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* * *
From his seat on the couch, Sam blinked a few times, leaning forward a bit. Had his brother just said what he'd thought he said? How was he supposed to react to this? Truthfully, what bothered him the most was that he had said it in such a nonchalant, "it's no big deal," way. "Um�You were?" was all he could manage to squeeze out.
Matt smiled at his brother, almost laughing. He knew that he had taken him by surprise, although he hadn't done this intentionally. "Yeah, I was."
Sam cleared his throat. "Um, just out of curiosity, what were the sleeping arrangements at Mom and Dad's?"
"Oh, I slept in the guest room, and Matt slept in his own room," Jen explained. "But we thought we'd make it easier for you here, so you don't have to worry about waking Matt up in the morning. Besides, the bed in there is big enough for two people."
"Yes, yes, it is," Sam agreed. "But I just don't know if�"
"Oh, come on, Sammy-boy!" Matt exclaimed, gently shoving his brother. "What's the problem? We're tired and we want to get some rest. You guys are watching this movie. You should be able to watch it. We don't want to be an inconvenience."
Sam could feel a headache coming on, and he stood up. "Matt, I think we need to talk," he told his brother. "Come with me."
Matt shrugged and followed his brother into the guest room, and they shut the door behind them. Matt sat down on the edge of the bed, looking up at his brother quizzically. "Hey, are you okay, Sam?" he asked, his brow furrowing. "You look kind of sick."
Sam paced back and forth in front of Matt a few times before stopping to look at him. "Matt, this is kind of hard for me. You're my brother�but I have to ask you this�are you a virgin?"
To Sam's annoyance, his brother laughed. "Sam, is that what you're worried about?" he asked.
"Well�are you?"
Matt nodded. "Yes, I am. I didn't say that we were going to do anything, Sam. And if we decide that we're ready to do it, I brought protection."
Sam covered his face with his hands. How could he be having this conversation with Matt, his kid brother, the same brother he had taught how to ride a bike and to play baseball? When did they come to this point? "Well�" Sam began, finally removing his hands from his face, "at least you're thinking ahead."
"Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, don't worry so much! Besides, you have no room to talk. You lost your virginity to Lara!" Matt said her name as if it were a cuss word and then paused for a moment to gauge Sam's reaction. He saw Sam's expression change. He didn't look quite as distressed, but Matt was still uncertain. He took a breath and continued, "I mean, Jen is the most incredible person I have ever met in my life. I really love her, and I told her this tonight, for the first time."
The last words out of Matt's mouth caused Sam to pause, sitting beside him on the bed now. "You told her you love her?" he asked, staring directly into his brother's eyes.
Matt nodded, a huge grin on his face. "Yeah�Yeah, I did. I always wondered how it would be when I finally found a girl I could love. Would I be able to tell her? I always thought that it would be so hard to get the words out, but it wasn't. When I'm with Jen�She�she makes me happier than I ever thought I could be. I just want to make her happy too and to let her know how much she means to me. I know you understand how that feels, Sam. It's that way with you and Josie, isn't it?"
Sam nodded, putting his arm around his brother's shoulders. "Yeah, Matt, it's exactly like that with Josie. I understand how you feel, and I trust you completely. You're an adult now, and I guess sometimes it's hard for me to remember that."
Matt smiled at him. "Thanks, Sam. Now, what are we sitting in here for? We have two lovely ladies waiting out in the living room for us!"
Sam and Matt went back out to the living room and the four of them talked for a few more minutes before Matt and Jen retreated to the guest room. Meanwhile, Sam and Josie finished watching their movie and then Sam walked Josie out to her car. "Are you going to be okay, Sam?" Josie whispered, touching his cheek gently.
Sam smiled at her. "Yeah, I'll be fine. This is going to take some getting used to, but my brother is an adult."
"Yes. He's a gentleman, just like his brother," she whispered, slowly standing on tiptoe to kiss him. "I'm really proud of you, you know."
Sam raised his eyebrows. "You are? Why? What did I do?"
"You're so good with Matt," she explained. "You have this way of dealing with him�Like a friend and a parent at the same time. He adores you. I can tell that he really values your opinion."
Sam blushed. "Well, we've always been close, in spite of our age difference. I think having a younger brother helped to keep me in check, too. I knew that he looked up to me, so I wouldn't do anything that I wouldn't want to see him doing."
"You'd make a great dad," Josie declared. "I love you so much." She threw her arms around him, hugging him close to her.
"I love you, too," he whispered, kissing the top of her head. At that moment, Sam felt incredibly at peace. Everything seemed to be right with the world. However, he was quite tired.
"Well, I should go," Josie whispered, letting go of him. Sam almost laughed, reveling in how much the two of them thought alike. "It's getting late."
"Yeah, I guess it is," he agreed.
"Call me tomorrow?"
He smiled at her. "First thing in the morning," he promised. He kissed Josie one last time before opening her car door for her and watching her slip in and drive away. He stood on the sidewalk and watched until her car was out of sight before finally going back inside his apartment.
* * *
"What did your brother say to you?" Jen asked Matt once they were both in the guest room with the door shut.
Matt shook his head, smiling. "Ah, he's just looking out for me. I think a part of him still thinks of me as a little kid, you know?"
Jen nodded. "Yeah, I understand."
"You always do," he said, smiling at her as he touched her cheek softly with the back of his hand. "Nobody understands things like you do. I love the way you look at me, and at the same time I hate myself for it."
"Why, Matt?" she whispered, confused.
He lowered his eyes for a moment, but then finally raised them again to meet her concerned gaze. "I don't deserve you," he whispered. "I am such an asshole, Jen. When I think about what I did to you tonight, how I hurt you, I just�it kills me! How can you put up with me?"
"You listen to me, Matt Coulson, and you listen good," Jen demanded, wrapping her arms around his waist. "I know that you would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. One mistake doesn't make you an asshole. It makes you human. Don't beat yourself up about this. I forgive you. I love you, and that's not going to change!"
For a moment, Matt just stared at her, his eyes wide, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Finally, he blinked a few times and then whispered, "I love you, too." He bent down to kiss her softly on the lips, but it had only lasted for a few seconds when she pulled away. "What's wrong?" he wondered.
"Nothing's wrong. I just thought it would be nice to put some music on." She had noticed the small portable stereo on top of the dresser across from the bed. She walked over to it now, turning on the radio.
"Hey, all you lovers out there," the cheerful male disc jockey on the radio exclaimed. "You're tuned to 98.5 LUV. I'm Jay Robinson, and I'll be up all night playing some of the best love songs to get you in the mood. Let's start things off with one of my personal favorites. This is 'Friday I'm in Love' by The Cure."
Jen stepped away from the radio and glanced over at Matt, who stood near the closed door, watching her. "Perfect," she insisted. Before going back to him, she went to one side of the bed, turning on the small lamp on the table beside it. Growing more curious by the minute, Matt watched as she then turned off the overhead light so that the room had a dim, romantic feel to it. "Dance with me," she whispered, putting her arms around his neck.
Matt smiled at her, circling his arms around her waist and pulling her close to him. "I like this song," he commented as she snuggled against him. She didn't reply, but only held tighter to him. Next, she began to move her hands softly up and down his back. "That feels nice," he choked out, completely mesmerized by her touch.
To Matt's surprise, Jen pulled away slightly and looked up into his eyes. With trembling hands, she slowly began to work at the buttons on the front of his orange plaid shirt. Once all the buttons were undone, he shrugged his shirt off his shoulders and it fell to the floor behind him. Next, she took his face in her hands and kissed him gently for only a moment before backing away from him. Staring into his eyes, she slowly pulled her yellow tank top over her head. She heard a gasp escape Matt and shivered at the obvious affect she had on him. In spite of his dreamy gaze, she suddenly felt self-conscious about standing there in front of him without a shirt on. "Matt�I�um�" she began, not sure what she was trying to say.
"You're beautiful," he whispered. He stepped closer to her, his hands moving to the clasp on the front of her bra. His hands were trembling so much that it took him a good ten seconds to complete the simple task of unhooking it.
When at last he finally did, she slipped her bra off her shoulders, smiling weakly at him. "Are you nervous?" she whispered.
Matt drew in a breath. "Oh, god, you have no idea! Are�are you?"
She nodded shyly. "I've never done anything even remotely close to this before. I'm nervous too, but I'm not scared. This feels right."
He nodded. "Yeah, it does."
In spite of the nervous feelings that overwhelmed her, Jen had never felt so safe and secure in her entire life. As she gazed into Matt's eyes, she knew that he truly did love her, and that he would never do anything to intentionally hurt her. She knew, as well, that he would stop this in a second if she asked him to. This knowledge helped to ease the tension building up inside her. She reached down and took one of Matt's hands in hers, slowly guiding it up to the area that her bra had once covered. She shivered as his fingers lightly passed over her sensitive skin and let out an involuntary gasp.
This sudden action on her part startled Matt and he stopped moving his hand, his eyes meeting hers. "Are you okay?" he asked her, concerned.
"I'm fine," she insisted, standing on tiptoe to kiss him softly on the lips. To her surprise, he let go of her completely and started toward the bed.
"Sweetheart, where are you going?" she asked, watching him.
"I thought we might be more comfortable over here," he explained as he began to turn down the covers on the bed. Once he had completed that task, he unbuttoned his pants and kicked them out of the way. Now he stood before her in nothing but navy blue boxer shorts. He looked at her for a moment before climbing into the bed, sitting up with his head against the wall.
Jen had stood there watching this scene in silence. The truth was that she couldn't begin to find the words to describe the feelings she had inside her just then. With each move he made, she loved him even more than ever. And now, as he sat there in the bed, watching her, waiting for her, her heart filled up and her desire grew to the point where she thought she'd burst. Her eyes locked with his, she slowly unbuttoned her denim shorts and let them pool around her feet.
"C'mere, beautiful," Matt beckoned to her, a mysterious grin upon his face.
All the desire that she had felt burning inside her for him came to the surface at that moment, and she practically sprinted to the bed, straddling his outstretched legs with her knees. She grabbed his cheeks with her hands and thrust her tongue into his mouth before he had a chance to say anything. She heard a breathy gasp of pleasure escape him as she moved her kisses down to his neck and then his chest.
As Jen kissed him, Matt began to completely lose his senses. All he could think of was this woman and how much he loved her, how much he wanted her. With all the strength he possessed, he gently lifted her body off his, laying her down on her back so that her head rested comfortably on the pillows.
She gazed up at him in bewilderment as he stood and removed his boxers, and while she watched him take a condom out of the drawer of the bedside table, she slowly slid her underwear off and kicked them onto the floor. As he slid down into the bed beside her, she couldn't stop a giggle from escaping her.
"What's so funny?" he demanded, unable to keep from smiling.
"Your brother keeps condoms in his guest room bedside table?" she asked.
Now it was Matt's turn to laugh. "No way! I�um�slipped it in there this afternoon when I came in here to set down my skateboard and video camera. I want you to know, Jen, that when I did that, I wasn't expecting anything out of you�I was just�um�being prepared. Even now, if you want to stop, I will. I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do."
"I know you won't," she whispered, moving closer to him in the bed. "You don't have to explain anything, Matt�This is truly what I want."
"Oh, god, Jen�" he gasped, pulling her into his arms so that her face was only inches from hers. "I love you so much. You mean the world to me. I thank God every day that He brought you into my life."
Upon hearing Matt's words, Jen unintentionally let a tear slide down her cheek, and Matt softly wiped it away with his finger. "Matt Coulson, that is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me," she whispered. "I love you too." She held tightly to him as he kissed her long and passionately, rolling her onto her back again and climbing on top of her.
When they had finished making love, Matt collapsed on top of Jen and then slowly rolled off her, completely spent. He reached over and turned off the lamp before pulling her into his arms, softly running his fingers through her hair.
"Matt, are you okay?" Jen finally whispered after a long silence lapsed between them.
"I've never been better," he assured her, gazing into her eyes. "That was amazing."
Jen nodded, glad for the darkness so that he couldn't seen her blush. "Yes, it was."
"Are you okay? You were crying. If I hurt you, I'm so sorry."
Jen tilted her head back and kissed him on the forehead and then on each of his cheeks. "It hurt a little bit at first, but it wasn't so bad. It was worth it."
"I'm glad. I love you so much, Jen."
"I love you too," she whispered, laying her head against his chest so that she could feel his heart pounding against her cheek. Those were the last words they spoke to each other before they fell asleep there in each other's arms.
* * *
Sam didn't know when exactly it was that sleep finally found him. It had been difficult with the knowledge that his brother was in the next room with his girlfriend. However, Sam realized that sleep must have overtaken him at some point during the night when the phone beside his bed rang, and he glanced at his alarm clock before picking it up, seeing that it was nine o'clock in the morning. "H-Hello?" Sam said groggily, slowly sitting up in bed.
"Sam, did I wake you up?" a soft voice asked on the other end of the line. It was his mother.
"Oh, hi, Mom. Yeah, but that's okay. I didn't want to sleep all day today anyway."
"Well, I'm sorry I woke you up, hon," she said, "but I wanted to see how you and Matty were doing."
"Oh, great. We're doing great," Sam told her, somewhat hesitantly.
"Isn't Jennifer fantastic?" his mother probed excitedly. "She's the sweetest girl! When they were here, she wouldn't stop volunteering to help me out. She even made dinner for us one night. Matty is so happy!"
"Yeah, he is," Sam agreed. "Jen is a terrific girl. They really love each other a lot."
"Yes. But there's something else, isn't there?" his mother asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Oh, come on, Sam, I can tell that something is troubling you. You can't fool your mother."
"All right, yes, there is something," Sam admitted.
"It's about Matty and Jennifer, isn't it?" his mother asked before he had a chance to say more. "Don't be so worried, Sam, your father and I already know about it."
"Know about what?" Sam probed, wondering if they were talking about the same thing.
"Matty talked to your father about it before they left here for your place. Your father nearly had a heart attack, but the two of them had a long talk about it, and both of us gave our consent."
"You�you mean�You know�about?" Sam stuttered.
On the other end of the line, his mother laughed. "Yes, Sam�Your brother told us that he truly loves Jennifer, and he said that he felt that he was ready to�well�show her just how much."
Sam laughed nervously. "Well, I sure wish somebody would have talked to me about this! It would have saved me a lot of worry! I didn't know what I would do if he came back home having lost his virginity without you guys knowing about it!"
"Well, now you can rest easy," she insisted. "But that wasn't all I wanted to talk to you about. We've met your brother's girlfriend, but we still haven't gotten to meet Josie."
Josie�Just hearing her name made him smile. "Yes, I know, Mom. I promise you'll get to meet her soon. Actually, I was thinking that we might take a trip up there sometime this summer. Of course, she would have to make sure to take off time from work. She said she still has plenty of vacation left."
"Wonderful!" his mother exclaimed. "Well, your father and I were thinking about inviting the two of you up to the cabin for the fourth of July. Your father wants to spend the holiday there, since we can light our fireworks on Lake Michigan." The Coulsons owned a small cabin in the northern part of Michigan, right on the lake. It had a small living area, a kitchen/dining room, a bathroom, and one bedroom. They would often spend time there in the summer months, and if anyone else wanted to come, they would usually bring tents. "Jennifer is going home after the fourth of July, and Matty is going to stay with her for a few weeks. Your father and I thought that this trip would be a great opportunity for all of us to get better acquainted."
Sam had always loved spending time at the cabin, and he and his family had gone there for at least a week every summer for as long as he could remember. They would lie on the beach, build sandcastles, and even swim in the cold water once they became brave enough. Sam and Matt loved to use their small inflatable rafts to jump the enormous waves that crashed onto the shore. "That sounds great, Mom. I'll have to talk to Josie about it, but I'm sure she'd love to come. She'll have to ask her boss for that vacation time, but somehow I don't think it'll be much of a problem after all she's done for that paper!"
"Well, that's terrific! Just let us know as soon as possible, hon, and hopefully we'll see you in a few weeks."
"Okay, Mom. Will do. Love you."
"I love you too, Sam. Bye."
Sam hung up the phone, smiling to himself. A week on the lake with his family and the woman he loved sounded like just what he needed. Smiling to himself, he picked up the phone and called Josie. "Hello?" she said cheerfully on the other end of the line.
"Hi, sweetheart, it's Sam," he said, feeling warm all over just from hearing her voice.
Josie laughed. "Well, I certainly hope so!" she exclaimed. "I wouldn't want some strange man calling me 'sweetheart'! How was your night?"
Sam sighed. "Ah, it was all right, but I missed you."
"Sam�" He could practically hear her blushing. She was so incredibly sweet! "I was wondering how things went with your brother."
Sam laughed. "Yeah, I know. Well, I am not entirely sure what happened last night. I wasn't going to spy on them or anything, but I'm pretty sure what I thought would happen did."
"Are you okay with that?"
"Yeah�yeah�Well, actually, my Mom just called. It turns out that Matt had talked to my parents about this beforehand. They knew what he was planning. I just wish they would've told me that! It would have saved me a lot of worry! My brother comes to visit me for a couple weeks and when he returns home he's no longer a virgin. I was worried that my parents would blame me or something, but they knew all about it!"
Josie couldn't help laughing. "See? You had nothing to worry about!"
"Yeah, well, that wasn't all Mom had to say. She wants us to come up to Michigan to visit them for the fourth of July. My parents have a cabin on Lake Michigan, up in the northern part of the state. We have gone there every summer for as long as I can remember. Anyway, my parents want us to come, and for Matt to bring Jen."
"Oh, that sounds like fun!" Josie exclaimed. "I'd love to go, Sam!"
"Good. Do you think Gus will give you the time off?"
Josie laughed. "Yeah. I think I can handle Gus. He's just a big softy underneath, especially after he and Anita got together."
"Ah. So they are dating now?"
"Yep. I think a part of it frustrates Gus. He doesn't have anyone to yell at anymore! But he and Anita are really happy. They're sweet together."
"Well, I'm glad. Look, Jos, I should probably go. I don't know what time my brother is going to be getting up, but I thought I'd have breakfast ready for them."
"Oh, what are you going to make?"
"The famous Coulson pancakes. My father's own recipe."
"Sounds good. You'll have to make them for me someday."
"Oh, I will. So, what are your plans for today?"
"Actually, I should probably get going too," she confessed. "I have to start working on next week's column." Following the success of Josie's "Never Been Kissed" story, Rigfort had almost immediately given her her own weekly column in the paper. She could write about anything that she wanted, as long as it related to her personally in some way.
"Oh? What's your topic?" Sam asked.
She giggled. "I don't know. I still have to figure that out. So, I'll talk to you later then, Sam?"
"Yep. I'll call you tonight."
"Not if I call you first!" she exclaimed playfully. "I love you, Sam."
"I love you too, Josie. Bye."
Sam hung up the phone, slowly climbing out of bed. He felt dizzy for a moment, as if he'd stood up too fast. He knew he had to get up though. He had guests, and as the host, he felt that it was his duty to be up and about before them, ready to get them anything they needed.
* * *
At just about the time that Sam stumbled out of bed, Jen slowly opened her eyes, rubbing the backs of her hands across them to get the sleep out. For a moment, she couldn't remember where she was, but the moment she felt Matt's arms around her, an enormous smile appeared on her face. His hands rested comfortably on her bare back, and she felt his breath in her hair as he slept quietly. Sighing contently, she splayed her hands on his chest.
Just as Jen closed her eyes again, she felt Matt stirring against her. "Jen?" he whispered.
"Matt?" She lifted her head to look up at him. His hair was tousled about his head from sleep, and he had a groggy, happy smile upon his face. "Did I wake you up, sweetheart?" she asked, unconsciously drawing circles around his nipples with her fingertip.
"Oh!" he gasped, closing his eyes. "You're driving me crazy, Jen!" he exclaimed, opening his eyes again as his fingers clasped the wrist of the hand that had been drawing on him.
"Sorry," she said, although she was secretly pleased that she had been able to affect him so easily.
Matt chuckled. "It's okay. But to answer your question�You did wake me up, but I don't mind. As a matter of fact, this is the best way I can remember waking up ever. I could get used to this."
"Me too." She sighed, reaching up to kiss his lips. He responded quite nicely at first, but then abruptly broke away from her and climbed out of bed. "Matt, what are you doing?"
He turned around and grinned slyly at her. "I think I hear my brother out in the kitchen," he explained. "We should probably get dressed and go eat breakfast. It smells like he's making the famous Coulson pancakes. My dad's own recipe."
"Mmm�Sounds good," Jen agreed, sitting up in bed with the covers pulled up around her chest. She watched as he bent to open his suitcase, allowing her a nice view of his bare backside. She thought that he was the most beautiful creature she'd ever seen, and he didn't even know it. He pulled out a white tank top, blue plaid boxer shorts, and denim shorts, which he then proceeded to put on.
Once he was dressed, he turned around and looked at Jen, who was still sitting up in bed, watching him. "What are you grinning about?" he asked her.
Jen shook her head. "Nothing�I was just watching you get dressed and thinking about how beautiful you are."
Matt blushed, sitting on the edge of the bed beside her. "Are you going to get dressed?"
"Of course. But you can go on ahead without me. Tell Sam I'll be out in a few minutes."
"Okay, but only if I get a kiss first," he insisted. She smiled at him, taking his face in her hands and kissing him softly, so softly, in fact, that he almost couldn't feel her. "So, you'll be out in a few minutes?" he asked, standing up.
She nodded.
"Okay. Don't be too long. I'll miss you."
"Matt�" she blushed.
"Really, I will. See you in a few, my love." With that, he unlocked the door and left the room. Once he had gone, Jen laid back on the soft pillows, closing her eyes.
"Thank you for this, God," she whispered. "Thank you so much."