ND 4monkey: how the bend?

Auto response from ND 4monkey: I don't know where the hell I went!

eViL MiErDa: boring as ever... as usual
ND 4monkey: you better be there
ND 4monkey: i am only active once in a blue moon
eViL MiErDa: Yeah no shit
ND 4monkey: lol
eViL MiErDa: howve ya been whats new
ND 4monkey: same shit different day
ND 4monkey: about to head to the great white north
eViL MiErDa: s. bend?
ND 4monkey: worse
eViL MiErDa: chicago? lol
ND 4monkey: hint it was 40 below last week
eViL MiErDa: Not a good hint.. I never pay attention to the weather or the news..?
ND 4monkey: montana
eViL MiErDa: ewe what the hell is in montana?
ND 4monkey: canadians that cross over the border?
eViL MiErDa: lol well besides that
ND 4monkey: snow
ND 4monkey: win
ND 4monkey: wind
eViL MiErDa: you can get all that here but maybe w/o the Canadians
eViL MiErDa: Its colder then shit here today... but then again I dunno cuz I've hibernated in the house all day
ND 4monkey: lol
eViL MiErDa: Where are you livin now..?
ND 4monkey: California
eViL MiErDa: You shit
ND 4monkey: lol
eViL MiErDa: If you would have told me you moved back home I wouldnt feel so bad lol
eViL MiErDa: LA?
ND 4monkey: santa maria
eViL MiErDa: sweet
ND 4monkey: where jacksons court case is
eViL MiErDa: lol hey why did jacksin go to walmart?
eViL MiErDa: I thought this was pretty funny when I heard this
ND 4monkey: why?
eViL MiErDa: cuz he hears boys' pants were 1/2 off
eViL MiErDa: I laughed so hard
eViL MiErDa: heard*
ND 4monkey: lol
ND 4monkey: lol
eViL MiErDa: Its even funnier when your half wasted...
eViL MiErDa: How was your christmas and new years?
ND 4monkey: most things are
ND 4monkey: christmas was good
ND 4monkey: new years was relaxing
ND 4monkey: you?
eViL MiErDa: good for the most part... christmas my mom came up and bitched me out cuz I came home drunk from a xmas party
eViL MiErDa: new years was fun... went to a party that was bout it
ND 4monkey: lol
eViL MiErDa: is ur sister still at nd
ND 4monkey: yeah
eViL MiErDa: she likin it?
ND 4monkey: yeah
eViL MiErDa: when ya comin out for a visit?
ND 4monkey: soon as i can
eViL MiErDa: that'll be never lol
ND 4monkey: hopefully for a game next year
eViL MiErDa: that'll be cool... u should come to the nevy game if they're playin this yr
ND 4monkey: prehaps
eViL MiErDa: well if u come up... we'll have to go for a drink or somethin
eViL MiErDa: cuz yanno ya cant forget the lil people in s. bend lol
ND 4monkey: lol
ND 4monkey: Oh no, I�m not doubting the sovereignty of some chick laying in a bed in some tower. Not at all. I can buy vested power. What I�m calling in to question is this whole �kiss� thing. Doesn�t it strike you as odd if a little kiss will wake this girl up yet it has to be a SPECIAL kiss? That�s awfully convenient. That�s like a girl saying she doesn�t think of you �in that way�. It�s a cop out for her to choose whoever blows her vestment up. How do you know she isn�t up there letting any knight with a horse and a set of brass to come into the castle and lay one on her? And by some stretch, let�s just say she is asleep. Conked out by that spell. What�s to stop some knight of loose morals and ethics from seriously goosing her while she�s asleep? All I know is in a couple of years, Prince Charming better not assume little Billy is taking the throne carrying on HIS blood line.
eViL MiErDa
ND 4monkey: figured yould like it
eViL MiErDa: dude my mom says hi lol
eViL MiErDa: mrs torance
ND 4monkey: married?
ND 4monkey: tell her congrats
ND 4monkey: guy from scotland?
eViL MiErDa: lol
eViL MiErDa: hell no
eViL MiErDa: that must have been the stupidest thing she ever did
eViL MiErDa: she was talkin bout the shining thing
ND 4monkey: huh?
eViL MiErDa: I dunno... remember when you guys used to do the shining thing with your finger and go "Mrs. Torance" at cafe.. I dunno she just told me to say it lol
ND 4monkey: yes i do
ND 4monkey: how is she?
eViL MiErDa: doin good... missin home
ND 4monkey: where is she?
eViL MiErDa: Texas
ND 4monkey: y?
eViL MiErDa: She moved down there last Aug
ND 4monkey: with your sis?
ND 4monkey: es
eViL MiErDa: yep
eViL MiErDa: Hey... Im headin out... nice talkin to ya! Hopefully we'll talk soon... give me a call sometime if you want... my cell phone... 574-383-2049 cyaaaaa

Auto response from ND 4monkey: It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

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