* * *
Even though it was bitterly cold, Sam felt his palms start to sweat. Without even realizing it, he stared off in Josie's direction as his thoughts took over. He wasn't quite sure now how it had happened, but the safe haven he'd created for himself had, in the blink of an eye, become his prison. Instead of days of quiet solitude that he'd planned to use to purge all traces of Josie Geller from his heart, now he'd be spending every waking moment in the foreseeable future trapped in a tiny three-room cabin with her.
'So much for working her out of my system,' he thought. Somehow Sam knew that after these next few days, there would be no way he could ever forget her.
As Josie reached the passenger side of the Blazer, she suddenly felt Sam's eyes burning a hole into her back. Turning, Josie noticed that instead of looking at her, he seemed to be looking right through her. He appeared trapped in his thoughts, and by the look on his face; they weren't happy ones. In fact, he looked like a man who had just been given a death sentence.
Hurt and annoyed by his obvious revulsion to their predicament, Josie glared at Sam and hissed, "Sam!"
Sam didn't respond.
"Sam!" she snapped again, a little louder this time.
The urgent irritation bubbling in Josie's voice broke through Sam's reverie. Shaking his head as though waking from a dream, his eyes connected with hers, a bit dazed. "Huh?"
Josie glanced behind Sam and noticed the sheriff watching their exchange with barely concealed interest. Embarrassed at the scene they were making, she said waspishly, a blush reddening her cheeks, "Are you coming?"
The moment seemed almost surreal to Sam, but he recovered enough to silently nod his head and spur his legs into action.
Satisfied, Josie nodded once in response and then opened the passenger side door, pushing her belongings along the bench seat and climbing in. Turning, she struggled to pull the creaky door shut. Once inside, Josie knelt on the seat and placed her computer bag and overnight suitcase on the floor behind her seat.
As Sam approached the car, he looked up through the windshield. His mouth dropped open a little and he just stared at the enticing view of Josie's behind swaying as she leaned her petite body over the back of the bench seat. Clapping his mouth shut abruptly, he closed his eyes, scolding himself mentally, saying, "Get a grip, Sam! Just�stay angry with her and you'll be fine."
Sam didn't even want to consider what might happen to both his heart and his psyche if he wasn't successful at keeping that mental barrier between himself and Josie in place.
Josie was just settling back down into a sitting position when Sam yanked open his door, using more force than was necessary, making Josie look up at him quizzically. Sam barely acknowledged her presence before turning the key, which was still in the ignition. He gunned the engine with impatient aggression, earning him another questioning look from Josie. She made a show of retightening her seatbelt and clutching her purse closer to her chest, but she didn't say a word.
Hell, with the scowl that Sam knew must be on his face, she probably didn't dare, and that was all right with him. The less they said to each other, the better off they would be, in his opinion.
Putting the Blazer into gear, Sam maneuvered slowly around all the vehicles blocking the road, waving a hand in farewell to Will Parker as they passed.
Will raised a hand in return and started down the street, watching the Blazer growing smaller and smaller as the seconds ticked by. There was something about Josie Geller that made him wonder. Even though she was from Chicago, and apparently had never been in Oswego before in her life, he had the feeling he'd seen her someplace before. And he knew that he hadn't heard about her from Sam�
Sam. From his strange reaction to the situation as a whole, Will knew there was unfinished business between Sam and Josie and wondered what it might be. He'd never seen Sam so agitated; usually Sam was incredibly laid back and friendly�but not with this woman. With Josie, he'd been uptight�even borderline hostile at times. But yet, he'd come over to the ambulance to see if she was all right and then made the mind-boggling offer to put her up at his cabin through the storm. Will smiled at that memory, because it seemed that Sam himself was as surprised as he and Josie had been at the offer.
Will was not the type that normally meddled into others' affairs without cause, but he had to admit, his curiosity was piqued. Heading back toward the squad car, Will climbed in and fastened his seat belt. While it seemed that the report on this accident could be considered a formality in this case, he knew that he had the means of finding out a bit more about the puzzling Josie. And in this situation, he figured he could use every detail he could get. The relationship between Sam and Josie was certainly a mystery, but then solving mysteries was what he liked to do best; the minute he got back to the office, he would start working on finding out the answer.
* * *
The silence in the car was deafening.
Josie sat stiffly in her seat, nervously clutching her purse to her chest so hard that her fingertips were white. The back of her head was still sore and her temples throbbed in pain. She stared out the passenger side window at the endless row of pine trees, their branches all weighed down with snow. Under other circumstances, Josie would have thought it beautiful; like a living Christmas card, but at the moment she was way too tense to notice.
Glancing over at Sam, she could tell by his clenched jaw and unwavering attention on the road that he was still upset.
Trying to break the ice a little, Josie cleared her throat, earning her an icy glare from Sam for her trouble.
So she waited. But finally, Josie couldn't take the pressure building up in the thick quiet between them. She gathered up enough courage to begin, "Sam, I�"
But Sam cut her off before she could get two words into what she was about to say. "Don't," he said scathingly, while waves of hatred emanated from him.
Josie nearly jumped from his brutal tone, and turned to study his profile. Sam's eyes glittered dangerously, and his jaw was set in a stubborn line. Still, she dared ask, "Don't what?"
"Don't bother apologizing," Sam spat, not even bothering to spare a glance at Josie. "The time for that is way past, and truthfully, I'm not interested in what you have to say anymore, so don't waste your breath."
Sam's rough words cut Josie deeply and she found herself blinking back tears. After all, this was the man she loved, and it was quite clear he couldn't bear even the sight of her in return. She took a few deep breaths in order to keep from sobbing�but then Josie's eyes began to narrow in anger from his abrupt attack.
Frankly, she was getting sick of Sam's treatment of her. While it might be true that she had hurt him in the past, she had certainly done nothing today to deserve this kind of reaction. And Josie was not the hesitant mouse that she used to be. Dealing with the long, lonely months after Sam had walked out of her life had forced her to become strong; to be her own advocate, since it was clear she would never have someone to do it for her. Even though she still missed Sam terribly, she was strong: stronger than she'd ever imagined being, and she wanted him to know it.
Refusing to show Sam even an inkling that he may have hurt her, she sat up ramrod straight in the seat, lifting her head proudly. Then she turned to him, her voice dripping with disdain, and replied coolly, "For your information, that was not what I was going to say. Now, if you'll kindly refrain from being an ignorant ass for a moment, I'll tell you what I was going to say�"
Sam turned to look at Josie briefly, waiting�and even a bit surprised at her composed and dignified response. This was not the reaction he'd been expecting.
With a big sigh, Josie said, "I was simply going to say thank you�"
"For what?" Sam asked, surprised.
"For taking me in�for putting me up when it's clearly obvious that you can't stand the idea of even being in the same state with me, let alone stuck in a cabin through a snowstorm together�" Josie explained, pain and scorn coloring her voice, even through her bravado.
Sam felt instantly abashed. Josie had swallowed her pride in thanking him, even after he'd just verbally attacked her. He could at least do the same.
"Josie�uh�Look, I'm sorry about jumping all over you like that. It's just that�well, this isn't exactly the ideal situation�for either of us," Sam began, glancing at her before turning back to the road. "We're going to have to make the best of things for the next few days�and it would be much easier, in my opinion, if we could leave the past in the past and just deal with now."
Josie considered Sam's request for a long moment. As much as she really wanted to know the reasons for Sam's behavior so many months ago, Josie realized that Sam's suggestion probably made more sense in their current circumstances. If they were going to be stuck with each other for a while, they might as well make things as pleasant as possible.
Finally, she looked up and connected with Sam's eyes and nodded. "Okay�if you think it's best, we�we can just pretend the past doesn't exist."
Relieved, Sam agreed. "Yeah, I think that's best."
The rest of the ride back to the cabin was quiet, both of them retreating into their own thoughts.
* * *
Will Parker sighed as he pulled his squad car into its parking space in front of Oswego's combination Sheriff/Fire Department building. It was shaping up to be a long day and night for him�maybe even a long week. Even though he got off duty at four, as Sheriff, he would still have to be involved in all major decisions during the blizzard. That could make for some very long nights.
Once more, his friend Sam came to mind�that and the bizarre interaction between him and Josie Geller. Again as he thought her, he felt somehow as if he should know that name.
Reaching across the seat, he grabbed his clipboard with the paperwork from the accident on it and popped open his door. Slamming it shut behind him, he strode up the front steps and entered the brick building.
"Hey, Cap�how'd it go with that accident? Anyone hurt?" asked Mary, the station's dispatcher.
"Everyone's pretty much fine, Mar, thanks. The woman bumped her head pretty good, but other than that, she was damn lucky."
Mary nodded her encouragement, hinting with her twinkling brown eyes that she'd like more details.
But Will wasn't in the mood to oblige her. "Sorry, Mar�no gossip today. I want to get this paperwork done so I can get home to Meredith and the kids before the storm hits."
Mary stared after Will, who was deep in thought as he headed down the hallway toward his office. She was good at picking up on undertones and right now, her antennae were beeping full force. Will preoccupied by something, that was for sure�she just wished she knew what it was.
* * *
As the Blazer crested the last rise in the road, Josie looked up from her hands that were twisting nervously together in her lap. Before her the driveway curled to end before a small, quaint log cabin with Sam's little black Jetta parked out in front. Behind it, she could see an inlet of Lake Michigan through a clearing between the snow-covered evergreens. As Sam pulled the car to a stop, Josie continued to stare off in the distance, out toward the lake. Without even realizing she was speaking aloud, Josie murmured, "It's so peaceful here. I can see why you would like it."
Sam turned to stare in surprise at the unknowing Josie. Her reaction was so different from when he had brought Lara here.
'Ha!' he laughed to himself. That trip had been a disaster. Sam had planned a romantic getaway for he and Lara last summer, thinking that the time away would help them recapture some of their previous affection for each other. The magic of that weekend had lasted precisely three seconds: just long enough for Lara to get dirt on her $300 Gucci shoes. Once she'd found out the cabin didn't even have a telephone, she'd insisted on turning around and going right back to "civilization."
However, Sam had always loved the rustic beauty of the cabin and its surroundings and it was plain to see that Josie did, too. The wonder on her face brought back memories of Josie standing in front of his senior English Lit class, reading her paper on Rosalind and Orlando. He had been transfixed then, just as he felt now.
Forcing himself back to the moment, he said to Josie, breaking her reverie, "Well, we should probably get inside."
Josie turned to look at Sam blankly for a moment before nodding in agreement. She unfastened her seat belt and then turned to reach behind the seat to recover her bags. Sam's hand on her arm stopped her. Josie looked up at him in question.
"I'll get those," Sam said, gently pulling her hand back before reaching over the bench seat for the bags himself.
"No, really, I can�" Josie started, speaking to his back as he retrieved her computer case and overnight bag.
"No," Sam said firmly, turning back around with bags in hand, "Josie, you were in an accident today, and you did bump your head. For all we know, you could have a concussion. I'm not letting you carry anything you don't need to."
Sam's sense of chivalry (albeit belated, since she'd carried her bags to the car just fine�) made Josie smile just a bit. Maybe not everything about him had changed� Jokingly she said, "Yes, doctor."
"Josie�" Sam began, slipping into 'teacher mode', "I'm serious. You really should�"
"Relax, Sam," Josie interrupted. "I was kidding." Then she opened her door and slid down gently to the ground to minimize the jarring of her head.
Sam followed her lead. Josie carefully negotiated her way along the snow- covered path to the door of the cabin. When she reached the door, she looked back at Sam in question.
"Go ahead," he responded to her unspoken request.
Nodding, Josie opened the door and stepped a few feet inside. Looking around, she saw a rather large living room, just the kind she would have imagined: a large double window on the same wall the door was on, a long wooden bench whose seat lifted to stow things beneath lined most of the area below the window. Wide, wooden planks covered the floor and thick, exposed beams crossed above her head. Off to her left, a huge old, oak bookcase filled to the brim with books stood along the back wall, and an overstuffed sofa and a side table between two chairs filled the area in front of the huge stone hearth. In the space on the floor between the sofa and chairs lay a large, thick sheepskin rug. Beyond the sofa were two open doorways along the wall facing her. The left doorway led to a homey kitchen with the cabinets and a counter that took up the whole back wall, a small table in the center and an old cast iron cooking stove off to the left side of the room. The right doorway led into what seemed to be, from Josie's perspective, a bedroom. She could see a large dresser along the wall of the room that adjoined the kitchen, but from her angle, that was it. Josie turned to find Sam watching her intently.
A twinge of blush touched Josie's cheeks when she realized she'd inadvertently left Sam standing in the doorway, unable to enter the room far enough to even shut the door. "Sorry," she apologized, moving aside so that Sam could skirt around her. "I was just�looking around. It's�nice. Cozy," she said.
Sam gave Josie a short nod and then placed her bags on the bench near the door. Turning to go back outside, he said stiffly, "Well, make yourself comfortable�I've got some supplies to get out of the back of the Blazer."
Josie took another step into the room, but then stopped short as she suddenly remembered something. Facing Sam's retreating back, she called, "Sam?"
With a sigh, he turned back around. He'd been hoping to get back outside and put his thoughts in order. Right now, he felt oddly off-kilter�and he didn't like the feeling. "Yes?"
"Um�May I use the phone? I need to let someone know where I am and give the paper a status report of my story�" Josie stammered on as Sam's expression quickly darkened, "I�I wouldn't ask except�my cell phone was badly damaged in the accident. It's unusable."
"The cabin doesn't have a phone," Sam coldly informed her before turning on his heel and stalking off.
Josie stared after him in wounded confusion. Trying to keep up with Sam's quicksilver emotions was starting to make her head spin. Now what had she done?
Sam stomped off toward the Blazer, mentally fuming. 'Damned if she isn't just like Lara after all,' he thought heatedly. 'Her and that damned job of hers.' Nothing else mattered to Josie but her precious newspaper! It was no wonder that she had been able to just blithely use him for her own purposes. Her emotional entanglement with him, 'if it had been real at all,' he snorted, was purely accidental. He was sure of that.
Sam walked around to the back of the vehicle, tossing open the back door viciously, letting it bang against the side roughly. Packing his arms as full as he could with supplies, he marched back to the cabin, shoved open the door roughly with his foot and unceremoniously dumped his handful onto the bench next to Josie's things.
Sam went back out and retrieved the remainder of the items from the back, slamming the back door of the Blazer shut with his right elbow. Entering the cabin again and kicking the door closed with his foot, he put the rest of the supplies on the floor and turned to face Josie again. Other than backing up another step or two into the room, Josie seemed glued to the spot, watching him with a touch of fear in her eyes.
Sam looked Josie up and down. She was dressed very much like Lara used to dress: black business suit with black heels�and it was utterly useless in this weather. "Well? Are you going to change? You aren't really planning on keeping warm in that outfit the next few days, are you?"
Josie looked down at herself in stunned silence for a moment before replying, "I�I don't have anything else�just this and another suit."
Again, this was reminiscent of something Lara would have said and done; but coming from Josie, for some reason it annoyed him ten times more. Walking up to her, Sam put his hands on his hips and glowered down at her. "What kind of complete idiot doesn't have enough common sense to pack any warm clothes in the middle of winter!?" Sam pointed at Josie's feet, deriding, "A fat lot of good those heels will do you in three feet of snow!"
Hackles raised, Josie also put her hands on her hips and leaned in toward Sam, barking, "Well, if I'd known I was going to be stuck in a storm, of course I would have packed warm clothes! However, this was supposed to be just a simple overnight business trip, not survivalist training camp!"
The two of them stood for a long moment, each glaring at the other, chests heaving from angry exertion. Finally, Sam took a step back and turned to go into the bedroom. Over his shoulder, he said to Josie in a sullen manner, "I'll be right back�"
Moments later, he returned, carrying a pair of snow boots, heavy blue jeans and an oversized sweater. Holding them out to Josie, he said in a more neutral tone, "Here, you can wear these." Josie took them from Sam as he continued, "The boots and pants are my sister Abby's. She's about your size, so maybe they'll fit. She and her husband live in San Francisco now; they don't get up to the cabin much anymore. Besides, under the circumstances, I don't think she'd mind if you used them. I couldn't find anything with her things that resembled a warm shirt, though, so the sweater is mine."
Josie looked down at the pile of clothing in her hand, and then back up to Sam again. He was making no sense at all today. One minute he was looking at her coldly and calling her an idiot, and the next he's producing clothes for her to wear to keep her warm.
Assuming this was Sam's attempt at some sort of apology, Josie said quietly, "Thank you."
Clearing his throat self-consciously, Sam said, "You're welcome. Um�you can change in there." Sam pointed toward the bedroom.
Nodding, Josie replied, "Okay," and headed off in that direction. Watching her feet as she carefully stepped across the raised threshold, she glanced up and stopped dead in her tracks. Then she gasped and her arms went slack, the clothes and boots falling from her hands to the floor with a dull thud.
Sam, hearing the noise and fearing the worst, raced into the bedroom to find Josie standing stock-still, staring at the bed, the clothing she was carrying now piled at her feet on the floor. Worried that something was wrong, that maybe a concussion was starting to set in, he asked softly, "Josie? Are you okay?"
Josie didn't hear Sam's approach, nor did she hear him speak. She could only hear her own blood rushing in her ears. The bed�it was the bed from her dream; the dream from last night: the one that finally made her give up on sleep and get up early. Everything about it was the same: the brass headboard, the handmade quilt�everything. An eerie sense of d�j� vu settled over her and she felt suddenly lightheaded.
To Sam's distress, Josie didn't answer, and now she actually seemed to wobble as if she were about to fall over. Without a second's hesitation, Sam scooped Josie up in his arms, carried her to the bed, set her carefully on it, and then sat down next to her and put his arm around her to steady her. "Josie? Are you all right? Is your head hurting you?"
Josie turned toward the sound of Sam's voice in a daze. For a moment, it was as if the dream and the reality had merged into one. But then, she came to herself, focusing on Sam's troubled face. "I�Yeah�yeah, I'm fine now."
Unconvinced, he said, "Maybe we really should get you to the hospital."
Josie sat bolt upright, protesting, "No! No�I mean, really, I'm fine. I was just�thinking of something, that's all. I didn't hear you."
Sam found Josie's excuse highly suspect, but didn't push the issue further. It was obvious that she wasn't the slightest bit interested in going to the hospital. Instead he nodded, appearing to accept her explanation, and stood up. "Well, then, let me give you some privacy so you can change�" He crossed the room and closed the door behind him, leaving Josie alone.
Once Sam was outside the room and had safely closed the door, he sagged back against the wall limply. Sam turned back and stared at the closed bedroom door for several seconds, laying his hand across his beating heart. It was still racing and his breath was still not steady. When he'd heard that loud thump, he'd thought that Josie had fainted or even lost consciousness, that maybe she was hurt more seriously than the EMTs thought. And it had scared the hell out of him. Even now, he wasn't feeling overly confident that she was really all right.
He thought back once again at his crazy, spur of the moment offer to stay with him through the storm, and the fear of his dream that had motivated it. For someone who supposedly no longer meant anything to him, he sure had a lot of reaction to the possibility of losing her. As much as he'd hoped otherwise, Josie Geller still had the power to affect him in a big way�and he hated her�and himself�for it.
* * *