* * *
All the next day, Sam found himself thinking about Josie. In the morning he drove to the school to see if her car had been moved. The dilapidated Vega was gone; Sam was filled with a sense of loss.
He met his friends for a softball game in the afternoon. They tried unsuccessfully to lighten his mood.
Jonathan, his best friend, took him aside later that evening, concerned about Sam's uncharacteristic silence. "You okay, buddy?"
Sam raked a hand through his hair. "I've just got a lot on my mind."
"You're not�considering getting back together with Lara, are you? 'Cause that was the best news I've heard in weeks."
"No. That's over. She's with someone else."
"And what about you? Is there another woman that's got you so�shaken?"
Sam looked down, unable to meet Jon's eye. "Sort of."
"So�why don't you just go for it? Ask her out."
"It's not that simple. There are huge obstacles�you can't even imagine�"
"What kind of obstacles? Nothing could be so huge�" Jon paused as one possibility entered his mind. "Sam�it's not�someone from your school, is it?"
Sam nodded miserably.
"I didn't know there were any young single teachers there. Besides, why would that be such problem?"
Sam looked uncertainly at Jonathan, unsure if he should tell him the truth. Finally, his need to talk about his problem won out. "Jon�it's not another teacher," Sam said very quietly.
Jon looked at Sam in shock. "Not a student�Sam�that's just not possible. Not for you." Another glance at Sam's face confirmed Jonathan's suspicion, but he wasn't ready to judge Sam, not without giving him a chance to explain. "I know you, Sam, so I'm sure you've got a logical explanation for this�"
"An explanation I can give you. I doubt it will be logical at all. I got a new student this semester, Josie Geller. She's brilliant, she loves Shakespeare, and she's an amazing writer. And something just draws me to her. When she first came, she was lonely. I swear Jon, I just wanted to help her�be a friend�but something would happen and we'd make eye contact and I'd lose myself in her eyes�she has the most amazing blue eyes. I knew I was in deep trouble a few weeks ago when I got on the Ferris wheel at Navy Pier because she was alone and somebody was giving her a hard time about it."
Jon raised an eyebrow in wonder. "You got on that Ferris wheel? This is more serious than I thought."
"I realized I was falling for her. Jon�she's seventeen-years-old and I'm crazy about her. I know I shouldn't be�but I am. I swear�I haven't said anything�or done anything�but�"
"You're in love with her?" Jon finished.
Sam nodded miserably.
Does she feel the same?"
"Honestly, I don't know for sure. But I think maybe she does�"
"She won't be your student for much longer, have you considered that?"
Sam nodded. "I've thought about talking to her after school's out, telling her how I feel. Then I think how unfair that would be to her."
"Maybe you should let her decide if it's unfair or not. Do you remember when Joanna and I met the summer after graduation?"
"Of course. You were like a crazy man."
"I fell hard and fast and she was only going to be a junior in high school. I tried to break up with her, remember?"
Sam nodded. "She hit you and yelled� 'How dare you think for me! Just because you're going off to college is no reason to break up.' I never understood what she meant, though."
"In my infinite wisdom, I decided that she shouldn't spend her last two years of high school tied to someone a thousand miles away. I even told her she'd thank me for it. I thought I was being noble, but she quickly disabused me of that notion. My point is�I thought because I was older that I knew what was best for her and for us. Thank God I was wrong. If you love this girl and she loves you, then you have to give her all the facts and let her decide. The only question is�do you want to be with her?"
"God help me, but I do."
* * *
May 29, 1999
Poor Jon. He was floored by what I told him about Josie. It felt so good to finally talk to someone about her and, as usual, Jon made a lot of sense.Graduation is only nine days away. Then I won't be in such an awkward position. I only hope that I'm not misreading her feelings. What if she laughs in my face? What if she thinks I'm some sort of degenerate for even suggesting such a thing?
Why couldn't the woman of my dreams be an adult? When I'm with her, I find myself forgetting that she's so young. Her wisdom, her intelligence, her wit makes her seem ageless. Perhaps I forget because I feel as if I've known her forever. I only know that love this powerful is too rare�to priceless�to ignore.
* * *
Sam laid his journal on the nightstand and turned off the light. He lay on his back, staring at the ceiling, thinking about Josie, and wondering if she would want him in her life. He smiled and rolled onto his side. Sleep claimed him for the first time in days�
Josie walked toward him wearing her cap and gown, smiling broadly.
"Hey there! So�guess what?"
"Hmmm�let me see�you just graduated high school?"
Josie playfully swatted him on the arm. "Nope. I just got accepted at Dartmouth with a full scholarship." Josie threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly. "And I owe it all to you. Thank you."
"I knew you could do it," Sam said proudly, "so�when do you leave?"
"I'm not going to start until spring semester, since I applied so late. I'll be staying in Chicago till then�working to save money. Even on scholarship it's going to be expensive."
"Oh, Josie�I'm so proud of you. But�" he leaned in close and whispered in her ear, "I'm going to miss you."
Josie blushed at the feel of his hot breath on her neck. "I'll miss you, too," she whispered back.
Sam caught her eyes and gazed deeply into them. "Josie�I need to talk to you�privately. Will you meet me later?" Sam's heart was pounding.
Josie's glance flickered away for a moment, startled by the emotions she saw swirling in Sam's eyes. "Where?"
"Buckingham Fountain�in say�an hour? Or do you have plans tonight?"
"Nothing I can't change," she said breathlessly. "I'll see you in an hour then, Mr�"
"It's Sam, Josie. My name is Sam," he breathed.
"See you in an hour�Sam."
* * *
Josie was prompt as always. "So�hi again," she said awkwardly.
Sam surprised her by reaching for her hand, linking his fingers through hers and leading her to a bench. "I guess you're wondering what I wanted to talk to you about," he said nervously. "There's something I need to tell you. But I have one question first."
"Okay, shoot."
"When is your birthday?"
"It was three weeks ago. I turned eighteen. Why?"
Sam couldn't mask the joy that overwhelmed him with that piece of information. "It makes what I'm about to say about a thousand times easier." He took a deep breath and cupped Josie's chin with his free hand. "There's no easy way to say this�so here goes�Josie�over the past few weeks, I've�developed feelings�strong feelings for you." He looked at her intently, trying to gauge her reaction to his announcement.
Josie was smiling, her eyes brimming with tears. "You have feelings for me," she said incredulously. A tear slipped down her cheek. "Oh, God�I never imagined�I never dreamed that you could feel anything for me�"
Sam gently wiped the tear from her cheek with his thumb. "I couldn't say anything�for obvious reasons. But�somehow�despite my efforts to the contrary�I've fallen in love with you. And�since I'm not your teacher anymore�"
"Oh, Sam." Josie reached up a hand to stroke his cheek. "I'm in love with you, too. I tried to convince myself it was just a crush�but I knew that it was so much more."
Sam leaned down and brushed her lips with his. Josie gasped softly and Sam deepened the kiss. Josie threaded her arms around his neck, pulling him closer still. She moaned as his tongue met hers. Her fingers found their way into Sam's silky hair. Sam's hands wandered up and down her back and tangled in her soft blond curls. Breathing hard, he broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers.
"Wow," he murmured kissing the tip of her nose. "Even better than I dreamed. Josie�I don't want this to interfere with the plans you've made�Dartmouth. I just�I only want to be a part of your life�however you'll have me. As a friend�or�"
"As a lover?" Josie whispered huskily.
Sam nodded. "I'll wait for you�for whenever you're ready�"
"How about now? Tonight?"
"But�you're so young. I don't want you to feel pressured at all."
Josie smiled shyly at him. "Last I heard�eighteen was considered the age of consent. You know, I don't take sex lightly�I am a virgin�but I've never been more certain of anything in my life. I've found my penguin."
"Yeah, me too." Sam kissed her tenderly. "Are you absolutely sure? You can change your mind at any time�"
"I know," Josie whispered. "I think that's why I'm so sure."
"Do you�do you want to follow me to my place?" he asked hoarsely.
"Actually�I had someone drop me off."
Sam was relieved, afraid he'd lose his nerve if he let Josie out of his sight. He led Josie to his Jeep and helped her in. They talked quietly during the ride. Sam kept hold of Josie's hand, pressing kisses to her fingertips�to her palm. When they reached his apartment, he turned the key in the lock, swung the door open, and flicked on the light.
He ushered Josie to a cozy sofa and sat down beside her. He put his arm around her shoulders and turned her to face him. Josie tilted her face up to his, meeting his eyes.
"I need to ask you something."
"Of course. You can ask me anything."
"Sam�what about your girlfriend�the one I met at the Club?"
"We broke up�a couple of weeks ago. But it's really been over for a long time. Any other questions?"
"Just one. Will you make love to me?"
In answer, Sam swooped down and kissed her, thrusting his tongue deeply into her mouth. He slid his hands beneath her and lifted her into his arms, carrying her to his bedroom and laying her on his bed. He swiftly stripped off her clothing and his and reached into the nightstand drawer�
* * *