30/1/05
Under fire manager Oliver Sunter was again placed under considerable stress when he failed to arrive on time for Navvies FC's 7-2 humiliation to Bartsan Homer. Sunter who has been forced to undertake extra-curricular responsibilities with his job as Navvies FC expert for William Hill but this has seem him pressed for time on several occassions in recent weeks. After today's awful performance it remains to be seen what Sunter's strategy will be in coming weeks.
28/1/04
It was exclusively revealed today that Navvies FC manager Oliver Sunter is the first Navvy to be officially denounced as a charva. Rumours of this secret had circulated since he first drove a Ford Fiesta but have recently become a groundswell after he was seen wearing a hoopy jumper and listening to 50 "Fiddy" cent in his car. Navvies FC owner and proprietor, Don Banaczek, immediately set up an enquiry into this which was headed by Dr Filber McTavvish, a world renouned expert on Ja Rule and down lighting on three door hatchbacks.
The conclusions were published yesterday and said that Mr Sunter did indeed feature all the classic "chav" signs, including:
High drug intake
Low anger threshhold
Love of hip hop/RnB
Oliver should not feel alone, however, as clebrity chav's include ex-coke whore Daniella Westbrooke and TV's Vicki Pollard. The club's authorities have yet to comment on how this revelation may affect Sunter's standing at the club but refused to comment on whether or not a similar witch hunt was being carried out on the charge that Club Secretary and centreback, Tom Knapp, is a "dirty fucking greb".
Navvies are joint second in the second division, one place below joint third placed Real Ale Madrid.
24/1/05
Rumours that the Navvies are to be taken over by an elderly gentleman with a white beard have been denied by a source close to the club. "I can categorically state that the board have not been in contact with Mr Claus or any of his representatives. We believe these stories have come about following the takeover of a smaller local club by a man similarly with one foot in the grave. Anyway, there are those clubs who actually need the money, clubs in the crapper like Sheffield Wednesday.
Ken Bates is 103.
23/1/05
The Navvies are pleased to announce a new record breaking deal with their main sponsor Subside Sports. The deal is woth in excess of �190.00 which is a 32% increase on last years agreement. The new deal will see the Subside logo being carried on the home and new away shirts of the famous Navvies FC for the entire 2005 campaign.
The Club hope to unveil the new away kit within the next few weeks and it is understood it may be worn before the end of the season.
Replica kits are available to pre order from the Megastore and start from as little as �22.00.
16/1/05
The Navvies have moved swiftly to deny rumours that manager Oliver Sunter's absence from todays match with Pudsey Reapers has caused a rift within the management team. The statement from the office of Las Vegas based chairman Don Banaczek read:
"Oliver Sunter clearly has a right to pursue his extracurricular activities and hobbies such as his work with William Hill. Any person criticising any operations under my auspices knows full well the consequences involved with such accusations, and will be recieving a personal visit from my associates to ensure their compliance."
Oliver Sunter was unavailable for comment.