* * *
Josie drove home in a daze after her interaction with Sam that afternoon. She knew that she still had feelings for him and they were clouding her judgment. She wanted him to be a part of Samantha's life…but whether she wanted him to be a part of hers she was still unsure. She still found it hard to trust him, no matter how apologetic or sincere that he sounded. Pulling into her driveway she sighed. Was she making a mistake?
Josie smiled as she approached the step, Samantha's baby doll was sitting on the step next to a plastic cup from her 'tea set.' Sammy Josie smiled at the scene and was amazed yet again at how sweet her daughter really was. Entering the house, she saw baby Sammy and the babysitter playing with blocks. Sammy noticed her mom and gurgled at her. She was old enough for words to be forming and occasional "Mama"s and independent "No!"s often could be heard.
"How's Mommy's little girl?" Josie said, picking up her daughter and giving her a big squeeze.
The girl replied with a big hug. Then, setting her down, Josie knelt down before her daughter and asked seriously, "You remember how I told you about Daddy? Daddy?" Josie asked, wondering if Sammy would even make a connection to the word. A spark lit in the child's eyes and she turned and crawled off as fast as she could go.
"Sammy!" Josie called after her. "Sammy…where are you going, honey? Mommy's trying to talk to you…"
A moment later, Sammy came back; crawling along with something clutched in her little hand. Reaching Josie, she handed it to her.
Looking down, tears welled up as Josie looked at the laminated and now mostly crumpled picture of Sam she had given her daughter. Using Josie as a brace, Sammy pushed herself to a stand next to the crouching Josie. Very seriously, Sammy pointed at the picture and looked at her mother, "Dada," she said.
Tears started to roll down Josie's face as she looked into the earnest face of her daughter. She reminded Josie of Sam in so many ways, like the way she was looking at her now. "Yes," she choked out with a laugh. "Daddy. He's coming to see you later. Would you like that?" she asked.
Sammy nodded with apparent understanding. Josie had made sure that her daughter knew she had a father, and one who would very much love her. Josie knew that eventually she would want Sam to be a part of Sammy's life…and apparently the time had finally come.
* * *
Sam was in his hotel room, practically pacing a hole in the carpet, he was so nervous. Looking at the time, he still had an hour to kill before he could show up at Josie's. Funny how things could have changed for him so much in so little time. Before yesterday, being with Josie had been just a distant, and apparently unrealistic dream. He didn't believe in himself and their love enough to fight for it. In his heart, he'd felt that Josie deserved better than someone who could do what he did, even if it were an accident, and one that Lara had taken full advantage of.
But now, here he was, waiting just one more hour to re-enter Josie's life. And this time it would be for good. He may not have had the courage to fight for Josie before, but with the knowledge that now two people depended on him… Well, he wasn't going to let them down again.
He wasn't nervous anymore at the fact of being in the same room as Josie. His encounter with her earlier today had cured him of that. Now, he was nervous about meeting his daughter…seeing his own flesh and blood before him. It was nerve wracking to think he needed to pass muster with a toddler. He had once dreamed of such a wonderful thing…of Josie having his baby, but never thought it would ever happen after all that had transpired between them.
Despite his nervousness, Sam sighed happily, hoping that in time, and with a lot of work on his part, all the fear and pain he had caused would drain out of Josie's heart and then perhaps they could start again: marriage, more children, the whole works.
Sam walked over to the vanity frowned at his reflection in the mirror. He had never loved anybody but Josie. Josie was his entire being and somehow he never felt good enough to have her. He never felt he was lucky enough to be her boyfriend. The mishap with Lara was disastrous. But one thing was for sure: Sam would get her back. He just hadn't planned on how or when…but he knew. Fate was on his side.
* * *
Josie waited by the door, watching the street for any movement. Unconsciously, she wrung her hands together in fear. Dinner was in the oven. Josie had also bathed and dressed Sammy in a pretty pink party dress and had cute pigtails in her hair. Josie kept looking at the clock in anticipation, wiping her sweaty palms on the back side of her dress. Her heart was longing to see him again, but her head was telling her to keep a lid on these feelings. Josie froze as she saw a car's headlights and heard Sam's car pull up in the driveway.
After a few deep breaths to calm down, Josie walked to the door and opened it as casually as she could.
"Hi. I see you found the place okay?" Josie asked, as she led Sam into the entranceway and took his coat.
"Yeah, it was pretty easy. Just followed the directions you gave me. It's such a beautiful house, too," Sam complimented.
"Thank you. I…I wanted a house for Sammy where she could run and play in the backyard, and when I found this…I just knew," Josie explained.
Sam paled at the mention of his daughter. His breath caught in his throat and his palms were now heavily sweating.
Josie noticed the sudden change in Sam's demeanor, and felt a twinge of pity for him. How strange it must have been for him to become an instant father, she mused. Deciding to put Sam out of his misery and share her biggest secret, Josie grabbed Sam by the hand and led him into the comfy living room where Sammy was playing with her tea set. "Sam?" Josie introduced, "Meet Sammy."
His heart melted at the sight of this beautiful little girl before him. He looked at Sammy for a long moment and then back to Josie, open-mouthed. He longed to tell her how wonderful he thought they both were…but the words just wouldn't come. He was literally speechless.
Josie edged forward and then knelt next to her daughter. "Honey, your daddy is here!" Josie said softly.
The little girl looked up at the man before her for a moment before she broke out in a huge grin of apparent recognition, putting her arms up to him to be picked up. Sam felt his heart burst as he complied with her unspoken request. Once in his arms, the little girl sighed a little and wrapped her chubby arms tightly around his neck. Tentatively, he placed his arms around his daughter, playing with the curls in her hair as he buried his head into the little girl's neck in sheer happiness of the moment. She had accepted him, wholeheartedly and innocently, as only a child could do.
Josie felt tears prick her eyes as she watched father and daughter in their first moments together. Suddenly she felt the need to escape and she retreated to the kitchen under the guise of checking the dinner. Her heart thumped painfully, watching her daughter enfolded in Sam's arms, and feeling ashamed that she was jealous. She didn't want to still want Sam, especially after all she had done to make it on her own. But she did. She wanted it desperately, even though she could never allow Sam another chance. So much time had gone by, months where things still could have been repaired if he had only come. Now she knew she could never allow Sam Coulson under her skin again; she couldn't risk another heartbreak.
She peeked around the corner and into the living room again. Sam and Sammy were sitting on the floor and Sammy was showing Sam all her toys as if it were completely normal for her father to just suddenly be there. The incredible love for his daughter was blatantly apparent on Sam's face. Josie leaned against the doorjamb and sighed. He would be the most wonderful father a girl could ever want…she was sure of that now. With his attention firmly on his daughter, Josie felt free to admire him: his slender athletically toned body, his light brown hair that always looked like he'd just run his hands through it, his luscious, tender lips. She remembered all too well the details of his attentions, but she needed to remember; she could admire him from afar, but those things she once had could never be hers again.
She had a feeling that Sam would be even more persistent in his attentions now that he had met Sammy. But he would only want her because of Sammy…she needed to remember that. She could not give in to his attentions, no matter how much he tried to win them. That was a vow that Josie knew she had to keep: to keep Sam at an emotional distance, no matter how she actually felt.
Sam could feel Josie's gaze centered firmly on him as he played his first game of peek-a-boo with his daughter. But he was not ready to let her know he knew. Many a thought passed through his head in those moments. What would happen if Josie never took him back? Would he still have access to his little girl? Now that he'd met her, he never wanted to let her go. In fact, he never wanted to let either of them go.
Somehow, someway, he needed to convince Josie that they should be together; they should be a family. He wanted, whether he deserved it or not, a second chance, and he would do anything it took to get that chance.
Slowly, Sam turned, seeing Josie watching them from the kitchen doorway. Their eyes connected and his breath caught for just a moment. In that moment, he knew: despite everything, Josie still loved him…even if she didn't want to admit it. That was very good news, because eventually he knew he would break down her defenses, and then, finally, they could be together.
Sam smiled crookedly at Josie, not able to contain his sheer happiness. And despite her earlier convictions, Josie found herself smiling back.
* * *