Sock Tails

socks don't really have tails but we thought it was so clever *ha ha!* that we needed to put it in. Oh wait only the
wild sox have tails but they are extinct unless you wanted to put tail on your sox but that is crazy... but also berry
clever *hint hint: berry!* HAHAHA!

The Tail of Alfredo Pastaroni the Sock

Have you ever been to Los Angeles? Maybe,says you. Or maybe you say no. Or maybe you say yes. Or say...I live there. OR maybe you got drunk one night and cant remember.
OR maybe you got drunk one night and THOUGHT you were in Los Angeles.
We'll see,my alcoholic friend,in time. In time. In time. In time. In time.

The world can be so cruel to a soggy lonely sock who only wants to be a famous billionare.
Alfredo was this kind of sock. He had big dreams and a big nose. He liked reading romance novels
and playing chess. Or maybe,just maybe..............he wasn't.

"Wasn't what?" you ask. I'm not sure,my curious friend. Not sure at all.

One cold montana summer day, Alfredo was in Los Angeles. Yes he was.
He asked Ge if he could and Ge said yeah so he was. Alfredo was soon spotted by a talent searcher and paid
him $40 to "go away and not shoot". Alfredo is still waiting for that kind man to call him and be famous.

So,what do you think? Was Alfredo Pastaroni in Los Angeles? We'll never know.

The End

The Sock that Holidayed in Australia

"Perhaps not," cried a little ankle sock that was being put into a suitcase, "perhaps I won't have a buddy for this trip."
the little sock named Cleetus winced at the idea. no buddy to talk to. His master must have forgotten to put a matching sock in with him. But, out of the darkness of the suitcase, he heard a hoarse coughing. "coughcoughcough."
Cleetus asked,"Who-Who's there?!"
An old,wrinkled and soiled sock revealed himself from the darkness of the underwear pile.
"I've been here a very long,long, time little Cleetus."
"how do you know my name?!" Cleetus asked,startled.
"oh..HAHA-I know alot more about you than your name...I know that during this holiday,your master will leave you in here to rot away, without sunshine or a happened to me COUGHCOUGH. Oh, by the way, my name is Grumplestunks". "WhyWhy?! I thought I would be seeing Australia" Cleetus said.
"HehHeh-" Grumplestunks started, then the old sock keeled over and died.
"Heh" Cleetus finished it for him with a grim countenance and started thinking of a plan, to see just more than a pile of dirty clothes in Australia. But how? And why,why will he have to stay trapped through this holiday? The old sock never answered his question. He wasted too much time going "hehheh".
Then the suitcase was picked up with a jolt. "I'm going, I'll think of a plan later" and Cleetus fell asleep.

He dreamed the old sock came back and told him not to eat him in the hole for 15 years. It's a sign, he doesn't want me to cook him. Make him boil. HOT HOT HOT. He woke up with a hot sweat. How very hot it was. Yes horribly hot and humid. He must be in Australia and knew then why master probably wouldn't need him. But maybe not?
The suitcase was opened with a start. His master's friendly face looked at him happily,then a shadow dropped over his face. "No," Said master,"it is far too hot and humid for socks in Australia." He pulled out a plastic bag,from which revealed a pair of shoe-like dealies. "I'll just wear...SANDALS."
Cleetus fainted in disbelief. Not SANDALS! Only once in the history of socks and sandals had they ever been together. That was in the 80s when it was the "fashion" to wear them together. It had been a bad move by the master's kind and sandals and socks had been under strained relationships, until they became downright enemies in the mid 90s.
The suitcase was closed,and Cleetus was left in utter darkness. The master never even opened it up again to get a clean underwear. "it is hopeless," Cleetus told himself.

But then he had an idea. No...but yes, it might just work. He remembered the strange but helpful dream. The Hole. The Hole. He frantically searched for the hole in the suitcase's lining. There it was next to the toothbrush. It was small, but the old sock had been working at it with a needle, for 15 years. Cleetus took up the blunt,rusty needle and began poking at the hard lining of the quality suitcase. Too bad it was so quality. But with Cleetus in his strong shape of youth managed to poke a hole big enough for him to crawl out of. And he did. The darkness of night surrounded him. he found himself on a carpeted hotel room floor. His master's snoring boomed from a nearby bed.
"I am sorry, master-but this is what it has come to," He told the unconcious lump. He found a knife in the kitchenette. His master was certaintly living the high life while he supposedly pined away in a quality suitcase. Now, he was just above his owner. The blade flashed as it reflected the...sunlight? That's right. The birds chirped outside.
Then he saw a blueish expanse. It seemed to dance and change to shades of green and even white. What was it? He had hear his master say it a billion times. It was the..the..."O-shin" Cleetus said out loud. The master yawned, and wiggled under the covers. Under the covers? That's right,covers. It was cold. The airconditioner buzzed in a corner of the room.

" I sure need some socks" The master mumbled,half awake, not seeing Cleetus wielding a buttery coated knife.
"because today i'm going shopping,in airconditioned comfort. Unlike last time when i wore sandals to the mall. What a mistake."
Cleetus smiled at his ugly but happy master. "I've made a mistake,too" Cleetus said aloud. " I nearly murdered you!"
But the master was asleep again.
That day Cleetus was put on his master's left foot. How smelly, but he was going somewhere! But there was no sock for the right foot. Master searched in his suitcase and found old dead Grumplestunks.
"I guess I'll have to get new socks at the mall." He sighed putting on the holey Grumplestunks.
The mall was so nice and the master's kind had funny wierd accents
"How you goin' mate?" they asked master
"What kinds of socks would you like?"
Master considered this.
"Ankle socks." He said,"ones that match this sock".
Master lifted his foot up so the clerk could see Cleetus.
"Right this way" said the clerk.

And so this is the tale of the sock who holidayed in Australia. He was happy even when he left, for he had new buddies to ride along with. The old corpse of Grumplestunks bothered him,but that's okay because they put him under the underwear pile.

The End

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