To Be Or Not To Be, Part Five
By Jen

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* * *

After Josie and Sam went mini golfing together that Saturday, Josie was finally able to confidently tell herself that Sam felt the same way about her that she did about him. She was completely certain that he had almost kissed her on her front porch that day, but, for whatever reason, he hadn't. She assumed that it was because he was just as shy and nervous as she was.

Unfortunately, something changed in Sam after that day. Josie saw him at practice on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday, but he didn't say a word to her. She was under the impression that he was avoiding her for some reason because he always seemed to sit as far away from her as possible in the circle of chairs that Mr. Peterson had set up on the stage. Maybe she was just imagining this, but somehow she didn't think so. He wouldn't even so much as look at her.

Josie was beside herself, wondering what to do after this odd turn of events. "I don't get it, Angela," she told her friend on Friday at lunch as they sat together under the willow tree in the courtyard. "It's like he doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. What did I do wrong? I don't understand."

Angela could see that Josie was on the verge of tears, and she hated to see her friend looking so miserable. She put a comforting arm around her. "I don't understand it either, Jos," she confessed. "Men are pond scum!"

Josie shook her head sadly. "Not Sam. He's�perfect�"

In spite of herself, Angela laughed. Then, seeing Josie's glare, she stopped and said, "I'm sorry, Jos�No one is perfect, not even Sam. I really hate to see you like this. There's an easy way to solve this problem, you know�"

Josie looked at her hopefully. "There is? What? Tell me!"

"Well, I'll talk to Sam for you, find out what's up his ass!"

"Angela�"

"Okay, okay, sorry. I know he's your prince charming and all, but it really pisses me off when someone hurts a friend of mine, you know?" Angela stood up then. "You know what? I'm going to go look for him now. Meet me by my locker after school and I'll let you know what I find out, okay?" Josie nodded, watching as Angela walked away.

Angela walked around the courtyard, scanning the small groups of people for Sam. Not finding him, she went into the cafeteria. Searching all the tables, she still couldn't find him, but she did see Cody throwing a brown paper bag in the trashcan. She hurried to catch up with him. "Hi," she said.

"Um�hey," Cody replied, a confused look upon his face.

Seeing his dilemma, Angela rolled her eyes and said, "I'm Angela Dawson, a friend of Josie Geller's."

At this, a smile of recognition appeared on Cody's face. "Oh, yeah, that's right. Sorry. I knew you looked familiar, but I couldn't remember where I'd seen you before. So�what's up?"

"Well, actually, I was hoping you could help me," Angela began. "I need to talk to Sam. Do you know where he is?"

"Coulson? I guess he's probably at his locker. Do you want me to show you where it is?"

"Are you going that way?"

"Yeah, actually, I am. My locker is just a little ways down from his. Come on, I'll show you." Cody and Angela walked out of the cafeteria together. Once they turned the corner, Angela spotted Sam sitting on the floor in front of the lockers reading a book. "Ah, there he is," Cody declared.

"Thanks. I'll take it from here." Angela skipped ahead of Cody and hurried to meet Sam. She stood over him now, and he looked up. "Hi, Sam," she said.

Sam slowly stood up, closing the book he'd been reading. "Uh�hi�Angela, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah, that's me�Josie's friend." She paused for a moment, watching the expression on his face. To her annoyance, it didn't change at all, not even when she'd emphasized Josie's name. He looked like he was waiting for her to get to the point, so she continued, "So I guess you know why I'm here, don't you?" even though at this point she wasn't at all certain that he did.

"Um�Actually, no, I don't�" he confessed.

Angela heaved a long, aggravated sigh. She was tired of being polite. It obviously wasn't getting her anywhere anyway. "Look, Coulson," she began, trying to sound as angry as possible, "what's your problem?"

Sam still looked truly perplexed. "My problem? What problem?"

"Oh, lord," Angela muttered. "I have to explain everything, don't I?" Then, raising her voice again, she looked him right in the eye. "Josie feels terrible right now, you know, and it's all because of you! Don't you even care? I mean, you take her out on Saturday and don't talk to her for a week. I mean, honestly, what is she supposed to think? She doesn't understand it, and frankly, neither do I, so what's your problem?"

Angela had been so wrapped up in yelling at Sam that she didn't notice when he hung his head sadly. Then, when she had finished, he made a tight fist with his right hand and angrily punched his locker. Before either of them could say anything, a teacher who had been walking down the hall stopped and said, "Hey, young man, take it easy! That's school property, you know!"

Sam turned around, embarrassed. "Sorry, sir," he said quietly.

The teacher nodded his head. "All right. Just see that it doesn't happen again, y'hear?"

Sam nodded and the teacher continued walking down the hallway. Once he'd gone, Angela turned to Sam, surprised by his sudden act of aggression.

"Sam, are you alright?" she asked, placing her hand on his shoulder.

"Oh, I am so stupid!" He slapped himself hard across the forehead and then looked at her again. "I never meant to hurt Josie. That's the last thing I wanted to do."

"But you have been avoiding her, haven't you?" Angela asked.

Sam nodded. "Yes, but not because I don't like her�It's the opposite, actually. I've never met a girl like her before. I love the way I feel when I'm with her. I'm always so happy when I'm around her, but then there's the downside�"

"Which is�?" she probed.

Sam fidgeted a little bit before answering her. He scratched behind his ear, shoved both hands in the pockets of his jeans, took them out and folded his arms across his chest, then finally let his arms fall at his sides. "I get so nervous!" he exclaimed. "I'm always afraid I'm going to do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing. And on Saturday I asked her a really stupid, horrible question. She probably told you about it�"

"Do you mean when you asked her what happened to her? Why she went through this sudden transformation?" Angela asked.

He nodded. "Yeah�that�She said it was okay, but I still felt awful. I don't want to mess up like that again because I like her so much, so I've been avoiding her."

Suddenly, Angela no longer felt angry with him. On the contrary, she was starting to realize that he really was a great guy, just like Josie had said. The only problem was that he and Josie both had the same downfall. They were both hopelessly, painfully shy. "Well, you know, Sam," she began gently, "by avoiding her like this, all you're really doing is hurting her more. Why don't you talk to her about it? I know she'd understand."

Sam shook his head. "I don't think I can. It's�kind of embarrassing, you know?"

"So you're just going to continue to ignore her then, to throw away something that could be really good for both of you?"

Sam shook his head. "I don't want to do that either�If�If I wrote her a note, would you give it to her for me? I think it might be easier to tell her how I feel if I write it down."

Angela nodded. "All right. I think I can handle that."

Sam sat back down again and Angela stood there and waited while he wrote the note. He handed it to her just before the bell rang, signaling that it was time to go to class. "You can read it, too�if you want," Sam told her. "So you'll give it to her then?"

Angela nodded. "Of course."

He smiled. "Good. I hope this works. I'm glad you came to talk to me�or�I guess�more like yell at me."

Angela chuckled. "Sorry about that. Well, I'd better be getting to class. See you later, Sam."

He nodded and Angela walked away. Once she was sitting in her next class, she unfolded the note and read it:

Dear Josie,

Sam

* * *

When Angela handed Sam's note to Josie outside Angela's locker after school that day, Josie asked, "What's this?"

"Sam asked me to give it to you," Angela explained.

"Well, what did he say to you?" Josie probed, not yet unfolding the note. "What did you say to him? You weren't too harsh, were you?"

Angela laughed. "Well, maybe a little bit, but I apologized to him for it. You're right, Jos. He's a good guy. I approve."

Josie giggled, blushing a little. "Well, thank you for that," she said. "So, aren't you going to tell me what happened?"

"Everything you need to know is in that note. Now read it already!" Angela waited while Josie slowly unfolded the paper and read the note. When she was done, she stuck it in her pocket and looked up at Angela.

"Why couldn't he just tell me that himself?" Josie asked her.

Angela shrugged. "He said he would be too embarrassed. But you should call him, Josie, and tonight, I'd say."

Josie nodded. "Thanks, Angela. I'd better get going. Rob has baseball practice today, so I don't have to worry about driving him home. See you later."

Angela nodded. "See you."

As Josie went through the front doors to the parking lot, she saw Sam leaning against his car in one of the first few rows. Pulling her backpack over both shoulders, she jogged up to where he stood. "Hi, Sam," she said, smiling at him.

"Oh, hey, Josie," he replied, shielding his eyes from the sun with his right hand. He shook his head, laughing. "You know, I really should look into buying some sunglasses. I can't see a thing!"

Josie laughed, sensing the tension building between them. "What are you doing, standing out here?" she asked.

"I don't know. I guess I was�kinda hoping I'd see you. I saw you talking to Angela inside. I didn't know if you were going to come out here right away, but I had hoped�Did you get my note?"

Josie nodded. "Yes. Thank you�"

"Listen, Josie, I really am sorry," he said, a little abruptly. "About�about everything."

"Oh, that's okay�I'm just glad you weren't mad at me or something. I thought�I didn't know what to think."

Sam shook his head. "I know. I was stupid. Luckily, Angela talked some sense into me�Hey, are you in any sort of hurry to get home?" She shook her head. "Well�I was thinking� There's this park where my brother Matt plays baseball�It's about a block away from my house. They have lots of trees and benches and�stuff. Do you want to�you know�go there�and�talk�or�something?"

Josie nodded happily. "That would be wonderful," she agreed. "You mean�now?"

"Yeah�if that's okay. Is your car locked?"

"Yeah. And, as usual, it's in the back of the lot."

"Well, how about this� We can go there�to the park�in my car, and when we're done I'll drive you back to your car. Is that�okay?"

Josie nodded again. "Yeah, that's fine." She walked to the driver's side of his car, seeing that the seat was covered with clothes.

"Sorry about the mess," Sam muttered, embarrassed. He reached over and pulled the clothes off the front seat and flung them in the back so she could sit down.

"That's okay," Josie murmured. The two of them buckled up and then Sam turned the key in the ignition. The stereo was turned up really loud and Sam hastily lunged to the volume knob, turning it down. "No, leave it," Josie insisted, her fingers brushing gently against his arm. "I like this song."

"Well, I was just going to turn it down a little," Sam explained, grinning at her.

"Oh." She looked away for a moment, embarrassed. She had thought that he was going to change the station on the radio. The song that was playing was "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns N' Roses.

"Actually, I really like this song too," Sam admitted as he pulled out of the parking lot.

Josie turned toward the window, tapping her fingers on her knee in time with the music. Then, letting her guard down a little, she began to sing along to the words of the second verse, "She's got eyes of the bluest skies/As if they thought of rain I hate to look into those eyes/And see an ounce of pain/Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place/ Where as a child I'd hide/And pray for the thunder/And the rain/To quietly pass me by�"

"You have a really pretty voice, Josie," Sam whispered.

Josie turned to him, her cheeks turning red. "Thank you�"

It took about ten minutes for them to reach the park. It was alongside a residential street and there was a small strip of blacktop where cars could park. Just beyond that lot was a baseball field and beside that, a small wooded area with three small benches in various places and a stream running through the middle of it all. The two of them got out of the car and Josie followed Sam to sit on the bench closest to them, which also happened to be right next to the stream, facing the baseball field. "So," Sam began, folding his hands together in his lap, "what do you think?"

"It's so pretty and quiet here," Josie replied. "I don't think I've ever been here before."

"It's one of my favorite spots. I used to play little league at that ball field when I was a little kid too. My house is just down that street a little ways." He pointed to a street down the road a bit that branched off from the road the ball field was on. "I used to want to be a professional baseball player�and then it was hockey. I still like to play hockey, but mostly just in the winter."

"I didn't know you played hockey," Josie remarked.

Sam nodded. "Yep. When I first started, I was terrible, but for some reason I really wanted to be good at it. So my dad got me this helmet signed by Gordie Howe, and it was like magic�As soon as I put it on I was so much better. I guess you could say that it's my good luck charm. Sometimes I wish I could wear it all the time, you know, but I think it would look kind of silly�Am I talking too much?"

Josie shook her head profusely and put her hand on his, but only for a brief moment. "No, not at all. I like to listen to you. I don't really know much about hockey, but I have heard a little bit about Gordie Howe�I'll have to come watch you play sometime."

"I would like that. Of course, it's the off-season right now, so it'll be awhile."

"Well, I will come and watch you when you have a game. That's a promise."

"Thanks�"

Both of them grew quiet then for a moment and Josie felt like she should say something to end the silence. Although she wasn't consciously thinking about it, she heard herself ask, "Have you ever had a girlfriend before?"

Sam seemed startled by the question. He didn't say anything for a moment and then, finally, he shook his head. "No, I haven't. Cody and the other guys always pick on me about that, since they've all had at least a couple before, but�I really didn't care. I was always too busy for a girlfriend, or, at least, that's what I told them. But I guess it was really more that there wasn't anyone that interested me that much�That's a rather long answer to your question, I guess."

Josie smiled at him. "That surprises me. It really does."

"Oh? Why is that?"

Josie found herself placing her hand on his knee, but this time she didn't remove it. "Well, you're such a nice guy," she said.

Sam laughed. "Well, maybe that's my problem. I always thought girls liked their men to be a little more 'dangerous,' you know. Cody always says that I'm about as dangerous as a teddy bear."

"Well, not all girls like 'dangerous' guys," Josie insisted. "That's ridiculous. I like you just the way you are. I wouldn't want you to change."

Sam cleared his throat. "Um�thanks. Well, what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Have you ever had a boyfriend?"

Josie shook her head sadly. "No, I haven't."

"See, now that surprises me. I�really like you a lot, Josie. I've never known anyone like you before."

Josie shook her head, blushing. She couldn't look him in the eye anymore. "You're just saying that," she insisted.

"No, I'm not. Josie�" He gently placed his hand on her cheek, causing her to look at him. "I really mean it," he whispered. He slowly leaned toward her, tilting his head to the side. In the next moment, his lips found hers in a soft, sweet kiss.

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