1  "That's weird..."
2  "It's never done that before."
3  "It worked yesterday."
4  "How is that possible?"
5  "It must be a hardware problem."
6  "What did you type in wrong to get it tocrash?"
7  "There is something funky in your data."
8  "I haven't touched that module in weeks!"
9  "You must have the wrong version."
10 "It's just some unlucky coincidence."
11 "I can't test everything!"
12 "THIS can't be the source of THAT."
13 "It works, but it hasn't been tested."
14 "Somebody must have changed my code."
15 "Did you check for a virus on your system?"
16 "Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel?
17 "You can't use that version on your system."
18 "Why do you want to do it that way?"
19 "Where were you when the program blew up?"
20 "I thought I fixed that."

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Responses of witness

Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyer's Journal, the following are 22 questions actually
asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases,the responses given by insightful witnesses: (I particularly like #22.)

1. "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

2. "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"

3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?"

4. "Were you alone or by yourself?"

5. "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"

6. "Did he kill you?"

7. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of collision?"

8. "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

9. "How many times have you committed suicide?"

10. Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"
11. Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"

12. Q: "You say the stairs went down to the  basement?"
 A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

13. Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn' t you?"
A: "We went to Europe, sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"

14. Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by who's death was it terminated?"

15. Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male or a female?"

16. Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."

17. Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."

18. Q: "All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?"
A: "Oral."

19. Q: "Do you recall the time you examined the body?"
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."

20. Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel."