By Carol Date Posted: April 25, 2000
All comments welcome here,
or on the Message Board. Thanks for your interest!
* * *
Saturday morning turned out to be bright and beautiful. Sam's best friend Jonathan picked him up, as well as two other friends, so that they could play a round of golf together. Their Tee time was set for 10:30 AM.
Personally, Sam was glad for the diversion. He had spent a nearly sleepless night thinking about Josie Geller, or more specifically, thinking about his undeniable attraction to her. He was still amazed at how easy it had been to talk to her the night before after their ride on the Ferris wheel. It was almost as if they had been friends for years instead of just having met a few weeks before. She was funny and smart, well-read and articulate, sensitive and caring. And it astounded him to find such a woman packaged into a seventeen year old girl.
So, Sam took his confusion and frustration out to the golf course and used some good old-fashioned exercise to work them out�at least for the time being.
By three o'clock that afternoon, the foursome had played a relaxing, if not stellar, round of golf. After noontime, the sun had really begun to heat things up, so it had turned into a rather warm day. The four men had stopped into the clubhouse after their round and shared a few laughs over a glass of soda and were now on their way home through the suburbs.
Sam, sitting in the front seat beside Jonathan, was lost in daydreams about Josie. His two other friends, Matt Riley and Scott Romano were in the back seat. Scott Romano also happened to be the Baseball Coach at South Glen South.
Jonathan was driving through a residential section when he came to a stop as the traffic signal in front of them turned red. After a minute or so, he sighed heavily, complaining, "I swear this must be the longest light in Illinois!"
"I don't mind," Matt piped up from the back seat. "I'm enjoying the view and frankly, I think I'm in love," he continued dreamily. "Or at least in serious lust..." he joked.
They all followed his gaze to the yard across the intersection on Jonathan's side where a young blonde was pushing a lawnmower. She was wearing short cutoff jeans and a halter-top with an Orioles Baseball cap on top of two pigtails. She had gorgeous legs and a nice figure. A big friendly dog was sitting on the porch watching her mow.
Sam did a double take at this enticing scene. He couldn't believe his eyes� It was Josie Geller.
Reaching forward to place a friendly hand on Jonathan's shoulder, Matt said with a sigh, "Drop me off here and never pick me up."
Sam's head snapped around to level an angry look at Matt. "Shut up, Matt; knock it off!" Sam growled. "That girl is only 17 and she's one of my students, besides. Leave her alone."
'So I can have her,' his mind finished for him. 'Oh, God, I am out of control here,' he realized. The thought terrified him.
Jonathan looked at Sam, astounded by his best friend's outburst. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Sam so agitated about anything, much less about someone of the female persuasion. He studied Sam curiously, and then turned to look at the girl, wondering what was going on. She sure was cute, Jonathan thought. He could certainly see why Matt thought she was so attractive. And it wasn't as if they hadn't made comments like this before about other women they'd seen. So, why was Sam so upset about this one?
Meanwhile, Josie, busy mowing her parents' lawn, was oblivious to the four men in the car staring at her.
Sam had hoped that his stern warning to Matt would have ended this conversation topic, but to his dismay, Scott Romano said, "Oh, hey, is that Josie Geller, Sam?"
Sam turned to look at him and nodded silently. He was so worked up over his sudden intensely jealous outburst at Matt; he feared he wouldn't be able to speak with a normal tone.
Scott continued, "This new kid on my team, Rob, is always talking about how wonderful she is. Now I can see why," he said, eyeing Josie appreciatively. "You'd think she walks on water or something to hear him tell it. I heard she is a fantastic ice skater and speaks fluent Spanish. Apparently her family goes on all sorts of exotic trips, too. Doesn't sound like a bad family to be in."
Teasingly, he continued, "Actually�after graduation I was thinking I might ask her out�when she's 18 of course." He peeked at Sam to see if his statement would elicit a reaction from him. It did. Sam's expression darkened as if a thundercloud had just landed on his head.
Scott, taking the hint, put up his hands to show surrender. "Geez! I was just kidding, Sam� I'd never date a kid like that!"
However, Matt shared a differing opinion. "Hey! I've got dibs�I saw her first," said Matt. "And I don't care if she's 17; I'd date her right now. I mean, look at that bod! She's hot! Besides Sam, I'm not her teacher and I'm only 22." He continued on, almost to himself, "I wonder if she likes older men?" He turned to Scott and asked, "What was her name again? You said her family has money? Damn! Look at those legs!"
Just as Sam didn't think he could take one more second of torture, the light changed. As Jonathan started to drive past the house and on down the street, Sam turned around to look Matt in the eye. Although Matt was a good friend, he had a reputation for being a womanizer. Well, Sam thought, this was one girl he wasn't going to womanize. His eyes were glittering and hard as he informed Matt menacingly, "If I find out you've gone near her, Matt, you'll have to answer to me. Josie is not that kind of girl, and you are not going to play your little games with her. She is off limits, do you hear me!?"
Jonathan, Matt and Scott all turned to stare at Sam, astounded. They could see he was deadly serious and terribly upset.
Jonathan, who had known Sam for twenty years, had never seen his normally easygoing, laidback friend this upset. But he knew what he was expected to say, so he said it. "Sam's right, Matt. Leave her alone or you'll answer to both of us. She looks much too nice for the likes of you, anyhow! Besides, she's Sam's student for crying out loud! You'd end up in jail."
Sam was grateful for Jonathan's support, but was definitely disturbed by this new turn of events. He'd already known about Rob from his conversation yesterday afternoon with Marilyn Knox and he had noticed Guy Perkins was paying more attention to Josie lately, too� even if she was not aware of it yet. Now, even other guys his age were sitting up and taking notice. He'd known his prophecy about "guys lining up around the block for her" would come true�he just hadn't expected it to happen so soon. Sam spent the rest of the car ride mulling over these latest developments, and trying to decide how he was going to handle them.
After Jonathan had dropped Matt and Scott at their respective apartments, he decided to take the long way back to Sam's apartment. He and Sam rode in silence for a while. Glancing over at Sam's gloomy face worriedly, he decided that Sam looked as if he desperately needed to talk. Finally, Jonathan said hesitantly, "You know�back in front of that girl's house� Matt was just being Matt� He never means anything by that stuff, Sam. It's never bothered you before�"
"I know," Sam sighed miserably.
"So, why were you so angry with him? Is something going on with this girl you want to talk about?" Jonathan asked, wanting to help his best friend, who was obviously in turmoil.
"I wish I knew what was going on," Sam said listlessly. "I've never had this kind of reaction to anyone, let alone one of my students, Jon, and it's scaring the hell out of me. Every time I'm around her, it's like I lose my balance. I can't seem to control my reactions. For example, would you believe me if I told you that last night I actually rode on a Ferris wheel with her?"
"What? You!? No way; I don't believe it!" Jonathan was amazed. "What in God's name made you do that?"
Sam sighed. "I'm not sure. She was sitting all alone in the bucket and no one would sit with her. The other kids were teasing her about it. Something in me just snapped; I couldn't bear to see them hurting her like that. The next thing I knew, I was sitting beside her and the carny was fastening the safety bar."
Jonathan let the full weight of that statement sink in before commenting, "So when did she enter the picture?"
Sam thought a minute. How could he begin to describe Josie to his best friend so that he could understand? "She's a transfer student�came into my class in March. Ever since that first day, I've felt this tremendous . . . connection to her. She's a great writer and really a brilliant student, but it's more than that, Jon�I can feel it. There's something different here, between her and I; different from anything that I've ever felt, so different that I don't even know what to call it. It's almost as if she is the only one who has ever really understood me, and she doesn't even try. It's so weird. A part of my brain knows she's my student and I have to keep it professional, but at other times this feeling is so�overwhelming, that I start acting irrationally."
Wow, Jon thought. This was serious stuff. Sam sounded like he was talking about the four letter "L" word�and not the one that had been on Matt's mind earlier. And what was worse was that poor Sam had no clue he was falling in love with this girl. "So�how do you think she feels about you?"
Sam hesitated, afraid to read too much into it. "Well, I think she likes me. We have talked quite a bit and she writes tons of extra credit stuff for me. And� I think�Well, I think� that sometimes she uses the writing to tell me things about herself. I'm not even sure if it's a conscious thing. But when I read her work, I feel like she is slowly revealing herself to me. You know?"
Jonathan silently nodded and waited for Sam to continue.
"And when I got on that Ferris wheel with her, I really panicked�you know, my fear of heights?"
Jonathan nodded again.
"Well, she was really sweet and tried to distract me, instead of treating me like the idiot I was acting like. But, then I got flustered and I started blabbing about Lara wanting me to move to New York and all. Josie had met Lara the other night at the Delloser Club and, as you can imagine, Lara was her usual rude self to Josie, so I can't help but wonder if she now thinks I'm a jerk for settling for someone like her. One of the essays she wrote for class was about people settling for less in relationships, rather than waiting for the right person. It was really eloquent and it seemed like it was something she strongly believed in."
"So, now she knows that I have settled for less and stayed in a relationship for a long time with someone who acts bossy and snobbish and I wonder if that has effected her opinion of me� But then again, I talked to her after that and we had a really nice long talk about Cal Ripken and my trip to Baltimore last year, so I do feel like we have become friends." Sam sighed. "I'm so confused, I don't know what to think�"
Jonathan couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. He'd never heard Sam openly criticize Lara this way. Now Jonathan was convinced that something serious was going on here. He thought to himself, 'This girl must really be something special if she helped Sam wake up about Lara.'
"What about my favorite Lara?" Jonathan had to ask.
Sam gave Jonathan a droll look, telling him without words that Sam knew he was being sarcastic. "Being around Josie has made me realize how empty my life has been with Lara, and how wrong she and I are for each other. I actually sent Lara back to New York yesterday because I couldn't put up with her attitude anymore."
What? Sam had recognized that Lara was no good for him and he sent her packing early? Jonathan could not believe his ears. But the news on the Lara front was about to get better.
Sam continued, "I finally realized that I want to break up with her and I tried to tell her that on the way to the airport, but she started crying. Actually," Sam pondered for a moment, considering, "I think it was an act, but I agreed to give it some more time. But the more I think I about it, the more I know that I don't want to be with Lara. It's just not worth the effort and I don't want to move to New York. We really don't have much in common. I'm just not good at sticking to my decisions when she starts the crying routine."
Jonathan was overjoyed. He secretly thought, 'Thank God for Josie.' "So, what you are telling me is that because of your�friendship with this student, you've realized that the relationship with Lara is over, right?"
"Basically, yes."
Jonathan paused, but then dived into the crux of the matter. "So, now you are upset because you are having romantic thoughts about this girl, right?"
Sam looked anguished. "I can't have romantic thoughts about her, Jon; she's seventeen."
"Yeah, I know Sam, and that's why you are so agitated. You know you can't...but you are, right?"
Sam closed his eyes, trying to block out the truth of Jonathan's statement, but he could not. He nodded silently.
Jonathan thought about this for a couple of minutes before he continued, "Well, maybe you can just be friends and get to know her while she's still your student, as if she was any other really gifted student. You know, totally on a teacher/student friendship basis. I don't see how that would be wrong. You know, Sam, things often happen to us for a reason. Maybe you've met this girl right now to show you that there's life beyond Lara. I mean, hey, if you have this much in common with a high school girl, just imagine if you met someone like Josie who was around your age!"
Sam frowned at this last statement. He didn't know how he felt about that.
Jonathan went on, "But I'd have to say this girl must be a good influence on you. As your friend, Sam, I've got to tell you, you've seemed much happier lately, I'd say since about March. For at least the past year, whenever Lara's been here you look miserable for days. Before you met Josie, I'd say that I could always tell when Lara had been here (if I didn't already know) by hearing your voice. Why not use this time to make a final break with Lara? You have seemed so much happier in the last two months."
"In the meantime, get to know Josie as a friend. That sounds like what you are doing anyway, so why not concentrate on that? Maybe once the novelty wears off, you'll find out that she's just seventeen and it's too big an age difference." Sam was giving Jon that look again, so he amended, "However�if after she graduates and turns eighteen you still feel all this for her, then you won't be her teacher anymore. Nine years isn't that much of an age difference. It's been known to work." Jonathan shrugged.
"In any event, you'd already be friends and you can build on it from there, if there's something to build on, that is. Besides, it's not good to jump from one relationship to another anyway. And it sounds to me like Josie is pretty special and wouldn't want to settle for someone still entangled with a woman of the likes of Lara. And I don't think Lara will be that easy to get rid of. I think that will take some time and effort on your part, Sam."
"Why don't you relax a little about Josie and concentrate on being someone who doesn't settle� Isn't that what you said? She doesn't think a person should settle?"
"Yes."
"Then take some time to sort things out. You can get to know her on a platonic level and figure out what you really want from her."
"I know. What you're saying makes sense, but�" Sam trailed off helplessly.
Sam knew Jonathan was trying to make him feel better and there was quite a bit of truth there. In another month she wouldn't be his student, and at some point she would turn 18, so it would be wise to wait to act on any feelings he might be having.
But it was also becoming clear to Sam that other guys were attracted to her now. Some student named Rob, and Guy Perkins had been staring at her lately as well� Sam hadn't missed that. And now add his own friends Matt and Scott to the mix. God only knew how many more there were that he didn't know about. They were already lined up around the block for her� and all he had done was introduce her to Lara and then tell Josie that Lara had been his girlfriend for five years. He shook his head ruefully, wishing he had broken up with Lara six months ago.
"So, what is it that's still bothering you, Sam?"
"Well, while I'm taking this time getting to know Josie as a friend and working things out with Lara, what if someone like Matt comes along and she ends up with someone else while I'm still her teacher and can't do a thing about it?"
Jonathan shook his head. Boy, Sam really had it bad.
"Sam, you said yourself that she feels very strongly about ending up with the right person. If she really believes that and your hunch about her feelings for you is right, she won't run off with the likes of Matt or anybody else while you're still her teacher. Now if it's a month from now and you are still entangled with Lara, then, in my opinion, you don't deserve her. I think if you think you might want to be with this girl someday, and she's as wonderful as you say, you have to have a little faith in her. You are the one with the girlfriend. She's not waving a boyfriend in your face is she?"
"No. I know you're right� It's just that guys are definitely interested," Sam sighed dejectedly.
"Yeah, well, you can show her you are interested in her as her teacher and as her friend. That's all you're allowed to do for the time being. After all, it's not her fault she's so cute and wonderful."
Sam gave Jonathan a wounded look.
Jonathan tried to console him. "Look Sam, just because guys are interested in her doesn't mean she's going to want to go out with them. From what you are telling me, she's pretty particular when it comes to relationships and men. And so far, she has chosen to communicate a lot of her feelings to you. You said she's writing a lot of extra credit work for you, a lot of things expressing her opinions. That tells me that she already has decided that there's something about you she likes and is trying to get to know you in an indirect sort of way, which at this point is the only way she can."
Hope lit up Sam's eyes.
Jonathan continued, "Besides, if she's as smart as you say, then she would know your hands are tied as long as you are her teacher. She'd probably think less of you if you made any inappropriate moves at this point. Or maybe she is feeling the same things you are, but is thinking, 'Well, he's perfect for me, but he's got that "bitch on wheels" girlfriend.'"
The light in Sam's eyes abruptly went out.
"Sorry Sam, but it's true. You won't have a chance with her if you keep Lara in the picture. Plus, you are obviously feeling guilty about Lara or you wouldn't keep mentioning her to Josie. If she's already met Lara, then I'm sure she sees that you aren't happy in that relationship. She'd have to see that if she is at all observant, and it sounds like she is. From what you've told me here, I'd say that she is definitely showing an interest in you, and wants to find out more about you, but doesn't want to be hurt because of Lara."
Sam had to admit that Jonathan had a point. He was the one with the involvement, not Josie.
Jonathan pulled the car over in front of Sam's apartment. As Sam got out, Jonathan asked him, "You still coming over tomorrow? We gotta go pick out the lumber for the deck, don't forget�"
Sam leaned back into the car window, his golf bag already slung over his shoulder. "Of course. You didn't think you and Joanna could get rid of me that easily, did you?" He smiled warmly at his best friend. Building the deck was going to be a summer project for the three of them, with Sam moving into their guestroom for the summer.
Sam stood on the porch and waved as Jonathan drove off. Then he carried his golf clubs up the stairs into his apartment, and went into his bedroom to change into a pair of jeans. After roaming aimlessly around his apartment like a caged bear for a half an hour, Sam decided he needed to get out for a while. So he put on his Mets baseball cap, picked up his keys, and headed out the door to his car. He decided to just drive around for a while mull over what Jonathan had said about his situation with Josie.
After driving for fifteen or twenty minutes, Sam cursed himself when he realized he had subconsciously found his way back to the street they had seen Josie on earlier.
He pulled over and parked across the street and down about a half block from where Josie still was in the front yard of that house. He was relieved to see that at least Matt hadn't gone back there. And it was nice to look at her in that outfit, he thought sheepishly. She had finished mowing and was now playing with the dog that had been watching her from the porch earlier. Josie was laughing and running, throwing the dog's toy, when the large, shaggy dog suddenly jumped on her, knocking her flat on the ground beneath its paws.
Sam had his hand on the car door handle and was about to rush to her aid, when he heard her laugh and say, "Bad Flossie!"
Sam heaved an internal sigh of relief. So the dog's name was Flossie and Josie was okay, he realized.
Sam felt sort of guilty since he was effectively spying on her. He wanted to go over and say something, but for once Josie looked relaxed and happy. He decided to let her be. Sam pulled the car back onto the road and drove by the house on his way back home. As he turned to take one last look at Josie, he noticed the name on the mailbox read 'Geller'.
'Hmmm, that's strange,' he thought. 'I thought the roster had her address as across town?' He'd have to ask her about that other address on the student roster next week, he guessed. At least he'd gotten to see her today, when he'd thought he'd be without her all weekend. Now, he only had two more days to go.
Sam took his time driving home, a plan forming in his mind. He walked in, picked up the phone, and tried to call Lara, but got no answer. He sighed, frustrated. He was determined to tell her it was over between them. Jonathan was right; he was the one with the problem relationship, and before he could deserve someone like Josie he knew he had to settle things with Lara.
For the rest of the evening, Sam couldn't get Josie out of his thoughts. His mind kept going around in circles. He thought that she liked him, based on the way she responded to him on the Ferris wheel and walking around afterwards�maybe even more than liked him. But how could he know if she felt anything close to what he felt for her?
Jonathan had said that she her actions showed an interest in him, too, and Sam tried to be comforted by that. He knew in his heart that he would have to wait for the right time to express his feelings, no matter how hard it was. And he also knew that Jon was right about having faith in Josie. She was not the type to jump into a relationship with just anyone; she'd practically hit him over the head with that fact. If she continued to show interest in him in whatever form, he would encourage her. He just hoped he could eventually convince her how right they were for each other; in spite of all of they had working against them.
Finally, after tossing and turning for some time, Sam fell asleep and dreamed of Josie. It was a strange but sweet dream where they were talking and laughing together. They were surrounded by flowers.
The sweet feeling of his fingers touching Josie's, the warmth from her eyes locking with his, and the sense of the rightness of it all lingered from the dream as he awoke. He sat up, a big smile on his face. It had been a long time since he'd remembered a dream this clearly. As he put his legs over the side of the bed and prepared to start another day, all he could think was that this was one dream he fervently hoped would come true.
* * *
To be continued�
* * *
Next Installment
< ahref="http://www.geocities.com/nbkonline/hellolyrics.html">Song Lyrics
Back to Stories Page