Sorry for the delay. This week was not an easy week to find extra writing time. I can only hope you will find the story was worth the wait! As usual, feedback is greatly appreciated at either [email protected] or on the NBK message board. And, as usual, there is more to come!
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Sam was completely unprepared for Josie's sudden kiss. "Oh boy, am I in trouble…" was his last coherent thought before he gave in to the incredible tide of sensation Josie was creating in him. He wrapped both arms around her and molded her body to his, returning Josie's kiss with equal ardor. Dimly, he realized that this kiss was unlike any other they had shared thus far. Before now, all of Josie's kisses, while being sweet, romantic, and even passionate, had all been tentative, almost as if she were unsure of herself…and of him.
But not this. This was the kiss of a woman who knew exactly what she wanted…and had every intention of getting it. Who knew that under Josie's shy, sweet demeanor lurked a woman with such depth of passion? Obviously, no one but him, he realized. He shivered at that notion and at what else it brought to mind. He was suddenly not at all sure he could withstand this onslaught without giving in to it and to his heated thoughts.
Bright lights exploded like fireworks behind Josie's eyelids as she felt Sam's immediate response to her embrace. She was spinning, falling, with only Sam to cling to for salvation.
Somewhere deep inside, Sam knew that he really should stop before the situation got completely out of hand…but he couldn't. He was lost. He slid his right hand slowly up Josie's back and into the hair at the nape of her neck. Then, tilting her head back to expose a creamy expanse of her neck, he nuzzled at a sensitive spot just under her left ear. Josie rewarded him with a soft sigh that sent the flames of desire inside him spiraling even higher, burning brightly, almost out of control…
Just then, a car sped by on the once-silent street. Rap music blared garishly as it passed within inches of Sam's car door. At the sound, Sam and Josie jumped apart as if they'd been burned. They stared at each other in shock, their harsh and labored breathing filling the dense quiet, each suddenly realizing what had happened—and where.
Finally, Sam spoke. He laid a protective hand on her forearm and asked softly, "Are you okay?"
Josie's first thought to herself was, 'Hell, yes! I feel wonderful, incredible…" Josie's internal monologue abruptly stopped as another thought invaded her brain, "Oh my God, what have I done!?" But to Sam, she responded, "I think so."
Sam heaved a small sigh of relief and dropped his hand to sit back, close his eyes, and relax his head against the seat's headrest, trying to regain his bearings. After a moment, he opened his eyes to look at her again and continued sincerely, "So, what was that all about?"
Josie blushed furiously under Sam's questioning gaze. She stared at her hands as she twisted them together in her lap nervously and replied, "I'm not sure, exactly. I don't know what came over me."
Sam reached over and placed a guiding finger under her chin and tilted Josie's head up, turning it so that he could see the conflicting emotions on her face. She looked as if she might cry. "Josie, it's okay, really," he tried to reassure her. "No harm done." Yeah, no harm done except for his poor hormones, he thought. Those might never recover.
Josie smiled tentatively at him, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. "Yeah, but I just don't do things like this…I wonder what you must think of me now…" she trailed off miserably.
"Come on now, Josie…" Sam tried to reason with her. "Why would I think any differently of you just because you decided to kiss me, instead of the other way around? It's not like we don't know each other, like we're complete strangers or something. These sorts of things happen between two people in love, you know…"
Josie laughed a little and swiped at her eyes with her hand. "Yeah, I suppose so…" He was probably right, she decided. After all, she was the one here that hadn't done any of this before; he must know what he's talking about.
Sam watched Josie's demeanor brighten as she accepted his statement. That settled, Sam removed his hand from Josie's chin and turned the key in the ignition to start the car. "So, we're off to your apartment now, right?" He wasn't so sure that the privacy her apartment would afford was the best place for them at this moment.
"Yes," Josie replied. After a few moments, she suddenly sat up straighter and amended hastily, "Wait! I mean no. I just realized that I left my briefcase in Rob's car outside your apartment. Would you mind terribly if we stopped by to pick it up first? I'll need it for work tomorrow."
Ah, there was a God, Sam thought. By the time they got halfway across town to his apartment and then back across town to Josie's, he should have regained some semblance of control where she was concerned. "Sure, that's not a problem." He signaled for a left turn and then pulled out of the parking space onto the narrow street. "Did you want to pick up your car, too?"
"Not particularly." Josie sounded disgusted. "I've had it up to here…" she lifted her hand to motion about a foot above her head, "with that hunk of junk. Besides, my car is supposed to be ready tomorrow afternoon. If you could give me a ride to work in the morning, I wouldn't need to pick it up tonight. Would you, please?"
"Give you a ride to work? Yeah, I'd be happy to…especially if it means not worrying whether you'd get there in one piece." Sam smiled warmly at Josie. "Would you like to listen to some music?"
Thinking about song lyrics sounded a lot more appealing to Josie than trying to sort of her jumbled mass of emotions right now. She wasn't ready to figure them out yet. She wasn't sure if she'd ever be ready. "Yeah, that sounds good."
Sam turned the volume knob on the stereo. The last few moments of the song he had been singing along with earlier replayed and then faded into silence. Sam touched the auto-reverse button to play the other side of the tape. The machine clicked and then began to play a soft melody, obviously in the middle of a song. Sam instantly let out a hearty laugh.
Josie was confused by Sam's strange reaction. The music sounded familiar, but she couldn't place the song. Figuring that she was probably still addled from the intensity of their embrace, she finally asked, "What are you laughing at?"
"Wait a minute; you'll see," Sam grinned. As she listened, the orchestral sound blended into a soft piano, and then Sam sang along with Billy Joel in order to clarify the words for her as they played, "Bottle of red… Bottle of white… Whatever kind of mood you're in tonight… I'll meet you anytime you want in our Italian restaurant."
As he finished singing, Sam looked at Josie pointedly. Understanding his earlier mirth, she also laughed. He continued, "That's so strange that song came on right now…'Scenes From an Italian Restaurant'…Do you know that song?"
"I recognized it once you started singing it, but I'm not too familiar with some of Billy Joel's earlier stuff," Josie explained.
Sam shrugged one shoulder in a self-conscious gesture. "Yeah, well, I tend to like music that is a little 'older' than us. I guess that's from hanging out with Abby so much. It's what I grew up listening to…"
Josie peeked over at Sam. "Hey, that reminds me…You play the guitar?"
"Oh, did you see my guitar?" Josie nodded. Sam explained, "Yes, I do play, although by now, I'm probably a little rusty. It was not a talent that Lara was very impressed with, so I haven't played much…" Sam explained.
Was there anything about Sam that Lara did like? Josie wondered. She swore that that woman probably did more damage to Sam's psyche in one week than Josie had probably done to anyone in her whole life… The more she heard about Lara, the more she was beginning to detest her.
Josie then thought about the bubbly, outspoken Maria. Josie was sure Maria was not one to hold back on how she felt about anything or anyone. Josie wondered whether the woman had met Lara and what she had thought of her. She asked, referring to Luigi's, "Did you ever bring Lara to eat there?"
Sam sat silently for a moment, and then responded with a sad, faraway voice, "Once, a long time ago. It was her first trip to visit me after she had moved to New York. She was unimpressed, to say the least. She spent most of the night telling me about all the places she'd been to in New York that were 'much more authentic.' She also complained that it was too 'blue collar' for her, adding that she wasn't surprised I liked it."
Sam did not have to explain any further. Josie could picture the whole scenario: Lara with her businesslike attire, short skirts, and self-centeredness would not have liked the homey atmosphere of Luigi's. And she was quite sure Lara would have been rude and imperious to Maria, treating her like the hired help, instead of a valued friend of Sam's. He must have been so embarrassed that he never brought her back. Josie gently probed, "But didn't she know about your attachment to Maria and Luigi? How much they meant to you?"
"No," he replied flatly. "I hadn't gotten a chance to tell her, and I chose not to after that."
"I'm sorry if I hit a nerve; that wasn't the intention," Josie apologized.
Sam looked instantly remorseful. "No, it's okay, really. It's not you. It's just that when I compare my entire relationship with Lara to the one I already have with you, it makes me wonder what I thought I was doing before. I don't know how I ever convinced myself I was happy with her."
He looked over at Josie and smiled warmly. "We are so much alike, you and I. I knew you would like Maria, and that she would like you. It goes without saying, I think, that she did not like Lara at all. Every time I saw Maria after that, she'd try to set me up with one of her nieces…" he chuckled. "I think that was a pretty good indication, don't you?"
Josie laughed, because she could easily imagine Maria blatantly attempting to break them up. "Yes, I'd say so. I think her opinion of me was slightly better… She told me she wanted an invitation to the wedding."
Sam laughed gleefully, his good mood restored. "Yes, I'd say so… Did she really say that?"
"Oh yes, just before we left, while you were in the kitchen with Luigi," Josie replied. They rode quietly for a moment before she continued, "I didn't get to meet Luigi; what is he like?"
"Stern, gruff, stubborn, just what you'd expect for a burly Italian man straight from the Old Country; but inside, he has a heart of gold. Hey, maybe you could come to his birthday celebration with me and meet him. I'm sure that Maria would be thrilled to see you again."
"Sure, it sounds like fun," Josie agreed. "Just let me know when it is."
The tape ended, and instead of allowing it to turn over again, Sam ejected the tape and pushed one of the preset radio station buttons. The disc jockey's soothing voice informed them, "You're listening to 93.9, WLIT, your soft rock station for your favorites of yesterday and today. Now, here's a love song request off of NSync's newest album: "God Must Have Spent a Little More Time on You."
Sam and Josie listened to the lyrics of a song neither of them had heard before. "Can this be true? Tell me, can this be real? How can I put into words what I feel? My life was complete; I thought I was whole. Why do I feel like I'm losing control? Never thought that love could feel like this, and you changed my world with just one kiss..."
Sam couldn't believe he was listening to these words coming out of his radio. It was like someone had listened to the whisperings of his soul and made them into a song. He reached over and held one of Josie's hands as he drove, needing to have that closeness with her as they continued to listen. "How can it be that right here with me is an angel? It's a miracle." Sam looked at Josie then and smiled at the analogy. "Your love is like a river, peaceful and deep. Your soul is like a secret that I never could keep. When I look into your eyes I know that it's true: God must have spent a little more time on you."
Josie knew immediately when Sam had grasped her hand that he was trying to express that he felt this way about her. Tears sprung to her eyes as she listened to the beauty of the words. She knew she felt exactly as the song described, too. She lifted their clasped hands to her lips and kissed Sam's hand as a sign that she understood.
They listened to the remainder of the song in silence, savoring every word. Well into the next song, both Sam and Josie sat with their hands still together, their thoughts on the last song, thinking of how well it had described them.
Sam broke the silence at last with a quiet observation. "I can't believe how much that song was me. I mean it was like they knew me and were singing about you and I specifically. It was amazing."
Josie swallowed the lump in her throat and responded. "Exactly. My life is so completely different from the way it used to be. I am so different from who I used to be. I used to think I had everything I wanted in life…until I saw you that first day in class. Then I knew I had been horribly wrong. You looked so much like a person who knew who he was and was comfortable with that knowledge. And, also that you knew your purpose in life and that you knew how to really enjoy life instead of just exist in it, like most people do."
Sam had never heard Josie's first impression of him before. "Really? You really thought all that just from me walking in the door and putting my briefcase on the desk?"
"Oh, yeah," Josie responded, "and that was before I heard you speak and saw your beautiful hazel-green eyes. Once you centered your gaze on me and said my name with that gorgeous voice of yours, I was a goner. Forget it. Totally hooked."
He shook his head a little in embarrassed denial. "You expect me to believe that you actually had a case of 'love at first sight'? Come on…"
"Hey, you can believe it or not believe it, but it doesn't change the fact that it's true," Josie replied seriously.
Sam turned to stare at Josie, a little startled by the intensity of her statement. After studying her a moment, he shrugged a shoulder and confessed, "Well, I was pretty much in the same boat with you, too…"
"Ha!" Josie snorted her disbelief. "Now, that is not possible…Do you even remember what I looked like that day!?"
"On the contrary, I remember every last detail, from the feather boa- collared blouse right down to the white frosted lipstick," Sam assured her.
"Then how in God's name can you say that?"
"Because," he replied, "those weren't the things I really noticed about you. Sure, at first they were –I mean, who wouldn't have noticed?— but what really attracted me to you were your eyes. They completely mesmerized me. I looked into them and forgot where I was…who I was. Don't you remember my rather awkward greeting?"
Josie nodded silently and waited for Sam to continue.
"I used my first name when I introduced myself to you. I never do that. Never. Not in school. It was only after it was out of my mouth that I realized I had made a serious blunder and had to backpedal quickly to cover myself."
He smiled ruefully at the memory of his mistake. "I thought I had recovered quite nicely…that was, until I heard you speak. Your voice was so soft, and warm, and friendly, and –okay, I admit it—sexy, that I felt my mouth go dry in response. It literally scared the hell out of me. I had never reacted in such a way to one of my students before. I mean, I've read stories about that sort of thing sometimes happening to teachers, and I'd laugh because I thought, 'No way would that ever happen to me…' Well, I wasn't laughing anymore."
"Yes, but the situation was much different in your case, since I really was of age, even though at the time you didn't know it," Josie reminded him.
"True," Sam acknowledged, "very true. It does give me a small measure of comfort that I'm not some sort of closet pedophile, but that I was actually reacting to a woman who wasn't necessarily all that good at pretending she was seventeen…"
"Yeah, no kidding. Acting was never exactly my strong suit," Josie confessed. "I thought for sure I had given myself away after I answered your question about the word 'pastoral.'"
"No. That question I asked you about your age had been a joke to cover the fact that I was completely blown away by your answer," he explained. "And it threw me completely off balance again, just when I had thought I was doing okay. I could hear that niggling little voice in my head saying, 'Uh-oh, and she's smart, too…'
Sam had just turned into the parking lot behind his apartment and pulled up alongside Bambi. Josie hated to interrupt this conversation right now; she found Sam's thoughts on her fascinating. But, she did, after all, ask him to make this special trip for her…
As Sam put the car in park and left the car running, Josie grabbed the handle and popped open her door. Turning her head to look over her shoulder, she said, "Be right back." Then she climbed out and closed the door.
After Josie's departure, Sam breathed a deep sigh of relief. As much as he normally loved the proximity that riding in the car afforded them, it was driving him crazy tonight, especially in the wake of that amazing kiss they had shared. He hoped he could maintain control over the willpower that was currently hanging on by a thread; he feared that it would prove to be more of a challenge than he could handle.
Josie unlocked Bambi's passenger side door and opened it, jumping slightly as the squeak of the door's hinges echoed in the empty courtyard. As she leaned over to grab her briefcase, she placed a hand over her heart, knowing that her body blocked Sam's view of the gesture. Her heart was still racing and showed no signs of slowing down soon. She felt her cheeks burn as she remembered their ardent embrace and how she had pounced on him the way she had. She couldn't believe she had done that! What was happening to her? She let out a big sigh. Well, what's done is done, she thought to herself. She'd just have to be more careful around Sam in the future.
Josie stood and turned, shoving the door closed with her bottom. She strode back to Sam's car and opened the door. Then, she leaned onto the seat with her knees and braced herself against the backrest with one hand. Next, she reached between the two front seats to place her briefcase on the back seat next to her jacket. Then, she righted herself in the seat and sat down, closing the door behind her.
Sam looked up in greeting when he heard Josie's door open, but then quickly averted his eyes as she leaned dangerously close to him while reaching into the back seat to deposit her briefcase. This time, her blouse had gaped open far enough for him to see the white lace that trimmed the top of her bra…as well as notice the fact that she filled out that bra quite nicely, thank you. He kept his eyes trained on the control console, setting the vent to blow cold air directly on his face. Lord knows he needed a cooling down right now.
Josie turned to Sam and said, "Okay, I'm ready now." Sam nodded and put the car into drive. They drove in silence for a few moments before Josie, trying to regain their earlier conversation track, asked, "So, when did you first realize you were really attracted to me? That is, if you don't mind my asking…"
Sam thought for a moment as he drove and then asked, "Do you mean when I first suspected, or when I really knew?"
"When you really knew," Josie answered.
"I'd have to say…" Sam paused, searching his memory, "…that it was probably the night we rode together on the Ferris wheel."
Josie laughed a little and then admitted, "That was it for me, too…"
"Although I had suspected it much earlier…"
"Yes. But I refused to admit it was anything more than a passing phase, a crush of some sort…"
"Exactly," Sam agreed. "But that night, I found that I couldn't deny the reality of my feelings any longer. I mean, I literally jumped at the chance to be sitting next to you in that bucket, to be the one to make you smile again. I didn't even think of the consequences until the carny was fastening the safety bar. Then I remember thinking to myself, 'My God, Sam, are you nuts!?' But I had committed myself, and I would be damned if I was going to stand idly by while those kids picked on you like that."
"I think what did it for me was realizing that the attraction between us was mutual. That made it more real somehow. Because I figured out very soon that you had gotten on the ride only for my sake. You were terrified, poor thing." Josie reached over and patted Sam's hand comfortingly, much as she had that night when she discovered his fear of heights.
Sam continued, "You took my mind off my fears soon enough. I was amazed at how easy it was to talk to you, how comfortable I felt around you. It was like I had known you for years. And then, with all the thoughtful questions you asked and insight you showed, I couldn't help but feel that you were somehow different from anyone I had ever met before. I sensed a kinship between us, even then. That somehow, I knew you would understand me in ways that no one else ever had."
Josie nodded. "Yes, I felt that, too. It was pretty scary and exciting at the same time."
"Uh-huh. You can say that again…I thought you were one of my students, remember? Do you recall that comment I made to you about guys lining up around the block for you when you were my age?" Sam inquired.
"How could I forget?" Josie sighed dreamily.
"Yeah, well, that was when my attraction to you really reared its ugly head…so to speak." Sam grinned at Josie. "After I made that statement, I began to realize how true it was, and it hurt. When I imagined you with anybody else, it made me feel like I had a cannonball in my stomach. I realized that I wanted to be the one with you…and I didn't want to wait until you were my age. And then I started noticing the small things, like the way our legs were pressed against each other in the seat, and your soft weight of your hand on my arm. I knew then that I was in big trouble. As much as it made no sense at all, here I was, falling in love with one of my own students. And what was worse was that I was practically engaged to another woman. I don't think I slept a wink that night. Every time I closed my eyes, I kept seeing your face: your shy, sweet smile, your twinkling eyes, the way the breeze blew your hair around, circling your face like a halo."
Josie blushed self-consciously. "Are you sure you're not a writer?"
Sam chuckled and quipped, "I'm a man of many talents."
Josie lowered her head to allow the drape of her hair to hide the blush creeping up her cheeks. She couldn't help but think about a few of his "talents" he had shown earlier… "Well, if it's any consolation, I didn't sleep much that night, either. I kept replaying our conversation in my head. I kept remembering the way you looked at me, and the way it made me feel. And I prayed that I was right about sensing a mutual attraction, almost as much as I prayed I was wrong. It was so scary."
Sam seemed very far away, lost in thought. Josie touched his arm, "Sam?"
"Oh, sorry…I did hear you…I was just thinking about a phone conversation I had with Abby about you."
Josie was surprised. He'd already talked about her to Abby? "Really? When?"
"Well, this morning actually, but that's not the time I'm thinking of…I talked to her the night before the prom. You know, the day that we were sitting on that bench in the school courtyard and I almost kissed you?"
"So, I did read that right, then. That was what I had thought, but the moment came and went so quickly, I wasn't sure if I had imagined it," Josie responded.
"Ah, yes, I was definitely about to kiss you," Sam revealed. "Anyway…I was up really late that night; a habit that I was getting used to since falling in love with you. I was so torn. I hated myself for being attracted to you. I knew I was betraying the honor and privilege of my profession. Yet I found that, even knowing how wrong it was, I still couldn't stop loving you; in fact, my feelings continued to grow for you daily. By then, I had already broken things off with Lara, but I just couldn't decide what I was going to do about you. I was at an impasse."
"Abby called me on a hunch. It was about 1:30 in the morning here. She said she had a feeling something was going on with me and wanted to know what was up. Until that point, no one knew about my feelings for you. But thanks to Abby, I was finally able to open up and get everything off my chest."
"She was shocked at my confession, but even then, she was really great. She told me that if I was really sure that you were the one, I should let you know about my feelings and let the chips fall as they would. Otherwise, she said, I would always regret not going after what I really wanted. I quickly realized she was right."
"So, I made a decision, certainly a life changing one. I decided that I wanted the chance to be with you, no matter what the cost. And I made up my mind that I was going to tell you at the prom. It just seemed like the perfect setting; a magical place where maybe, just maybe, dreams could come true."
"Yes, it certainly did feel that way. You were so handsome…" Josie recalled, smiling dreamily. "It was like every other person in the place faded from view when I saw you up on that stage."
"I had a similar reaction when I saw you in that dress. I am surprised you didn't feel my eyes on you all night, because I couldn't stop watching you. You were simply stunning; by far, you outclassed everyone else in the room," Sam praised.
"I still can't believe they voted me prom queen," said Josie, shaking her head in amazement. "I thought I had to be dreaming, especially when it meant that the best looking guy in the room would be the one to crown me…" she glowed at Sam, "And the way you looked at me when you did…wow!"
"As the night wore on, I found it harder and harder to hide my feelings for you. I'm actually amazed that I made it through that ceremony without giving myself away to everyone in the room. As it was, I had to leave the stage before the end of the King and Queen's dance. I couldn't stand watching you dance with Guy for one more moment; I had to get out of there."
Josie didn't remember that detail. "Really? Why?"
"Well, you looked like you were having such a good time with him: you were laughing and beaming that gorgeous smile at him, and then you rested your cheek against his and you had this faraway look in your eyes… It killed me to think that maybe you were attracted to him and that maybe I had imagined your feelings for me. I was pretty much a basket case at that point," Sam confessed.
"The reason I had that faraway look, Sam," Josie explained, "is because I was thinking how much I wanted you to be the one holding me close and telling me how amazing I was, not him. The victory of my transformation from the ultimate loser into the prom queen felt awfully hollow, because I had finally realized that it didn't matter what they thought of me. It only mattered what I thought of me. I was done with the games and the intrigue of being Josie Geller, high school student. All I wanted was to be myself…and to be with you."
Sam smiled gently at Josie for a moment before turning his attention back to the road. "That's exactly how I felt, like I was so close to my dream, but couldn't quite touch it, afraid that it would disappear like a cloud of smoke and leave me with nothing."
"I was nervous as hell approaching you after that dance with Guy. I wasn't even sure if I'd be able to speak until I looked into your eyes. Then the words just came to me," he admitted.
"Yeah, well, I wish I could say the same," Josie returned wryly. "Sure…open mouth, insert foot…Gee, maybe I should tell the guy of my dreams that he looks like a prom queen!" She shook her head in disgust. "A great comeback line, don't you think?"
Smiling, Sam responded, "After which I followed up with the much more intelligent discourse on 'penguin suits'…and then the very elegant stuttering and gesturing toward the dance floor…"
"Some credit to the English language we were," joked Josie. "An English teacher and a journalist having the world's most inane conversation."
They both laughed long and hard at their own awkwardness. Then Sam continued, "But when I held you in my arms, I knew instantly that I had been right about us all along. We belonged together; I could feel it. Your asking me about Lara and then the look you gave me when I told you we had broken up proved it to me. I knew then that I was going to tell you what I was feeling for you."
"You didn't have to tell me, because I could see it on your face, in your eyes. It was the most wonderful, frightening, thrilling feeling, knowing at last that you felt the same way about me that I felt about you. I just wish that night hadn't ended so badly…" Josie drifted off wistfully.
"I'm not. I mean, believing that you had betrayed me that callously, and feeling that magnitude of pain is not something I'd ever want to do again, trust me. But sometimes things happen the way they do for a reason. Almost losing you has made me cherish you and our relationship that much more. And, through your article, I was able to see you – and love you—for who you are much more clearly."
Josie studied Sam for a long moment. He could feel her gaze on him, but he didn't dare make eye contact for fear he might just drive off the road. He was always powerfully attracted to her eyes and had a tendency to get lost in them…not good if you are the driver. He pulled around the corner and started to slow the car to pull up in front of Josie's apartment.
Sam turned to Josie and suggested, "Why don't you go and unlock the door and get some lights turned on? I'll gather up the stuff in here and be in in a minute…"
Josie shrugged and said, "Sure. I'll see you inside." She opened her car door, and then opened the fence gate to enter the apartment walkway.
Sam watched Josie's womanly sway as she walked up the path. Damn, but she looked good in those pants, he realized. It did not help that she had an arc of dust on her bottom where she had used it to shove Bambi's passenger door shut. His eyes were glued to that dirt smudge. He wondered idly if he could get away with touching her there if he used the pretense of cleaning her off. Catching himself, he shook his head repentantly and sighed.
It was going to be a long night.
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