* * *
I looked at the front of South Glen South High school and sighed. I graduated from this school eight years ago, and so far had not had a desire to revisit old times. Not that my high school experience was bad--on the contrary, it was typical. I was popular: Student Council President my senior year, a varsity cheerleader, Homecoming Queen, Editor of the school paper and Yearbook� you get the idea. I was also the typical high school bitch--cruel to all the kids not as fortunate as I. I was especially cruel to girls who were awkward, overweight and insecure. The more they cowered in my presence, the more I tortured them. Their humiliation fed my fire.
And then I went to college in California and I learned as I grew up that no matter how "popular" or "cool" I was in high school, it meant nothing in the real world. I grew to regret my teenage behavior, which turned to shame, which led to an emotional breakdown and me going to a therapist. Turns out I was cruel because I was insecure and the only way I could make myself feel better was to bring others down further.
I was hired at the Chicago Tribune shortly after I graduated college as an assistant to a reporter. I worked my way up, and have been writing my own weekly editorial column for the past year. My first four columns were apologies to the four girls I made especially miserable in those years at South Glen South.
* * *
My Editor, Janeane Lanesong, came to me with a rumor she had heard from her boyfriend's sister who works at the Sun-Times. They were apparently sending a reporter undercover to South Glen South High for a feature on high school kids today. "I did some digging and it's someone named Josie Geller. I haven't heard of her personally. Have you, Caroline?"
"No, I haven't."
"Well, you have now." Janeane leaned across my desk the way she did when she was about to give one of her edicts. I was not disappointed. "I want you to go down there and check it out. The Sun-Times has been getting awfully close to catching us in sales this quarter, and I can't let that happen."
Unperturbed by Janeane's command, I crossed my arms across my chest and leaned back in my chair. "Check it out? What do you mean?"
Janeane stood back up and paced in front of my desk as she spoke. "I'm not asking you to enroll, per se. I just want you to go down there for a little while each day and scoop it. I want you to dress like those kids so you fit in. I want an article in the paper the day before this Josie Geller gets hers in. I want the wind taken from their sails�pun intended," Janeane smirked.
"And why me?" I asked. "Obviously, you've got reporters that are more trained for this type of work. I'm just a columnist."
"Yeah, but you're, what, 26? 27? Well, you look eighteen, seventeen even. You can blend in. This is not hard stuff. Observe, that's all. You'll get to be out of the office for hours, and I'll pay you extra for the time."
"I want a raise, not just bonuses," I looked her in the eye, negotiating. I'd learned the hard way that if you didn't look her straight in the eye, she'd shoot you down in a second.
Janeane harrumphed a little and replied, "We'll see how you do first. Do a good job; we'll talk about a raise. If you don't, well, we won't."
This sounded pretty time-consuming. "What about my column?"
"I expect you to still have that in on time, too. You can do it, Caroline. I have faith in you." And with a satisfied nod of Janeane's head as she turned to walk off, my fate was sealed.
* * *
And that's how I ended up here again. "How am I supposed to know who Josie Geller is anyway?" I asked into my pocket recorder. I climbed the steps, went through the metal detector and walked over to the main staircase, where I sat and watched the door. And then I saw her; it had to be her. God, who could miss her? She was absolutely clueless!
She was wearing all white�complete with white faux feather collar and cuffs, a bag with huge grapefruit slices on it, hair that was teased higher than any hairdo I've seen since 1988, and this frosty white lipstick that made her look frostbitten. I hung my head down to hide the smile, vaguely wondering what she'd been like in high school. She flinched as one of the door guards grabbed her by the arm. She turned, shocked, as she realized there were metal detectors at the door. Then she stood, her face red with embarrassment, while the guard searched through her belongings, pulling out a nail file from her purse and throwing it into the trash, informing her that it was considered a weapon. She looked intensely relieved when the search was over and started haphazardly shoving everything back into her grapefruit bag.
She was still trying to decipher her class schedule when the first period bell rang. I followed her at a safe distance as she finally found her classroom. After she entered, I walked up to the door and watched through the window as Ms. Knox plopped a ridiculously huge sombrero on her head. Apparently it was punishment for being late to class. 'Oh, that poor girl,' I thought. I hadn't had Ms. Knox when I was in school, but I remembered the horror stories about that hat. 'It's bad enough to be ridiculed by your peers, but it just adds insult to injury when your teachers do it�
I was staring at the girl trying to contain my laughter when someone walked up behind me and asked, "What are you doing?"
After flinching from the voice coming from just left of my elbow, I turned around to see this boy standing there like he had not a care in the world� and he probably didn't. He had this strange confidence that reminded me of all the "cool" guys I knew when I was in school. His hair was brushed over his forehead. He had necklaces on and a shirt that had the top few buttons left open. 'I bet he's a trendsetter around here,' I decided, sweeping a quick glance down him.
I shrugged disinterestedly. "I thought this was my class. It's not. But there's a girl in there wearing a sombrero and I felt bad for her." I adjusted my bag and turned to walk away.
He seemed taken aback by the nonchalant way I had treated him, as if he were totally surprised by it. He looked in the window for a moment and then back at me, calling, "Wait! Who's she? Who are you?"
"I'm no-one. No-one you need to worry about, anyway." I walked away quickly. Janeane had said discretion was key, and it was going to be difficult enough keeping out of sight of the teachers that might recognize me. Also, Josie was going to very observant and I didn't need her noticing me.
"No name?" he called after me.
Turning briefly, I replied, "Lily." I reached the stairs and started up them without looking back.
I went into a bathroom, checked to make sure I was alone, and pulled out my recorder. I described Josie and all I had seen so far. I hit stop, and then remembered something. "Oh yeah, and if anyone else happens to ask, your name is Lily. I don't know what made me lie about it."
* * *
I went back to Ms. Knox's door and waited for the bell to ring ending first period. I needed to find out where Josie would be going next. Suddenly, the bell rang and kids poured out into the hallway, obliterating me from sight, just as I had hoped. Josie, however, was not hard to spot. Her white outfit stood out sharply against those of her more fashion-savvy cohorts. I trailed her down the hallway and up a set of stairs and watched as she seemed to be speaking into a tape recorder of her own. She turned a corner and entered one of the rooms in the English/Science wing. I stood by the door and watched her as kids filed into the room past me.
Apparently having had as much spotlight as she could take from her sombrero fiasco, she climbed the stairs and started to sit in one of the seats in the back row. But not for long. Suddenly, three girls that were obviously part of the "in-crowd" surrounded her. By the looks on their faces, I assumed they were not exchanging pleasantries. Josie got up and moved, but looked around in horror as she realized that the only open seat left now was in the front row. Dejectedly, she dropped her bag down beside the chair and prepared to sit.
For the second time that morning, a voice beside me startled me. "Hello? Can I help you?" But this voice definitely did not belong to a student. It was warm and sexy and very, very adult.
I turned and practically gasped. Hello was right� This guy was gorgeous! He looked to be about my age, 6 feet tall, athletically built, blond hair, gorgeous green eyes, and a killer smile. From the briefcase he was holding in one hand and the coffee mug he was holding in the other, I could only assume he was the teacher. Dang! They didn't have teachers like him when I was in school�
Clearing my throat, I replied, "No, no�I have free period now. I was looking to catch a friend of mine, but it turns out I'm at the wrong classroom. I'm still pretty new," I explained with just the right amount of earnestness.
Flashing a sexy, crooked grin in response, he said, "No problem�although you might want to get to study hall before they catch you out here. You know, those hall monitors can get pretty crotchety."
Before I had a chance to respond to that, he gestured to the closed door to his classroom and asked, "Hey, would you mind?"
"No, not at all," I replied, and I opened the door for him and watched as he entered and the door closed behind him. I watched Josie's face as she registered the presence of this new teacher, and grinned at her shock. Apparently she'd never had a teacher like him in high school, either�
* * *
"Josie just spilled chocolate milk all down her leg. She's not going to be popular, that's for sure. She's sitting with the popular girls, although from what I can see, it doesn't look like they want her there. What can be my angle for this article? I can't just write about my observations if I want this raise. There has to be more." I was sitting in the furthest corner of the cafeteria, an uneaten apple in front of me. "Oh, Mr. Cool just walked up to Josie. What is going on? God, do things never change? These kids are like dogs and bees that attack when they smell fear. Except these kids attack at the first sign of weakness. I don't know what Josie's assignment is, but I'm sure it has to include infiltrating this group. She's never going to do it."
I headed for the exit after I watched her get up and leave. As I passed the popular girls table I hit record on my recorder and walked past extra slow.
"What was she thinking, sitting with us?" asked the blonde.
"I know! Do we have a sign above us that says 'Charity Table'?" replied the pretty black girl.
"Yeah, like, we're not Jerry's Kids!" Said the brunette and they all laughed. I looked up at Mr. Cool as I was just about to pass him.
"Hi," he said.
I smiled mysteriously and kept walking without answering. "Who's that?!" I heard one of the girls say.
"Her name's Lily. I don't know who she is though," he answered, and then I was out of earshot.
* * *
It was a week after I started my assignment when I had my first confrontation with the popular girls. I was fixing my hair, which was black, long and pulled into a ponytail, when they came in. I rushed into a stall and turned my recorder on, hoping that the echoes wouldn't distort what these girls were saying too much. The girls' room is the best place to get good gossip. Josie came in after them.
"Hi guys! Kristen, Kirsten, Gibby! Great to see you!" She was so enthusiastic, that I found I actually liked her. But these girls did not. They didn't even bother to respond to her. I heard her take a deep breath and go into a stall. I could see through a space between the stall door and the door jam that they were silently giggling. 'Why bother being silent about it?' I wondered. Josie flushed the toilet, washed her hands. I heard the door open looked to see who it was. "Hi, Aldys." Josie said warmly.
"I was wondering if you drowned in here." Aldys said. "Are you ready? We'll be late."
"All set!" Josie smiled at the girls. "So, see you in Mr. Coulson's class!" she said to the girls as she walked out with her friend. I had seen her with that girl before. They walked around with a pack, sort of a 'geek squad', all wearing matching sweatshirts. For the second time I wondered what Josie had been like when she really was seventeen.
"There goes the cyborgs, off to rejoin the Terminator gang," said Kristen, the blonde and apparently the leader in this little group.
"Aren't they call the Denominators?" asked Gibby, the brunette.
"Yeah, so?" Kristen shrugged. "I don't care."
"Did you see Alpo's outfit!?" said Kirsten, the third girl, laughing. "And that headband!" More laughter.
"Like Josie dresses any better? They must get dressed in the dark," said Kristen snidely.
"I just love the teased hair," Gibby said.
"I know; it's like she's straight out of the 80's. Her mom must dress her," Kirsten said.
I flushed the toilet and came out of the stall. I washed my hands, applied some lip-gloss, and checked my hair again, all very slowly. They were just looking at me. I walked to the door, and then turned back to them. "You know, some people might not like to look like Playboy models at school. Maybe you guys should actually try putting on entire outfits once in a while instead of just your underwear."
I walked out, hearing all three of them huff, and headed toward Mr. Coulson's class. I'd found out quickly that he was that hunk of an English teacher of Josie's. It was the only time of the day when I actually envied the poor woman. He was a fox: blond, handsome, easy going, and a killer smile. I almost wished that Janeane had made me enroll. Lucky Josie.
I walked up to the window as he began class watched him pace the room, talking about Shakespeare with such obvious love of his subject. And it was obvious from the look on Josie's face that she shared that love, whereas most of the other students did not. I sighed enviously. We didn't have teachers like him when I was in school, that's for sure.
I looked at my watch. It was almost noon. I walked to my car, and getting in and starting up the motor, I looked for a post office. When I couldn't find one between South Glen South and the Trib office, I stopped at the Tiki Post. I hated that place. There was no store tackier, with its Tiki torches and plastic leis and employees in Hawaiian shirts.
I stepped in and went to the counter only to look into the warmest brown eyes accompanied by the warmest smile I have ever seen. "Welcome to the Tiki Post, where every customer gets a free lei," he said as he put one of the God-awful things around my neck.
I smiled awkwardly and took it off, dropping it to the counter. "No thanks. I just need to mail this." I placed a box on the counter that I needed mailed to my sister in California.
"Yeah, I can do that." he said. As he was putting postage on it, he kept glancing at me. I smiled. He took my money and handed me my receipt. "So, uh, thanks. Have a good day." He flashed his brilliant smile again.
"You too." I glanced at my receipt. He had written his phone number on it. "My name is Caroline." I said, putting out my hand in greeting.
He closed his hand around mine and held it. "I'm Rob."
For some reason, this simple action flustered me a little. Abruptly pulling my hand away I stammered, "It was nice to meet you."
Putting on the charm, Rob tilted his head toward me and asked, "Would you want to, you know, have a drink sometime, or something?"
I smiled again. "Yes, I would."
"Great."
"I'll call you." I said and I walked out, feeling a little giddy. Wow! I thought, wondering about my reaction to this guy. I mean�he worked in a mail place! And a tacky one at that� I looked again at his phone number on my receipt. I knew that I would call him. After all, I never feel like this!
* * *