Warnings and Disclaimers : Don’t own Gundam Wing. I DO own the anger in the story. Warning,
there is
Die If You Want To
(Don’t Speak)
GW Fanfic By J. Helios
“If you’re going to
jump off into the abyss Heero, do me a favor and
DON’T DRAG ME IN WITH YOU!”
Heero was still sitting
where he was when Duo started shouting. Duo was edging towards the door,
trembling and knuckles turning white. “Who ever said that I wanted to bring you
with me?”
Don’t speak.
“And to think I used
to admire you…” Duo half-whispered. He looked down, at some point just past his
feet. He breathed heavily, lacking air after shouting and screaming at Heero.
“And now what?” came Heero’s monotone after a few moments.
Duo’s head snapped up
and Heero’s questioning gaze was met with furious
indigo ones. “I DESPISE YOU!” He pointed angrily at Heero,
“If you want to DIE, go and DIE dickhead! But if you EVER do that in the middle
of a fucking mission, Godammit, Heero
Fucking Yuy, you’ll find out what friendly fire is.”
The door slam echoed
in the safe house.
Bullets sang in the air
of the corridor just behind the three boys. Duo slapped the door toggle and Trowa and Heero ran in after him.
Once his team mates were clear of the door, he quickly closed it and shot the
door panel. He nodded towards the two and they quickened their pace.
Stopping at a doorway
just before the garage, the three half knelt in the shadows. “Can’t see anyone”
whispered Duo, while trying to catch his breath.
“Iya”
came Heero’s voice after taking a peek from behind
the crates that provided their cover. “Four of them, in pairs. At
I know what you’re thinking.
Duo stood leaning on
the sink, glaring at the setting sun outside. His knuckles gripped the edge of
the sink as he gritted his teeth in anger.
:Damn you Yuy.: He pushed off the sink and stalked to the sofa and
sprawled out on it. :It’s never enough to bleed. Right? Sadist. Masochist. Never
ever enough.: He grabbed the remote and changed it to a basketball game.
“That was fucked up!”
breathed Duo. Trowa didn’t look up from driving. Heero was inspecting his handgun. Duo’s eyebrows knitted and
he punched Heero lightly on the shoulder. “Oi, perfect soldier, you’re fucked up!”
Heero looked up momentarily
and raised an eyebrow.
“Did you have to charge
in there like a bloody idiot?” Duo looked incredulous, bordering on the
annoyed. “We could have distracted them some other way you know.”
“But not as efficiently
as that.” Heero locked in a new clip. “No witnesses.”
Duo’s frown got deeper. “It
was still majorly fucked up. You could’ve died.” He
shot a look at the case at his feet, the primary reason for going into the
base. :Is it worth that much…?:
Heero shot him a questioning
look. “Your point?”
Duo opened his mouth and
then stopped when he saw Trowa giving them strange
glances. He closed it abruptly and turned away instead. “Later.”
Heero snorted. “If you
remember”
Duo turned off the TV
and stalked into his room. Thankful for having separate rooms for once, he
threw himself on the bed. He turned until he was lying on his stomach, his face
deep into his pillow.
:I hate you when you
say that you want to die.: He thought angrily. :Now I just plain hate you:
“It’s never enough, is
it Mr. Perfect Soldier?” he repeated unto his pillow. “You bleed and bleed and
bleed and you just get so damned turned on by being at the edge of life and
death.” He slammed his fist on the bed near his head. “You’re fucked up and I
hate you.”
He turned his head to
the side, facing the wall that separated his and Heero’s
room. “You hear me Yuy? I HATE YOU!!!”
I don’t need your reasons.
“Heero?”
“Uhn”
was the response from the computer. Duo pushed the door open and quietly made
his way in. He had been talking to himself for some time, trying to calm
himself enough to get the message through to Heero.
“Hey, can we talk?” He
asked haltingly.
Heero didn’t even look up. “Usually
you’re the one doing the talking.”
Duo gave a short, forced
laugh. “Yeah well, this time well…” he shrugged. “I just wanted to know…well,
what were you thinking. You know as well as I did that what you did a while ago
was really suicidal you know. And we didn’t need that you know…you know?”
Heero gave a shrug.
Duo sighed again, “Look,
I’m just asking, as your friend, what
were you thinking? You really could’ve died”
“I really could’ve but I
couldn’t care less.”
Duo felt his train of
thought halting abruptly. “Eh? What?”
Heero turned and looked a him
and said slowly, “I Couldn’t Care Less”
Duo felt his earlier
annoyance bubbling up again. “That’s Fucked up. You mean, you WANT to die?”
All he was given was
another indifferent shrug.
“You’re so willing to
die…” Duo said slowly.
“The abyss is my final
resting place” said Heero shortly.
Something snapped in Duo
when he said that.
“If you’re going to jump
off into the abyss Heero, do me a favor and DON’T
DRAG ME IN WITH YOU!”
Don’t tell me coz it hurts.
“Bloody dickhead.”
Muttered Duo. He was kneeling in front of the wall between his and Heero’s room.
He stood up and went
to sit on his bed. “Go ahead and die. You don’t care about anything else…or
anyone else. You never cared about me or anyone else. You’re a selfish bastard.”
“Die if you want to Heero Yuy.”
** Owari
**
Author’s Notes : This
is my most colorful work. Also my angriest and most illogical one as of this
date. I was really angry as I wrote this and somehow it’s therapeutic because
my anger went down a bit. *sigh* any comments and suggestions? Please send to [email protected] or to [email protected] or to [email protected]
.