm&bd and whom are in the S.C.A. The DDD is my Scadian camp that is at PENNSIC WAR every year. We started the DDD about 7 years ago with a few goals in mind.

1. We wanted to teach people that SM BD is not a bad thing. We wanted to teach people the basis of duality and balance and in the process open their minds to the possibilites that not everything we have learned from a christian western stand point is the way things are or need to be.

2. We wanted a place where bisexuals/homosexuals could feel at home and at ease with themselves. We have learned that most people keep their passions and fantasy's locked up in a cage that they themselves don't even totally understand.

3. We wanted a clan/group/tribe of people who were disease free and uninhibited by the restrictions that the mundanian world sets for our kind. We try to give people a place where they can be accepted regardless of race, creed, color, or ethnic diversity. In the DDD we try to teach people that sex is a natural property and it should be explored and experimented with. We teach those who ask, and we share pleasures with those hedonists that are true to their own beings.

4. We wanted the oppurtunity to shead some light on the misconception that being bisexual/homosexual means you are a sinner. For pagans this duality that runs thru us is as natural as supposed straight people.We believe that every person has the right to do what they see right sexually, and we support those people who have the courage to direct change for the betterment of our kind and humanity as a whole. It is not easy being who you are, and we in the DDD understand this totally.

These are the rules we follow in mundania ( the real world of technology and corporate greed ), when we play. Anyone interested in sharing pleasures with us MUST adhere to these basic rules of conduct if they want to share pleasures with me and/or my wife, and/or our group. The rules are as follows:

1. What you want to do to my wife, I get to do to you first, then you get to do to me, then we do these things to her. So if you want to have intercourse with my wife, your arse is mine, mine is yours, and hers' is ours. ( We have had problems in the past with people saying they are bisexual and when we start playing we have found that they were after a quickie, and had no real interest in sharing pleasures with both of us ).

2. Safety and discretion need to be 110%. Condoms are a MUST for any kind of intercourse, and we follow a philosophy that "what happens in the bedchamber, stays in the bedchamber ". We have learned that being bisexual is starting to become accepted, but on a whole we are still safe when we are secret about our affairs. Condoms are a must due to the fact that not everyone is what the say or appear to be, and none of us want to die from a few hours of pleasure.

3. " ALL FOR ONE, AND ONE FOR ALL " ... meaning that we are hedonists, and as such, your pleasure and satisfaction come above and before our own fullfillment. Thus our pleasure and satisfaction should take presidence above and before your own fullfillment. This code here helps insure equality for all involved. This is a founding rule for any DDD member and has served us well in orgies and in group pleasures.

4. This is here for the freaks and fakes. We are into opening peoples minds and setting their inner child free, but we are not into every aspect of the sm bd community."..to each person their own path in life.. ".We are not into the following: no children or minors, no scat or feces, no blood or mutilation, no animals, no dead carbon based life forms, and no foot fettishes. We tend to stick to the moderate approach of SM BD (light to moderate pain). That means...nipple play, ice, hot wax, liquid latex, spankings, being tied up or handcuffed, collars, riding crops ,cat o nine tails, riding crops, paddles, shackles and anything that is not to extreme. Some of us are into the occational golden shower and other water sports, but not all of us are into that. Each person in the DDD has their own fettishes, and we try to help those people with their fantasy's when we share pleasures with them.

5. We are not into one night stands. We tend to like the long term relationship with a male or female or couple. We are looking for a friend(s) to share pleasures with about twice a month (schedules allowing). We feel that one night stands are cheap and increase a persons chance at contracting a disease. ONE NIGHT STANDS WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. If you are here for the long haul, then bi all means please inquire further. We have had many try and get into the DDD, but over the years we have become adept at picking out the fakes and one night stands. Please understand this.

6. If we are your type of people, then we ask that you send a few online pics (face and body pics) so we can all evaluate body chemistry. We like to meet interested people in a public bar of our chosing, and sit and get to know them as a person first. If we all have body chemistry and we click, then we get to know each other on a more personal level in private. If we do not click, and there is no body chemistry, then the bar leaves the oppurtunity for someone to leave and no hurt feelings. We are not for everyone, and we understand this. The public meeting also ensures safety for all parties involved. We have met a few really messed up twinks in our time,and if we would have met at our place, I am fairly confident that we would have become a statistic. This is best for all of us or it wouldn't be here as a founding rule.

   I have been in the S&M and B&D community for a few years. Before my ex-wife and I got into sm/bd we were swingers. During our 5 years as swingers, we had been hit up by more than 700 people looking for a free good time online. Out of those 700 people only 8 were legit. Please remember that swingers are not prostitutes, we do the things we do because we like to, not because it is our jobs. It is an unsafe world we live in, and as such it is often necessary to take steps to protect yourself from freak, fakes, liar's and stalkers. There are cyberstalkers who can turn into real stalkers out in the world. Always use your better judgement when meeting an online associate for the first time. We have found that our rules eliminated problems and kept us safe. One time we met an online friend and I feel confident that if we would have had this person meet us at our residence, we would have become statistics. Please use your better judgement when dealing with the online community.

    I had this one submissive, we shall call him Ronald, who was a manic depressive (BIPOLAR). I didn't find out about this until one night he trashed his apartment right before me and my ex-wife's eyes, and treatened to kill himself. Please be warned that there are alot of horny, desperate, diease ridden people out in the world needing attention any way they can get it. Take heed of your instincts, if something feels totally wrong, then move on.

    A legitimate person will usually have a webpage and all his/her profile information available. My feelings on this, is if they are true to themselves and actually have taken the time with pictures and webpages, they are sincere in their advances. People with just a handle and their sex are usually fakes. It are those exceptional people who actually take the time to create webpages that are usually ernest in what they are doing.

      Make sure you have a list of twenty good questions lined up for anyone you meet online. If they are worth your time, make sure you use it wisely. If they will not answer questions of a personal nature do not be alarmed, so keep it simple stupid....lol. If they won't answer any questions at all or if you feel your instincts kicking into over drive, make sure you politely thank the person and move on with your surfing. If a person is legit, they will answer your questions honestly and to the best of their ability. If they are a fake, these twenty questions will reveal a little bit about who the person on the other side of your connection truly is.This list of twenty questions helps to eliminate potential stalkers and the fakes that use the internet as a means of mental stimulation. It really is a dangerous world we live in, please let your brain process everything before you jump into anything that may effect your personal well being. You can take this as a friendly reminder, or you can ignore it. It is ultimately you who decides your fate.

I could go on and on on how to keep safe while dealing with people on the internet, but I think we all have a good idea on how to protect ourselves. A side note........ if you are a sub or a dom, make sure you and your partners have a code word they can say, or a red bandana they can throw down, if the situation gets more than they can bear. If you are a dom and you find that you are close to a lust rage, please put the riding crop down, unchain your toy, and walk away. The same bi polar person I talked about above had an incredible pain threshold. He could take it and take it. If you feel that you may actually hurt a person( i.e breaking bones, mutilation, suspensions thru piercing, etc.) please do not perform that activity until you step back and think about what you are doing. Remember it is a duality of PAIN vs. PLEASURE and those balances for both subs and doms needs to be established before you actually jump in and swim in this lifestyle. Always have a trust with your dom or sub, make sure you know that person very very well. If for any reason you cannot control your actions, you are the one in need of discipline and it is the dom that should be a sub to re establish in their heads the term LIMITS. Thank you for your time folks, please be safe while you travel the world. ABOVE ALL THINGS PLEASE REMEMBER THIS IS ONLY A GAME, AND MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A GRASP OF THE DUALITY OF FANTASY AND REALITY.

     I have found that special someone, my soul mate, but the following is here to give ya an idea of what I am/was into. I am into watersports, men with hairy chests and goatees, and I love red heads. I have found that red in the head, is fire in the bed, and I am really into redheads. My ex-wife and I had an open relationship near the end of our marriage, and we were polygamous. I personally feel that a monogamous marriage in a heterosexual/homosexual context is absolutely needed in good relationships, I mean after all I was in a polyamrous one with my ex wife and we all see how that turned out. I am into bare back with the right person and yes that means I will be the bottom for the right man. I am more a dominant top than I am a submissive bottom, but for the right man, I would be willing to learn how to take a good dick. I like to really work a man over and use all my empathic abilities in balance to ensure that the men I share the art of eros with (and the art of making love is a talent and skill just like painting a portrait), are totally satisfied. To tell you the truth, I am actually 100% satisfied and happy with my hubbie. I once thought I had it with my wife, but after thinking things thru I came to the realization that I loved her like a sister, and not how a husband should love his wife. It wasn't fair to either of us to keep her shackled in a sexless and truly loveless relationship.. I was missing something in my life, a broken piece of the mirror, and after I get over this moutain of divorce, I actively sought this man out. I have met guys that I am totally into sexually, but not mentally. I have had guys that I dig mentally, but not physically. I have finally found an equal, someone I trust, who trusts me, someone I respect, and whom respects me, and above all things someone completely 100% honest with themselves and everything in their life..

      I occationally like rough sex, thus I am/was into SM BD. The more ya fight, the more ya want to f@ck. When I was single, I wasn't looking for just sex............. * to be honest *, I was looking for a lover that is so special that he captures me lock, stock, and two smoking barrells. I can find sexual equals, but I had troubles finding a man that I click with on all levels, and I am so I waited for that day when I woke up next to a guy that I am one with in all areas of my life. I once thought I had that with my wife, but unfortunately/fortunately, we have started walking in different directions in our lives. Who knows where we will be in 5 years, but I know one thing, people change and grow, and people whom you once loved with that special love always remain in your heart and memories. I tell you these things because HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY.

    I hope that thru this webpage you not only broaden your perceptions of the world, but learn thru my mistakes. At some point I am going to have a daily journal, an online dairy, so people can see how and what I am. I am proud to be who and what I am, I have nothing to hide. Fore when you hide in the dark, you most certainly are not one with the light of knowledge. If any of my experiences in this life can stop another from real suffering, I would gladly share that. I know that's kind of strange coming from a person that digs being the sadist more than the masicist. I am trying to balance out the last issue in my life and that's sadist vs. masicist. Thru my leather experiences, thru my SCA fighting, I am striving to find that balance. I am so much the sadist, but even I crave pain and discomfort from time to time. In my own way when I fight and mess up, I get that pain and dicomfort that tells me I am alive and that I was to slow...lol. When I get a tattoo I get that discomfort that is a blood ritual from ancient Aztec ways, purification thur pain ritual. I got my tongue pierced, and I really would like to get my right nipple pierced, not because I dig the pain, but because I have heard that is very pleasurable after you go thru the suffering. If the ends truly do justify the means, than this may help me get my sadist/ masicist envelope under control.

    I finally found a man that stimulates me in ALL AREAS OF MY LIFE, not just in the bedroom. I was looking for that special someone, that person that occupies all my thoughts with kind whisps of trust and compassion. I was looking for my other half. That half that was caste away in the world for me to find.I finally found a man that I know is all the things I am and I got to know someone, and have faith that above all else he is true to his word, and true to himself, and true to the dream that is completeness.. Not only did I want the body, but I crave the mind even more. A person who can share pleasures, is one thing, but a person that you are so into you loose physical form, is another story all together. A person such as this does exsist for me somewhere in the tapestry of life, but alas I am getting lonely looking for that indivdual. I had a women ( my wife ) that I loved emotionally and sexually, but without that total package feeling I am was complete. What can I say we all go through phases, I am hoping this is only a phase and in the end we will be together and ok, but in today's world many changes occur. If you love them and let them go, an they come back...then they love you. No two loves are the same, love for family is different than love for a spouse or mate. I am looking for the entire package, but until that time I will trudge on in this life, growing, learning, and stimulating my mind. I pray you all do the same. Take care of yourselves out there, and live.........really live............breathe.............and occationally look with romantic eyes on a sunset. It has been far to long since Americans as a whole reflected on beauty. For beauty in all things is in the eye of the beholder. What I find as beautiful, another may not see entirely. Take a second to reflect on what you have just read. Relax and focus on yourself for one second and actually think about life. I know you can do it, I HAVE FAITH....... do you?

A warning for the masses and for amatuers

In October of 2002, my wife and I separated. When I was married, my wife and I use to swing. The following rules have been posted as a template for others who swing. I have accepted that I have a thing for men more than women, but still find the occational female I would bang silly. If you are a swinger and you are new to the scene, I have found that the following rules will save you time and frustration. Please look them over and use them for a template for your encounters. These rules served my ex wife and I well when we swung and anyone using them will find them to be acceptable.

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