Shameless plagurism (stealing of ideas.)
Personally I thought "What Women Want" was the best film title ever but to copy it no no no no it shows you have absolutely no class all that money but no class. But hey that's what the film was about so perhaps I'm missing something here. The falling chandaleer I mean us Brits saw that circa Christmas 1993, so passé and you have the nerve to call us "Old Europe" pehaps New World, Old Jokes would be our reposte. Hey do you want me to spell thet phonetically - it's French - like Fillet 'o Fish and Matre 'D.
Now for the serious bit. The film begins with a compute generated fly through of the City of New York, then we fade to a real scene somewhere in Chinatown, the soundtrack is good and we out away our preducdices as after all Hollywood films are written by commitee and although Britan gave the US her language, railways, the telephone, television, the World Wide Web and I believe the Internet* are Brits proud to have given the World "the commitee". They used to buy the records when they were good but should they copy "the commitee" as structure as a conduit for creativity or should they just "do the gig" and watch the bottom line ? Who Knows they keep coming back so it can't be that bad.
No originality but it's the story of an American late teenager coming to Europe to find out about her ancestors but it turns out that her father holds a herdetary peeriage and can call himself Lord
The character is an obvious parady of the former honourable member for Enfield Southgate now representing the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea and like his real world candidate is seen as the saviour of The Party because of his squaqy clean reputation. His brash American daughter arrives on the scene and threatens to blow all this and when the press find out there is a sharp drop in the polls. They get invited to all sorts of functions which are staged like B-movie versions of Hugh Grant films but with a few good moments. A subtle cameo by two girl twins from Essex** made me laugh as no doubt their father gave the party GBP 1m a year from the profits of his national chain of used car emporiums. But would they let him escape to Canvey Island if the tax inspectors got onto him ? We never found out as we bever got to see how The Party fared in the next election. We'll have to wait for the sequel.
At the interval my thought was to recommend that people go and watch Terminator III so you get to see the trailer for free. A terrible first half and if the film was shown at Highbury or indeed any other English Premiership stadium the cast would have been booed off at half time
In football grounds you turn to your friend and say "What would you tell them at half-time ?" and he usualy say something stupid such as. Most Dutch cinemas have an interval and it's great for films like these but not for the ones that build up suspense over the 90 minutes.
"Clear Your desk and report to personnel to collect your P45***"
or perhaps.
"Another 45 minutes of this and I'll be on the phone to the knackers yard**** and you'll end up like that horse you lost last week's win bonus on".
In football they hardly ever turn it round at half-time and in films it's the same but when they do you find yourself wondering what the hell they said. Good groundwork, good players, some neat ideas but they couldn't make it work but somehow in the second period it all came together and when the Irish Van Morrison classic "Have I told you Lately" came on the soundtrack it seemed entirely appropriate even though the film was set in English High Society. It's a lovely song and in the era of free recorded music you really should check it out and it's about time someone did a new 21st Century version of it maybe a duet but don't ask us We can't Dance, We can't sing. We just write jokes.
Must try harder but has potential and perhaps a symptom of Hollywood's faliure to connect with the youth of today. Personally I found myself identifying with the girl's father and not hating her brash, good looking boyfriend. It's nice, I quiet like it but it's something I am going to have to get used to and we don't make enough money for a toupée.
I'll leave you with a thought I had before choosing which film to see. Should I go see "Terminator III" or "What a Girl Wants" and risk being called all sorts of names ? I guess the solution is to see both and keep them guessing.
* It's designed the same way as the electricity grid - just a theory.
** Essex is an area between London and the East Coast and people increctly used to make blonde-type jokes about the people there.
*** P45 is the form you recieve when leaving a job. Compare with UB40 the one you use to claim state benefits.
**** The knackers yard (the k is silent) is where they dispose of old horses.