episode1

Joyce: And honey, try not to get kicked out.

Xander: I kinda had a problem with the math.
Willow: Which part?
Xander: The math.

Xander: Can I have you?
Buffy: Huh...?
Xander: Uh... Can I help you?

Cordelia: The Bronze. It's the only club worth going to around here. They let anyone in but it's still the scene. It's in the bad part of town.
Buffy: Where's that?
Cordelia: About half a block from the good part of town. We don't have an awful lot of town around here.

Buffy: It doesn't involve moving, but it does involve hanging out with me.
Willow: Aren't you hanging out with cordelia?
Buffy: Can't I do both?
Willow: Not legally.

Willow: He was a curator at a British museum, or the British museum? I'm not sure. But he knows everything and he brought all these historical volumes and biographies and am I the single dullest person alive?

Cordelia: Oh please. I don't mean to interrupt your downwards mobility, but I just wanted to tell you that you won't be meeting Coach Foster, the woman with the chest hair, because gym was cancelled due to the extreme dead guy in the locker.
Buffy: What ?!?

Willow: What are you talking about?
Cordelia: Some guy was stuffed in Aura's Locker.
Buffy: Dead?
Cordelia: Totally dead! Way dead!
Xander: Not just a little dead, then?
Cordelia: Don't you have somewhere else to be?
Jesse: You know if you want a shoulder to cry on... or just to nibble on...
Buffy: How did he die?
Cordelia: Morbid much! I didn't ask!
Buffy: Um... I gotta book. See you guys later.
Cordelia: What's her deal.

Buffy: I didn't think there would be vamps on campus, and I don't care.
Giles: So why are you here?
Buffy: To... tell you... that... I don't care... Which... I don't... and... have told you... so... bye!

Buffy: To make you a Vampire, They have to suck your blood, then you have to suck their blood... So it's like a whole big sucking thing.

Buffy: First of all, I'm a vampire slayer. And secondly I'm retired. Hey, I know! Why don't you kill 'em?
Giles: I'm a watcher. I haven't the skill.
Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sun light. It's like falling off a log.
Giles: A slayer slays, a watcher...
Buffy: Watches?
Giles: Yes... No!

Angel: I know what you are thinking, but don't worry, I don't bite!

Buffy: Who are you?
Angel: Let's say I'm a friend.
Buffy: Well, maybe I don't want a friend!
Angel: I didn't say I was yours.

Willow: I thought Xander was gonna show up.
Buffy: Oh, are you guys going out?
Willow: No, we're just friends. We used to go out, but we broke up.
Buffy: How come?
Willow: He stole my Barbie.
Buffy: Huh...
Willow: Oh, we were five.
Buffy: Oh.
Willow: I don't actually date a whole lot...lately.
Buffy: Why not?
Willow: Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool or witty or at all. I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away.
Buffy: It's not that bad.
Willow: It is. I think boys are more interested in a girl who can talk.
Buffy: You really haven't been dating lately.

Buffy: Sieze the moment, coz' tomorrow you might be dead.
Willow: Oh, that's nice!

Jesse: You wanna dance?
Cordelia: With you?
Jesse: Well, uh, yeah!
Cordelia: Well, uh, no!

Giles: The vampire is not dead?
Buffy: No, but my social life is on the critical list.

Willow: It sure is dark.
Thomas: It's night.
Willow: Well, that's a dark time, night...traditionally.

Willow: Oh, okay, this is nice...and scary.

Buffy: Now, we can do this the hard way, or...well, actually, there's just the hard way.

Willow: Oh, I--I need to sit down.
Buffy: You are sitting down.
Willow: Oh, good for me.

Willow: Does anyone mind if I pass out?

Buffy: God, I'm so mentally challenged!

Xander: Yesterday, my life's like, "uh-oh, pop quiz!" Today it's, "Rain of toads".

Angel: They really don't like me dropping in.
Buffy: Why not?
Angel: They really don't like me.

Master: Tonight, I shall walk the earth, and the stars themselves will hide!

Xander: I don't like vampires. I'm going to take a stand and say that they're not good.

Buffy: So Giles, got anything that can make this day any worse?
Giles: How about the end of the world?
Buffy: Knew I could count on you.

Willow: Did we win?
Buffy: Well, we averted the apocalypse. I'll give us points for that.

Giles: We may, infact, stand between the earth and its total destruction.
Buffy: Well, I gotta look on the bright side. Maybe I can still get kicked out of school.
Xander: Oh yeah, that's a plan, coz' a lot of schools aren't on Hellmouths.
Willow: Maybe you can blow something up. They're really strict about that.
Buffy: I was thinking more of a subtle approach, you know, like excessive not studying.
Giles: The earth is doomed.