You Breathe : Sweet Tears

 

       Laid out, quiet and silent, somehow I cannot differentiate between you when you’re asleep and you when you’re awake. Maybe you’re noisier when you’re awake. Maybe, maybe.

 

       But in both you have this frightening stillness that I cannot find the reason for. All this time, you’ve been chained, and now, you’re free and you won’t believe me. You’re so used to being limited in moving and now you can’t move more than an inch out of your skin.

 

       I lay down beside you, facing you as quietly as I can. Your mouth is slightly open, and you’re laying there, your cheek cradled in your palm. A tear escapes your eyes and trickles silently upon your fingers.

 

       Softly, lovingly, I caress your sweet brow. Oh how you’ve grown, my sweet soul sister. How beautiful you are, and how sad. You are so beautiful in sadness. But I wonder, as I trace the tear’s path down your cheek, if you knew how much more beautiful you would be in happiness.

 

       All this time I’ve spent with you, I’ve tried to make you happy. I’ve tried to make you smile. I’ve tried to hold you back from the abyss that you so willingly look into. I never let you lean too far, lest you suddenly decide to jump. I could not let you jump.

 

       At first I couldn’t stand the idea that you might be leaving me. But then, I realized that you have far more important things to do. You have to live my sweet soul sister, my twin star. The abyss is not your final resting place.

 

       My hand glances upon the frail, thin and white marks that decorate your arm. They heal. They once were the only escape you had. But with every single mark left upon your arms, your body, with red to white they bloom into pain. With every mark you are an inch closer to the damned abyss that you are so fascinated with. Must you hurt yourself to realize that you are still alive?

 

       I will not be always here. In fact, I’m leaving. But somehow, some way you will still be here in my heart. We are a part of one another, the two of us sweet soul sister. Distance is nothing more than a man made distance and not something of consequence. Not to souls as old as us. What we have nothing can remove. I am your twin star and fate will find a way of putting us back together. We will find another again, if not in this life, in the others I will seek you out and I will help you face the darkness in your heart, in our hearts.

 

       And when that day comes, we will both shed sweet tears.