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Biography
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  ANDRE
THERIAULT
 32
MARITAL BLISS
CRUISE DIRECTOR
ANSE-BLEUE, NB
 "I
ain’t dead yet!”
 SONY CLIE
Andre's Biography
Andre lives in Fredericton with his lovely wife Stacey and
the lovely cat Athena. Andre has lived on both Canadian
coasts and until recently has refused to say he was from anywhere
but Halifax, the land of his birth and the Bluenose. However,
recently he has admitted a hometown advantage in Anse-Bleue where most of
his family resides.
Andre is still not dead, after finally undergoing open-heart surgery.
Not that he was ever dead, much to the chagrin of his many wives and
followers who must suffer through his incessant attempts at haiku poetry,
his uncanny ability to turn your favourite song into an annoying parody,
and his obsession with television, in particular his 24 hour a day
preoccupation with "Survivor."
Andre was the only sober survivor, and as such was the
"designated walker" of the group and made sure everyone made it
back to their beds at night. However, since they fixed his
heart up all nice, we can't stop
him from drinking. Two years ago, Andre threw up his soul after a fun
night with Pierre, The Captain, and Jose. He did have the presence of
mind to dig his own hole in the sand first, so that's something.
Andre has recently discovered that he may or may not have something called
“diverticulitis.” It is a disease,
which, like his heart disease, often strikes the elderly. As a collector of old man
diseases, Andre’s diet has recently changed from simply white rice and
meat to healthier options, like not white rice and meat. In addition to downing the occasional
Bowel Buddy, he has had to make friends with salad.
Andre’s birthday is August 3, 1973, making him a lovable
Leo. This year, he turns 33, thus achieving his lifelong goal of
being older than Jesus was when he died.
Andre THINKS he is most like the real Survivor, Greg.
His fellow survivors think he is in a league of his own, a combination of
Richard's scheming, Sean's misspent IQ, and Greg's offbeat sense of
humour.
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