Have a good Laugh

Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Sit down, sir,we serve anyone.
 

Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?
 

Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?
Waiter : I wouldn't know, Sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
 

Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But why aren't you laughing?
 

Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the RailwayCompany.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to Kuala Lumpur.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
 

Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
 
 

First guy(proudly) : "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy : "You're fortunate, mine's still alive."
 

The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?"
"Sure," replied her lover "What's your phonenumber?"
 

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order." The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honour, I'll have a
scotch and soda."
 

Customer : If I post this letter tonight,Will  it get to Penang in two days time?
Post Master : Well it might do.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Johor.