* * *
It was a bright cool spring morning. 'Perfect for a ballgame,' Rob thought to himself as he waited impatiently by Josie's locker, shifting from one foot to the other and glancing repeatedly at his watch. He was dressed in his usual black pants, black T-shirt, and oversized unbuttoned black print shirt.
As far as Rob Geller was concerned everyday was perfect for playing ball - there was nothing he liked better than preparing for competition down to the last detail. On this day he really felt like he'd dotted his I's and crossed his T's and now he was totally enjoying every moment leading up to what he felt would be his greatest triumph. He had even picked the music to be played over the loudspeaker before the game and between innings, including his all time favorite: "Centerfield" by John Fogerty. There was nothing like hearing that song to get Rob fired up for a ball game, not that he needed any encouragement to play his favorite sport.
And now he had a chance to show the world his coaching ability and help his sister at the same time� 'Life just couldn't be better,' he thought grinning to himself. And then there was that irony of Mr. Coulson playing centerfield. 'I'll show him that song was written for me; that I am that brown-eyed handsome man in the song,' Rob thought to himself, smiling and picturing how he would wave at Mr. Coulson as he rounded third and headed for home.
The only dark cloud for Rob was the problem of Tracie, who was obviously smitten with him. He didn't want to hurt her and saw the game as something he could focus on away from her to kind of distance himself. The more he saw of Josie and Mr. Coulson, the more Rob hoped that he too could find someone to really love: a true soulmate, although he would never willingly admit to his sister that she'd been right all along.
* * *
Sam sighed as he sat in an unusual traffic backup on his way to work. He had hoped to get to school much earlier than this. He figured that the sooner he could get to work, the sooner he could busy himself and get his mind off of Josie Geller. He had been preoccupied all morning with thoughts of Josie and the way she'd looked through that window the night before. And then of course, there was that incredibly realistic dream he'd had about her visiting him in his bed. He knew now that he would never be able to look at her the same way ever again. He would always think of her unalterably as a beautiful, desirable woman, rather than as the seventeen-year-old student he knew she still was.
He decided to wear his favorite black shirt and dark gray pants, thinking all the while about Josie as he shaved and dressed for the day. He was listening to the radio as he put his clothes on when a song by Savage Garden called "Chained To You" came on. Sam listened, shocked that the words to the song expressed exactly what he was going through: what he'd been going through since meeting Josie. He sat back on the bed in stunned silence as he listened to the story of his life on the radio:
"We were standing all alone, you were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
Sweet temptation rush all over me
And I think about it all the time
Passion, desire so intense, I can't take anymore because
I feel the magic all around you
It's bringing me to my knees
Like a wannabe
I've got to be chained to you
And when you looked into my eyes felt a sudden sense of urgency
Fascination casts a spell and you became more than just a mystery
And I think about you all the time
Is this fate, is it my destiny
That I think about you all the time
I no longer pretend to have my hand on the wheel because
I feel the magic all around you
It's bringing me to my knees
Like a wannabe
I've got to be chained to you
I feel the magic building around you
I feel the magic all around you
It's bringing me to my knees
Like a wannabe
I've got to be chained to you
And I think about it all the time
And I think about it all the time
Tell me it's madness, I barely know you
We were standing all alone, you were leaning in to speak to me
Ten steps back, you're still a mystery
Acting like a mover shaker, dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
I can't take anymore because
I feel the magic all around you
It's bringing me to my knees
Like a wannabe
I've got to be chained to you
I feel the magic building around you
I feel the magic all around you
It's bringing me to my knees
Like a wannabe
I've got to be chained to you
Tell me it's madness
I barely know you�"
He thought about the night before, looking in the window at her. It was madness and he certainly hadn't been prepared for anything quite as alluring and mystical as Josie in her peach-colored nightshirt. And thinking about how she'd caressed and kissed that penguin named Sam had caused the memory of her hugging him and kissing his cheek to come rushing back and overwhelm his senses.
And then in the dream he'd been kissing her, caressing her, and�oh, yes�about to make passionate love to her. It was an overwhelming passion and desire so intense and magical he didn't know how to begin to contain it any longer. He'd never felt anything even close to what he felt burning inside of him every waking�and now dreaming�moment of his existence.
It had taken every ounce of strength he'd had not to knock on Josie's door the night before. He'd been exhausted when he arrived home just from the force of exerting his iron will, but had tossed and turned, finally falling asleep to the most sensuous, exquisitely erotic dream he could have ever imagined. Even though he did take a cold shower and finally got a few hours of dreamless sleep, all the feelings and sensations of the night before were still there when he awakened to the music of his clock radio. And now this song made sure it kept running through his head.
Sam was looking forward to the ball game, just as Rob was, but he realized everything in his life was now dwarfed by the enormity of his love and desire for Josie Geller: that and the fact that he had no idea what he was going to do about it.
* * *
As he was loitering by Josie's locker, Rob suddenly noticed a stunning blonde in a light blue sundress with little white flowers and a white sweater coming toward him, smiling. Every male in her path, teachers and students alike, turned to look at her. Rob was completely floored at the moment he realized that the radiant beauty he was staring at was his own sister. 'What is this? How does she look so much better every day?' he thought to himself as he rubbed his eyes. "Poor Mr. Coulson," he muttered under his breath. "She's gonna kill him before this assignment is over�"
To Josie he said, "Hey, catcher! Take off your sweater and show me your arm!" as he grinned at her.
"God, Rob! Are you going to pester me all day? It's fine; much better, actually. You don't need to examine me here with everyone else around, do you? And besides, it's chilly this morning. Take my word for it, my arm's fine."
"Josie, I've been waiting here for a half hour now to inspect your arm for myself and we still need to have a refresher on our signals. Take off the sweater, Josie. I'm your captain. Don't make a scene, just do it. I need to see your arm," Rob insisted.
She sighed heavily and set all of her books and her tote bag in her locker. Rob started to reach out to help her, but she declined his assistance, saying, "Let me Rob, you might hurt it more yanking on me. Just back off."
Josie started to pull off her little white sweater, revealing her form fitting sundress. As she was trying to remove the sweater, Tommy and Jason walked by and wolf-whistled at her. Josie blushed and looked at the floor, hesitating, finally handing the sweater to Rob.
Sam, who was just coming out of the office door with his coffee in one hand and briefcase in the other, turned in Tommy and Jason's direction, his eyes full of a teacher's disapproval. Then he heard Tommy say, "Lookin' hot, Josie; nice dress!" When he heard Josie's name all the sights, dreams and passion of the night before came piercing through him like a bolt of lightning and his eyes were drawn to her against his will like a magnet.
Sam didn't notice his hand tilting and he dribbled a little of his coffee on his hand as he stared open mouthed at Josie in that dress. He hurriedly wiped his hand off and winced from the slight pain of the hot coffee. Quickly, though, he realized Josie was embarrassed by all the stares and whistling. And even though he was guilty of gaping at her himself (and fresh off a night of peeking at her in her nightshirt and dreaming of making love to her), he started walking towards her with the idea of helping somehow.
As he walked towards them, he heard Rob laugh, "Put your eyes back in guys. I'm just examining her arm. The sweater goes back on after that and then the show is over."
"Since when are you her doctor?" Tommy leered, "Hey Josie, I can play doctor, too� I'll examine your arm and anything else you'd like examined!"
Sam could see that Josie was staring at the floor and blushing now, totally embarrassed, so he decided to intervene. "Hi, Rob. How is your arm today, Josie?" he asked, walking in front of Tommy, thus effectively blocking his and rest of the crowd's view of her. As he stood close to her, the feelings and sights of the night before flooded back into his consciousness and he had to suppress the overwhelming urge to pull her into his arms.
"Oh, hi. It's fine." She smiled at him, grateful that he had shown up when he had. The unwanted attention she had been receiving was making her nervous. "It's just bruised�and tired from picking up the phone so many times last night to discuss strategy with my captain, here." She gave Rob a pointed look.
"Here, let me look at it," Sam offered, setting his briefcase and coffee on the floor. He had successfully blocked everyone else's view of Josie, so the crowd had dispersed. Sam took Jose's arm tenderly in both hands. When he touched her, they both felt a sudden jolt of electricity, both remembering their dreams of the night before.
But Sam held on to her arm, turning it over gently to inspect it. Then he held the arm with his left hand and ran his fingers up and down over the bruised area lightly. "It's still a little swollen here," he said as he continued to rub along her arm lightly with his fingers. He was stunned, realizing that her skin felt even softer to him then he'd imagined in his dream.
Josie was trying to keep calm and breathe normally while he touched her. She couldn't believe how his touch felt even better than what she'd dreamt. "Does it hurt much, Josie?" he asked kindly, then he blushed, suddenly remembering what he'd done in the dream after he'd caressed her arm.
"N-no. It's just a little puffy, really it's fine," Josie shivered involuntarily and her eyes were huge as she stared into Sam's deep green eyes, hoping that he couldn't read her mind. Because right then, more than anything, and as irrational as it was, Josie wanted him to kiss her.
"That's just her baby fat," Rob interjected. Neither Josie nor Sam seemed to hear him, though; they were too busy staring at each other. He knew if Josie had heard him she'd have smacked him for sure. 'They're in they're own world all right,' he thought as he smiled to himself.
"Are you sure you feel up to playing ball with it?" Sam asked, still holding on to her arm, trying not to think about how much he wanted to kiss her.
Then suddenly he remembered where he was. "Oh, here, let me help you put your sweater back on." Sam took the sweater from Rob and held it out for her to put her arms in. After she obviously had it on, he couldn't help but keep his hands on her arms lightly, caressing her for quite a bit longer than was necessary to help her with the sweater. He felt her peach scent enveloping him yet again, just as it had in his dream the night before.
Rob missed none of this exchange. He grinned at Sam. 'I knew the poor guy didn't stand a chance today�' "She'll be fine, Mr. Coulson. I'll wrap it even better than yesterday. I wanted to talk to you about sixth period anyway. I need�"
Sam frowned at Rob and interrupted abruptly, "I think Josie should rest that arm before the game, Rob. No more practicing." He wanted Rob to know how much he cared about Josie's welfare�not to mention that he didn't want to spend another sixth period staring at her empty chair. He was finding it hard enough to think about being away from her at all.
Rob held up his hand in protest. "No, no, you've got me all wrong, Mr. C. I need Aldys during sixth period - Aldys and Guy, actually - to go over some last minute things� If it's okay with you? Thanks to my incredible foresight, Josie and I ironed out all our strategy in a few key telephone conversations last night�"
"A few!" Josie interrupted with a disbelieving snort. "You called me at least ten times! I finally had to disconnect the phone or you would have called all night." She smiled, shaking her head at Rob. Then she looked at Sam. He was grinning at her. "Mr. Coulson, I just came in the door of the school and he was lying in wait like a snake by my locker. Then he forced me to take off my sweater so he could examine my arm in front of everybody. I think you should tell Coach Romano to revoke his captaincy. I think the power has gone to his head�not to mention that he's making my life miserable."
Rob smirked, "I'm like all great leaders: under-appreciated. But you'll thank me when this day is over, Josephine."
"Okay Rob," Sam said forcefully. "You can have Aldys and Guy during sixth period, but until right before game time�or when she decides otherwise and tells me about it� Josie is coming to my class and she's off limits to you as of now, understood?" He knew he was sounding a bit proprietary about her, but he really did feel that she was his now, as irrational as he knew it was. Out of the corner of his eye, an amused Sam saw Josie stick out her tongue at Rob.
"Fine, no problem, Mr. C. We're all on the same page; it's all casual. I'll just walk Josie to class now for a quick signal refresher and that'll be it." Rob offered.
"No, Rob. I'll walk Josie to class and you go to yours. I'll see you before the game during seventh period." Not giving Rob a chance to protest, Sam started to steer Josie off toward Mrs. Knox's room. Bye Rob." Although he knew it was a teacherly thing to do, in reality he knew that it had more to do with being her for even one instant longer than teacher duty.
Josie waved at her little brother and grinned. Rob leered at her when he knew Sam wasn't looking. Rob couldn't resist a parting shot, "Okay, you walk her to class then, but don't do anything I wouldn't do," he teased.
Sam and Josie both blushed and looked away as they each remembered their passionate dreams of the night before. Rob walked away, smiling to himself, whistling cheerfully as he headed towards Aldys' locker.
Josie smiled at Sam then, trying to steady herself by talking normally. "Thank you for that. Rob means well, but he thinks everybody has to be as nervous as he is before a game or they're not ready. Now he'll probably follow Aldys around all day."
"He's just competitive. I understand that. I figured you needed a little break, though. Did he really call you ten times last night?" Sam asked, remembering how she'd looked through that window, jumping up to get the telephone, relieved that it most likely had been her friend Rob and not some romantic rival.
"At least that many. I was trying to relax and read something, just for enjoyment, just to unwind, you know?" Sam nodded. He knew all too well as he pictured her once again talking on the phone in that peach nightshirt.
She continued, "I would get all settled in and comfortable, then the phone would ring so I had to jump up and get it, and then he'd try to quiz me on strategy. We've played ball together since we were little kids, so it's not like we haven't had signals worked out for years. I was alone, and I think since he knows that, well, he thinks he can call all night long. So I really did unplug the phone so I could get a little sleep." She giggled then and picked up her books and tote bag. "You don't have to really walk me to class. I think he got the hint." She wanted to give him an out in case he was just being nice.
Sam picked up his briefcase and now-cold cup of coffee. "No, I insist. Besides, it's on my way anyway. Ms. Knox, right?"
Josie nodded, wondering how he knew. She couldn't remember telling him that Ms. Knox was her first period teacher.
"Come on Josie� just in case he didn't get the hint and because I want to, okay?"
"Okay," she said and smiled shyly at him, still wondering how he knew her schedule.
"So, you've known Rob since you were little kids?" Sam was interested in everything about Josie, especially her close relationship with Rob. And he had memorized her schedule, in addition to her address, telephone number and every other thing he'd learned about her.
"Since I was two years old," Josie said truthfully. "He's been my best friend and my worst nightmare all rolled into one lunatic. Rob means well, though. He's helped me a lot, too. When everything else goes wrong, I know I can turn to Rob and he'll try his best to help me."
Sam looked at Josie, thinking about how Rob had been there to comfort her when she'd run out of his classroom after seeing him with Lara. "He told me you played baseball until you were twelve. Were you always a catcher?" There's a safe subject, he thought to himself, trying to get his mind off the vision of her in that nightshirt.
"Yes, always� Mostly because of my being the smallest player and then because of Rob. He was a pitcher then and we worked together so much that we developed a special way to communicate that worked well - at least at that level. Did you always play centerfield?"
"No, I'm a shortstop, actually�that's partly why I like Cal Ripken so much: because he used to be a shortstop. I can play center pretty well, but I'm much more comfortable at short."
Josie smiled at him hesitantly. "You seemed very comfortable at centerfield. I guess you know we watched you practice yesterday from your classroom. I saw you wave at us," she confessed.
"Yeah, I saw you. I left the door unlocked for Rob after I caught him putting tape over the lock on my door." Sam smiled, and then he blushed thinking about how he'd watched her.
Josie giggled. "He said you would understand�must be a guy thing. Anyway, I'm sorry about us being in your classroom without asking."
"That's okay, Josie. You can come in my classroom anytime you like, whether I'm there or not." 'And my bedroom and most definitely my bed,' he thought dreamily before catching where that train of thought was going. 'What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Rob.'
"Since he was with you, I'll overlook it this time. I left it unlocked and all, anyway, and I knew what he was up to."
"Here's my class. I guess I should get in before Ms. Knox breaks out the sombrero for me. Thanks for walking me," she said as she looked into his eyes, thinking about how she'd done that in her dream right before he'd kissed her.
"Thanks for letting me walk you, Josie. And if Rob bugs you anymore, come get me, okay? Otherwise I'll see you sixth period." He knew he wanted to go with her into the classroom and just be close to her all day long, that was how strong and irrational the yearning was now. He found himself hoping that Rob would bother her some more so she would come and get him.
"Okay, I'll see you then." She smiled at him and ducked into the classroom as the bell rang.
Sam looked at his watch then and headed for his own classroom. He knew he was late, but he really didn't care.
* * *
Josie spent most of the day thinking about Sam. Just when she tried to separate herself from him, he had a way of pushing through all her defenses, making her feel so much more than she'd ever imagined she could feel. And now she was even having erotic dreams about him, she thought with a sigh. It was as if he knew exactly the right thing to say or do to get through to her heart in a way she'd never thought possible. He'd seemed so eager to have her attend his class today. It almost made her believe he really did care for her in some way. And then the way he'd touched her arm� It had been so like the dream. She shivered just thinking about it.
As she walked into his classroom sixth period, she noticed that he seemed to sense her presence. He'd turned around to look at her and smiled that crooked grin that made her knees go weak. And all during class she realized he was looking at her more than ever before�and when she finally met his gaze he didn't look away. He stared right at her until she couldn't take any more and had to look away herself. When she looked back he was looking down, smiling to himself as if he was happy just having her look at him. 'It's almost as if he's feeling the same thing I am,' she thought dreamily.
And the way she'd felt when he'd touched her arm and helped her with her sweater! She felt like he saw she needed him and he rescued her, just like he'd done on the Ferris wheel. She sighed thinking about it and thinking about how she felt inside whenever he just said her name. She though about how he'd told her he loved her in that dream of hers. And in addition, he'd really said she could come in his classroom anytime, she thought with a sigh. 'At least I know he likes me,' she thought happily.
She thought back to that paper she'd handed in before she'd seen him hugging Lara in this classroom. She wondered what he'd thought about that, if he even realized that she'd been talking about him: that he was her dilemma. She was hoping that maybe he'd just keep it and think about it, rather than handing it back to her, since she really hadn't had to write it in the first place. At the same time she wanted some kind of sign from him�anything to let her know that he'd read it and he knew what she'd meant and maybe even that he felt a little bit of what she felt towards him. She felt like they were connecting today and she hoped that maybe, just maybe, they were finally sharing the same feelings or at least the same attraction.
As his class was drawing to a close, she noticed him picking up a stack of papers from his briefcase. She held her breath as he began handing them back. 'Please don't let mine be in there,' she prayed. 'Please, know that I wanted you to keep this one.' In reality, she'd wanted him to keep all that she had written and had been a little disappointed each time he'd given her papers back to her with his comments. She almost saw them as gifts to him that he rejected, albeit with straight A's and voluminous commentary in the margins. 'Please don't reject me this time,' she pleaded silently. 'Today of all days, after that dream I had about us, please show me that you love me, please, Sam.'
She closed her eyes as he approached her desk and set the paper face down. She bit her lower lip and tried to prepare herself for yet another rejection. She didn't see him staring at her nervously. She couldn't bear to look at him, knowing he had the power to shatter all her hopes and dreams with just one glance.
Her heart was pounding as she slowly turned the paper over. In the top right hand corner he'd written simply, "Great paper, Josie. Don't worry, things will work out." Josie bit her lip and felt hot tears stinging her eyes. He obviously had no idea how she felt about him and he had dismissed her with little more than advice one might give a young child. 'Or a silly teenaged girl,' she thought bitterly. 'Which is what he obviously thinks I am: a silly teenaged girl with a stupid crush on him.' All the passion and desire she'd felt for and from him had been nothing but a ridiculous dream.
Josie felt totally humiliated and embarrassed. She'd hoped for something personal or direct. Even not giving the paper back to her would have meant something. But this�! 'He feels sorry for me,' she thought, as she willed the bell to ring. 'He sees a stupid teenaged loser and he's trying to be kind and I read something romantic into everything the man does. I'm even having dreams that he makes love to me, that's how sick and desperate I am. Thank God he can't read my mind. Please let the bell ring so I can get out of here.'
Sam noticed the way she'd looked when he started to hand out the papers. It was obvious to him that she was preparing herself for something awful. He wished he'd at least spoken to her about the paper, but as usual he'd been nervous and afraid. He realized too late, after he'd set the paper down on her desk, that it would have been better to not give the paper back: that that was really what she had hoped for.
And then when she'd finally opened her eyes and looked at his comments, he immediately regretted what he'd written as he saw the sadness and disappointment on her beautiful expressive face. There she sat like a stone, studying that wood grain in her desk again, trying to hold it together, he realized. He cursed himself for being such a dishonest coward and writing the professionally correct thing, hoping that she'd somehow know how he felt and could read it between the lines.
He'd considered writing so many things on that paper. He'd filled two pages with things he wanted to say to her from simply "Don't settle, Josie" to "Your true love has made mistakes and hopes you can forgive him for those mistakes, but he loves you Josie, only you, now and forever. Please don't, settle or go back in that shell. Wait for him." Then he'd written the more direct truth, "I love you with all my heart and soul. I never knew what love was until I met you. Please forgive me for not making that clear to you until now."
He'd written all that before the incredible night he'd spent dreaming about his love for her. He knew now that he needed her in ways he'd barely allowed himself to imagine. She was quite simply the most incredibly desirable woman he'd ever met and he knew that he would never be happy unless he could be with her in every way possible for the rest of her life. And instead of letting her know a little of what he'd felt, he'd treated her like she was merely just another student. And he'd known all along that she was so much more to him: she was the great passionate love of his life. He just hadn't realized the depth and the intensity of his feelings; he really didn't know he was capable of anything close to what he was feeling now.
Suddenly the bell rang and he saw her hurriedly gather her books. "Josie," he started, but just then Coach Romano stuck his head in the door. He realized then that Josie was doing her best to get away from him, since she didn't even look up when he said her name.
"Let's go, Sam. Talk about it later� We can get in some warm ups now. Come on, let's go change and we can go ahead out to the field. Rob's already out there getting his troops lined up." He moved aside as Josie ducked her head and flew out the door. "See? Even their catcher will beat us out there if we don't hurry. Come on Sam, let's go," Scott Romano urged.
Sam closed his eyes and winced, thinking about how much he regretted not being able to do something as simple as tell Josie the truth about his feelings. 'Oh God, Josie, if you only could know how much I love you, how much my heart really is chained to you,' he thought helplessly.
To be continued�