Chapter 9

It was late the next morning when Hiroto finally woke. He stretched and nuzzled Shou, taking a little while to get out of bed.

Shou didn't move, just breathed softly. He was paler then normal, curled up at Hiroto's side.

After waking up some more, Hiroto gently touched Shou's cheek. "You don't look well." He commented, frowning.

Shou didn't wake up, only nuzzled the other's touch very faintly.

Hiroto watched Shou and sat up, taking his hand and holding it lightly.

Shou made a very small, soft sound as his hand was held, it lightly closing around Hiroto's.

Hiroto kissed the hand and just sat next to Shou, not wanting to move as long as Shou was so weak.

Shou slept for a long time, not really moving much. Later in the day, he finally woke, his soft eyes opening slightly.

And Hiroto was still there, holding onto Shou's hand and sitting quietly.

Shou lips curved into a soft, sweet smile, squeezing Hiroto's hand. It wasn't an extremely strong squeeze at all.

"How are you?" Hiroto asked softly, just wanting to hear Shou's voice.

"Still sleepy..." he said, his voice soft as he gazed at Hiroto. He knew his time was coming to an end. "How're you?"

"Could be better." Hiroto answered, gently caressing Shou's cheek. "Do you need anything?"

Shou smiled softly. "Some water, maybe..." he said, though he didn't want Hiroto to leave.

"I'll be back soon." Hiroto said, placing a kiss on Shou's forehead before getting up and putting on his pants.

Shou nodded, resting his eyes and placing his head back into his pillow.

Outside Shou's room, across the hall, Tora stood. He was in full garb, but he didn't actually look so good.

Hiroto left the room and paused when he spotted Tora. He moved over to the prince and coughed to get his attention. "Tora...I think you should visit Shou some. He's in my room and he seems very weak today."

Tora jumped, looking up at Hiroto and nodding slightly. He'd been waiting all morning for someone to come out and tell him how his brother was doing.
He wearily moved to Hiroto's door before he slid inside.

Hiroto quickly got the water for Shou and re-entered the room, moving to set the water on the table beside the bed.

By the time Hiroto entered, Tora was kneeling by the bed, the older man resting his head in his folded arms, while Shou was gently petting his head in a very gentle manner. In the quiet room, a soft sniff echoed throughout. Tora was losing the last part of his family.

Hiroto smiled slightly and slid his arms around Shou to gently get him into a half-sitting position so he could give him the water.

Shou accepted the water, drinking it down as he continued to comb through his older brother hair.

Hiroto set the empty cup down and watched the two, sighing to himself.

Shou looked up at Hiroto with a soft, sweet smile, finding his hand and intertwining his fingers with the other.

Hiroto smiled back and kissed Shou's hand, looking into his eyes with love.

Shou smiled softly, lightly caressing the other's cheek once Tora had left, which he did shortly after he realized Hiroto had entered. He didn’t like being seen so weak in front of anyone but Shou.

Hiroto climbed back into bed next to Shou, ignoring his own hunger and any of his needs because above all else, he needed to be with Shou.

Shou closed his eyes and moved to rest some against his lover. "I love you, Hiroto..."

"I love you too." Hiroto replied, closing his eyes.

Shou smiled. "I forgave Tora..."

Hiroto looked at Shou and smiled as well, kissing him. "I'm glad you did."

Shou smiled softly, kissing his lover's lips softly. "I needed to..."

"Mm, it will make both of you feel better." Hiroto agreed, moving his fingers through Shou's hair. "I feel bad...should I give you two more time together? I've been hogging you all to myself."

Shou shook his head slightly. "He'll come by again... He isn't really stable right now..."

Hiroto nodded and rest his head on Shou's shoulder, sighing. "I'm only ok because I still have you here."

Shou smiled softly, nuzzling his lover. "But you have friends, too..." he said softly. "I am Tora's only friend. And we're the only part of the family left. He doesn't have anyone to go to."

Hiroto nodded in understanding. He had wanted to comfort Tora before, but he was afraid of what might happen between them if he did.

Shou ran his hands through Hiroto's hair. "Will you be there for him when I'm gone?" he asked.

"I'll do my best." Hiroto promised, because he was sure he wouldn't be able to get over Shou quickly.

Shou smiled softly. "He'll need a friend." he explained a little more clearly. While he wanted them to be happy and together. It should take some time.

"I know. But I don't know how much of a friend I'll be while I'm missing you." Hiroto said, taking Shou's hand.

"You guys can comfort one another, right?" he offered with a small, soft smile. Hiroto and Tora were really his only friends, too, so he didn't seem to quite understand.

Hiroto just nodded and kissed Shou once more. "Don't worry over us, ok?"

Shou's eyes saddened some, but he nodded slightly in compliance. He couldn't help but worry about the two.

"We'll be ok." Hiroto promised. "We'll always miss you and love you, but we'll be ok." Though he wasn't sure if he was saying it only to comfort Shou or to reassure himself that he really would be ok without Shou.

Shou squeezed the other's hand weakly. "Okay..." he said with that sweet smile of his.

Hiroto smiled as well, just because Shou's smile was contagious.

Eventually someone came to the door to ask about dinner.

"Do you want dinner?" Hiroto asked, gently squeezing Shou's hand.

Shou shook his head slightly with a timid smile. "I'm not hungry, but I want you to go eat." he said softly.

Hiroto nodded and got up, throwing on a shirt. He'd only do it because Shou wanted him to. "Ok, I'll be back right after."

Shou nodded, sliding back down some more and letting sleep consume him again.

In the dining hall, Tora sat at the far end of the table, head in one hand poking at his food some. His eyes were empty lost in thought.

When Hiroto got to the dining hall, he moved down to Tora's end and sat next to him, because there was no sense leaving a big gap between them.

When Tora heard the chair move, he jerked from his thoughts. "Oh... Hello, Hiroto."

"Hello..." Hiroto greeted, smiling a little bit. "Are you ok, Tora?"

"No," he said with a small curve of his lips, running a hand through his hair. "How're you holding up?"

"The best that I can." Hiroto replied before moving a hand over to catch Tora's. "You know what I noticed about both you and Shou?"

Tora's larger hand stopped moving once Hiroto caught it. "What?" he inquired, curious as to what the other had noticed.

"No matter what, you both always manage a little smile around me." Hiroto said, lacing his fingers with Tora's.

Tora gently squeezed Hiroto's hand once their fingers were intertwined. "I guess you're right," he admitted with a very little laugh.

Hiroto smiled some as he held Tora's hand. It made him feel better to know that there would still be someone around even after Shou left him.

Tora offered a bit of a smile in return as Hiroto's meal was brought out to him.

Hiroto ate one handedly, not wanting to let go of Tora's hand.

Tora ate a little more from time to time, enjoying the warmth of the other's hand. It made him feel a bit better.

"Would you like more time with Shou?" Hiroto asked after a moment, squeezing Tora's hand.

Tora thought a moment, before looking at Hiroto and nodding. "Yeah..."

"Do you want me to stay out of the room?" Hiroto asked, since Tora had left pretty quickly before.

Tora looked uncertain about that question. Shou was the only person who had ever seem him in a total wreck. Shou was the only anyone that had ever seen him really cry. But, he knew Shou would want Hiroto there. "Actually, I'll just visit him later," he decided, watching the table cloth.

Hiroto moved from his seat and wrapped his arms around Tora. "Why does it bother you?"

Tora wasn't trying to depend on Hiroto, but found himself resting against him some. "Shou and I have always been close. We've always been there for one another. I'm not used to letting other people into that bubble." he explained softly.

"You should start letting me in before you lose Shou, don't you think?" Hiroto asked, holding Tora close.

Tora closed his eyes with a soft, helpless sigh. If only Hiroto knew how difficult that was for him. He felt the sting of tears in his eyes, but he refused to cry.

Hiroto moved back a bit and touched Tora's cheek gently, pressing a gentle kiss to each cheek. "You can trust me."

"I know." Tora replied quietly. "It's hard," he admitted with a small half smile.

"You can smile, but you don't let yourself cry. Maybe you should." Hiroto said, smoothing his fingers through Tora's hair.

Tora opened his tired, pained eyes. "That's because crying makes me feel weak," he pointed out.

"You'll never be weak in my eyes, Tora." Hiroto said, smiling some and kissing him briefly. "I'm the weak one."

"You keep telling yourself that," he muttered, though there tease written all over his words. He rest his head against Hiroto's shoulder.

Hiroto held Tora and rubbed his back. "I think I'm falling for you." He said softly.

Tora nuzzled the other slightly. "I've already fallen for you..." he said softly. A small, wet drop fell against Hiroto's shoulder.

Hiroto smiled as he felt the drop, knowing that Tora was finally letting go a little.

And Tora did, sliding one of his arms around Hiroto as the tears spilled. He trembled some, though nothing very noticeable.

"Tora..." Hiroto said, cradling the crying form against him.

Tora sniffed softly, trying to calm himself down again, but it stabbed him every time to know that his only family was going to be dead before long.

"Come on..." Hiroto pulled gently at Tora's hand as he stepped back from him.

Tora pulled his hand to his face to cover it a moment, wiping at his eyes before he moved to follow Hiroto.

Hiroto took Tora to his room and pushed him inside, wanting him to spend more time with his brother before he lost the chance.

Tora stumbled some as he was pushed. He moved over to his little brother, sitting down on the edge of the bed. He rest his hand over Shou's as his brother woke up slowly. Shou smiled softly at his brother, holding up his arm weakly, inviting Tora into a gentle embrace. Tora didn't even think about giving in as he slid down into the other's arms, hugging him gently. Shou whispered softly to the other, telling him that everything would be alright.

Hiroto watched from the door, smiling at the scene before he came over and slid in on the other side of Shou.

Shou gently rubbed his brother's back, the older man crumbling from the inside out as he sniffed and cried against the other's shoulder. Shou turned and smiled softly at his lover.

Hiroto hugged Shou and kissed his cheek before petting Tora's hair gently.

Tora turned his head some, so he could see out of one of his blurry eyes. He looked so weak and sad, but he forced a small, slight smile as he closed his eyes against the tears. Shou held both of them close to him.

Hiroto closed his eyes as well, content to have both of the people he loved most there with him. For now anyway.

It wasn't long before all three of them were asleep. A maid entered quietly to see the three, one of the older maids. She smiled and left in silence, without announcing dinner.

When Hiroto woke again, he found himself pressed against Shou's side, with his hand holding Tora's.

Tora was resting gently against Shou, his head against his brother's shoulder with stains down his cheeks and breathing softly. His fingers were laced with Hiroto's over Shou's chest as the younger brother slept with an arm around each of them.

Hiroto kissed them both on the cheek and smiled slightly. He wished for a selfish moment that he could always keep them both.

Tora groaned very softly as he slowly woke up, his red eyes opening slightly.

"Hey, Tora." Hiroto said softly, squeezing his hand lightly.

Tora squeezed Hiroto's back with a soft sigh, blinking the sleep from his eyes. "Hey, Hiroto... How'd you sleep?"

"Fine. You?" Hiroto asked, moving his hand to gently touch Tora's tear stained cheeks.

Tora closed his eyes a moment at the touch before opening them to Hiroto again. "Well enough..."

"Understandable." Hiroto smiled a bit before settling down besides Shou again. "He's still breathing, right?"

Tora nodded, his head resting right above his little brother's heart. "He's not going to make it too much longer..." he said softly, sadly.

Hiroto took Tora's hand and brought to his face as he shed a few tears, still fearing the moment when Shou would stop breathing.

Tora ran his fingers along the other's jaw before he wiped at the tears beneath his eyes. He wished there was something he could do.

"It's like he's already dead sometimes with how much he sleeps and he's not eating." Hiroto whispered. "It's so hard not to cry."

Tora nodded slightly, pulling Hiroto's hand to his lips and kissing his knuckles softly. "Then cry..."

So Hiroto cried against Shou's chest, holding onto Tora's hand desperately with each sob that rose from his throat.

Tora lightly brushed his fingers through the other's hair, hoping to calm him down some, but letting him cry his heart out.

Finally Hiroto quieted down when every tear had been cried and he couldn't force another one through. He sighed deeply, trying to regain his breath.

Tora smiled slightly. "A little better?"

"No..." Hiroto whispered, closing his eyes tightly, since they still stung. "It will never be better."

Tora sighed softly, his hand falling away from the other's cheek where it rested.

Hiroto watched Tora with his sorrow-filled eyes, wanting to be held by Tora, but he knew he shouldn't be able to have that right with Shou here. He pressed his face into Shou's neck, breathing in.

Shou sighed very softly, slowly waking up. A soft knock sounded at the door and Tora left the cozy bed to see whom it was. He spoke to them quietly before glancing at the bed and slipping out into the hall to discuss some important business on behalf of the King.

Hiroto didn't say a word and just clung to Shou, somehow feeling like he could cry again. He took deep breaths to keep himself calm.

Shou's pretty eyes fluttered open slowly. When Hiroto came into view, a sad smile touched his lips, seeing his eyes and the tear stains on his cheeks. He ran a hand through Hiroto's hair before sliding his other arm around the other and hugging him close, though it wasn't a very strong embrace.

Hiroto couldn't help it and he started crying again, his body shaking with the effort to hold his sobs back.

Shou felt a few tears fall himself as he held his lover close and tight.

Hiroto pulled back after a moment, placing his hand on Shou's chest. "It's a lung disorder." He said softly, tears still falling down his cheeks. "That's why you're getting weaker. Because you can't breathe well."

Shou smiled slightly, sadly. He wasn't going to say anything about how hard it was for him to breathe most times. "I don't care what it is..." he said softly, running his fingers through Hiroto's hair as a few tears fell down his cheeks. "I don't even want to think about it..." he admitted, more tears coming. For the first time in his whole life, his eyes held fear. It wasn't an great amount of it, but he was going to miss Hiroto so much.

"It can be fixed." Hiroto said, wiping away Shou's tears. "If it's not too late..."

Shou shook his head, holding his love close. "I don't want it to be fixed..." he whimpered softly.

"Why?" Hiroto asked in complete confusion.

"I've lived my life to the fullest I want to live it..." he said softly, sniffling. "A-and I couldn't stand to see you and Tora together... While I love you so much..." he explained.

Hiroto sighed, hanging his head. "So it's my fault that you want to die..."

Shou frowned slightly, placing his hands on either side of his lover's face and pulling up, forcing Hiroto to look him dead in the eyes. "No." he said, his trembling voice firm.

Hiroto stared back at Shou, but he didn't seem convinced. If he hadn't fallen for Tora, he could've fixed Shou and they could've been happy together.

Shou felt tears sting his eyes and he turned his gaze away from Hiroto. "You don't trust me..." he said softly, his voice soft. He'd ruined everything. I shouldn't have said anything, he told himself.

"I trust you, Shou....I just can't help but blame myself. There are so many things that I could've done differently." Hiroto whispered, holding Shou close.

Shou sniffled, breathing softly as he cried. "I don't care what you could've done better, Hiroto. I care about what you can and will do better next time," he said, kissing his neck softly and holding onto him.

"I'll try harder next time." Hiroto promised, nuzzling Shou lovingly. "I love you, Shou."

Shou nuzzled his lover softly. "I love you so much, Hiroto..." he breathed softly.

"Wait for me." Hiroto said, kissing Shou sweetly. "I'll be with you again someday."

Shou smiled softly, nodding with his hand against Hiroto's cheek. He could feel his energy depleting faster. "I'll wait forever if I have to..." he said softly.

"I'll miss you." Hiroto whispered, burying his head against Shou's chest.

Shou nuzzled his lover some, kissing his cheek softly. "But, we'll see each other again..." he promised. He couldn't feel his legs any longer. Was it time?

Hiroto nuzzled Shou's chest, over his heart. "I hope so..."

"You will," he reassured, resting back against the bed. He laced his shaky fingers with th other's.

"I'll trust you." Hiroto kissed Shou's hand, watching him settle back against the bed.

Shou sighed softly, tiredly, squeezing Hiroto's hand back. "Where's Tora?" he asked softly.

"Do you want me to get him?" Hiroto asked.

Shou nodded. "Please?" he pleaded softly. He wanted to see his brother once more.

Hiroto nodded and moved to get Tora back inside the room.

Tora was outside in the hall, talking with a very mean looking woman with a younger, frailer girl beside her. She was yelling at Tora, who took it, emotionless. Until he saw Hiroto out the corner of his eye.

"I think you should see Shou right away." Hiroto said softly, not wanting to interrupt, but it was important.

The woman started yelling at Hiroto louder in frustration as the Prince turned and raced to the door, slipping inside. He moved over to his brother's bed, sitting on the edge he'd been on all last night. "Sh-Shou?"

Hiroto ignored the woman and followed Tora to wait by Shou's door.

Tora moved off the bed and snagged Hiroto's arm, pulling him to the bed where Shou was before sitting again, due to Shou's request.

Hiroto settled on the bed and watched Shou, brushing some hair away from his face.

Shou was breathing softer now, finding Hiroto's hand and lacing his fingers with his as he had done with Tora's, smiling softly. "I'm going to miss you both so much...." he said softly.

Hiroto held Shou's hand tightly, not able to say anything. It seemed like his voice caught in his throat.

Tora felt the tears in his eyes and didn't bother holding them back as they fell down pale cheeks. "I'll miss you, too..." he said softly, his voice cracking slightly. "Little brother..."

Hiroto leaned over Shou and gave him another kiss, knowing that would display exactly how he felt.

Shou kissed his love softly in return, squeezing both of their hands. Once Hiroto pulled back, he sniffed softly. "I... I want you two to take care of one another... That's my only request..." he said softly.

"We will." Hiroto promised, knowing he'd do it for Shou and because he cared for Tora too.

Tora nodded slightly, squeezing his brother's hand. Shou smiled that sweet, beautiful smile of his, as a tear slid down each cheek. "I love you two..." he said very softly as he lost feelings in his hands.

Hiroto felt himself cry silently as he held Shou's hand to his chest.

Tora leaned down some, resting his head against his brother's chest. He could hear he beats fading and he felt his own insides crumbling. The tears fell uncontrollably, holding Shou's hand tightly in his own.

Hiroto cried harder and sunk down beside Shou, clinging to his body.

Tora's body shook as he cried hard. He didn't say anything, and he didn't sob. He just... Broke...

Hiroto wasn't much better. He just cried beside Shou's body, curling up in a little, helpless ball.

The maid came from before, opening the door, but the smile soon left her lips. The woman could be heard in the hall, still ranting and raving. "M-Master Tora?" She asked cautiously.

Tora didn't lift his head, didn't move as he cried softly. "Our King has.. has died..." he said, his voice wavering with weakness. "Send out the word..." he ordered and she ran off. The yelling in the hall stopped when the woman and her daughter saw the maid running, tears suddenly bursting down her face.

Hiroto curled up in a tighter ball at Tora's words, wishing that they weren't true. He had been expecting it, but it wasn't right. For Shou to be gone. Everything he had lived for had been for the delicate lover he had just lost.

Tora finally let go over a very soft sob, covering his face with one of his hands as his head rest against his only family's chest. There was no heat beat, there was no breathing. He was gone...

The next few weeks, Hiroto stayed in bed, crying and hiding under the covers. Even with Shou's body gone, Hiroto still kept his hand on the spot his lover once lay. He didn't eat, only drank the water that Nao pretty much forced him to drink. He lost weight, his already thin form becoming more boney.

Tora was just about as bad, but on different levels. He couldn't stay in the room, as someone had to prepare Shou's funeral and the ceremonies. He didn't laugh, didn't smile, didn't do anything. Shou was buried in a gown that he'd had Saga make for him, saving for the funeral for a few weeks later. The people grew to fear Tora again and how emotionless he was all the time in public. He never cried in front of anyone, never did anything, and he barely talked if it wasn't important. At nights, he'd lock himself in his room, and completely crumble over the stress and the sadness. He couldn't handle it. He didn't eat... He didn't sleep... If he drank anything, it was liquor and water, but never enough of one or the other.

It was nearly a month when Hiroto finally left his room for a bit of a meal. He wandered over to Tora's room after, knocking lightly. He had made the promise to take care of Tora and he was going to. He couldn't do that if he just stared into the darkness.

Tora was in his bed, covered from the waist down by his bed sheets. There were papers strewn about, as well bottles and bottles of liquor. Broken glass, from bottles or mirrors, he'd broken one of his nice chairs and it was basically a complete mess. But it had been like that for some time now, the remains of what he'd done before he'd completely crashed. He was thin, laying like a stick on the massive bed.

Hiroto pressed his ear against the door and tried the handle, which was locked. "Tora..." He said in a weak, hoarse voice.

Tora heard the faint voice at the door in the silence. He'd been listening to nothing but silence for over a week now. He pushed himself up, distantly recognizing the voice. He slid from the bed, in a pair of loose cloth pants, and wearily moved to the door. A crash could be heard as he fell, tripping over something and knocking over his table. He didn't make any sounds or anything, just pulled himself back up and stumbled to the door. A soft click sounded as he unlocked the door and pulled it open. He squinted with a soft groan as the light attacked his eyes, but the looked at Hiroto. He looked like shit.

Hiroto frowned, suddenly becoming aware of just how much Tora had been suffering. Hiroto had been so busy grieving himself, that Tora had been all alone to deal with everything. Hiroto moved forward and wrapped his arms around Tora, hugging him tightly.

Tora wasn't sure what was happening when Hiroto was suddenly there, hugging him. He let the door close behind the other, his arms wrapping back around Hiroto, more in a sense of holding the other to him, instead of letting himself be held. He'd forgotten how to let someone take care of him. He was the one that had to be strong, he kept telling himself, as he did every single day.

"This place is a mess." Hiroto mumbled into Tora's chest, before looking up into the other's eyes. He had missed this, he realized.

Tora looked down at the other, then around the room.

"Y-yeah... I guess you're right..." he muttered softly, as if looking around and seeing this for the first time.

"You need a bath too." Hiroto commented, smelling the alcohol coming off Tora. He pulled the prince's hand, taking him to the bathroom to set one up for him.

Tora stumbled slightly as he was dragged along after the smaller being. He didn't say much, still in a bit of a haze, but he followed after the other.

"Do I look that bad?" he asked, his voice was hoarse and weak.

Hiroto just looked at Tora with a raised eyebrow. "You look like shit. I'm sure I look the same." He shrugged and filled the tub, before moving back over to Tora and hooking his fingers in the loose pants Tora wore, pulling them off. It was like he was back in his days of servitude.

Tora had never been one to be ashamed of being seen naked by anyone. Ever. "You do," he pointed out. "You should take a bath, too..."

Hiroto glanced over at the tub before pulling off his clothes too, deciding that the tub was big enough for both of them, though it would be a little cramped.

Tora slid himself into the steaming water, enjoying the warmth. Oh yeah, he needed this. He watched as Hiroto slid in as well.

Hiroto curled up in the water, sighing as it eased every ache in his body. He shyly moved closer to Tora, moving to curl up against his chest after a while.

Tora's eyes were closed that moment as he rest against the porcelain tub. When he felt Hiroto's body move against his, he looked down. He gently slid his arms around the other, holding him close in the warm water.

Hiroto closed his eyes and sighed, nuzzling Tora's chest. Eventually he picked up the soap and began sliding it over Tora's skin to clean him.

Tora shivered slightly as the smaller one started to assist in cleaning him. Tora very gently lifted some of the hot water up to run it through Hiroto's hair, dampening it some before taking up a bit of shampoo and lathering it up slowly with gentle massaging fingers.

Hiroto sighed, spreading soap suds over Tora's chest and arms before washing it away with the warm water. It felt nice to touch someone again.

Tora slid some of the suds down along Hiroto's neck and shoulders, washing him with lazy hands. The heat of Hiroto's body warmed the soon-to-be king. He'd missed touching the other... Hell, human contact in general...

Hiroto slid his arms around Tora after a minute and moved his lips up to press against Tora's.

Tora's sud-covered hands slid down Hiroto's back resting loosely around his waist as he returned the very soft kiss. That certainly got wheels turning in his head.

Hiroto pulled away after a moment, gently stroking Tora's face. He kissed both Tora's cheeks too.

Tora nuzzled the smaller one gently as his cheeks were kissed, keeping him close. He slid one of his hands up, gently caressing Hiroto's cheek as well.

Hiroto smiled slightly for the first time since Shou's passing, feeling a lot more at ease now that he was with Tora again.

Tora pulled Hiroto against him gently, hugging the smaller one. A soft smile touched his lips, the first in so long, as he held Hiroto close. He'd missed the other so much...

"Shall we attend dinner together tonight?" Hiroto asked softly, since they had both spent far too much time in their rooms.

Tora smiled slightly and nodded. "I think that would be a good idea..."

"And Tora?" Hiroto said, smiling a little more. "I love you." He confessed, kissing the other's cheek.

Tora smiled more as he returned the other's kiss. "I love you, too, Hiroto..." he confessed, glad he still had someone to spend his life living with.

~THE END~

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