| NO EXCUSE SUNDAY DEDICATED TO MISSING CHURCH MEMBERS To make it possible for everyone to attend church next Sunday, we are going to have a special "No Excuse Sunday." 1. Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, " Sunday is my only day to sleep in." 2. There will be a special section with lounge chairs for those who feel that are pews are too hard. 3. We will provide hearing aids for those who can't hear the preacher and cotton for those who can! 4. Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching TV late Saturday night. 5. We will have steel helmets for those who say, "The roof would cave in if I ever came to church." 6. Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold, and fans for those who say it is too hot. 7. Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present. 8. Relatives and friends will be in attendance for those who can't go to church and cook dinner too. 9. We will distribute "Stamp Our Stewardship" buttons for those that feel the church is always asking for money. 10. One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to seek God in nature. 11. Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick on Sunday. 12. The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who have never seen the Church without them. |