Well, I’d like to think my latest Mr. T comic stands on its own as a narrative, but there is some background you might not know about the characters and shows I’m satirizing, so here you go...


Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos
 This was a cheaply produced kids cartoon put out in 1986 by Ruby Spears, the company also responsible for such gems as the animated version of Punky Brewster, and Rubik & the Amazing Cube.  Karate Kommandos was a formulaic star vehicle in the mold of Mister T and Rambo, which lasted all of 5 episodes before cancellation.  As the title implies, Chuck Norris was the star of the series.  I’m assuming you know who he is, and if not, a simple google search should turn up all sorts of relevant FACTS about the man.  But, Chuck had an impressive posse on this cartoon, so allow me to introduce some of the team!



Tabe, the Sumo champion.  He’s always hungry, eager to please, and is the source of much comic relief.  He had a penchant for smashing bad guys over the head with heavy objects.  I think he might have been second in command behind Chuck.  He gets a lot more dialogue than any of the other team members, which suggests he must have been important.  But, whenever he broke into an enemy hideout he would head straight for the mess hall, and beat up the bad-guy chefs.


Kimo, the Samurai warrior.  Kimo fights with a sword, but oddly enough you never really see him cut anything or anyone.  Still, he looks extremely cool.  Doesn't talk much, but definitely keeps up his end of the requisite ninja-fighting, keeping the world safe from the forces of evil.  He's tragically underused in the show, especially considering that Samurai are totally awesome.

Too Much.  Chuck’s young ward.  Why did Chuck Norris have a young ward?  Why was he named Too Much?  Why did he get kidnapped every other episode?  I can’t answer any of these questions, of course, but I do know that Too Much is the greatest little Asian kid sidekick this side of Temple of Doom, and he totally steals the show!  In case you can't guess, he does say his catchphrase "TOO MUCH!" in every episode 3 or 4 times.


Mister T
This was another Ruby-Spears production, and somewhat more successful than Kommandos, running a total of 30 episodes.  Mister T’s Saturday morning cartoon was built on the premise that our mohawked hero traveled the world with a bunch of kids on a gymnastics team (members of the generically named American Championship Gymnastics Team), fighting crime and solving mysteries as they went.  A great (and hilarious) summary/review of the first episode can be found here .  Of course, we all know Mr. T (and I pity the fool who does not), but you may not be as familiar with the other members of  his entourage.

Spike.  Mister T’s young ward.  I guess there was supposed to be something humorous about a little white kid acting and talking like Mr. T.  The whole thing provided very few laughs, however.  It was actually pretty creepy, since you could never figure out exactly why this kid was spending every waking moment of his life hanging around Mr. T, and nobody seemed to think they should discourage the boy's obsession with the action hero, even though it led him into danger more often than not.  As is apparently the case with most young wards, Spike served as a lightning rod for kidnappers on the show.

Woody, Jeff, Robin, Kim, etc.  They’re pretty much gymnasts.  That’s about the extent of it.  Not much reason to know one from the other, as they all served the same purpose.  They would capture hardened criminals using a combination of flips and jumps, and predictably, one or more would end up needing to be rescued by Mr. T, usually while dangling from a ledge or cliff.  Why did Mr. T spend so much time with them?  I guess he was their coach, though they never bother with much explanation about it.  They were ethnically diverse to the extreme, with Black, Latino, Native American, and Asian members appearing in various episodes.  Usually one of them would have some sort of moral dilemna which would prompt the show's message, delivered explicitly by the real-live Mr. T during the opening and closing segments of each show.

 
Dozer.  This dog was definitely the brains behind the whole operation, and always a few steps ahead of the others.  Now, I'll admit I've never actually seen a dog with a mohawk.  But, if Mr. T did have a dog, I would assume it would probably look like this.  While the show stopped short of having Dozer actually speak, they would ocassionally stretch the limits with this character, such as in scenes where he dangled from a cliff by his front paws.


Frank

One of the artists working for Ruby Spears back in the 80’s, who was a designer for both Mister T and Karate Kommandos, was a man named Jim Woodring .  In the 1990’s, Woodring started an underground comic in which he unleashed bizarre psychedelic visions that captivated readers and fans of the medium.  The star of Jim’s dream-world was a creature who might best be described as Mickey Mouse on acid.  Frank was a mute generic anthropomorph who looks sort of like a cross between a cat and a beaver.  His stories quickly achieved cult status amongst artsy alternative-types who go for that sort of thing.  The typical Frank comic is perhaps too strange to describe in words, offering glimpses into a twisted fantasy world that is both utterly compelling and deeply unsettling.  Several recurring characters are found in the pages of these comics, and I’ll introduce you to a couple of them here.  


Frank, our protagonist in most of these stories, is somewhat of an empty vessel, more or less innocent.  We discover a strange world through Frank’s eyes, and are asked to share in both his wonderment and confusion as things go from weird to weirder.  Frank is completely loveable, but is a bit of a jerk.

Manhog.  Half man, half pig, this guy is usually at odds with Frank.  He is a filthy, selfish beast, and perhaps not as bright as some other creatures in the Frank comics.  Often, Manhog ends up as the brunt of unspeakable acts of violence, sometimes perpetrated by others, and sometimes self-inflicted.

Pupshaw.  Sort of a cross between a dog and a toaster, Pupshaw is described by Woodring as extremely faithful to her owner Frank.  Pupshaw has a magical ability to morph into other shapes, and frequently plays the role of savior when Frank’s adventures place him in danger.  Pupshaw's male counterpart and love interest is a similarly shaped creature known as Pushpaw.



Go To Mr. T vs Chuck Norris

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