The Guru

For some reason from the poster you could tell it was going to be as authentic as a microwave Balti or a motorway service station Chickken Tikka. microwave Balti or a motorway service station Chicken Tikka. think of all this I guess its good for exports and helps finance the space programme. I think what made me put my Pin pass in the slot was the fact that it was made by the producers of Bridget Jones Diary. The surprise international hit of 2001 thanks largely to cheap air travel giving non-Brits more of an insight into the national psyche.

 

A good kick-off with an in-vogue mass dance scene and it lead me to think that given that the curry house has become a commodity and profits are low perhaps they should branch out into full evenings with music and dancing and yes perhaps some philosophy thrown in but would the Saracens veteran third XV get the point somehow I doubt it. Anyway just an idea but remember to invite me to the opening I even pay my own bills.

 

Onto the main plot and it begins in an Indian village where the local dance teacher and heartthrob is seduced by the power of The Big Apple thanks to the regular letters from his mate in New York. He arrives and yes you've guessed it thinks aren't what they seem and after a disastrous debut as a curry waiter he accepts a part in a porn movie. Don't knock it as it is a well trodden route to the top particularly among eighties pop icons and Blue Peter presenters.

 

On the set things don't live up to expectations but his leading lady takes pity on him and offers some coaching lessons. Later on a real guru is taken ill so the actor to be is forced to step in at the last minute and tries to improvise with the tips he has just picked up. This is a huge success with his mixed aged group audience because after all you never stop learning.

 

The thing snowballs and soon a night on Broadway has been organised as well as the usual chat show appearances and yes a book deal.

 

The familiar English (not British, not UK, not Scottish or Welsh) West End bedroom farce plot climaxes in a wedding scene lifted directly from Zus en Zo with a concession to the US marriage laws in that only one of the couples gets married. Plagiarism is nothing new of course and no stranger to this site but with the writers available the could at least come up with something more original.

 

I hated it as it did have potential but was let down by poor cutting and pandering to current fashions To describe this as a piece of elephant shit (not rude in Holland) would be a disservice to elephant shit as if you can get hold of some is excellent for the garden particularly roses and strawberries but I guess the only surprise is that film makers have waited so long before attempting to cash in on the curry boom. Next time get the team from Goodness Gracious Me they know what they are doing. Its luck they don't go on a 24 hour strike and shut down the country.

 

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