You Breathe : Tearless

 

Seeing you asleep like this makes me remember the time when you slept in my house. I woke you up from your slumber to sleepily point out the waning moon and tell you that there was a full moon out. You looked like you were torn between falling asleep on me and laughing your head off. When morning came and you told me what I did, I felt like the fool I really am.

 

You were always the strong one. The one with the intense eyes and spontaneity. You were the one with the insomnia and the musical voice. You were the one with the love for rock and the love for Alanis Morrisette. You were the one who made friends with the wallflower that was me.

 

You were also the one who didn’t cry.

 

I cried a lot, you would recall that. But you were always so strong that I was so embarrassed at myself for crying in front of you. It seemed that you didn’t know how to react to what I was feeling. And I was embarrassed for troubling you. I was everything boring in being a girl, you were everything surprising.

 

Slowly, I learned to temper my tears and still I was so much in awe of your strength. Your ability to bounce back. Your ability to fight for what you believe is right. Your ability to seize the day and squeeze from it every drop of life. But most of all, I loved your ability to be who you were, and not let anyone take that from you.

Our friendship never really had tears written into it. You and I never embraced each other and wept bitter tears about life in general. We shared our problems, but with so much objectivity and most of the time we just poked fun at our problems that we never had time to cry about them.

 

But it doesn’t mean that you aren’t one of the people who made me who I am right now. You have been one of my dearest friends.

 

I wish I could say close but we never really were. There are days that it bothered me to realize that until now, I have no idea exactly who you were. On some days I really don’t mind. But you are one of the few people I would do anything for. And of course, you’re one of the people I will miss dearly.

 

I always wished that we could’ve had the band that we planned and toiled for. I would’ve loved to be able to sing with you. But alas, I am neither a singer nor a musician, like you are. But maybe one day, you will be on stage, I hope you will believe me when I say this, but I shall be in the crowd screaming your name. I will be your greatest fan. In fact, I already am.

 

The tears were all meant to be shed by me. But nevertheless, our friendship is tearless, because it never needed tears in the first place.