DISCLAIMER: Not my characters, not making any money. Blah blah blah. You know the story.
* * *
All right. I was ready. I grabbed my Evian and the tape recorder before strutting my shit into the boardroom. I didn't know many people there: Anita, that sexy little brunette, who is Josie's friend but also known as the office bicycle (ya know, 'cause everyone gets a ride), who was currently letting Gus Strauss give her gears a tune-up. Oh, yeah. Merkin is in the rumor mill, my friends. Strauss was there, looking unapproachable as always. Anita was making sexual gestures at him with her pencil. Roger, the guy from Op Ed, was looking rather jealous. He and Anita used to have a thing going till she started to hook up with Strauss.
Finally, Rigfort came into the room, rapping his cane on the table. Damned annoying habit, but hey- patience is power, baby.
"You!" He bellowed and pointed his stick at me.
'Whoa, baby,' I thought to myself. 'Keep your cool, cause the fools don't rule, Merkin baby.'
"Yes, Mr. Rigfort, sir. How are you today?"
"Fine� But who the hell are you?"
"Merkin, sir. Josie Geller's personal assistant. She had an interview for her article on the Club that bought out Delloser Hall and sent me to record the meeting. Ya know, so she wouldn't miss anything." I held up the tape recorder as proof.
"Ah. Good. What'd you say your name was?"
I smiled. Merkin is in like Flynn.
"Merkin, sir."
"All right. Sit down then and don't make any noise." He studied me for a moment and then said with another point of his cane in my direction, "I like you, Merkin. Don't screw that up."
"Yes, sir, Mr. Rigfort." The boss started talking and I pushed 'record' on the tape player. This was easier then taking candy from a baby. Most of the meeting was boring. I sat there studying the stucco ceiling and wished I had cell phone so that I could play Tetris. And then it happened.
"You there! Merkin!" The call came so sudden like, I almost fell out of my chair. But, of course I caught myself, cause like I said, Merkin is cool, calm.
"Yes sir?"
"You're Miss Geller's personal assistant. This would be perfect for you. I want a follow up article to her story: to see if she affected a many lives as affected her. Interview that teacher she dates, some of her old classmates. That's great reporting. Grab the bull by the balls."
I was in shock. Wow! My own article� Not that I was so much a reporter, but hey, it was a start. As the meeting ended, I went to the men's room and took a long look in the mirror. Oh yes. Merkin is 'a workin'.
I went back to my cubicle and was so thrilled about the article that I cleaned my desk, Josie's desk, made coffee and then ran out for chocolate donuts (Josie's favorite) and her beloved index cards. Never could understand that woman's fascination with those little things�
When she came back around noon, she stared blankly at me as I stood leaning against my desk and smiling.
"Merkin!? What's gotten into you?" she said, totally amazed with my Feng Shui.
I just grinned.
"Are you ill!? You've actually worked!"
I shrugged. "Hey, baby, when you're a hard workin' newspaper man, you do what you can. I have been chosen to write a follow up article to yours. Chosen by 'the man' himself."
She stared. Apparently she was in awe of my power.
"Wow," she said finally. "I'm impressed, Merkin. Didn't know you were a writer."
"Yeah, and I get to interview your boyfriend, and you friends from South Glen South and that kind of thing." Oh yeah, she was impressed.
"That's great, Merkin. I hope it doesn't take away from your real job, though, get my drift?" She raised an eyebrow at me.
Was the broad trying to get at something? Eh, she's just jealous that now Merkin's got the power. I let it pass and gave her a shrug.
"Whatever. I'm movin' on up, baby." I flashed her my million-dollar Merkin smile.
"Who you callin' baby?" Sam Coulson rounded a corner and leveled his eyes at me while he placed his hands on her shoulders.
Now there's a dude with it all together, man. People are always checking him out. I glanced speculatively at the way he and Josie looked at each other. Now I had always figured Josie for a prude type, ya know, the whole virginal thing� But hey, considering how handsome and charming the guy was�not that I'm gay, mind you�
"Hiya, Sam. Just telling Josie here about my first story. I get interview you and her friends from South Glen. To see how she touched your lives�something about you touching hers, I don't know. Rigfort�" I motioned to my ear and circled it with my finger. I had to kiss the man's wrinkly white ass to move up in the business, but let's face it: he's quite the senile old coot. They shared a look. Oh yeah, they knew what the Merk-man be talking about.
"Well, Merkin. Congratulations. Call the office and leave a message on my voice mail. I think I'll have time to talk to you sometime this week," Coulson smiled at me. I winked in return.
"Well, I'll leave you two alone. I'm out to lunch. See you in a couple hours, Josie. Bye Sam." I grabbed my shades and the keys to my sweet BMW convertible before swiftly heading out the door. I was on the move, baby. Motion is power.
*To be continued. Please send me feedback!
* * *