Officipedia

404

Someone who is clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404-URL Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. Used as in: "Don't bother asking him...he's a 404,man."

Adminisphere

The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

Alpha Geek

The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group

Assmosis

The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss

Blamestorming

Aitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed, or a project failed and whom was responsible.

Body Nazis

Hard core exercise and weightlifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.

Chainsaw Consultant

An Outside Expert brought in to reduce the Employee headcount , leaving the top brass with clean hands.

CLM

Career Limiting Move - Used among microserfs to describe and ill advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.

Cube Farm

An office filled with cubicles.

Decruited

Getting fired. "Did you hear about Ted? He was Decruited!"

Flight Risk

Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.

Generica

Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions. Used as in: "We were so lost in Generica that I forgot what city we were in."

G.O.O.D. Job

A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.

Idea Hamsters

People who always seem to have their idea generators running.

Irritainment

Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example

Lie-Ku

Meaningless slogans and catchphrases magagement invents to motivate employees. i.e. TEAM: Together Everyone Acheives More.

Low-Strider

A boss who is to short to be seen over the top of a cubicle. Thus can sneak up on people and catch them unawares.

Mouse Potato

The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

Percussive Maintenance

The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

Prairie Dogging

When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

Salmon day

The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

S.C.P.

Medical condition of the wrist due to years of typing in the taxing possition to reach all keys. Named for the sounds your wrists make.(Snap, Crackle, Pop)

Seagull Manager

A Manager Who flies in, Makes a Lot of Noise, Craps on everything and then leaves.

SITCOMs

What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stat home with the kids. Stands for "Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage."

Squirt the Bird/Worm

Transmiting information via satellite/cable

Starter Marriage

A short lived first marriage that ends in divorce with not kids, no property and no regrets.

Stress Puppy

A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

Swiped Out

An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

Taking the Tour

Attending a training class just to get a vaction from ones job

The Sleeps

Period after lunch where very little work gets done

Treeware

Hardcopy documentation or other printed material

Umfriend

A sexual relation of dubious standing or a concealed intimate relationship, as in "This is Dylan, my...um...friend."

WhoaNO-second

That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

Xerox Subsidy

Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

Yuppie Food Stamps

The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal: "We owe $8 each, but all anybody's got are yuppie food stamps."